irresponsible spouse/sponsor

[zardoz]

oh but all this is...quote
where there is a pattern of coercive or controlling behaviour, which can include, but is not limited to insults, intimidation, humiliation, harassment or threats, name-calling, yelling, blaming, shaming, ridiculing, disrespecting, and criticising;

and most of this is an obvious result of cheating

You are, as we say, "clutching at straws". If IRCC had considered marital infidelity or "cheating" to be abuse in it's own right, they would have said that in BIG LETTERS. They haven't.

 

[Rob_TO]

cheating is considered a form of abuse because it can do severe damage to the other person as well it ruins trust and often entails lies, and neglect.

I think you're missing the point that the person posting here is the Canadian sponsor. So whether there is an abuse allegation against the cheater PR is completely irrelevant.

And cheating will most likely NOT be seen as abuse in any cases where the sponsor cheated on the PR.

 

[mikeymyke]

Not to make light of cheating, but it is possible to cheat on someone without insulting, intimidating, yelling, etc your spouse. If infidelity was something that could protect the applicant, then it would've been clearly listed in that list zardoz posted. I agree that cheating is pretty devastating regardless if you're married or just dating, but unfortunately it's just not considered serious enough to be called "abuse".

I think maybe there's just too much room for misinterpretation when it comes to infidelity. For example, what if the sponsor just had too much to drink and slept with another drunk girl? Would that be considered the same type of abuse as a sponsor who deliberately goes out and cheats with a bunch of women? Or would it be considered not abuse because the sponsor was just drunk and didnt know what he was doing? Or what if he's just chatting with women online as friends, but the spouse wrongly assumes its cheating? What if the sponsor likes to spend a lot of time at his female friend's house and the applicant takes photographic evidence of him going into her house? She thinks its cheating, but maybe the guy's friend is just a long time best friend and wants to hang out. Examples like these are prone to misinterpretation.

But for something like physical abuse, there's scars and injuries. Financial and emotional abuse, there's evidence or witness statements. There's no grey area, it's clearly black or white.

 

[soblue3]

I think you're missing the point that the person posting here is the Canadian sponsor. So whether there is an abuse allegation against the cheater PR is completely irrelevant.

And cheating will most likely NOT be seen as abuse in any cases where the sponsor cheated on the PR.

i dont think so thats why i wrote "under fear of being responsible for the other for 3 years". In addition the person who started this thread was being sponsored..plus it does not matter as this is a general issue which applies to both sides.

 

[soblue3]

Not to make light of cheating, but it is possible to cheat on someone without insulting, intimidating, yelling, etc your spouse. If infidelity was something that could protect the applicant, then it would've been clearly listed in that list zardoz posted. I agree that cheating is pretty devastating regardless if you're married or just dating, but unfortunately it's just not considered serious enough to be called "abuse".

I think maybe there's just too much room for misinterpretation when it comes to infidelity. For example, what if the sponsor just had too much to drink and slept with another drunk girl? Would that be considered the same type of abuse as a sponsor who deliberately goes out and cheats with a bunch of women? Or would it be considered not abuse because the sponsor was just drunk and didnt know what he was doing? Or what if he's just chatting with women online as friends, but the spouse wrongly assumes its cheating? Examples like these are prone to misinterpretation.

But for something like physical abuse, there's scars and injuries. Financial and emotional abuse, there's evidence or witness statements. There's no grey area, it's clearly black or white.

well Mike ...it maybe a gray area but cic questions people about the "love" part and all that goes with it. I really hope your theory on this will not be tested. However if you do have an open relationship and both of you agree that sleeping with other people is fine then that of course is your business. it all boils down to the the damage any of the partners endures in the end. cic expects intimacy from loving genuine couples. as you are well aware when you read the appeal sections. and things are never black and white even in science...lol..specially at the highest levels. imagine going to an interview and honestly stating you are having affairs or one night stands or whatever? lol..and saying that you genuinely love your wife? you think that would fly? well good luck to anybody who tires. and lying is misrepresentation in it self and cic hates that even more.

