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IELTS - Writing - For Band 7 or Above.

dvm.bilaeen88l

Star Member
Jun 29, 2018
120
49
35
Pakistan
Category........
FSW
Visa Office......
London
NOC Code......
3114
App. Filed.......
18-01-2018
Doc's Request.
05-02-2018, 10-07-2018
AOR Received.
18-01-2018
Passport Req..
03-10-2018
Test Date 08 Sept 2018
Listening 8.5
Reading 9
Speaking 7.5
Writing 6.5
OverAllBandScore 8

Can not believe It !!!!
I feel very sorry for you hope and faith.
I would like to console you and would like to ask you to go for a eor, pls.
Even if you dont want to do that, still you should think again once on my suggestion. Please.
Good Luck. Really want to see you over the line asap.
Regards.
 

Babukumar

Star Member
Feb 23, 2018
160
112
I wish you best of luck for your journey ahead, don't make any mistakes while filing PR application, go through a lot of threads before submitting it.

Because they are just like IELTS, they need one reason to reject you, they don't care, they won't listen to your appeal.

Please make your life great and help others whenever you can, no matter how small or big. Canadians are nice people, enjoy your life.
Sure.. I will do my best. Thanks a lot for the wonderful wishes . Do not give up until you get your score..All the best.
 

Babukumar

Star Member
Feb 23, 2018
160
112
You deserve a lot of credit, firstly to have the courage to post essays on an open forum and then taking the feedback / criticism in a positive way. And then working on it. It is very inspiring for me.

And @H0peAndFa1th if you made difference to even one person you have done wonders mate! All the best to you as well!
Thanks a lot. I really felt so bad for @hopeandfaith as i no where equal to that writing style,i cannot evaluate . I pray hard for all to get their scores soon and start their process. Ielts sucks ..
 

Babukumar

Star Member
Feb 23, 2018
160
112
For all getting 6.5 continuously , please note down ,
Aim to get 7 and above in task 1 , if you get 6.5 in T1 and 7 in T2 you ll end up at 6.5 whereas if you get 7 or 7.5 or 8 at T1 and 7 in T2 you ll get 7. Though we are trying hard to achieve 7 in the essay and if we didn't concentrate on T1 we ll end up at 6.5.

My experience, at 6th attempt I wrote under words for T1 but my essay was good. That made me stall at 6.5

This time, its formal letter so I spent around 30 mins on that and the worst case is I got an extra sheet for T1. So just 20 mins left for T2 after planning. I didn't write well. Tricky question too. Essay it's easy to get 7 as everyone knows.

In T1 try to get 7, do not take it for granted.

Thanks once again. Practice, do not get frustrated and never ever give up.

All the best!
 

H0peAndFa1th

Hero Member
Jun 19, 2017
485
471
Do you think they purposely give you 6.5 in writing?

They must know you need 7 for express entry and you never know what they were doing at the back.
hmm, one can say that, to support that theory, I have my own experience and some knowledge of internal working of IELTS.

I got 1 band jump (from 6.5 to 7.5) in speaking after EOR, so one would surely question which marking is correct.

remark success thread contain various examples for writing, .5 to 1 band jump is a normal thing there.

after mind boggling facts and conclusion, you can surely say that. they are deliberately lowering our band scores.



I feel very sorry for you hope and faith.
I would like to console you and would like to ask you to go for a eor, pls.
Even if you dont want to do that, still you should think again once on my suggestion. Please.
Good Luck. Really want to see you over the line asap.
Regards.
also going for EOR and re-taking the test.

Thanks a lot. I really felt so bad for @hopeandfaith as i no where equal to that writing style,i cannot evaluate . I pray hard for all to get their scores soon and start their process. Ielts sucks ..
thanks for your support.

For all getting 6.5 continuously , please note down ,
Aim to get 7 and above in task 1 , if you get 6.5 in T1 and 7 in T2 you ll end up at 6.5 whereas if you get 7 or 7.5 or 8 at T1 and 7 in T2 you ll get 7. Though we are trying hard to achieve 7 in the essay and if we didn't concentrate on T1 we ll end up at 6.5.

My experience, at 6th attempt I wrote under words for T1 but my essay was good. That made me stall at 6.5

This time, its formal letter so I spent around 30 mins on that and the worst case is I got an extra sheet for T1. So just 20 mins left for T2 after planning. I didn't write well. Tricky question too. Essay it's easy to get 7 as everyone knows.

In T1 try to get 7, do not take it for granted.

Thanks once again. Practice, do not get frustrated and never ever give up.

