Sponsor on parole! PLEASE HELP ME!

[Zeinab20]

Dear members!

Thank you for your time and replying with lots of information and advices! Me and my boyfriend talked about it a lot and he eventually suggested the following:

I will visit him and we will meet for the first time in August. I will stay with him for a bit and marry him. Then I will go back and stay here in the Netherlands. I will study here for my B.A degree which is a four year program. I will visit him every summer and if possible the Christmas holidays too.He said that this will be the best option for us because he needs time to prove himself to his parole officer and most important, Immigration Canada. We will keep all our evidence like posts, chats, email, phone bills and my air tickets and of course our marriage certificate too. We will make sure we take photo's of me and him during my visits with (then) my husband. Meanwhile he will save money for when I am finished with my study.

I am asking you what you think of our idea? We have been talking a lot and it was really frustrating for the both of us what to do exactly. He wanted to sponsor me after we marry and just give it a shot.. but he was worrying that if it will get denied, this will have bad consequences for future applications. Does anyone know if this is really the case?
So dear members, what do you think? Will four years be better and perhaps more hopeful for him to apply the sponsorship successfully? If they still will decline his application by then, at least I will have my degree and if I find work opportunity I could apply under skilled worker / professional immigration. I don't know much about this way of immigrating to Canada.
And what do you think of our plan to marry? It will be my first time to visit him and in that first visit we would like to get married. What are your views on this?

Thank you in advance!

 

[canuck0469]

Zein

My humble thoughts on this: Baloo, Bobshy, canadianw have given you very sound advice. To be successful in your application you will need to demonstrate how your relationship grew from your courtship, your constant communication up to the time of your marriage and your post marriage comms. If you marry right away without some time to build a relationship it may appear that it is a MOC (marriage of convenience) due to basically limited time together prior to marriage. You have enough challenges to deal with as it is and should ensure you have tons of proof of your genuine relationship. I would certainly visit with him so you are sure about your feelings and also to establish proof that you have met with him several times before you marry. This will also let your parents know that you are serious about him and give them some time to warm up to the idea. Your coming to vist will also help to show you will leave as per the guidelines as long as you do not overstay. Being married and attempting to travel may be harder than just coming to visit him as BF/GF as your ties to CA may be stronger than your ties to the Neth, afterall your husband is in CA and it would be natural to want to be with him.
Only my 2 cents worth, good luck

 

[canadianwoman]

And what do you think of our plan to marry? It will be my first time to visit him and in that first visit we would like to get married. What are your views on this?

I really think you should not marry the first time you go visit him. It is too soon. Even if you then wait for four years before applying, you will still have to explain why you married so quickly after meeting for the first time.
Go visit him in the summer and get to know him. Date, in other words. Then go back to the Netherlands and continue your relationship long distance. Then get married the summer after. This gives you what the visa officer would consider a reasonable time frame for the development of your relationship. The rest of your plan (getting your degree and applying after graduation, etc.) sounds fine. If you are enrolled in university in the Netherlands, you should have no trouble getting into Canada for a visit during the summers.

In most cases applying so long after getting married is not a good idea, but if you spend every summer together, and the Christmas holidays as well, it will not look bad. Plus you have a good reason to delay the application: getting your degree. There is also the consideration that your boyfriend wants to turn his life around; four years will give him the time he needs to prove that he can do this.

 

[Baloo]

You asked, but you wont like the reply...


Personal view, you have got to be crazy. You are setting yourself up for bigger problems than you have now (and they are not small to start with).

He said that this will be the best option for us because he needs time to prove himself to his parole officer and most important, Immigration Canada.

This sounds to me like he wants to use you for his own reasons.

Also, it has been mentioned before in the thread, getting married this quickly may well raise red flags for immigration.
It certainly looks like it could be seen as a marriage of convenience, I bet an IO would be even more critical.

