Good morning forum-family! Soooooo.... I lurk much more than I post now, and maybe some of the older members, or members who have gone through this process can give me a yay or nay, but basically, here is how the emotional process goes (for me at least):
Step 1: Sponsorship Application
*So incredibly excited to get this process on the go. The month or two that it can take for approval (mine was a couple of weeks), can feel like a long time, yet it passes fairly quick because it's the beginning and I'm still running off of adrenaline and excitement from the filing and the simple thought of us being together forever. By the time SA comes around, starting to feel discouraged, but everything picks up and feels awesome once you see that Approval come through. You immediately think "OMG, already?! My spouse will be here in just a few months now!"
Step 2: Permanent Residence Application
*Your application has been sent to Jamaica (WOOHOO!), this is going to be a breeze! We are ready for anything that is thrown our way, I'm so glad our marriage is stronger than others we have heard of and we won't fight and we will be understanding and blah blah blah.... that's usually the first few months. Usually around the 6 month mark of your file sitting in Kingston with ABSOLUTELY NO WORD OR MOVEMENT, you start to get upset. The arguments begin, but are tolerable still (that's okay, you will Skype, call, visit more - you will be fine!). You are watching others hear something from Kingston, you are frustrated, but you don't really speak up because you're so early in this process compared to others, you feel as though you can't really complain because some people wait YEARS. That 6-month mark creeps up to the 10-11month mark and at this point your getting incredibly irritable. Both you and your spouse. You can't really put your finger on it, but it's the process. It chips away at the bond you have with your spouse and picks at your foundation, trying to have it crumble beneath you - the system is whispering "throw in the towel, it's not worth the stress!" You then hit the 1-year mark.... it's almost like a trigger. You cannot believe you haven't heard a word! You're now going to sue the government for trying to ruin your family! You're going to petition, you are going to riot... THEY CAN'T DO THIS! But what we forget is... yes they can. They have been doing it for years.
Step 3: "In-Process/PPR"
*This is grueling (believe it or not). Sometimes you long for the feeling of not knowing... because now you are in process and every day feels like a WEEK! You will start complaining or venting more and those who haven't heard anything yet will get upset with you "Imagine how we feel?! We haven't heard anything at all! You should be grateful!" Please do not mistaken complaining for lack of gratefulness. We are SO happy that our files are being looked at, but it seriously feels as though every day is almost a week long. Then that email/phone call/letter comes in asking for something (usually Passport) and you are on Cloud 9 again! In goes that passport! It will be back any day right?! -Remember my comment about the days feeling like weeks-
Step 4: "Decision Made"
*This is it! It's over! Finally! We are getting whatever it is we need back and we can be together. This is usually done within a day to a week (sometimes longer). But from the time you see "decision made", you know it's over.... those "days" now feel like MONTHS. Every hour feels like a week. It's like the closer you are, the more painful and dragged out the entire thing is!
Step 5: "Passport in hand"
*NOW it gets exciting! They have the VISA, they have the passport and they have a flight booked. Time has returned to normal... or at least we thought it has. What actually happens is there is a major time warp in our minds and all of a sudden, that year(s) you have been apart was not nearly enough time for you to prepare for them coming home to you - SO MUCH TO DO AND NOT ENOUGH TIME! But there is time, and you are ready and so are they, because it doesn't matter what it there or isn't there, you will be together, and that's all that matters.
ADDITIONAL POINTS:
-Your pain will ALWAYS outweigh others (even if we don't want to admit it)
-Your application it ALWAYS the most important one
-You will ALWAYS want to be processed first (even before those waiting for years)
-You WILL be grateful for your status once it moves, but you will complain just as much (unless it moves crazy fast)
-You WILL get mad at others, be short tempered and lash out (on the forum, in person, everywhere)
-You WILL feel bad and apologize (a lot)
-NOBODY will understand the pain you are going through in this process more, than someone who is in, or is going through, this process too
MAY THE ODDS BE EVER IN YOUR FAVOUR! :-* :-* :-*
Also, for you all as well of course. Plus my bday is in December so would really LOVE for him to be home for that too!