All the best!
take a look at this table, I think its true.



I always wrote the letter first, took too much time, messed the essay and always got 6.5 bands.

for the first time I wrote essay first, took much time, wrote the letter in 12 minutes, it was mess, not clear writing, just completed the word count.
and got 7 in writing for the first time.

now this time, wrote the essay first, but this time I experimented with different writing style, did it in 40 minutes, word count was good, there was 11 sentences only.
then wrote the letter, focused too much on one bullet points. once I started explaining that It was hard to stop in middle of it.
other two bullet points got little attention, messed up letter, result in 6.5 bands again.


Its okay, we do make mistakes. own your mistakes and improve them,
 
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saurabh2004

Star Member
Aug 29, 2017
64
2
Hi friends, I tried writing Task 2 essay. I would highly appreciate if someone can review and provide feedback comments.

Topic:
Being a celebrity - such as a famous film star or sports personality - brings problems as well as benefits.

Do you think that being a celebrity brings more benefits or more problems?

Essay:
Most of us are keen to be a famous person like a celebrity, as we are very impressed by their glamorous life. The life of the celebrities has its own advantages as well as disadvantages. I feel the problems associated with this profession can be minimized by following a prudent approach. We will discuss the pros and cons that are attached to this profession, in this essay.

The foremost advantage is the financial aspect. They earn a lot of money in a short span of their life. , that a common man cannot even imagine. Moreover, they get a lot of love and affection from the public. In some parts of India, these stars are worshipped as go. There are temples in their names. In addition, the next generation of these celebrities gets an easy platform, to start their career. Since there parent has connects with an elite class of the society like politician, industrialist etc.

Unfortunately, all these benefits come with a cost. One of the major shortcomings of being famous is that one needs to forego his/her privacy. The public, as well as the media, feels as if all the information pertaining to their private like should be provided to the public. Moreover, the children of these celebrities are under a lot of pressure. Since the children of these famous people are often compared to their parent. We fail to appreciate the fact that this success is achieved after a number of years of hard work and dedication.

In summary, every profession has its own advantages and disadvantages. This stands true for celebrities as well. However, these famous people can minimize these problems by keeping a clear demarcation between their professional and personal life. Moreover, they can sensitize their children regarding social pressures and ways to handle it. With all this, they can enjoy their successful life without much compromises.
 

paramsingh88

Member
Mar 1, 2018
13
3
I would suggest you to follow JAY for writing section as he has explained all the 7 types of essays ...


Disclaimer: As a writer of this thread, I never got more or less than 6.5 in writing.

I am stuck at 6.5 bands in writing, got personal training from ex-ielts examiner, she explained alot, but still no avail, read books/info/tutorials from various ex-examiners, such as ielts-simon.com, Ryan higgins (ieltsielts.com), ielts Liz and many others I can't remember now.

My other maximum scores, Reading: 9 ( in both AC & GT), Listening: 8.5 , Speaking: 7.5, in short: Reading depends on your vocabulary, Listening and Speaking is luck. I admit that my grammar is weak, at least I feel that.

enough about me, Let's Talk business.

in this forum, there are many others like me, So I want to focus only on writing.

Feedback From IDP on writing


This is just a starting, I will add learning material, essays, essay analysis, written essays by me etc.

Let's admit that, we fail at writing and there is no conspiracy theory. Let us work towards improving it.

Please Share writing material, tips, tricks etc.


Post your own essays

I would like to suggest that you should take print out of this pdf file.
its cleared sample answer sheet pdf,
then
write on that, in time bound manner, like in 30 minutes
Click picture of it and post here, then we can check each others mistakes.
Make sure your handwriting is understandable and picture is nice.
Code:
 PDF:
https://uploadocean.com/eg22ddhpevxa
https://sendit.cloud/xqcitn78kx1e
I really hope we can work something out here.


Writing Materials

1. IELTS Academic & General Task 2. How to Write at a Band 9 Level (2017) -Ryan Higgins
note: I think this is the best source to know what cohesion and coherence is.
Code:
https://sendit.cloud/yxc3cmnc20zb
https://uploadocean.com/gwu8my7znuba
2. Essay Writing for English Tests by Gabi Duigu
note : This book should be your first book to understand what kind of writing they want from you, it was re-printed in 2003, I think this is mother of most of other ielts books, others are spin-off of this one.
Code:
https://sendit.cloud/6mjetq4kwjf7
https://uploadocean.com/6vgvszt4d930
3. IELTS Writing General Task 1 - How to write at a band 9 level -Ryan Higgins
note: Precise and clear in less time.
Code:
https://uploadocean.com/4aveqeoqi002
https://sendit.cloud/iaod6hvt090n

More material will come..
 

