Koukla, I feel and empathize with your pain and hurt. There's nothing in this world that could possibly hurt more than when someone uses and abuses you....especially someone who you love so much.
I promise you one thing here and you may not see it today, tomorrow or even the next while, but I can assure you that when you've gained the courage to walk away from this situation, he's going to grovel in ways an earthworm couldn't ever imagine. Don't even try to comprehend the situation or make sense out of it as I know that is what's running through your mind every minute of the day. Why and how could he do this to you? You've done so much for him and you love him so. How could anyone be so inhumane and not give you what you are deserving of. One day hopefully sooner rather than later, you'll wake up and say to yourself "Koukla, it doesn't matter why any more. The closure isn't even important. Only thing that matters is that I get the hell out of this asap. Not another second, not another minute. Run as if it's all you have to save your own life." At this time, your "true self" will take over and gradually gain the confidence, strength to build back what was stolen and broken.
He has crossed the line here. Could you ever possibly trust him again and live peacefully within your own spirit. I highly doubt it. We don't need to point out the signs as you already know them. I'm sorry you are going through this. You know what you need to do. You simply need to find the courage to write that email to CIC or pick up the phone. On the day you do, it will be the first day for the rest of your life.
Halfmoon: wow! its a great piece, I liked it so much. Keep writing. Your witing is so organised. Good one, hun. Thanks.
