quick question.
Past relationships (specifically in Islam). What are your thoughts about sharing this with your husbands/wives? Me and my husband never discussed past relationships, I assume he had girlfriends in the past but I never asked, he hasn't shared any details, and to be honest this is not something that should be discussed specifically in accordance with Islam. For sisters who converted, same thing, I believe you should never reveal details about your sins to your future husband or your now husband.
All perfect praise be to Allaah, The Lord of the Worlds. I testify that there is none worthy of worship except Allaah, and that Muhammad sallallaahu `alayhi wa sallam ( may Allaah exalt his mention ) is His slave and Messenger.
Here is some information you may need showing the exact reasons why you or your spouse may not know about your past relationship, if any.
The following matters should be mentioned:
Committing sins openly is a grave major sin, and the Quran pointed to this, Allaah Says (what means): {And leave [i.e. desist from] what is apparent of sin and what is concealed thereof.}[Quran 6:120] The interpreters of the Quran said that ‘what is apparent' is the open sin, and ‘what is concealed' is the hidden sin, and it is also said that what pertains to the limbs is what is apparent and what pertains to the heart is what is concealed. Indeed, Allaah destroyed previous nations when they committed sins openly and underestimated the punishment of Allaah.
In addition to this, the noble Sunnah clarified the punishment of those who commit sins openly, as the Prophet sallallaahu `alayhi wa sallam ( may Allaah exalt his mention ) said: "All my nation will be forgiven except those who openly disclose their sins." [Al-Bukhaari and Muslim] The Prophet sallallaahu `alayhi wa sallam ( may Allaah exalt his mention ) then mentioned that an example of disclosing one's sins is that he commits a sin at night under Allaah's covering, and in the morning he goes and says (to people): “I did such and such a sin last night.”
In fact, this severe threat applies to whoever speaks out about a sin while boasting of having committed it, or out of luring others to commit it, but the person who speaks about it out of ignorance or asking the scholars to issue for him a Fatwa about what he did, then he is not included in this threat. The Fiqh Encyclopedia reads: “Disclosing one's sin out of ignorance is not like disclosing it out of boastfulness. Ibn Hajar may Allaah have mercy upon him said: 'If a person intends to disclose the sin and make it public, he angers his Lord.' Besides, Al-Khateeb Ash-Shirbeeni may Allaah have mercy upon him said: 'Speaking about one's sin for fun is absolutely forbidden.'”
Praise be to Allah, the Lord of the World; and blessings and peace be upon our Prophet Muhammad and upon all his Family and Companions.
Zina is a major sin and Allah warned us against it. Allah Says (interpretation of meaning): {And come not near to the unlawful sexual intercourse. Verily, it is a Fâhishah [i.e. anything that transgresses its limits (a great sin)], and an evil way (that leads one to Hell unless Allâh forgives him).} [17:32].
If you have committed this sin, repent to Allah, feel very sorry for what you have committed and promise Allah never to come back to this sin again. If you do this know that Allah accepts the repentance of those who repent to Him. Allah Says (interpretation of meaning): {Say: "O 'Ibâdî (My slaves) who have transgressed against themselves (by committing evil deeds and sins)! Despair not of the Mercy of Allâh, verily Allâh forgives all sins. Truly, He is Oft-Forgiving, Most Merciful.} [39:53].
Never tell what you have done to anybody. Since Allah has covered your sin so do not reveal it to anybody. The Prophet said: "Whoever commits any of these bad acts, he should screen himself with the cover of Allah and never reveal it as whoever discloses to us what he has committed we will apply retributive measures on him
So, if anybody wants to marry you do not mention to him what you have committed.
Malik reported in his Book of Hadith that a man offered to marry the sister of another. The latter told the former that his sister committed Zina before. When Caliph Omar Ibn Al Khattab ( may Allaah be pleased with him) heard the news he called the brother of the girl and said to him angrily: "Who told you to disclose this information?"
If someone wants to marry you do not tell him anything about your past sins unless he makes it a condition from the very beginning that he wants to marry you only if you are virgin. In this case, you could tell him that you are not accepting his offer without disclosing to him the reason. You should also pray to Allah as much as you can. Ask Him for forgiveness.
DEAR BROTHERS AND SISTERS PLEASE REMEMBER THAT TO DISCLOSE YOUR PAST SINS IS EVEN A BIGGER SIN. Allah knows best.
