Sponsored wife cheated on me what to do

[blazinhassan]

Hi all, here is my horror story, my wife sponsored me 2 years ago, within canada. I got my PR card on December 11 2013. I thought everything was fine between me and my wife. Until Feb 4th when she left to live with her dad. I found out she had been in contact with her EX bf as well when she told me. Jan 24th was our 2 year anniversary and it was perfect.

Anyway, she left, she started smoking weed and was a roller coaster, she wanted some time etc etc and i gave her all the time she needed. Between all this she was partying etc, i never said anything. During this time she came home 3 times and we had sex. April 3rd we had EX and she told me she was coming home next week. Next day (friday) she goes to party with friends and doesn't talk to me until sunday. I guess i had a feeling something happened. she admitted to do M, and going home with her sex who was there and admitted she committed adultery. call me stupid, i guess i was trying to save my marriage. but i could never be with a cheater.

Now, until then i tried my best to save our marriage and waited and waited it was hell, emotionally, financially and physically. probably lost over 20 pounds. Never once i yelled or say anything when she was admitting of cheating. I came home after she told me, and told her mother and brothers. They were pissed off at her. Next Tuesday me and her brother moved all of her stuff to where she is living with her dad.

I do have a condition on my PR stating that we have to be married for 2 years. All i see online is that i can ask for an exception. Based on my circumstances does anyone know what the route is to having that exception revoked. how do i go about this? im in the process of filing for divorce next week on basis of adultery. she has also admitted to be in contacts with other guys too, and admitted of cheating in text message as well. its really messed up i dont know how iv kept sane during this. Our marriage was legit, everyone knows it.

Help?
thanks

 

[QuebecOkie]

Condition 51 states that you not only have to stay married, but also live with your sponsor in a conjugal relationship for at least 2 years after obtaining PR status. The conditional PR is relatively new, and no one really knows yet how CIC is going to handle cases where the condition isn't met. I believe there's a clause about abuse, but not sure infidelity counts as abuse.

I'm very sorry this is happening to you. Something like this is heart-breaking and life-shattering enough without the additional stress of immigration limbo.

 

[screech339]

As unfortunate you are in, I think your best bet is hope that your ex doesn't report to CIC that the marriage ended for the next 2 years.

 

[blazinhassan]

I was thinking of giving them a call my self, there is a number written there where it says if you are in form of any abuse or neglect etc you can get out of the condition.

i mean shes been gone since feb 4th, and its not been easy, every day waking up to a different side of her. one day shes comin home, next day she isnt..then finally she cheats..lingers me on 2 months..and suddenly decides to cheat.

im serving her the docs next month, i cant stand to be married to a cheater for another second.

 

[Obronibini]

As unfortunate you are in, I think your best bet is hope that your ex doesn't report to CIC that the marriage ended for the next 2 years.

wow sorry about that , try to stay strong as you can , losing that much weight may not be healthy . I am sure the seniors here will give you good responds .

 

[screech339]

I was thinking of giving them a call my self, there is a number written there where it says if you are in form of any abuse or neglect etc you can get out of the condition.

i mean shes been gone since feb 4th, and its not been easy, every day waking up to a different side of her. one day shes comin home, next day she isnt..then finally she cheats..lingers me on 2 months..and suddenly decides to cheat.

im serving her the docs next month, i cant stand to be married to a cheater for another second.

I don't think adultery qualify as abuse to get yourself out of the condition. You are at a serious disadvantage with your ex.

 

[blazinhassan]

its not fair to what iv been through i left usa to come here for her.. every marriage has its ups or downs that a part of it and you work on it.. but she just gave up.. things werent even bad at all.. i dont know what to say or do..who to contact.. from myside my marriage was in good faith. what do i do? should i serve her the papers or should i wait?

 

[Obronibini]

its not fair to what iv been through i left usa to come here for her.. every marriage has its ups or downs that a part of it and you work on it.. but she just gave up.. things werent even bad at all.. i dont know what to say or do..who to contact.. from myside my marriage was in good faith. what do i do? should i serve her the papers or should i wait?

if your mind is made up then you should go ahead , if you think you can give her a second chance and try again ( I doubt you will) then wait and think it true , if you want to remain in Canada you should talk to a lawyer to find out how to go about things . Then serve her

 

[jomz]

I don't think adultery qualify as abuse to get yourself out of the condition. You are at a serious disadvantage with your ex.

