IELTS - Writing - For Band 7 or Above.

[Sohaibkq]

@marosa

Thanks as always. I know I am all over, especially when it comes to To what extent essays. Despite writing several essays, I have not been able to maintain TA and C&C. Mainly because I am still confused as which method works best. Should you fully agree, should you partially, If fully, how far you should mention other side as so on.

Anyway, before I move to other essay types, here is another essay on to what extent. This is recommended by Youtuber Jay,

Vaccinating children against preventable diseases is not only unnecessary but also dangerous.

To what extent do you agree or disagree?



Vaccinating children has become increasingly unpopular among certain demographics of the society. These people claim that vaccinations are hazardous to children’s health and as such are not needed. This essay will argue why vaccinating against spreadable diseases is entirely necessary despite some potential risks.

Parents have always been wary of vaccinating their children. They are justifiably worried about injecting their children with unfamiliar substances that could potentially make them sick. Parents naturally feel protective of their children. Indeed, there have been some recorded instances of children unfortunately reacting adversely to their injections. These few instances have bolstered existing fears in parents that vaccinations are not necessary and potentially more dangerous than the possibility of contracting the communicable disease itself.

Despite the minor risks associated with vaccinating children, the idea that they are unnecessary and dangerous is completely preposterous. Vaccines have prevented vast number of deaths over hundreds of years in countries around the world. The number of deaths so far prevented far outweighs the number of children who have been adversely affected by the immunisations themselves. Some diseases have actually been completely eradicated through vaccination campaigns. Overall, the idea that vaccinations are unnecessary and dangerous is ill-informed and dangerous in itself and could potentially lead to a far worse outcome for society.

The essay argued why people against vaccination have a flawed understanding of vaccinations and underestimate the effects of what they believe. In my opinion, vaccinating children is an absolute imperative that is entirely justified despite the small and occasional risk involved.

 

[marosa]

Ok 1. Prices greatly affect sales. Why do you think prices can actually affect sales?

@Sohaibkq I’m trying to help you to build a BP here and you’re just jumping to another essay)

Main idea 1 is sales are affected by prices. Now, can you give a reason why it is so?

 

[Sohaibkq]

@Sohaibkq I’m trying to help you to build a BP here and you’re just jumping to another essay)

Main idea 1 is sales are affected by prices. Now, can you give a reason why it is so?

Apologies.

while writing, I had smartphones example on my mind. There used to be days when only Samsung and Apple used to rock their sales, regardless of how they priced their products. Now, there are many alternates available offering similar features at a very low price point. Eg One plus, Xiaomi and so on. So, to maintain sales, both Apple and Samsung have launched low priced phones with latest features.

 

[marosa]

Apologies.

while writing, I had smartphones example on my mind. There used to be days when only Samsung and Apple used to rock their sales, regardless of how they priced their products. Now, there are many alternates available offering similar features at a very low price point. Eg One plus, Xiaomi and so on. So, to maintain sales, both Apple and Samsung have launched low priced phones with latest features.

Yes but why? You need to tell the examiner why your main idea is valid. Why is price so important for sales?

 

[cansha]

@Sohaibkq I’m trying to help you to build a BP here and you’re just jumping to another essay)

Main idea 1 is sales are affected by prices. Now, can you give a reason why it is so?

Just to add to Marosa's intent here - "Practice makes perfect" in IELTS context doesn't mean you attempt to write a lot of essays for practice. You probably need to write the same essay many times to understand what is needed and how to build the arguments in your BP in a logical manner.

Do not be in a hurry to write a new essay. The chances of you getting the same essay in exams are extremely low. Even if you get same essay topic you have practiced, unless you have practiced it right it won't help you on exam.

You guys are focusing too much on "structure" suggested by teachers on Youtube. Nothing wrong in that. BUT structure alone won't help you. You need content that makes sense within that structure.

For example - let's say you are cooking something and someone gave you the order in which the ingredients need to be put in the pot. Right now you are too focused on that order but completely ignoring in how much quantity an ingredient needs to be.

 

[cansha]

Yes but why? You need to tell the examiner why your main idea is valid. Why is price so important for sales?

I like what you are doing here. I used to do that in earlier pages of this thread but after sometimes it becomes tiresome to explain in that much depth. Also, anyone new on this thread won't spend any time in reading these conversations.

 

[cansha]

Apologies.

while writing, I had smartphones example on my mind. There used to be days when only Samsung and Apple used to rock their sales, regardless of how they priced their products. Now, there are many alternates available offering similar features at a very low price point. Eg One plus, Xiaomi and so on. So, to maintain sales, both Apple and Samsung have launched low priced phones with latest features.

Yes but why? You need to tell the examiner why your main idea is valid. Why is price so important for sales?

@Sohaibkq You are giving the result part of the argument. Think one step backwards on why does price matter?

Let me ask you this - Let's say you had enough money to buy a BMW. Would you still buy a Honda Civic because it is cheaper? It also does the same thing of taking you from point A to Point B. It also has infotainment system etc.