What do you believe getting married will achieve, it seems like there are no real benefits for you by doing it this soon?
As a person married to a Canadian you certainly don't gain any rights or benefits in Canada ?
When you are married to a Canadian, the tax agency will want to know about your activities even though you may not be in the country full time. (personal experience).

You say that you want to get married because your family would not want you being with someone while un-married, but you also say they do not want you with him anyway.
How can you have concern for your family values and then in the next instance have no concern, you are being selective for your own purpose and to be honest you are also being quite naive.

It is pretty clear that you need to consult a lawyer before applying for PR, it has been said here numerous times. You need to get a definitive answer to when your partner can sponsor you.
It could be 20 years away, but you don't know. Sure there may be ways to shorten the time, but you cant just rush in without thinking.

Trying to visit a husband in Canada on a regular basis is likely to become more and more difficult. As you are from a visa exempt country I would guess that the first trip may well be OK, but on subsequent trips you will need plenty of proof for immigration, with a husband in Canada they are likely to suspect that you will not leave the country.

If you really want this guy - I would suggest that you visit as often as you can afford, carry on a long distance relationship, collect as much proof as you can, finish your degree and then get married. Visiting a friend is far easier than visiting a husband.

Reality

You are young, you think this person is "the one".
Four years of long distance relationship and lots of new friends in university may well change that.
If this guy is as good as you think, tell him that you have decided that you want to get married after your degree course is finished, see how he reacts, if he respects your decision - he may be the right man.

As you get older you will become wiser and maybe more cynical.
Your boyfriend already knows - mistakes are easy to make, but can be very hard to rectify. You need to be very careful what you do.

 

[kelKel]

Good answer Baloo! I could never imagine getting married to someone the first time I meet them even if I've visited for a couple months...and then leave and go reside in another country. It doesn;t make any sense whatsoever to marry at this point in time.

 

[Zeinab20]

canuck0469, Canadianwoman, Baloo and KelKel...

You are absolutely right. All of this is just confusing me..me and my boyfriend need to take our time..
Won't they find it suspicious though, that I visit Canada every year? Or can I just tell them that my purpose is visiting my boyfriend?

 

[Baloo]

As you visit Canada you will meet new friends, so you would say "I am visiting friends".

Visiting in the summer when you are not on your degree course would be logical to most people. Just make sure you have enough funds for your stay, a return ticket and proof that you are taking a degree course - make sure you don't overstay. In other words, if you show immigration that you abide by the rules, it should be easier.

 

[serenifly]

He lives near Vancouver, BC..

You're not going to want to leave after seeing Vancouver!

 

[KarenCee]

You are young, you think this person is "the one".
Four years of long distance relationship and lots of new friends in university may well change that.
If this guy is as good as you think, tell him that you have decided that you want to get married after your degree course is finished, see how he reacts, if he respects your decision - he may be the right man.

As you get older you will become wiser and maybe more cynical.
Your boyfriend already knows - mistakes are easy to make, but can be very hard to rectify. You need to be very careful what you do.

This is what I was thinking as well. Plus you have mentioned that your family is concerned about all this, are you taking their concerns into consideration? Sometimes parents are pretty wise - I feel you would do well to listen to their concerns.

From personal experience....get that education. Get that degree because a good education will take you a long way and provide for you in order to support yourself. IF he loves you like he says he does, he will not rush you into marriage this soon and will wait for you.

Be very careful my dear...whatever you decide to do when you visit.

 

[patiently_waiting]

This is what I was thinking as well. Plus you have mentioned that your family is concerned about all this, are you taking their concerns into consideration? Sometimes parents are pretty wise - I feel you would do well to listen to their concerns.

From personal experience....get that education. Get that degree because a good education will take you a long way and provide for you in order to support yourself. IF he loves you like he says he does, he will not rush you into marriage this soon and will wait for you.

Be very careful my dear...whatever you decide to do when you visit.

Plus this gives him all the time he needs for a pardon! Slow and steady wins the race!