Aruntocanada

Star Member
Feb 21, 2016
158
28
NOC Code......
0124
Hi all,

I have written Ielts thrice but achieved 6 in writing. This time I want to hit 7 and improved a lot: Please review my essay and share feedback.

Nowadays we are producing more and more rubbish.
Why do you think this is happening?
What can governments do to help reduce the amount of rubbish produced?
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.



Nowadays, owing to the over consumption of non-reusable things by citizens invites increasingly dirt in the neighborhood which has finite reasons attached to it. This essay will discuss significant contributor along with measures needed to be undertaken on individual and authorities level as well to resolve this to limit the garbage problem.

First we must address the significant contributor to littering concern which has arisen recently. To name them, citizens has adopted the habit of using plastic bags in order to carry eatables from shops and supermarkets opposed to use jute or cotton bag and end up pushing them to garbage bin. On the other hand, certain people don't even care to dump them in bins however, throw on the street or in open space. To exemplify, People often through soft drinks bottles on road sides.

Certainly, solving this issue is the need of the hour which seeks contributions not only person's level, however, authorities can't just wash off their hand. To start with, the government institution must put a ban on the plastic usage in the affecting area additionally, placing the garbage bins appropriately with a clear directive to use them. For example, the certain province in India has banned the plastic usage recently. Another initiative could be taken to educate people towards sanitation and eventually avoid infectious deceases.

To conclude, dirty neighborhood has becoming more and more damaging to the person and society which has led by loose government policy and citizen's carelessness. Therefore, solving aforementioned concern lies equally on citizen to opt cleanness near to surroundings and government of the country to develop educational campaigns along with imposing right laws.
 

H0peAndFa1th

Hero Member
Jun 19, 2017
485
471
Just to make it clear, I got 7 in writing only once, Its my view, take it or leave it, it's totally upto you.

you can also read previous reviews for more clarification, I am still learning, you can take a look at links in my signature, my purpose of doing it is to engaging myself in an active manner to learn more.

Hi all,

I have written Ielts thrice but achieved 6 in writing. This time I want to hit 7 and improved a lot: Please review my essay and share feedback.

Nowadays we are producing more and more rubbish.
Why do you think this is happening?
What can governments do to help reduce the amount of rubbish produced?
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Nowadays, owing to the over consumption of non-reusable things by citizens invites increasingly [ ever increasing ]dirt in the neighborhood which has finite reasons attached to it. This essay will discuss significant contributor along with measures needed to be undertaken on [at] individual and authorities level as well [as] to resolve this [this refers to what ?] to limit the garbage problem.
sometime we need someone else to show our shortcomings, If we can see them on our own, we can become GOD.

here you are trying to write complex language, I would say trying hard, but there is no need for it. say simple things easily, make less mistakes, I must confess that I do make the same mistake, over-complicating things.

your vocabulary and word use is good.

First we [avoid using we,I,you] must address the significant contributor to littering concern which has arisen recently. To name them, citizens has adopted the habit of using plastic bags in order to carry eatables from shops and supermarkets opposed to use jute or cotton bag and end up pushing them to garbage bin. On the other hand, certain people don't even care to dump them in bins however [seems like wrong use of however], throw on the street or in open space. To exemplify, People often through [throw] soft drinks bottles on road sides.
vocab is good, most of word use is also good, again its the wording/phrasing which is little odd, don't push too hard.

Certainly, solving this issue is the need of the hour which seeks contributions not only person's level, however, authorities can't just wash off their hand. [wrong sentence]
[
Certainly, solving this issue is the need of the hour which seeks contributions not only at individual level but also at authoritative level ; authorities responsible just can't wash off their hands.
]
To start with, the government institution must put a ban on the plastic usage in the affecting area additionally, [wrong use of additionally. just use and "and must place the garbage bins.."] placing the garbage bins appropriately with a clear directive to use them.

For example, the certain province [ wrong wording, say "some states/provinces"] in India has banned the plastic usage recently. Another initiative could be taken to educate people towards sanitation and eventually avoid infectious deceases. [improve it a little, "...sanitation which will eventually help people to avoid infectious diseases."]
To conclude, dirty neighborhood has becoming more and more damaging to the person [which person ? wrong use, so say "individuals"]and society which has led by loose government policy and citizen's carelessness. Therefore, solving aforementioned concern lies equally on citizen to opt cleanness near to surroundings and government of the country to develop educational campaigns along with imposing right laws.
you understand things, you have vocabulary, you can use rare words easily, you can explain, reason and present logic.

most of things are good, you just need some tweaking to get 7 bands,

start reading sample 7 to 9 band essays. It will surely help you.

