IELTS - Writing - For Band 7 or Above.

[Rehanyousaf]

Some people believe that every human can create art. Other people think that art can only be created by people with special talents. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

For hundreds of years, art and artists hold significant value in our cultures. While a group of people think that with hardworking and devotion, anyone can learn art, I side with those who believe that only people with gifted talents can become an artist.

On the one hand, it could be argued that determination and industriousness are vital to learning a skill. Anyone can become successful if they are devoted to and passionate about learning the art. Therefore, with the guidance of the veteran artists and mentors, art in any form can be learnt. They often quote Art schools and colleges as an example, from where thousands of students claim diplomas and graduate annually. However, I think these institutes only enrol pupil with some talent who then get polished during their academic years.

Moreover, In my opinion, there are thousands of artists who do not become successful and get recognition in their entire lives despite dedicating themselves for Art. In contrast, God-gifted people often acclaim limelight and become eminent earlier in their careers since the audience and industry leaders can spot the natural spark in them. Take the example of Atif Aslam, the most renowned singer in South Asian countries. In spite of the fact that singing requires years of practice and hard work, Atif Aslam has not learnt singing from any teacher or school yet lead the music industry in many countries.

To conclude, although putting efforts and dedication increase the chances to accomplish the desired goals in many fields, I believe art is an area where only people with natural abilities can become successful. Therefore, on balance, I strongly believe that only people with natural talent should join the arts.

@marosa @cansha @CA GURPREET SINGH MANN

 

[reesastark]

Hello everyone and goody day,
here I am with another essay.
Your comments will be truly appreciated
@marosa @cansha

Young people are often influenced in their behaviors and situations by others in the same age. This is called “peer pressure”.

Do the disadvantages outweigh the advantages

Youngsters have a natural tendency to follow behaviors of people of their own age group through their social interactions. Although this might have possible side effects if happens blindly, I believe that the obvious advantageous aspects outweigh its drawbacks.

On the disadvantageous side, adolescents may follow their friends’ behaviors regardless of the activity’s risk level, thus they will not feel left out and isolated. Generally, if their interactions happen through an unsupervised way, the possible consequences might not be easily compensated. For instance, if they friend are dealing with some criminal activities like using drugs, it will not be unlikely for them to end up in a trouble. However, this is not always the case and with a careful consideration, the situation can be handled precisely.

On the positive side, people of same age are going through same situations and issues, thus they have better understanding of each other’s concerns. Therefore, they can help one another to overcome their problem due to the sympathy they have toward each other. For example, in overwhelming process of puberty, teenagers can talk their feel up without any social barrier in their friend groups. Moreover, a balanced relationship with their friends is a psychologically proven way for social skills development from the earliest stages. Eventually, the chance of an appropriate behavior being positively reinforced is much higher when it has been learned from their age group.

In conclusion, although youngster being under influence of their friends might have hazardous side effects, I think its advantageous outcomes are outweighing the drawbacks.

Thank you guys

 

[Rehanyousaf]

@cansha @marosa Is this Semi-formal letter and how do you differentiate between formal and Semi-formal. What should be the strategy to handle semi-formal letters? Can we use contraction in Semi-formal letters?


After being involved in an accident, you were looked after by a person you did not know before. Write a special thank you letter to express your gratitude.

In your letter:
Introduce yourself and let him/her know why you are writing
Express your appreciation
And offer him/ her to visit your home with this family.


Dear Ahsan,

I am Rehan Yousaf, a patient who was admitted in National surgical ward last month, and I was allotted with bed no 29, right next to your brother. The reason I am writing this letter is to express my gratitude to you for all the care you provided me while I was passing through one of the most challenging times in my life.

As you may remember that I was alone in this country as my family was out of the country for domestic reasons. It would not have been possible for me to recover that fast from the injury if I had not had your support through that difficult time. Believe me, the way you assisted me; I never felt that you are not my imitate family member.

Moreover, my parents are back in the country, and I have informed them about all the situation and the support you provided me. Therefore, they want to meet and greet you, and they have invited you at dinner this Sunday, June 2, 2019.

