Ielts became trial and error method.hmm, one can say that, to support that theory, I have my own experience and some knowledge of internal working of IELTS.
I got 1 band jump (from 6.5 to 7.5) in speaking after EOR, so one would surely question which marking is correct.
remark success thread contain various examples for writing, .5 to 1 band jump is a normal thing there.
after mind boggling facts and conclusion, you can surely say that. they are deliberately lowering our band scores.
also going for EOR and re-taking the test.
thanks for your support.
take a look at this table, I think its true.
I always wrote the letter first, took too much time, messed the essay and always got 6.5 bands.
for the first time I wrote essay first, took much time, wrote the letter in 12 minutes, it was mess, not clear writing, just completed the word count.
and got 7 in writing for the first time.
now this time, wrote the essay first, but this time I experimented with different writing style, did it in 40 minutes, word count was good, there was 11 sentences only.
then wrote the letter, focused too much on one bullet points. once I started explaining that It was hard to stop in middle of it.
other two bullet points got little attention, messed up letter, result in 6.5 bands again.
Its okay, we do make mistakes. own your mistakes and improve them,
IELTS - Writing - For Band 7 or Above.
- Thread starter H0peAndFa1th
- Start date
Appreciate your effort in reviewing my essay...Thanks a lot. Will look into your feedback comments.
Thanks a lot for views and feedback !
Feeling motivated and positive
Just to see the improvement, will share few more after applying feedback for checking. hopes that's fine or should
Rest Of the member : don't hesitate to share views based upon experience and lead me to right way!
Feeling motivated and positive
Just to see the improvement, will share few more after applying feedback for checking. hopes that's fine or should
Rest Of the member : don't hesitate to share views based upon experience and lead me to right way!
@H0peAndFa1th
@cansha
Please review this and share views.
Many offenders commit more crimes after serving the first punishment. Why is this happening, and what measures can be taken to tackle this problem?
Generally, Imprisonment has designed in such a way wherein, an individual can introspect and correct their non-legit acts, before joining back the society again, however current trends demonstrate that many but not all, opposes this motive and indulge themselves into recurring criminality. We will deep dive into possible factors behind this act along with the remedial resolution to limit it.
There are a great number of prominent reasons to understand why people commit repeat crimes. Firstly, after perceiving their initial sentence, they are more likely to be treated unequally in the society and workplace which makes it tougher for them to recreate their professional and personal life again. To exemplify, Usually, the current employer does not let employee continue to do the job at the workplace if he recently served a sentence. Lastly, Individuals usually identify this path as cash cow which require only minimal efforts to gain monetary benefits and acquire social status back.
On the other hand, there is an enormous way to limit the cycled offense. Firstly, society should welcome people who finish their imprisonment and must not discriminate in terms of the work opportunity, social equality etc. Second, the government should focus on constructing a rehabilitation program containing not only physical development but also to shape their minds into the right way. Lastly, Individual must also take learning from the initial punishment to develop strong willpower and become self-committed for not repeating the same behavior.
To conclude, avoiding repeat offenses would seek parallel contribution from society, to opt to broaden thinking, the Government to develop more personalize and fruitful programs and of course, Individual who needs to be persistent to avoid the repetitive bad behavior.
@cansha
Please review this and share views.
Many offenders commit more crimes after serving the first punishment. Why is this happening, and what measures can be taken to tackle this problem?
Generally, Imprisonment has designed in such a way wherein, an individual can introspect and correct their non-legit acts, before joining back the society again, however current trends demonstrate that many but not all, opposes this motive and indulge themselves into recurring criminality. We will deep dive into possible factors behind this act along with the remedial resolution to limit it.
There are a great number of prominent reasons to understand why people commit repeat crimes. Firstly, after perceiving their initial sentence, they are more likely to be treated unequally in the society and workplace which makes it tougher for them to recreate their professional and personal life again. To exemplify, Usually, the current employer does not let employee continue to do the job at the workplace if he recently served a sentence. Lastly, Individuals usually identify this path as cash cow which require only minimal efforts to gain monetary benefits and acquire social status back.
On the other hand, there is an enormous way to limit the cycled offense. Firstly, society should welcome people who finish their imprisonment and must not discriminate in terms of the work opportunity, social equality etc. Second, the government should focus on constructing a rehabilitation program containing not only physical development but also to shape their minds into the right way. Lastly, Individual must also take learning from the initial punishment to develop strong willpower and become self-committed for not repeating the same behavior.
