just a background: 4 years ago, i met my husband/sponsor while i was a temporary worker in canada. his family conspired to get me arrested for false criminal allegations as an effort to end our relationship. i lost my worker's permit. the judge dropped the charges a year later. i continued pursuing my husband despite discouragement from the police, the DA, my family and basically every stranger i speak to about it. people ceaselessly say this relationship will never work.
anyway, my husband and i eloped. we rented an apartment and hid from everyone because everyone's against the marriage. since i had no legal status in canada i decided to go back home to do the outland spousal sponsorship application. 2 years later i got in and my husband doesn't have a job so he made me stay at his parents' home. i didnt want to due to common sense, but he kept tellin me how the reason why i dont want to must be because i want to leave him the moment i step into Canada. which is totally not the case!!! he was also saying how his siblings and friends have all the luxury...and he wants to save money by living at hisparents so he can keep up with that. im really uninterested with that because i was raised with simple standards, but he keeps coming up with reasons to live at his parents'.
after a few days of niceness, my mother in law started nitpicking my every move. she said i don't wash enough dishes, i'm mixing up the pots with the pans, i spray on too mcuh perfume, and all those petty stuff. every week, i even cleaned the bathroom. i did all the dishes consistently as well... her house is actually so messy to think she's a plain house wife.
my husband took back $100 rent from his parents so they started hiding the food and bottled water. i was concerned about her cause she's isolated and maybe that's why it's affecting her attitude so one day i asked her if she wanted my free pass at Goodlife so she can do activities with other people, like by takin zumba classes, and she totally took that chance to cause a fight. I kept asking her why she took offense in that and she kept evading the question and she just went crazy... She just really wanted a reason to kick us out.
SO we left.
My husband doesn't have a job. He's been slacking, making all sorts of reason not to work. He wants a job where he can do nothing and just use his phone. When his car breaks down, he refuses to take the bus. Last time his motor died, my parents gave him money to replace it, and he bought a new car with the money instead. He is too picky. Right now my parents from the Philippines are sending me money and they gave me a few $1000's for startup money in case sh*t hits the fan.
I've been here for not even 3 weeks and I already have a job....and I'm looking to do another part-time because my husband has expensive needs... He doesn't wanna rent a basement, he wants an apartment, which right now we're not even qualified for... I need to find a good career someday because he has unrealistic wants. I don't even know how I'll survive because I'm mentally and physically tired... Without his aunt, I'll be so hungry and thirsty. So right now we're slumming it up at his aunt's house, who has always been a reasonable and understanding relative.
Now, I love my husband despite his inability to be a normal human being, but I can't really do my thing right now because he's getting in the way of my decisions...In the past 4 years all the major decisions in our life were all made by him. He's 22 years old... Yes, I'm retarded for letting him be the primary decision maker, but I didn't have status, no money and he guilt trips me like crazy...
What do I do right now? I'm tired of slumming it up because he can't provide for me and he keeps putting me in risky situations. I'm sick of it. What am I gonna do? Like I think he's sufering from depression or something cause he has no motivation to do anything and he feels tired even when he does is nothing. He shouts like hell and curses so much when I try to bring up something about his behaviour, job, money or whatever. Like this sucks man and there's a condition on my PR saying I have to cohabitate with him, but he cant even affordwhere he wants to live and he doesnt wanna work or anything and I want to be left alone right now because thats the best way I can save money because I dont have expensive needs.
