morning everyone~ glad ot hear things are moving along for many...
dont always like coming in here with the barer of blahhh...but im so disappointed, and annoyed wher ei feel to kick and scream and just never go back to Jamaica.
my husband went to 2 parties, within 2 weeks...which he called me from, but yet still tried to hide the fact he was at one...but after im not an effing idiot, i know the difference between live sound, and stereo play...anyhow...he admitted tht yes he went, and its not that big of a deal but true he didnt want to tell me cause he knew id cuss (which is true) however....that is besides the point. I was angry with him for 4 days...not just at the fact he went, and tried to play as though he didnt, but i was upset at the fact its still a lie....the only thing i have to rely on when im here in canada...is the truth, is his word, is trusting blindly....
anyhow....he tried to tell me he was going to a deadyard over the weekend...im like alright whatever...yes he called me, stayed no the phone nothing new...but i came off and simply went to bed not thinking nothing of it....
LOW and behold...i check FB yesterday to see his Cousin with a pic of herself at the party....and whose in the back ground, busting a sweat in the dance...MY HUSBAND. Seeing is believing theres no denying it...u wanna tell me you were still at a deadyard now??
anyhow...from the beginning i told him, once of my requests were for him to keep his ass out of the parties, until i am down there...I understand many do not have an issue with this, but i do....i really do.
To make a long story short....i have a hard enough time trusting ppl as is, and i feel he broke that...and knowing how upset i was the first time he broke it again.
i do love him....and yes obviously i know he loves me...and yes i am slightly responsible for cornering him in a situation where its just easier to lie...but u know what....maybe it would be best if i just withdrew my application...after all...he seems to still be able to have the time of his life while he is there....and without me. So right now...im feeling feelings are not mutual...i dont feel comfortable...and i sure as hell know living like this wont work for however long it takes...
TRUST and Honesty....at the end of the day...thats all i had...and now i cant even be sure i have that..
Im one of those i wouldnt keep a liar as a friend..so why the hell would i keep a liar for a man.
You know...id like to pretend ya everything 110%...blah blah blah....so its with hurt and humility that vent...cause at least i can be certain it will stay in here.
This type of *censored word* makes me want to give revenge and go out and have the time of my life, which i know wouldnt be fun and bruk out.
I refuse to have his district, or his family see me getting lied to...or have everyone know what is going on in my husbands life, but obviously myself....and then go walk around down there feeling like were unstoppable....thats how i used to feel....not any more.