I face serious problems while writing on paper, so I strongly suggest everyone to practice on paper.
 

Moeedkh

Star Member
Jan 6, 2016
83
1
I said that it is poorly written because of use of word whereas. Google the word whereas and see it's uses. Basically when you use whereas you are trying to show two contrasting ideas. In your case your ideas are not contrasting per se but complimentary. That's one.

Secondly, let's read the sentences without the whereas.

You can learn about anything from a book in shortest possible time.
You just need to skim through few books to get an expert level knowledge on anything.

I think you were trying to say if you read one book you can gain some knowledge but if you read more books you can become an expert. Is my understanding correct? Atleast that is what I got from reading it.

If above is correct then use of "skim" is not ideal for your argument. Because skimming will not lead to someone becoming expert. You would probably require deep study.

Hence, from English perspective I found use of whereas not really correct for the situation. I would probably use moreover as conjunction. Something like

You can learn just about anything by reading a book in shortest possible time, moreover, reading multiple books on the topic can help you become an expert.



See I understand where you're coming from. And as I said for the message you wanted to convey concomitant was not the correct word. Also, even if you think you have given your opinion in the intro essay it is always a good idea to reinforce it when you are making detailed arguments.

And again as I have said it before essays are subjective. Same essay can be perceived differently by different people. Hence, it is a good idea that whenever you are making statements on opinion and trying to answer an essay question do it in clear words to avoid ambiguity.

And finally, unfortunately even the sentence in introduction doesn't really answer the question. The sentence just says reading books and experience exist together. So, does that mean they are equally important? Let's say you wanted to say that. But then you contradict yourself by saying experience is more important that without it you will never be an expert.

Hope this helps! Forums have an inherent disadvantage that many a times even my message to you may be lost due to limitation of writing.
Wonderful Cansha.. Your English is solid. I completely agree with your analysis now....
I've a feeling that I am on the verge of writing great essays :)
 

Moeedkh

Star Member
Jan 6, 2016
83
1
My first letter in practice ---- Can anybody evaluate ??

You should spend about 20 minutes on this task.

You would like to participate in a work-related seminar in another country. Write a letter to the person in charge of the seminar and ask for detailed information regarding the dates, program, accommodation and cost.
Write at least 150 words.

You do NOT need to write any addresses.

Begin your letter as follows


Dear Sir,

I have been nominated by my organization to attend seminar on Big data in London next month. I am writing this letter to seek further details about it.

I am particularly interested to know about the program details and topics to be discussed in seminar. I would be glad if you can share the speaker names and their profiles, so that I can learn about their area of expertise in advance for a prolific discussion. Moreover, I will be visiting London for the first time and I don’t have much idea about accommodation options and their costs. It would be kind of you if you can share some affordable accommodation options. Exact dates of event are also not communicated to me and I would like to know about them as early as possible.

I would be grateful if you can respond to me in your earliest convenience. Looking forward to hear from you soon.


Yours Truly,

AMK
 

cansha

VIP Member
Aug 1, 2018
6,676
5,855
My first letter in practice ---- Can anybody evaluate ??

You should spend about 20 minutes on this task.

You would like to participate in a work-related seminar in another country. Write a letter to the person in charge of the seminar and ask for detailed information regarding the dates, program, accommodation and cost.
Write at least 150 words.

You do NOT need to write any addresses.

Begin your letter as follows
Dear Sir,

I have been nominated by my organization to attend seminar on Big data in London next month. I am writing this letter to seek further details about it.
Very good. Setting up the letter in the very first line.

I am particularly interested to know about the program details and topics to be discussed in seminar. I would be glad if you can could share the speaker names and their profiles, so that I can learn about their area of expertise in advance for a prolific discussion. Moreover, I will be visiting London for the first time and I don’t in formal letters say do not have much idea about accommodation options and their costs. It would be kind of you if you can share some affordable accommodation options. Exact dates of event are also not communicated to me and I would like to know about them as early as possible.
Very well written

I would be grateful if you can respond to me in at your earliest convenience. Looking forward to hear from you soon.


Yours Truly,

AMK

In my opinion, this letter is definitely a high band one. The ideas are clear, concise and written well. I have made a few minor grammar suggestions for you to consider.
 
