My wife(sponsor) wants divorce me a month after I landed

[chipits]

As a young person who GREW UP in Canada, it's almost impossible for youth to find a job these days. I'm lucky that I have one, but most of my friends are either unemployed or in dead-end jobs despite having university degrees, I can't imagine how much more difficult it would be for young new immigrants to find something that would allow them to actually pay the bills.

 

[Habibti]

As a young person who GREW UP in Canada, it's almost impossible for youth to find a job these days. I'm lucky that I have one, but most of my friends are either unemployed or in dead-end jobs despite having university degrees, I can't imagine how much more difficult it would be for young new immigrants to find something that would allow them to actually pay the bills.

I agree. My husband is 29 and he landed 3 months ago. In total, he worked 21 days, different little jobs. It is very hard to find regular employment. Most of the employers ask for a BC driver's licence or to have own transportation. They also ask for experience and other things that my husband does not have! So, last night he decided to go to college to have some sort of Canadian certification.

These two young people cannot move out and live on their own in a short time! They have to find a good job and save money until they have enough to find an apartment and buy everything that is needed.

 

[steerpike]

As a young person who GREW UP in Canada, it's almost impossible for youth to find a job these days. I'm lucky that I have one, but most of my friends are either unemployed or in dead-end jobs despite having university degrees, I can't imagine how much more difficult it would be for young new immigrants to find something that would allow them to actually pay the bills.

Very true. As a Canadian born and raised in Vancouver, despite years and years of trying, my first full time job was when i moved to Japan (I was 25).

Canada has a lot of nepotism in the job industry. It's all about who you know, especially in Vancouver.

 

[CdnandTrini]

Reply: My wife(sponsor) wants divorce me a month after I landed

Hi:

I landed with my dependents(son 21 years old and daughter 20 years old) about a month ago, we were sponsored by my wife. Last Sunday I came home with my dependents after we went out to have lunch, my wife(sponsor) was waiting for us, very angry (I never saw her to behave like that before) and told me that she wanted to divorce me, the reasons:
-Because she doesn't get alone with my dependents.
-She still loves me but doesn't want to live in a bad situation with my dependents.
-She also told me that she doesn't want to be hypocrite with me, by loving me and not loving my children.


She throw me out of her apartment and told me that I had to buy a flight ticket and return to me home country. And kind of threatened me by telling me that as soon the PR cards arrive at her place she will destroy them and that she will contact CIC to get the sponsorship agreement cancelled.

Then I didn't have a place to go, so I called the only friend or people of confidence I have in Canada, and stayed with my children at his house for one day. Because I was heartbroken and I didn't know what to do, I was feeling very sad, I came back to my country. Hoping that she would rethink what she is doing.

Will I have problems with Immigration-Get deported- or denied entry to Canada if I divorce my wife?
I still love her and want to return to Canada to try to fix things with her. I still have with me my COPR, my SIN and passport and immigrant visa.

Hello @josedavids, sorry to hear what a rough time you and your family are having. It sounds like a lot of initial growing pains and even though your wife knew you and your kids (her step-children) before marrying you (so it is a package deal) the fear and anxiety of reality can rear its ugy head. The fact that you have both still expressed love for each other is good and that may end up saving your marriage. If she has never had children, it is a HUGE responsibility to take on - even though they are young adults - all of your lives have changed dramatically with this new "adventure" ;D. Each of you needs support and during a crisis it may need to come from external resources.

Is it possible that you can get into some good marraaige counselling with someone who is familiar with the pressures of immigration and a blended family? My husband and I do online SKYPE counselling with my pastor and his wife when we hit a rough patch - it is actually normal to feel overwhelmed and emotional and make rash decisions under such stress. I will pray for you and your family to re-unite and be supported by many during this season of life. Blessings.