Based on the OP on the Conditional PR, any abuse, physical or emotional qualifies as abuse.

http://www.cic.gc.ca/english/resources/manuals/bulletins/2012/ob480.asp

 

[screech339]

Based on the OP on the Conditional PR, any abuse, physical or emotional qualifies as abuse.

http://www.cic.gc.ca/english/resources/manuals/bulletins/2012/ob480.asp

I am sure CIC has exemption to the rule such as sponsor cheating on the applicant.

 

[steerpike]

Start gathering all your evidence against her.

If you want to return to your home country then i guess that is the easiest option. But you don't seem to want to do that.

You might want to consider not filing for divorce, and try to squeeze thru the condition 51 (1 more year?) without CIC noticing. No one has any idea how likely this is, or how closely they will be enforcing it. Its seems like CIC didn't have the manpower to go after all the cases of fraud that were reported even before condition 51. Now cond 51 is going to generate a lot more cases, but has the government thought ahead? LOL i doubt it.

If you want to keep your PR I would lay low, hold off on the divorce and hope the cond 51 doesn't bite you in the ass. Then when the 2 years has expired, file for divorce. But be ready with your evidence in case they do try to bring cond 51 against you.

 

[blazinhassan]

From what I have read. Canada doesn't tolerate any form of abuse.

In my mind cheating or infidelity is an abuse to me since it was her ex boyfriend. Iv not don't anything wrong. Till the last day I had was in this marriage. Who can live with someone who cheated? I can't. She made her choice.

Me on the other hand with the emotional roller coaster of her coming home. Praying and hoping

She's on drugs as well, weed and god know what else. Her family even knows what she did was wrong.

It's unfortunate I hope it doesn't happen to anyone. I never thought it would to me. I always read stories. But hey now I'm one too.

I tried everything to save this marriage, she didn't. She wanted other things.

Anyway keep ur reply a coming. Thanks. I just hope it doesn't interfere with my pr. I'm a working guy, can't see my life anywhere but Canada.

 

[jomz]

We hear about a lot of cases where the sponsor says "if you do this or that or dont do this or that.....i will report you to CIC and deport you etc." This is considered to be a pattern of coercive or controlling behaviour. And in case of the Conditional PR, before CIC will make any steps to removal they will investigate, if they find the sponsor left the sponsored person, and displays negative behaviour, abuses alcohol or drugs, I think* CIC would not pursue deportation of the sponsored spouse. Right now as the condition is so new there is no certainty what CIC's ruling would be in the end.

Wishing the OP he can overcome this, it is definitely not a nice situation to be in.

 

[blazinhassan]

She did threaten me, her dad as well. They both are pot heads now.

I have all evidence of her admitting to cheating. Written in words. Iv done nothing wrong here I believe cic will listen to me and give me a break.

I wouldn't wanna take that route of waiting it out. Now that makes me look suspicious. And I don't want to do anything illegal. The exception is there I believe for people in my boat. Who comes forward..

 

[Obronibini]

Start gathering all your evidence against her.

If you want to return to your home country then i guess that is the easiest option. But you don't seem to want to do that.

You might want to consider not filing for divorce, and try to squeeze thru the condition 51 (1 more year?) without CIC noticing. No one has any idea how likely this is, or how closely they will be enforcing it. Its seems like CIC didn't have the manpower to go after all the cases of fraud that were reported even before condition 51. Now cond 51 is going to generate a lot more cases, but has the government thought ahead? LOL i doubt it.

If you want to keep your PR I would lay low, hold off on the divorce and hope the cond 51 doesn't bite you in the ass. Then when the 2 years has expired, file for divorce. But be ready with your evidence in case they do try to bring cond 51 against you.

won't they say he deliberately took long to remain in Canada ? It begetter when it fresh lol don't you think ? I think he should report it now then wait a bit to finalize the divorce , not complaining abt it now and waiting too long seem some way