IELTS - Writing - For Band 7 or Above.

[Dr.sony]

Hello all,
Any one here who followed videos from e2 jay and succeeded to get 8777 score? I need to follow a reliable instructor. I found jay good with his lessons but confused if he is useful to get 7 in writing and speaking

 

[mohit2018]

Guys, can you provide your feedback on the essay below please?

Some people believe that it is wrong to keep animals in zoos, while others think that zoos are both entertaining and ecologically important. Discuss both views.

It is believed by many that keeping animals in zoos is unethical, while there are others who contend that zoos not only provide entertainment to people, but also are essential to preserve biodiversity. this essay will discuss both the sides of the argument in the following paragraphs

On the one hand, the opponents of the idea of the zoo argue that keeping animals in zoos alter the psychology of wild animals. This is because the wild animals are kept in man-made confined habitats and they get fed without making any effort to hunt for their daily food. However, these animals are made to live freely in the wild and are required to survive by utilizing their hunting skills. According to a survey by Wild Animal Welfare Society, India, around 70% of wild animals kept in zoos have lost their natural instincts.

On the other hand, proponents of keeping animals in zoos favour this notion mainly because of two reasons. Firstly, animals at the zoo provide entertainment to the visitors. This is to say that many animals are trained to show off their cognitive skills to the visitors during various shows. Dolphin shows, for example, are favourite of many, where dolphins showcase their abilities by entertaining people. Secondly, the zoo plays a vital role in the conservation of various endangered wildlife animals. Species at the risk of extinction receive the best care and supervision to reinvigorate their count in an ecosystem. This has been proved by the fact that tigers, which ones were only a few left on earth, are now increasing significantly due to the crucial role of zoos.

To encapsulate, the role of zoos in our society is profoundly contentious. While many find them wrong because they change the behavior of wild animals, others, however, consider them important for entertainment and world wildlife conservation.

 

[ks_grewal]

Could someone please answer the below queries regarding opinion essay?

1) In agree/disagree questions, Do we need to be completely agree/disagree about the topic OR we can go for both sides?

2) Also, I have seen people who first give their opinion in introduction part(for example, they agree about the statement). Then they start writing 1st body paragraph about the other side, writing its advantages etc.

After that in 2nd paragraph they write about the side, on which they agreed and give ideas, explanations, examples to support.

In this way, they don't have to think about many ideas and it saves their time and give them more content for the essay.

As I know, we should write 2-3 body paragraphs for one side on which we agree or disagree, each one having an idea and support sentences with examples.

What is the correct approach?

 

[H0peAndFa1th]

Could someone please evaluate my essay? Thanks in advance!!

Topic: Nowadays, some people claim that public museums and art galleries will not be needed because people can see historical objects and works by using computer. Do you agree or disagree?

Some people believe that public museums and art galleries are not required as old objects and works can be watched online using computers. I completely disagree about this claim and think that they are necessary for country development and protecting historical work.

1S : don't copy paste exactly from prompt.
2S : clear disagree good, showed why "country development and protecting historical work" is also good
now I have glimpse of what you are going to talk about.

Firstly, Museums and art galleries are essential in order to protect historical things and work. Secondly, they help in preserving our culture and history. People from all around the world visit these places and it helps visitors to know about local tradition and past works. For instance, some museums and galleries have antique paintings which give visitor a glimpse of past, that a computer could not provide. Hence, such infrastructure should be maintained and remained intact, though they require huge funding from the state government for their maintenance.

everything is great here beside this "though they require huge funding from the state government for their maintenance."

I think its fine without that concession, you are contradicting yourself.

Another benefit that museums brought is that they help in the growth of tourism and economy. This is because tourists like to visit such places and fund generated thereafter, is used in the development of the country. In addition, art galleries generate ample employment opportunities for the people of the country. Therefore, for country's economic development, having historical museums and art galleries is beneficial. Despite this, watching history over computers is an easy and comfortable way but they could not provide the view that museums can give.

"Despite this, watching history over computers is an easy and comfortable way but they could not provide the view that museums can give"

again concession, I personally feel its good for balanced approach, but examiner may feel it contradicting.

To conclude, this essay discussed the reasons why museums and art stations in a country are helpful for preserving and watching historical works and, in my opinion, they should not be removed and continue to help in tourism and economic growth of the country.

nice conclusion,

I can't see a reason to mark it lower than 7.5 or 7

Well written essay, Kudos.

 

[H0peAndFa1th]

Guys, can you provide your feedback on the essay below please?

Some people believe that it is wrong to keep animals in zoos, while others think that zoos are both entertaining and ecologically important. Discuss both views.

It is believed by many that keeping animals in zoos is unethical, while there are others who contend that zoos not only provide entertainment to people, but also are essential to preserve biodiversity. this essay will discuss both the sides of the argument in the following paragraphs

good,
but I would say avoid this "this essay will discuss both the sides of the argument in the following paragraphs"

On the one hand, the opponents of the idea of the zoo argue that keeping animals in zoos alter the psychology of wild animals. This is because the wild animals are kept in man-made confined habitats and they get fed without making any effort to hunt for their daily food. However, these animals are made to live freely in the wild and are required to survive by utilizing their hunting skills. According to a survey by Wild Animal Welfare Society, India, around 70% of wild animals kept in zoos have lost their natural instincts.