To conclude, avoiding repeat offenses would seek parallel contribution from society, to opt to broaden thinking, the Government to develop more personalize and fruitful programs and of course, Individual who needs to be persistent to avoid the repetitive bad behavior.
You should spend about 40 minutes on this task.
Write about the following topic:
Nowadays food has become easier to prepare. Has this change improved the way people live?
Give reasons for your answer using your own ideas and experience.
Write at least 250 words.
Today’s women are quite fortunate to be blessed with latest state-of-the-art food processing utensils. Such convenience was unimaginable by our grandmothers, who would prepare everything by hand and with lots of rigor. Advancement in food processing machinery and availability of ready-made food has not only facilitated women but has also made a family happier and healthier.
Most of the food is now available in ready-made or half-cooked form in the market, which saves lots of time for women and ultimately they can allocate that time to their children or other pending household chores. If one goes to a supermarket, he can find a variety of spices, burgers, pizzas, nuggets and French fries etc. available in semi-cooked form. One just has to put them into microwave oven before serving them to anyone. This convenience has allowed today’s home makers to spend quality time with family members and dedicate their time to better and more strategic activities e.g. kid’s education, home maintenance, social networking etc.
Moreover, some cutting-edge food processing machinery is available nowadays to quickly cut, chop and grill the food for consumption. Nowadays one can chop or mince the meat at home in a chopper, one can get fresh fruit juice with the help of a juicer and can get grilled food with the help of an oven. In earlier days, if somebody had to have grilled food, he would have to setup a Bar B.Q. grill outside his home and neighbor had to bear with the smoke. But now they can get it easily from their ovens without any smoke. This has led to development of healthy eating habits e.g. now one can include fresh juices, grilled food and vegetable salads in their daily meals.
Altogether, ease in preparation of food has brought many improvements and changes in our lifestyle. One can improve health as well as lead a happy life by adopting these new-world’s facilities.
Write about the following topic:
Nowadays food has become easier to prepare. Has this change improved the way people live?
Give reasons for your answer using your own ideas and experience.
Write at least 250 words.
Today’s women are quite fortunate to be blessed with latest state-of-the-art food processing utensils. Such convenience was unimaginable by our grandmothers, who would prepare everything by hand and with lots of rigor. Advancement in food processing machinery and availability of ready-made food has not only facilitated women but has also made a family happier and healthier.
Most of the food is now available in ready-made or half-cooked form in the market, which saves lots of time for women and ultimately they can allocate that time to their children or other pending household chores. If one goes to a supermarket, he can find a variety of spices, burgers, pizzas, nuggets and French fries etc. available in semi-cooked form. One just has to put them into microwave oven before serving them to anyone. This convenience has allowed today’s home makers to spend quality time with family members and dedicate their time to better and more strategic activities e.g. kid’s education, home maintenance, social networking etc.
Moreover, some cutting-edge food processing machinery is available nowadays to quickly cut, chop and grill the food for consumption. Nowadays one can chop or mince the meat at home in a chopper, one can get fresh fruit juice with the help of a juicer and can get grilled food with the help of an oven. In earlier days, if somebody had to have grilled food, he would have to setup a Bar B.Q. grill outside his home and neighbor had to bear with the smoke. But now they can get it easily from their ovens without any smoke. This has led to development of healthy eating habits e.g. now one can include fresh juices, grilled food and vegetable salads in their daily meals.
Altogether, ease in preparation of food has brought many improvements and changes in our lifestyle. One can improve health as well as lead a happy life by adopting these new-world’s facilities.
You should spend about 20 minutes on this task.
You took your family to a nearby restaurant. You were disappointed with the meal and wish to complain to the manager.
Write a letter to the manager of the restaurant. In your letter,
» explain why you were at the restaurant
» describe the problems
» write about the action you want the manager to take
Dear Manager,
I am writing this letter to complaint about my disappointing experience at your restaurant. I want to draw your attention towards the tasteless and overcooked food served at your restaurant.
Yesterday, I visited your restaurant on account of family dinner and we ordered a Mexican steak and a Peri-Peri grilled chicken. When the meal arrived, I observed that it was overcooked and had some burnt marks on it. I asked from the waiter to change it but he refused to do so. Unwilling I took a few bites of meat but it was utterly tasteless. I could not believe that how such kind of below standard food could be served in such an expensive restaurant.
I want you to take notice of the negative experience I had at your restaurant and make a full refund of the bill, that I paid. In case of your non-action, I might resort to social media to express my dissatisfaction. Looking forward to hear from you soon.
Your truly,
AMk
You took your family to a nearby restaurant. You were disappointed with the meal and wish to complain to the manager.