I look forward to having you.

Yours sincerely

Rehan Yousaf

 

[marosa]

@cansha @marosa Is this Semi-formal letter and how do you differentiate between formal and Semi-formal. What should be the strategy to handle semi-formal letters? Can we use contraction in Semi-formal letters?

https://www.canadavisa.com/canada-immigration-discussion-board/threads/ielts-writing-for-band-7-or-above.540392/page-195#post-8641579

 

[marosa]

Some older people struggle with the use of modern electronic devices such as computers. Write the causes and propose solutions.


It is seen that not sure about this phrase some elderly find it difficult to operate high-tech devices like a mobile phone and a computer Because the question is not about those two items only. In my opinion one of the main reasons for this phenomenon is the lack of... This problem arises from the lack of knowledge and motivation; however, “however” doesn’t sound right here, you don’t oppose this problem to anything, so even a simple “and” would be more appropriate “this problem arises due to lack... and can be overcome by teaching... teaching older people about technology can help to ameliorate the problem.

One of the main reasons why the elderly are not able often have difficulties to use modern gadgets is the lack of technical knowledge. This is because they did not learn about this field when they themselves used to study or were young. too many words, not much info “technology was not so developed compared to nowadays back in the 60s and 70s, neither were computers this widely accessible and, therefore, our grandparents had very limited opportunity to study this field”, something like this These devices are discovered only two decades ago when most of the current elderly finished their school or college. For instance, smartphones and laptops are discovered in 2005. That’s not a band 7 example, not even a band 7 sentence at all an example would be if you said “similarly, most of their ancestors had no clue how to use calculators, while those were widely used by our grandparents at schools and offices”. They also never you shouldn’t present you ideas in the essay as a 100% truth, what do you mean by “never”? pay much attention to the operating procedure of these electronic devices due to the lack of self-motivation. They believe that they cannot learn anything related to technology as it is beyond their control. Why did you need these last 2 sentences? They are not supported

To solve this issue, to overcome this situation, as a possible solution... That being said, it is likely that the elderly can use electronic devices with ease if they are taught about technology. Introducing a separate section in a newspaper dedicated to the technology fundamentals can increase their knowledge as most older people read it daily. Moreover, when younger members of a family teach their grandparents about the hardware, the software, and the operating procedures processes patiently, it helps them to gain an internal urge to learn more about these devices. Regularly learning and practicing can/may help them to become an intermediate to an advanced user from a beginner level in a short while. Example?

In conclusion, it is common to see that the elderly are afraid of using a smartphone or a computer as they neither have the knowledge nor the desire to learn. However, when they learn about these devices from the print media or the younger generation, they can operate these gadgets those without any additional help.

Hi! The structure is ok, practice examples. The rest is in the comments)

 

[CA GURPREET SINGH MANN]

Hi! The structure is ok, practice examples. The rest is in the comments)

BP1 was a mess this time. Sorry!
There are 2 ideas in the BP1. Last two lines are related to the second one. That's why I have added it.

 

[marosa]

BP1 was a mess this time. Sorry!
There are 2 ideas in the BP1. Last two lines are related to the second one. That's why I have added it.

You didn’t cover that idea. And actually, if you developed that idea, your BP1 would get too long compared to BP2, so in that case it would be a better strategy to have it in a separate BP.

It is more than ok to have just one main idea in each BP.

 

[marosa]

Some people believe that every human can create art. Other people think that art can only be created by people with special talents. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

For hundreds of years, art and artists hold significant value in our cultures. While a group of people think that with hardworking and devotion, anyone can learn art, I side with those who believe that only people with gifted talents can become an artist.

On the one hand, it could be argued that determination and industriousness are vital to learning a skill. Anyone can become successful if they are devoted to and passionate about learning the art. Therefore, with the guidance of the veteran artists and mentors, art in any form can be learnt. They often quote Art schools and colleges as an example, from where thousands of students claim diplomas and graduate annually. However, I think these institutes only enrol pupil with some talent who then get polished during their academic years.

