boo... big hugs to you, get it out of your system today then press on... hold up and head up... pull it together and get it done! you've come too far to give up!
2 things to do/remember
1) get the evidence (my thoughts below)
2) since this is an outland application, worst comes to worst, you've got the right of appeal... which you both will be prepared to WIN if it comes to!!!!
here's what you should be gathering (i'm sure there's plenty of other things but these i think will help the most for your case)
- EVERY piece of mail with both your names on it together... if you have none of that, every piece of mail with his name on it and then a few with your name showing the same address
- EVERY picture of the two of you together... heck if you have to send personal-type ones, i'd do it... lol
- Any evidence you have of trips you've made to see him since he's been in JA... (passport stamps, plane stubs, pictures ect)
- all phone logs... your phone bills since you've applied and his phone records (claro can pull, digicel likely the same.... it'll be hundreds of pages likely but do it!!!!)
- any financial interdependence evidence (joint bank statements, any western union receipts, anything that one of you are the beneficiary for the other ect)
- any evidence of inet communications (chat logs, emails ect)... kill a few trees and print ALL of it if you keep in contact online... and leave it uncensored!
- letters from friends/family stating that they know you to be a genuine married couple (they have samples kicking around this site)... having these notorized would be pricey, but probably a good exercise...
- and lastly a personalized letter from both of you explaining how you were not prepared for the type/manner of questioning, as polite and professional as possible, but in direct terms describe how you found the interview in some ways inappropriate and offensive. tread carefully for this, be respectful but explain your concerns and feelings of mistreatment. Apologize for not being prepared, and express that you hope this additional evidence will prove your relationship, however if it is not sufficient, please let this letter stand as a formal complaint of interview treatment...
If you want to take this up with me in a more private forum, i can help you formulate words around this (i'm a writer and have written a couple of letters for friends in the similar areas and gotten positive results )... i'm a bit overscheduled these days, so it will be a bit challenging to pin me down, but i feel your pain and want to help!!!