Taking this example forward. Do you think people who could afford iPhones started buying cheaper phones once competitors launched cheaper phones?

And one more - If someone who was buying cheaper phone today. And got rich tomorrow, would he still stick to cheaper phone or go and buy an iPhone?

 

[Sohaibkq]

Yes but why? You need to tell the examiner why your main idea is valid. Why is price so important for sales?

Price is important for generating more sales. Like if Samsung sold 100,000 units of Samsung s20 by keeping it around $1,000 a piece, they can sell 150,000 units by lowering the price to $800. In short, affordability factor is crucial for selling more in my opinion

 

[marosa]

Just to add to Marosa's intent here - "Practice makes perfect" in IELTS context doesn't mean you attempt to write a lot of essays for practice. You probably need to write the same essay many times to understand what is needed and how to build the arguments in your BP in a logical manner.

Do not be in a hurry to write a new essay. The chances of you getting the same essay in exams are extremely low. Even if you get same essay topic you have practiced, unless you have practiced it right it won't help you on exam.

You guys are focusing too much on "structure" suggested by teachers on Youtube. Nothing wrong in that. BUT structure alone won't help you. You need content that makes sense within that structure.

For example - let's say you are cooking something and someone gave you the order in which the ingredients need to be put in the pot. Right now you are too focused on that order but completely ignoring in how much quantity an ingredient needs to be.

Oh thank you

 

[marosa]

Price is important for generating more sales. Like if Samsung sold 100,000 units of Samsung s20 by keeping it around $1,000 a piece, they can sell 150,000 units by lowering the price to $800. In short, affordability factor is crucial for selling more in my opinion

The price is important because money is a limited resource. In most cases people earn money by doing a certain job, and since one’s time and capabilities are limited people cannot just earn an endless amount of money. That is why they need to decide how they want to spend their money to meet their needs the best, that is why price is a key factor. To score 7 and above you will have to be able to explain this (or a similar) cause and effect chain.

 

[marosa]

I like what you are doing here. I used to do that in earlier pages of this thread but after sometimes it becomes tiresome to explain in that much depth. Also, anyone new on this thread won't spend any time in reading these conversations.

Agreed, maybe such comments should be removed after a while not to confuse new members.

 

[cansha]

The price is important because money is a limited resource. In most cases people earn money by doing a certain job, and since one’s time and capabilities are limited people cannot just earn an endless amount of money. That is why they need to decide how they want to spend their money to meet their needs the best, that is why price is a key factor. To score 7 and above you will have to be able to explain this (or a similar) cause and effect chain.

Price is important for generating more sales. Like if Samsung sold 100,000 units of Samsung s20 by keeping it around $1,000 a piece, they can sell 150,000 units by lowering the price to $800. This argument is flawed but let's not get in to economics of it.
In short, affordability factor is crucial for selling more in my opinion

Marosa has given a very good explanation of how to expand on "affordability" to make a good coherent 7+ worth argument.

 

[cansha]

I like what you are doing here. I used to do that in earlier pages of this thread but after sometimes it becomes tiresome to explain in that much depth. Also, anyone new on this thread won't spend any time in reading these conversations.

I was thinking the opposite. If there was a way to put all these comments in context people could learn more about building a BP.

 

[marosa]

I was thinking the opposite. If there was a way to put all these comments in context people could learn more about building a BP.

Oh good idea! Anyways should be separated from this thread I guess. I’m just thinking this thread is quite popular and so more people would see comments put here then anywhere else, dunno

 

[CA GURPREET SINGH MANN]

Some older people struggle with the use of modern electronic devices such as computers. Write the causes and propose solutions.


It is seen that some elderly find it difficult to operate a mobile phone and a computer. This problem arises from the lack of knowledge and motivation; however, teaching older people about technology can help to ameliorate the problem.

One of the main reasons why the elderly are not able to use modern gadgets is the lack of technical knowledge. This is because they did not learn about this field when they themselves used to study or were young. These devices are discovered only two decades ago when most of the current elderly finished their school or college. For instance, smartphones and laptops are discovered in 2005. They also never pay much attention to the operating procedure of these electronic devices due to the lack of self-motivation. They believe that they cannot learn anything related to technology as it is beyond their control.

That being said, it is likely that the elderly can use electronic devices with ease if they are taught about technology. Introducing a separate section in a newspaper dedicated to the technology fundamentals can increase their knowledge as most older people read it daily. Moreover, when younger members of a family teach their grandparents about the hardware, the software, and the operating procedures patiently, it helps them to gain an internal urge to learn more about these devices. Regularly learning and practicing help them to become an intermediate to an advanced user from a beginner level in a short while.

In conclusion, it is common to see that the elderly are afraid of using a smartphone or a computer as they neither have the knowledge nor the desire to learn. However, when they learn about these devices from the print media or the younger generation, they can operate these gadgets without any additional help.