Moreover, In my opinion, there are thousands of artists who do not become successful and get recognition in their entire lives despite dedicating themselves for Art. In contrast, God-gifted people often acclaim limelight and become eminent earlier in their careers since the audience and industry leaders can spot the natural spark in them. Take the example of Atif Aslam, the most renowned singer in South Asian countries. In spite of the fact that singing requires years of practice and hard work, Atif Aslam has not learnt singing from any teacher or school yet lead the music industry in many countries.

To conclude, although putting efforts and dedication increase the chances to accomplish the desired goals in many fields, I believe art is an area where only people with natural abilities can become successful. Therefore, on balance, I strongly believe that only people with natural talent should join the arts.

@marosa @cansha @CA GURPREET SINGH MANN

Hi!
It’s weird you don’t know it yet, but here are linking words to start BPs:

1. On the one hand/on the other hand or however
2. Admittedly(BP you don’t support much)/on the other hand or however
3. Firstly/secondly or moreover or another point to consider

 

[marosa]

Some people believe that every human can create art. Other people think that art can only be created by people with special talents. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

For hundreds of years, art and artists hold significant value in our cultures. While a group of people some think that with hardworking and devotion, anyone can learn art, I side with those, who believe that only people with gifted talents can become an artists.

On the one hand, it could be argued that determination and industriousness are vital to learning a skill your topic is about art not learning any skill. Anyone can become successful if they are devoted to and passionate about learning the art. You should leave either the 1st or the 2nd sentence as your main idea, they are nearly about the same Therefore, with the guidance of the veteran artists and mentors, art in any form can be learnt. They often quote Art schools and colleges as an example, from where thousands of students claim diplomas and graduate annually. However, I think these institutes only enrol pupil with some talent who then get polished during their academic years. This BP is not developed, you haven’t explained why art is considered to be a skill and your example is not quite an example.

Moreover, In my opinion, there are thousands of artists who do not become successful and get recognition in their entire lives despite dedicating themselves for Art. In contrast, God-gifted people often acclaim limelight holy moly, can anyone please check this phrase? Never heard it before and become eminent earlier in their careers since the audience and industry leaders can spot the natural spark in them. Take the example of Atif Aslam, the most renowned singer in South Asian countries. Atif Aslam, for example, leads music industry in many asian countries despite the fact of never having taken any songing classes. In spite of the fact that singing requires years of practice and hard work, Atif Aslam has not learnt singing from any teacher or school yet lead the music industry in many countries.

To conclude, although putting efforts and dedication increase the chances to accomplish the desired goals in many fields, I believe art is an area where only people with natural abilities can become successful. Therefore, on balance, I strongly believe that only people with natural talent should join the arts.

@marosa @cansha @CA GURPREET SINGH MANN

Hi!

Before getting to the next essay I would recommend you to read all the reviews you’ve received so far. + practice building body paragraphs

 

[marosa]

Hello everyone and goody day,
here I am with another essay.
Your comments will be truly appreciated
@marosa @cansha

Young people are often influenced in their behaviors and situations by others in the same age. This is called “peer pressure”.

Do the disadvantages outweigh the advantages

Youngsters have a natural tendency to follow behaviors of people of their own age group through their social interactions. Good Although this might have possible side effects if happens blindly, I believe that the obvious advantageous aspects outweigh its drawbacks. Be more specific here

On the disadvantageous side admittedly, adolescents may follow their friends’ behaviors regardless of the activity’s risk level, thus they will not feel left out and isolated. Generally “therefore/as a result”, you should connect this sentence to the previous one somehow , if their interactions happen through an unsupervised way, the possible consequences might not be easily compensated. For instance, if they friend are dealing with some criminal activities like using drugs, it will not be unlikely or simply will be likely for them to end up in a trouble. This example is too general, but I can’t think of a better one right now However, this is not always the case and with a careful consideration, the situation can be handled precisely.

