irresponsible spouse/sponsor

[Omegabyte]

Ok so my partner that I sponsored is cheating over the Internet with multiple people, I feel like I have to put up with it cause I'm his sponsor. Is there any advise? He's sending them nudes as well as talking dirty with them.

Very sorry you have that going on in your relationship, but the prior poster's are correct:

1) Although infidelity is emotionally painful, it isn't abuse.

2) You made a contract with the Canadian gov't to support this person for 3 years. Even if they leave, you're probably still on the hook.

3) This forum isn't about the drama. Although I can only speak for myself, and I'm truly sorry you found out who you married isn't who you thought they were, this isn't the place to keep talking about this. Please find a counselor, or consult an immigration professional if you need further guidance.

Good luck...

 

[Rob_TO]

Ok so my partner that I sponsored is cheating over the Internet with multiple people, I feel like I have to put up with it cause I'm his sponsor. Is there any advise? He's sending them nudes as well as talking dirty with them.

You have no obligation whatsoever to remain in the relationship. You have every right to break up with your partner if you want to.

If he is under conditional PR (Condition 51 printed on his COPR), then after breaking up you can inform CIC and there is a good chance his PR status will be revoked if it's still during initial 2 years from landing.

 

[Omegabyte]

You have no obligation whatsoever to remain in the relationship. You have every right to break up with your partner if you want to.

The only obligation she would have is the undertaking she agreed to for 3 years. If he ended up on welfare after the split, wouldn't she as sponsor be obligated to repay the welfare?

If he is under conditional PR (Condition 51 printed on his COPR), then after breaking up you can inform CIC and there is a good chance his PR status will be revoked if it's still during initial 2 years from landing.

Hopefully. If they did revoke PR, that would remove the undertaking, yes?

 

[Rob_TO]

The only obligation she would have is the undertaking she agreed to for 3 years. If he ended up on welfare after the split, wouldn't she as sponsor be obligated to repay the welfare?

Only if he didn't have PR status revoked under conditional PR rules. Once PR is revoked, the undertaking is over.

 

[soblue3]

Ok so my partner that I sponsored is cheating over the Internet with multiple people, I feel like I have to put up with it cause I'm his sponsor. Is there any advise? He's sending them nudes as well as talking dirty with them.


cheating is considered a form of abuse because it can do severe damage to the other person as well it ruins trust and often entails lies, and neglect. the cheater is not concerning himself with hurting his partner who is often left hurt, can develop anxiety, worries and ends up having their sense of self worth damaged. as we all know cheating is a great reason for divorce. If you can prove it you should see if its possible to tell him to get out and get him deported. Does your time frame fits withing the conditional 2 years? Really it is not worth staying with a cheater or abuser. i have not met one person ever who has experienced a cheating partner and has not suffered. also, cheaters are usually emotionally not available and in in relationships emotional availability is a must there for it is considered a form of abuse because of the resulting harm and the other abusive behaviours that in general go together with cheating..like i mentioned before lying, trying to gaslight, making the other person feel crazy and question their sanity, blaming themselves for actions of others.
here is also one definition of psychological abuse
Psychological abuse (also referred to as psychological violence, emotional abuse or mental abuse) is a form of abuse, characterized by a person subjecting, or exposing, another person to behavior that may result in psychological trauma, including anxiety, chronic depression, or post-traumatic stress disorder.[1][2][3] Such abuse is often associated with situations of power imbalance, such as abusive relationships, bullying, gaslighting and abuse in the workplace

 

[canuck_in_uk]

cheating is considered a form of abuse because it can do severe damage to the other person as well it ruins trust and often entails lies, and neglect. the cheater is not concerning himself with hurting his partner who is often left hurt, can develop anxiety, worries and ends up having their sense of self worth damaged. as we all know cheating is a great reason for divorce. If you can prove it you should see if its possible to tell him to get out and get him deported. Does your time frame fits withing the conditional 2 years? Really it is not worth staying with a cheater or abuser. i have not met one person ever who has experienced a cheating partner and has not suffered. also, cheaters are usually emotionally not available and in in relationships emotional availability is a must there for it is considered a form of abuse because of the resulting harm and the other abusive behaviours that in general go together with cheating..like i mentioned before lying, trying to gaslight, making the other person feel crazy and question their sanity, blaming themselves for actions of others.
here is also one definition of psychological abuse
Psychological abuse (also referred to as psychological violence, emotional abuse or mental abuse) is a form of abuse, characterized by a person subjecting, or exposing, another person to behavior that may result in psychological trauma, including anxiety, chronic depression, or post-traumatic stress disorder.[1][2][3] Such abuse is often associated with situations of power imbalance, such as abusive relationships, bullying, gaslighting and abuse in the workplace

Being cheated on, especially in this situation where it's "online cheating", does not qualify as being abused. Regardless, Syndney is the sponsor, so there is no need to prove abuse. She or he can leave the relationship and inform IRCC; if Condition 51 applies, IRCC will decide whether to take action against the spouse.

 

[Omegabyte]

Being cheated on, especially in this situation where it's "online cheating", does not qualify as being abused. Regardless, Syndney is the sponsor, so there is no need to prove abuse. She or he can leave the relationship and inform IRCC; if Condition 51 applies, IRCC will decide whether to take action against the spouse.

+1

 

[soblue3]

Being cheated on, especially in this situation where it's "online cheating", does not qualify as being abused. Regardless, Syndney is the sponsor, so there is no need to prove abuse. She or he can leave the relationship and inform IRCC; if Condition 51 applies, IRCC will decide whether to take action against the spouse.