 

[canuck_in_uk]

the fact that some of you are even suggesting that cheating is not harmful (and any harmful behaviour is abuse of some sort) makes me wonder if you are a cheater or planning to cheat and hoping your spouse just puts up with that under a fear of having to be responsible for you for 3 years or being thrown out of the country.
on top of that you are writing in a spousal sponsorship section..you were able to sponsor a person why? because marriage was genuine and you married each other for love...yes? and you think cic will think that cheating is an expression of genuine relationship and will not act on that? omg wake up

Lol, ridiculous.

No one said that cheating wasn't harmful. We said it wasn't ABUSE. Big difference. You wake the eff up and stop posting ridiculously stupid things like that.

 

[profiler]

I wonder if erroneously claiming abuse is actually a form of psychological and emotional abuse.

 

[soblue3]

I wonder if erroneously claiming abuse is actually a form of psychological and emotional abuse.

lol you could be right be i am talking about cases where there is proof. proof is everything so make sure you dont get caught.

 

[zardoz]

oh but all this is...quote
where there is a pattern of coercive or controlling behaviour, which can include, but is not limited to insults, intimidation, humiliation, harassment or threats, name-calling, yelling, blaming, shaming, ridiculing, disrespecting, and criticising;

and most of this is an obvious result of cheating ohh...and dont forget neglect..you can find the definition of that on your own link...such compulsive behaviour also can expose the partner to stds...or even just risk of them. irresponsible, uncaring selfish behaviour. the fact that some of you are even suggesting that cheating is not harmful (and any harmful behaviour is abuse of some sort) makes me wonder if you are a cheater or planning to cheat and hoping your spouse just puts up with that under a fear of having to be responsible for you for 3 years or being thrown out of the country.
on top of that you are writing in a spousal sponsorship section..you were able to sponsor a person why? because marriage was genuine and you married each other for love...yes? and you think cic will think that cheating is an expression of genuine relationship and will not act on that? omg wake up

Now, you are really pushing your luck... Be very careful what you say...

 

[soblue3]

Lol, ridiculous.

No one said that cheating wasn't harmful. We said it wasn't ABUSE. Big difference. You wake the eff up and stop posting ridiculously stupid things like that.

harmful = abuse...you wake yourself up. and all you can do here is use words like stupid? ...lol..also better not use that word with your partner too much because that is also abuse...it says right there humiliating, belittling and all that. i am not going to tell you what i think of your comments because i am not an abuser lol.

 

[soblue3]

Now, you are really pushing your luck... Be very careful what you say...

oh threatening me? i think you need to take your own advice ..your attitude will catch up with you...the only ones who have to watch out are the ones hiding something, hurting others and lying.

 

[profiler]

oh threatening me? i think you need to take your own advice ..your attitude will catch up with you...the only ones who have to watch out are the ones hiding something, hurting others and lying.

You seem reasonably educated. I wish to share some education with you: http://www.cbabc.org/For-the-Public/Dial-A-Law/Scripts/Your-Rights/240

I don't think there was a treat at all.

 

[COPRQuestion]

Well all I can say is that this is probably the most entertaining thread I've read here so far. What amuses me even more is that the OP has disappeared and left everyone else to argue away.

Can't help but wonder if that was the original intention, but either way a thoroughly distracting topic to read through on this dark, rainy Friday afternoon in Hong Kong.

I would have to wonder if it was the other way round and I was 7 years older than my wife and she had just finished high school and her parents had had me locked up, I'd probably see that as a sign it wasn't meant to be and perhaps retire gracefully from the situation.

One thing I do agree with the OP on is that I also am not a massive fan of the new Philippine President

 

[soblue3]

You seem reasonably educated. I wish to share some education with you: http://www.cbabc.org/For-the-Public/Dial-A-Law/Scripts/Your-Rights/240

I don't think there was a treat at all.

how convenient of you to again half read what i wrote...you know that part about proof?

 

[profiler]

how convenient of you to again half read what i wrote...you know that part about proof?

Actually, I read the whole painful stream of statements you have made. More than once in the last hour you have posted several slanderous statements.