On the positive side, However, on the other hand people of same age are going through same situations and issues, thus they have better understanding of each other’s concerns. Therefore, they can help one another to overcome their problem due to the sympathy they have toward each other. For example, in overwhelming process of puberty, teenagers can talk their feel up without any social barrier in their friend groups. Moreover, a balanced relationship with their friends is a psychologically proven way for social skills development from the earliest stages. Eventually, the chance of an appropriate behavior being positively reinforced is much higher when it has been learned from their age group.

In conclusion, although youngsters being under influence of their friends might have hazardous side effects, I think its advantageous outcomes are outweighing the drawbacks.

Thank you guys

Ok, I’ve got tasks for you.
- Rewrite the 2nd sentence of the intro.
- Think of specific examples for both sides.

 

[reesastark]

Ok, I’ve got tasks for you.
- Rewrite the 2nd sentence of the intro.
- Think of specific examples for both sides.

here you are ;-)

Youngsters have a natural tendency to follow behaviors of people of their own age group through their social interactions. Although this might have possible side effects under certain circumstances, I believe since essential social and communication skills will be achieved through this tendency, the beneficial aspects will outweigh its drawbacks.

On the disadvantageous side admittedly, adolescents may follow their friends’ behaviors regardless of the activity’s risk level, thus they will not feel left out and isolated. Therefore, if their interactions happen through an unsupervised way, the possible consequences might not be easily compensated. For instance, young adults who are raised to value a higher education as the way of achieving success, will face serious contradictions when they start hanging out with friends who rather not to pursue a university degree, thus they may giving up their study plan irrationally. However, this is not always the case and with a careful consideration, the situation can be handled precisely.

On the other hand, people of same age are going through same situations and issues, indeed, they have better understanding of each other’s concerns. Therefore, they can help one another to overcome their problem due to the sympathy they have toward each other. For example, during puberty, teenagers’ anxiety level will raise up, hence they barely can communicate their feeling with their parents effectively. Nevertheless, they can talk their feelings up with their friends, due to a mutual sense of understanding. Moreover, a balanced friendship has been proven psychologically, as a promising way for social and interpersonal skills development. Eventually, the chance of an appropriate behavior being positively reinforced is much higher when it has been learned from their age group.

In conclusion, although youngsters being under influence of their friends might have hazardous side effects, I think its advantageous outcomes are outweighing the drawbacks.

 

[Sohaibkq]

Some people believe that every human can create art. Other people think that art can only be created by people with special talents. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Since the inception of time, humans have been engaged in learning and showcasing their art. While some people are of an opinion that everyone can learn the art through passion or by practice, I believe that people bring this specialized attribute with their birth.

On the one hand, it could be argued that like many other fields, art can also be learned through practice. People claim that if anyone has the desire to learn and he can dedicate his time for practice, any form of art can be learnt and mastered through time. Taking the example of a musical instrument like a guitar, one can polish his skills after learning the basics from an expert and can carry on playing onwards on his own. Similarly, they also claim that through the basic ingredient of passion, any form of art can be practised. Although it may take more time than a naturally born talent, they retiriate that eventually anyone can become an expert provided that he keeps his level of devotion intact.

On the other hand, in my opinion, despite practice and affection for art, a valuable piece of art can not be created without having natural abilities. Through the divine gifted abilities, an artist crafts his work in a way that no room of error is usually left. Taking the example of painters, people with born talent start showcasing their abilities from their childhood. Since then, the work of art they produce becomes impossible to match.

In conclusion, although with practice and devotion many things can be learnt, art is an exclusive field where only people with natural talent can excel. Therefore, on balance, I believe that not everyone can create a perfect piece of art.

@marosa @cansha Again too generic,, weak extension of ideas. This is killing me

 

[cansha]

here you are ;-)

Youngsters have a natural tendency to follow behaviors of people of their own age group through their social interactions. Although this might have possible side effects under certain circumstances, I believe since essential social and communication skills will be achieved through this tendency, the beneficial aspects will outweigh its drawbacks. Poorly written. Also, you are using "side effects" as a synonym for "negative impact" which is not true. Side effects can be positive as well. In any case the use of the phrase is incorrect in this context. Also, your line lacks reference to what would be the negative impacts. You have provided two positive impacts which are "social and communicating skills". What are the negatives? Give a glimpse of that.