Write a letter to the manager of the restaurant. In your letter,
» explain why you were at the restaurant
» describe the problems
» write about the action you want the manager to take
Dear Manager,
I am writing this letter to complaint about my disappointing experience at your restaurant. I want to draw your attention towards the tasteless and overcooked food served at your restaurant.
Yesterday, I visited your restaurant on account of family dinner and we ordered a Mexican steak and a Peri-Peri grilled chicken. When the meal arrived, I observed that it was overcooked and had some burnt marks on it. I asked from the waiter to change it but he refused to do so. Unwilling I took a few bites of meat but it was utterly tasteless. I could not believe that how such kind of below standard food could be served in such an expensive restaurant.
I want you to take notice of the negative experience I had at your restaurant and make a full refund of the bill, that I paid. In case of your non-action, I might resort to social media to express my dissatisfaction. Looking forward to hear from you soon.
Your truly,
AMk
Ha ha ha.Thanks for the review..its so heartening to get some appreciation from you
Credit is all yours! Reviewing is relatively easy. And it would be heartening to see all of you score high bands. That will be really pleasing for me.
Dear Friends, this thread has become my go to resource for everything about WT2. I appreciate the time and the effort that key members are putting in to review and provide feedback on our essays.
My IELTS is in another 2 weeks and i'm in the last leg of my preparation. I cam across this topic on another forum and have attempted an essay for the same. However, the questioned is framed in a unique way and does not directly come across as advantage/disadvantage or opinion essay. I have taken a shot at this essay. Can you please review and comment on the following
1. What type of essay is this? ad/disad or opinion
2. Comment on structure and content of my response. Should i combine any of the below paragraphs?
Thanks for your time
Topic: Many young people regularly change their jobs over the years. What are the reasons for this? Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?
Among the new generation of workers switching jobs frequently has become an acceptable practice. Some of the key reasons for this phenomena include the desire to earn higher salary and achieve faster career growth. While frequent moment in jobs has several positives, there are also negative aspects that can harm the young workers in the long run.
Nowadays, youngsters are more mobile and have higher career aspirations. In order to achieve their dreams, young workers switch jobs quite frequently for reasons including better compensation, new responsibility, and broad experience. Several surveys by HR companies show that 70% to 80% of job switchers earn an average of 30% hike over their current compensation and move at least one level higher in their new jobs, thus helping them achieve their professional goals faster.
Perhaps, the biggest incentive for people to switch jobs is to monetise their current knowledge by moving to a higher position in a new organisation, which invariably provides a higher remuneration. Also, people who have worked in multiple companies usually have a strong social network which they can leverage towards their professional growth.
While frequent job change can provide better salary and job levels, it does cause harm to the individual in the long run. Job hoppers are not considered as experts since they frequently switch companies without investing time to build expertise. Yes will portray job switchers as generalists rather than subject matter experts. Another key disadvantage is that frequent movers are not considered for senior leadership positions since they do not have a good understanding of organisation and people culture, which comes only through longevity in the company.
As global workforce becomes more younger and career ambitions grow, the advantages of earning more compensation by working in a better role with a larger social connect clearly outweigh the disadvantages of spending many years in few companies with a slim chance of moving to the top.
My IELTS is in another 2 weeks and i'm in the last leg of my preparation. I cam across this topic on another forum and have attempted an essay for the same. However, the questioned is framed in a unique way and does not directly come across as advantage/disadvantage or opinion essay. I have taken a shot at this essay. Can you please review and comment on the following
1. What type of essay is this? ad/disad or opinion
2. Comment on structure and content of my response. Should i combine any of the below paragraphs?
Thanks for your time
Topic: Many young people regularly change their jobs over the years. What are the reasons for this? Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?
Among the new generation of workers switching jobs frequently has become an acceptable practice. Some of the key reasons for this phenomena include the desire to earn higher salary and achieve faster career growth. While frequent moment in jobs has several positives, there are also negative aspects that can harm the young workers in the long run.
Nowadays, youngsters are more mobile and have higher career aspirations. In order to achieve their dreams, young workers switch jobs quite frequently for reasons including better compensation, new responsibility, and broad experience. Several surveys by HR companies show that 70% to 80% of job switchers earn an average of 30% hike over their current compensation and move at least one level higher in their new jobs, thus helping them achieve their professional goals faster.
Perhaps, the biggest incentive for people to switch jobs is to monetise their current knowledge by moving to a higher position in a new organisation, which invariably provides a higher remuneration. Also, people who have worked in multiple companies usually have a strong social network which they can leverage towards their professional growth.
