Hi Dair,
I'm sorry you are having a hard time right now. I think you already know that none of us can tell you anything more than you already know. No one here can say if your husband is an honest man, a complete scammer or one of the other million shades of gray in between.
I do know this. Marriages between Moroccan men and Canadian women are primed for failure. Putting MOC's aside completely, there are so so so many cultural differences that you haven't even thought of. Or worse, you HAVE thought of them, talked about them and THINK you have come to an understanding...but guess what? - you haven't.
Brushing everyone with a broad stroke - Canadians and Moroccans alike - how Moroccans and Canadians view the world is FUNDAMENTALLY different. Yes you both may value family. But what that means to you and what that means to him are likely two REALLY different things. And how that plays out in your marriage is anyone's guess. That goes FOR EVERYTHING - from division of labour, to how you spend your money, to who makes decisions and why decisions are made, EVERY little thing under the sun will need to be renegotiated.
For all of you waiting - if you think this is hard now....wait until he gets here. Honestly. My husband and I have been married for almost 8 years now. And I tell you it does not get much easier.
I know there are some success stories out there - but I promise you they had to work harder than anyone can imagine, and for many of us - it's still anyone's guess. I don't really believe in happily ever after...maybe that makes me bitter. Ok I know it does.
Sorry - I know that got a little off topic - back to that:
Dair - you need to be straight with your husband. Cut the romance, cut the lovey dovey. Give it to him straight. Explain that you are in it this far because you love him and think you two might really have a future together. Let him know that if things don't work out for the two of you, that yeah it will suck and you'll be crushed, but you can accept it.
What you won't be able to accept is if he turns around and eff's things up for you and your daughter by going on welfare. Explain very clearly, that if he abuses your sponsorship he'll be DESTROYING not only you, but your beatiful child. If he takes the conversation well, it maybe a good time to half jokingly remind him that you know where his family lives and would have no problem going there and making sure all his family and neighbour new what a snake and a loser he was for ruining yours and your daughters life. JK (kind of) LOL.
Locolynn