 

[papirico]

Since you successfully landed, you are legally a Canadian Permanent Resident.
The sponsor signed and agreement with you and CIC for 3 years where she is financially responsible for you (that's why it's called a sponsor). She clearly hasn't met those obligations and you didn't need to leave the country.
She also doesn't have any right to destroy your PR cards, they are property of CIC and are under your name.
You can come back anytime but will need a travel document from your Canadian visa office abroad. COPR is not enough.
What you would need to do then is to get a job and your dependents too who are of an age where they can also get one as well or stay behind temporarily while you get started.

 

[spaceraceone]

Wow, this is... this is just crazy. Well, what I want to ask is were there ANY OTHER problems other than having to live with children???
She knew who she was about to sponsor, right? She knew that there were two other people coming to Canada? She acts like she didn't.

If you guys showed up and said that now we're all going to be one big family, than - yeah - I would be stressed too (I'd behave myself better that's for sure) - it is not the easiest living arrangement, but frankly speaking kids are young people now - it's hard but not impossible and I know that from the experience. They'll need to adjust sooner or later, and I hope your plan is once the jobs are found to find some personal space for them, as well.

If the situation is temporary and she just cannot handle it or doesn't want to - than, I am very sorry for you, man, but forget that woman and convince yourself you do not love her.

 

[mexicanada]

I was wondering the same thing. How was the relationship with your wife and your 2 children before they came to Canada?? Either way you and your children should return and enjoy your new life in Canada! ;D

 

[Ttcdfolk]

They landed a month ago....you expect these young adults to find job and housing in a new country just like that? Wife needs to stop being selfish and at least give the kids a chance to settle down, and then they can move out. Young people need support to, or they usually end up ruining their lives.

Man I did in China, Japan, Korea, and Thailand so ya.

 

[Ttcdfolk]

As a young person who GREW UP in Canada, it's almost impossible for youth to find a job these days. I'm lucky that I have one, but most of my friends are either unemployed or in dead-end jobs despite having university degrees, I can't imagine how much more difficult it would be for young new immigrants to find something that would allow them to actually pay the bills.

Become a tradesman.

 

[chipits]

Man I did in China, Japan, Korea, and Thailand so ya.

Yeah gee those countries are exactly the same as Canada and not known at all for having a very low cost of living compared to western countries, I'm sure you can extrapolate the very experiences you had to the realistic opportunities for young people in Canada at the moment.

 

[Ttcdfolk]

Yeah gee those countries are exactly the same as Canada and not known at all for having a very low cost of living compared to western countries, I'm sure you can extrapolate the very experiences you had to the realistic opportunities for young people in Canada at the moment.

Japan and Korea low cost of living your going to need to get out of the country. Seoul and Tokyo are two of the most expensive cities in the world to live in.

 

[CanadianJeepGuy]

Man I did in China, Japan, Korea, and Thailand so ya.

So why don't you go move in with this guy's wife Superman?

 

[Ttcdfolk]

So why don't you go move in with this guy's wife Superman?

Have you ever thought why yours is taking so long, maybe these sarcastic remarks might shed some light on it.

 

[josedavids]

Thank all of you for your advices. Yes, my wife went a couple of times to my home country and stayed with me and my family, parents, cousins, siblings, etc, and she knew how my children behave. That is why I am surprised she took this decition before talking to me about this matter. I am now waiting for the PR Cards to arrive at her house, and wait for her to send them to me. She has told me that as soon she gets the cards she will send them to me.

But she is repeating me that the main reason she wants a divorce is because my children! I dont know whats happening to her. The couple of weeks we stayed at her place, yes my children argued with her a couple of times the first week, the next ones they didnt have any problem.

Also we talked about living in a near future without my children, they were gonna get a place for themselves. But give me a break, a new country, new language, mixed feelings like feeling a little homesick etc, this was new for everyone of us. Also she doesnt have children, and most of the time she has lived by herself. We planned a lot of things in our marriage to do in a near future. Thats why I want to return to Canada, to talk to her and continue our marriage, because I love her.

 

[CanadianJeepGuy]

Have you ever thought why yours is taking so long, maybe these sarcastic remarks might shed some light on it.

So if you are my Immigration officer why don't you get off this site and go work on my application. Then I have no need to be sarcastic.