Also, when you expand on "communication skills" in BP2 it makes no sense at all (at least to me). Your point is youngsters can better tell their feelings to their peers (puberty / anxiety etc.) I'm not sure that would fall under "communication skills".


On the disadvantageous side admittedly, adolescents may follow their friends’ behaviors regardless of the activity’s risk level, thus they will not feel left out and isolated. Therefore, if their interactions happen through an unsupervised way, the possible consequences might not be easily compensated. For instance, young adults who are raised to value a higher education as the way of achieving success, will face serious contradictions when they start hanging out with friends who rather not to pursue a university degree, thus they may giving up their study plan irrationally. However, this is not always the case and with a careful consideration, the situation can be handled precisely.

On the other hand, people of same age are going through same situations and issues, indeed, they have better understanding of each other’s concerns. Therefore, they can help one another to overcome their problem due to the sympathy they have toward each other. For example, during puberty, teenagers’ anxiety level will raise up, hence they barely can communicate their feeling with their parents effectively. Nevertheless, they can talk their feelings up with their friends, due to a mutual sense of understanding. Moreover, a balanced friendship has been proven psychologically, as a promising way for social and interpersonal skills development. Eventually, the chance of an appropriate behavior being positively reinforced is much higher when it has been learned from their age group.

In conclusion, although youngsters being under influence of their friends might have hazardous side effects, I think its advantageous outcomes are outweighing the drawbacks.

 

[marosa]

here you are ;-)

Youngsters have a natural tendency to follow behaviors of people of their own age group through their social interactions. Although this might have possible side effects if not properly controlled under certain circumstances, I believe advantages in terms of improved social and communication skills outweigh those. since essential social and communication skills will be achieved through this tendency, the beneficial aspects will outweigh its drawbacks. You need to learn to balance between bringing in the key ideas and not going too much into details, because that’s what you’ll do in the BPs.

On the disadvantageous side admittedly, adolescents may follow their friends’ behaviors regardless of the activity’s risk level, thus they will not feel left out and isolated not to feel left out and isolated . Therefore, if their interactions happen through an unsupervised way, the possible negative consequences might not be easily compensated. For instance, young adults who are raised to value a higher education as the way of achieving success, will face serious contradictions when they start hanging out with friends who rather not to pursue a university degree, thus they may giving up their study plan irrationally. Too long, but ok, might work However, this is not always the case and with a careful consideration, the situation can be handled precisely.

On the other hand, people of same age are going are more likely to go through the same situations and issues, indeed, they have better understanding of each other’s concerns. Therefore, they can help one another to overcome their problem due to the sympathy they have towards each other. For example, during puberty, teenagers’ anxiety level will raise up, hence they barely can communicate their feeling with their parents effectively. An alternative to “for example” - “Physiological transformations like those during the puberty period often lead to similar physiological issues amongst teenagers, making it easier to communicate with each other rather than with parents.“ Nevertheless, they can talk their feelings up with their friends, due to a mutual sense of understanding. Moreover, a balanced friendship has been proven psychologically, as a promising way for social and interpersonal skills development. “Has been proven to be” or “is recognized as” Eventually, the chance of an appropriate behavior being positively reinforced is much higher when it has been learned from their age group.

In conclusion, although youngsters being under influence of their friends might have hazardous side effects, I think its advantageous social and interpersonal outcomes are outweighing the drawbacks.

 

[marosa]

Also, when you expand on "communication skills" in BP2 it makes no sense at all (at least to me). Your point is youngsters can better tell their feelings to their peers (puberty / anxiety etc.) I'm not sure that would fall under "communication skills".

I was thinking the same. Maybe if added a sentence in the BP that by sharing experiences they also learn to better communicate.