"the opponents of the idea of the zoo argue that" << its wrong, you have to tell your say not others.
what is your take of this side ??

everything else is nice and smooth.

On the other hand, proponents of keeping animals in zoos favour this notion mainly because of two reasons. Firstly, animals at the zoo provide entertainment to the visitors. This is to say that many animals are trained to show off their cognitive skills to the visitors during various shows. Dolphin shows, for example, are favourite of many, where dolphins showcase their abilities by entertaining people. Secondly, the zoo plays a vital role in the conservation of various endangered wildlife animals. Species at the risk of extinction receive the best care and supervision to reinvigorate their count in an ecosystem. This has been proved by the fact that tigers, which ones were only a few left on earth, are now increasing significantly due to the crucial role of zoos.

"proponents of keeping animals in zoos favour this notion" same
endangered, risk of extinction, reinvigorate, significantly, crucial << nice vocab

To encapsulate, the role of zoos in our society is profoundly contentious. While many find them wrong because they change the behavior of wild animals, others, however, consider them important for entertainment and world wildlife conservation.

encapsulate,profoundly, contentious, << nice vocab

Nice conclusion.

your vocab, language, phrasing is great, everything is smooth, understandable.

I feel it can fetch 7 or more, very easily.

in 40 minutes and on paper, I can't write like that.

 

[ks_grewal]

1S : don't copy paste exactly from prompt.
2S : clear disagree good, showed why "country development and protecting historical work" is also good
now I have glimpse of what you are going to talk about.


everything is great here beside this "though they require huge funding from the state government for their maintenance."

I think its fine without that concession, you are contradicting yourself.



"Despite this, watching history over computers is an easy and comfortable way but they could not provide the view that museums can give"

again concession, I personally feel its good for balanced approach, but examiner may feel it contradicting.



nice conclusion,

I can't see a reason to mark it lower than 7.5 or 7

Well written essay, Kudos.

Thanks a lot for your reply!!

 

[ks_grewal]

Does anyone has idea about computer-delivered and paper-delivered IELTS test? Which one is better to choose in India?

 

[H0peAndFa1th]

Does anyone has idea about computer-delivered and paper-delivered IELTS test? Which one is better to choose in India?

I don't think they are doing it in India, know any locations where it is available ?

 

[thegeek]

I don't think they are doing it in India, know any locations where it is available ?

Staring in Delhi from August.

 

[mohit2018]

good,
but I would say avoid this "this essay will discuss both the sides of the argument in the following paragraphs"



"the opponents of the idea of the zoo argue that" << its wrong, you have to tell your say not others.
what is your take of this side ??
[Mohit] : Are you sure?? because we need to only discuss two sides and not to give our opinion as the question dint asked for it. Hence, the choice of words.
everything else is nice and smooth.


"proponents of keeping animals in zoos favour this notion" same
endangered, risk of extinction, reinvigorate, significantly, crucial << nice vocab




encapsulate,profoundly, contentious, << nice vocab

Nice conclusion.

your vocab, language, phrasing is great, everything is smooth, understandable.
[Mohit]: Good to hear that. especially from you. coz you do rip off essays. (Y)
I feel it can fetch 7 or more, very easily.
[Mohit]: Great !! Looks like I am improving..
in 40 minutes and on paper, I can't write like that.
[Mohit]: I do had this problem, but now its improving by practice. Now I take around 45 mins to complete such essays. By the way, I am hoping to appear for Computer delivered IELTS next time, if I dont make it this time. Coz, my typing is quite fast around 50 WPM. and It would be easy to edit and correct on a computer than erasing and re-writing the lines .

Anyway, Thanks for your inspiring feedback mate.

 

[mohit2018]

I don't think they are doing it in India, know any locations where it is available ?

Yeah. Its out in Delhi. I checked on IDP website. It has more test dates in a month. And results would be out in just 5-7 days.

 

[H0peAndFa1th]

I do had this problem, but now its improving by practice. Now I take around 45 mins to complete such essays. By the way, I am hoping to appear for Computer delivered IELTS next time, if I dont make it this time. Coz, my typing is quite fast around 50 WPM. and It would be easy to edit and correct on a computer than erasing and re-writing the lines

Yea, it would help us, because I didn't wrote anything on paper in last 12 years, thoughts became incoherent while writing on paper.

 

[Santacan]

Yea, it would help us, because I didn't wrote anything on paper in last 12 years, thoughts became incoherent while writing on paper.

True typing is much faster and easier to correct. Move around words and sentences. It is much more flexible with regards to editing

 

[ks_grewal]

True typing is much faster and easier to correct. Move around words and sentences. It is much more flexible with regards to editing

But I think it will be hard in case of reading section. As its little difficult to scroll for the passage and look for the questions same time, on the computer.

 

[H0peAndFa1th]

But I think it will be hard in case of reading section. As its little difficult to scroll for the passage and look for the questions same time, on the computer.

nope, I skim through pages like crazy, I think for me it would atleast 20% more faster, It depends on your computer usage and habits, I spend all on it, reading and skimming information on the internet..