To any person on this forum,
Please if you are suffering in a relationship by the hands of your partner you are being abused. We have laws in this country which protect you. Abusive people often use all sort of excuses for their unacceptable behaviours. Pain, humiliation, suffering at the hands of another person = abuse.

 

[profiler]

I have silently read this thread. While yes it is sad, outside of the Condition 51 or sponsorship related questions, it shouldn't be here.

To any person on this forum,
Please if you are suffering in a relationship by the hands of your partner you are being abused. We have laws in this country which protect you. Abusive people often use all sort of excuses for their unacceptable behaviours. Pain, humiliation, suffering at the hands of another person = abuse.

I disagree here. Relationships breakdown. When they do, both sides end up hurt, and lashing out at each other. This is not the same thing as persistently and aggressively engaging in a campaign to hurt or degrade another person.

You cannot just throw around accusations of abuse. In fact, in this country, unfounded accusations are known as Slander or Libel and they can lead to civil litigation.

If you suspect you are being abused, talk to a counsellor or a Psychologist.

 

[browning911]

I have silently read this thread. While yes it is sad, outside of the Condition 51 or sponsorship related questions, it shouldn't be here.

I disagree here. Relationships breakdown. When they do, both sides end up hurt, and lashing out at each other. This is not the same thing as persistently and aggressively engaging in a campaign to hurt or degrade another person.

You cannot just throw around accusations of abuse. In fact, in this country, unfounded accusations are known as Slander or Libel and they can lead to civil litigation.

If you suspect you are being abused, talk to a counsellor or a Psychologist.

Well said!

 

[scylla]

Being cheated on, especially in this situation where it's "online cheating", does not qualify as being abused. Regardless, Syndney is the sponsor, so there is no need to prove abuse. She or he can leave the relationship and inform IRCC; if Condition 51 applies, IRCC will decide whether to take action against the spouse.

Agreed. There's a very simple solution here because the sponsor is the one being cheated on.

 

[soblue3]

I have silently read this thread. While yes it is sad, outside of the Condition 51 or sponsorship related questions, it shouldn't be here.

I disagree here. Relationships breakdown. When they do, both sides end up hurt, and lashing out at each other. This is not the same thing as persistently and aggressively engaging in a campaign to hurt or degrade another person.

You cannot just throw around accusations of abuse. In fact, in this country, unfounded accusations are known as Slander or Libel and they can lead to civil litigation.

If you suspect you are being abused, talk to a counsellor or a Psychologist.

of course we are all entitled to our own opinions...relationships do break down so one person needs to leave...if they choose to stick around but are not able to fulfill their obligations to the other person they should leave. and it is not just mine mine opinion that cheating is a form of emotional abuse and results and damages can be almost as severe as those of more visible physical abuse. of course seeking professional help is the best option. but i will not have people coming here and saying cheating is fine ..which would imply that the partner of a cheater has no choice but stay in such relationship and be quiet. those who are married to cheating spouses need to be aware they can do something about it and not only can but also should. any body suffering from a cheating partner needs to collect evidence and use the conditional agreement. you do not have to stay in an abusive relationship for any reason.

 

[mikeymyke]

Ok so my partner that I sponsored is cheating over the Internet with multiple people, I feel like I have to put up with it cause I'm his sponsor. Is there any advise? He's sending them nudes as well as talking dirty with them.

Leave him? Seems like the most obvious thing to do, and there's no risk to you since you're the sponsor. I don't know why you feel like you have to "put up with it". Just dump him, simple as that. You're only empowering him by continuing to remain in the relationship despite his blatant cheating.

 

[zardoz]

of course we are all entitled to our own opinions...relationships do break down so one person needs to leave...if they choose to stick around but are not able to fulfill their obligations to the other person they should leave. and it is not just mine mine opinion that cheating is a form of emotional abuse and results and damages can be almost as severe as those of more visible physical abuse. of course seeking professional help is the best option. but i will not have people coming here and saying cheating is fine ..which would imply that the partner of a cheater has no choice but stay in such relationship and be quiet. those who are married to cheating spouses need to be aware they can do something about it and not only can but also should. any body suffering from a cheating partner needs to collect evidence and use the conditional agreement. you do not have to stay in an abusive relationship for any reason.

Regardless of your opinion, IRCC have clearly defined what they consider to be "abuse" for the purpose of Conditional PR.
See http://www.cic.gc.ca/english/resources/manuals/bulletins/2012/ob480.asp#appc
You will notice that marital infidelity is not present in the examples.

 

[soblue3]

Regardless of your opinion, IRCC have clearly defined what they consider to be "abuse" for the purpose of Conditional PR.
See http://www.cic.gc.ca/english/resources/manuals/bulletins/2012/ob480.asp#appc
You will notice that marital infidelity is not present in the examples.

oh but all this is...quote
where there is a pattern of coercive or controlling behaviour, which can include, but is not limited to insults, intimidation, humiliation, harassment or threats, name-calling, yelling, blaming, shaming, ridiculing, disrespecting, and criticising;

and most of this is an obvious result of cheating ohh...and dont forget neglect..you can find the definition of that on your own link...such compulsive behaviour also can expose the partner to stds...or even just risk of them. irresponsible, uncaring selfish behaviour. the fact that some of you are even suggesting that cheating is not harmful (and any harmful behaviour is abuse of some sort) makes me wonder if you are a cheater or planning to cheat and hoping your spouse just puts up with that under a fear of having to be responsible for you for 3 years or being thrown out of the country.
on top of that you are writing in a spousal sponsorship section..you were able to sponsor a person why? because marriage was genuine and you married each other for love...yes? and you think cic will think that cheating is an expression of genuine relationship and will not act on that? omg wake up