 

[serenifly]

Also as far as taking things slow ... another poster on page 4 suggested. I made my husband get a 6 month visitors visa first and we lived together before I would concider a proposal. I tell you Cohabitating is the ultimate test! I was with my ex for 5 years, we didnt survive 6 months living together! haha don't get married on the first visit you meet, even if it 'feels right' you're young, and he has his past. And you REALLY need to get to know eachother a bit better. IMHO!

 

[nylalisa]

So this is my opinion... I can't say much about meeting someone for the first time and getting married, after nearly 9 months of "dating" online, I travelled knowing I had the approval of parents on both sides to get married. With that being said, I KNOW what kind of ride I am in for with an IO to bring my husband here. And honestly, with the best intentions or no this creates a great amount of stress on two people who are living apart and newly married. I suspect I am older than you, I have completed a few degrees, I am a year from being a lawyer, there is absolutely no criminality in my background, but given we met and married on our first visit together... I know this poses a difficult case to us.

You can bet for sure, whether or not he is LEGALLY allowed to sponsor you, you both will be scrutinized... You have to remember that as long as decisions are well motivated, an IO has plenty of discretion in their decision. I suspect taht when it comes to you, you are young, I don't know the age difference between you both but I am sure it will be a factor if it's too great. They will worry about the fact that he is on parole. This is a risk factor, as he will be responsible for you for 3 years upon approval of your PR. It's a risk because he is of risk of going back to jail if he re-offends or violates his parole in any way. Then who is gonna care for you?

Another issue is by your own admission, you don't have the support of your family. They will look at this, who knows about your relationship, what do they think of it? They will look at things like life experience too, you said about completing your degree...things like this. I suggest you do this, as everyone has clearly clearly told you multipple times in multiple ways, get to know each other, there is no rush, get some life experience under your belt. Go to school work, travel a bit and come and see him. A true relationship will stand the test of time. Trust me you have no idea what it is like to mary somoene and then return to your home country and not see them except for once or twice a year. If you plan to do school, travelling will become harder and harder.

Everyone has a different case, but some are more straight forward then others, and trust me, but trust me many memebers can attest to a more simple case then yours and having a hard time getting their spouse here, even getting denied. Listen to the memebers, take your time, no need to rush. To be honest if I could go back and do it again, I would visit a a few more times before getting married. This has nothing to do with my relationship with my husband, I made a great choice in him. But our lives would be so much easier infront of immigration.

Sorry for the rant, just thought I should give it straight how I see it.... it's complex!!!

 

[whoopsydaisy]

Also as far as taking things slow ... another poster on page 4 suggested. I made my husband get a 6 month visitors visa first and we lived together before I would concider a proposal. I tell you Cohabitating is the ultimate test! I was with my ex for 5 years, we didnt survive 6 months living together! haha don't get married on the first visit you meet, even if it 'feels right' you're young, and he has his past. And you REALLY need to get to know eachother a bit better. IMHO!

If I'm not wrong I think Zeinab mentioned somewhere in this thread that her parents won't allow her to live with her boyfriend prior to marriage. Perhaps this may be the reason why they want to get married so quickly? I don't know. If I'm wrong, Zeinab, please forgive me. And I must add that what the others have said here are very true. All the best to you.

 

[Zeinab20]

As you visit Canada you will meet new friends, so you would say "I am visiting friends".

Visiting in the summer when you are not on your degree course would be logical to most people. Just make sure you have enough funds for your stay, a return ticket and proof that you are taking a degree course - make sure you don't overstay. In other words, if you show immigration that you abide by the rules, it should be easier.

Ok thank you Baloo. Maybe I could take a year off before I start with my study, get a working-holiday and stay in Canada for a year. In order to really get to know him???

 

[Zeinab20]

You're not going to want to leave after seeing Vancouver!

Serenifly, I can't wait to see it!
And yes we just really need to get to know each other. Thanks for posting!