Text of the petition is perfect. I think there is no need to change it.
This collective appeal wil put more pressure on the CIC than individual ones. They must be aware of the fact that all of us know about their progress through this forum. There is no offence to the privacy policy of immigration even if we share the complete details including e mails, tel numbers, addresses. Most of us not even sharing our names. According to CIC privacy policy only they can voilate the privacy by sharing our details with other individuals.
http://www.cic.gc.ca/english/notices.asp
Language used in the petition is not at all offensive but more effective.
Once again I request the applicants to sign the petition. This is another way to keep pressure on them. If we withdraw thrust they will forget us. People have tried the individual request but all they are trying to pose is that they are too busy in verifying our papers and there is too much volume of work. Depending upon the avaiable resources CHC London can process 200 applications per day easily