While frequent job change can provide better salary and job levels, it does cause harm to the individual in the long run. Job hoppers are not considered as experts since they frequently switch companies without investing time to build expertise. Yes will portray job switchers as generalists rather than subject matter experts. Another key disadvantage is that frequent movers are not considered for senior leadership positions since they do not have a good understanding of organisation and people culture, which comes only through longevity in the company.
As global workforce becomes more younger and career ambitions grow, the advantages of earning more compensation by working in a better role with a larger social connect clearly outweigh the disadvantages of spending many years in few companies with a slim chance of moving to the top.
The introduction is okay. See, your last line is basically not adding anything. If you read the intro you have already presented your viewpoint. Isn't it? So this line is not adding any value and looks like an attempt to increase word count.
Also, I like the ideas in the intro. Personally, I would flip lines two and three and slightly reword them. For example,
Many people consider growing up years in the school as the best period of their life. I completely endorse this viewpoint .... (see writing it here relates back to the sentence now. The way you have written the viewpoint is one sentence back and hence not "cohesive"). Hope it makes sense to you.
Good. Your English is nice! No real Grammar issues. Ideas are clear and flow is good. Nice!
Again, if I was writing this I would probably switch the order of para 2 and para 3. Your vocab is quite good for IELTS. If you had started the para better it would have been awesome!
My suggestion would be to have two lines in the conclusion. This looks a little light!
Overall, I don't see any big issues in terms of Grammar or English. I think you can definitely score band 7 or above. You need to be careful about ordering your ideas a little better.
My other suggestion would be to try topics which are a little tougher. May be pick topics which were asked in recent IELTS exam. I would really like to see what sort of ideas you come up with in some other topics.
All the best!
First comment .. Please practice on more recent topics asked in IELTS. The reason is this topic I have seen N number of times on various wesbsites. See I don't know if you have read an essay on this topic before but what happens is subconsciously you try to emulate the essay you have read.
Therefore, test yourself on more recent essay topics. Now let's look at the essay.
Don't take too many reds as anything bad. But those things could be a little better. I understand your idea. However, the first sentence is such a long sentence and has too many commas. I know people say write complex sentences and all but then review your sentence to make sure all parts of the sentence are in agreement. I have seen your previous essay. You can definitely write better than this. Not sure if this was lack of focus while writing this one.
Ideas are good. I see some silly mistakes. Makes me wonder if you wrote this with full focus.
See I don't know whether this is lack of focus, typo errors or genuine errors. But these are avoidable. So take care of them in future.
I marked a few words and gave better alternatives to them in the context. Something if you want to consider for future writing.
You definitely have all the ingredients of writing a good essay. As I said be more careful when writing. And also try a few more recent topics.
I don't want to rate this one. It feels like this one was written in haste or with lack of focus. I hope to see a better one next time!
Thanks Cansha for your profound analysis. I"ll write an essay for a recent question and request you to analyze. Thank you.
Ha ha this topic is funny! And actually a little tricky as well. Where did you even find this?
Good intro and vocab. Two errors in the last sentence. Facilitated is wrong word choice there. And, you have messed up the not only ... but also construct. Your homework to figure out how to fix it
. Go a few pages back I had written a post on how to write not only ... but also. Good! One thing I would say is if possible stay gender neutral in essays. There is nothing wrong with the way you have written it. It's my personal view point that formal essays need to be gender neutral unless the topic really demands it to be specific to a particular gender. I liked how you used one and home maker in later sentences. Even a male can be a home maker. But the first line specifically refers to only women. If possible, avoid those references.
Overall I like the idea flow in this one also. And I like that you have used two paras for two different ideas. You're now getting a hang of writing a good essay!Moreover, some cutting-edge food processing machinery is available nowadays to quickly cut, chop and grill the food for consumption. Nowadays one can chop or mince the meat at home in a chopper, one can get fresh fruit juice with the help of a juicer and can get grilled food with the help of an oven. In earlier days, if somebody had to have grilled food, he would have to setup a Bar B.Q. (ok now you are inventing spellings
I don't quite like the last line. The relation of food processing machinery and last line is a difficult to see. May be it's just me. But read it again and see if you still think it is correct. Or may be someone else can chime in.
I think you missed a trick in the conclusion and it could have been better. You had such a nice point in first para that time saved could be spent in other activities and family. I think somehow a reference to that would have made conclusion better. What do you think?
Overall, your writing is improving. Ideas are flowing better. As I said in some previous reviews try a few recent topics and challenge yourself a little bit more.