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cansha

VIP Member
Aug 1, 2018
6,676
5,855
Hi friends, I tried writing Task 2 essay. I would highly appreciate if someone can review and provide feedback comments.

Topic:
Being a celebrity - such as a famous film star or sports personality - brings problems as well as benefits.

Do you think that being a celebrity brings more benefits or more problems?
Essay:
Most of us are keen to be a famous person like a celebrity, as we are very impressed by their glamorous life.
The life of the celebrities has its own advantages as well as disadvantages.
I feel the problems associated with this profession can be minimized by following a prudent approach.
We will discuss the pros and cons that are attached to this profession, in this essay.
Let me start by saying I think this is a difficult topic and very different from the topics I have seen on IELTS. Is it from a book or someone posted this as a topic that came on exam?

Having said above, I will say the introduction barring the first line is a little weak. If you read line 2 and 4 they are the same. Isn't it. Advantages / Disadvantages ... pros / cons .

And lastly, there is a slight problem with the third line. Celebrity is a status and not a profession. Say for example a sportsperson, film star, singer all could be celebrities but all have different professions. Does that make sense to you?

The foremost advantage is the financial aspect. They earn a lot of money in a short span of their life. , that a common man cannot even imagine. Moreover, they get a lot of love and affection from the public. In some parts of India, these stars are worshipped as god. There are temples in their names. In addition, the next generation of these celebrities gets an easy platform, to start their career. Since there their parents has connects connection with an the elite class of the society like politicians, industrialists etc.
Ideas are good! Very nice! There are a few grammatical errors which I have highlighted. They are not really big but something to be careful about.
You presented two ideas Celebrities are rich. Their kids get easy life ... nice!

Unfortunately, all these benefits come with a cost. One of the major shortcomings of being famous is that one needs to forego his/her privacy. The public, as well as the media, feels as if all the information pertaining to their private like should be provided to the public. Moreover, the children of these celebrities are under a lot of pressure. Since the children of these famous people are often compared to their parents. We fail to appreciate the fact that this success is achieved after a number of years of hard work and dedication.
`
Very good first line. This links back to ideas in para 1. This is what gets you points on cohesion. Another good paragraph. Clear ideas!

In summary, every profession has its own advantages and disadvantages. This stands true for celebrities as well. However, these famous people can minimize these problems by keeping a clear demarcation between their professional and personal life. Moreover, they can sensitize their children regarding social pressures and ways to handle it. With all this, they can enjoy their successful life without much compromises.
See your body of the essay is superb! But, you have not done a good job with the intro para and the conclusion para. As I said celebrity is not a profession. Secondly, I'm not really sure that essay wants you to conclude on how celebrities should handle advantages and disadvantages. But, I don't think it is completely wrong either. As I have said before essays are subjective. So, you can ignore me on the conclusion piece.

I think if you would have nailed the introduction this would have been a high band essay. I think you are very close and can hope for more than 7 if you practice a bit more. If you can handle a topic like this you should be okay on exam. All the best!
 

Akhil Soni

Star Member
Feb 9, 2018
108
18
Hi friends,
I have attempted the exam five times and failed to get a seven in writing. Kindly scrutinize this essay so that I may know my mistakes. Thank you

Most people say that childhood and school years are best year in their lives. Why do you think people say that? Do you agree or disagree? Give your opinion.

Many people consider growing up years in the school as the best period of the life. The factors such as work pressure and family obligations associated with adult life make people think in this manner. I completely endorse this viewpoint as children have the freedom to enjoy the life completely. This essay will discuss the reasons for such a stand of people and present my viewpoint.


People think that when they enter into adult life, there are many issues such as achieving the targets at the work and fulfilling the demands of the family which create enormous pressure on the individual. In order to be successful people have to work relentlessly. This constant engagement with the work do not allow people to enjoy even small things in life. Moreover, to meet the requirements of the family members the person is compelled to work out of his skin. Therefore, these compulsions and duties often lead to sufferings and mental agony.

These mental harassments associated with adult life make people believe childhood time to be the best period in life. I acknowledge this viewpoint because of the following reasons. Firstly, in the growing stage of the life there are no responsibilities except to study. Children have ample opportunities to enjoy every moment of life. They have the leeway to play and seek entertainment with peers which unfortunately becomes a rarity when one becomes mature. Secondly, children can commit mistakes without any repercussions. Also, they enjoy the protection and support of their elders in such circumstances but when a child becomes adult, he is answerable for his deeds.

In conclusion, people are justified in believing that growing years is the best period in life for the reasons illustrated above in the essay.
 
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