Hi every body,
My latest IELTS score is like this: R8.5 L8.5 S7.5 W6!
I really want my Writing result to be 7 or more.
Could you please help me with assessing the following essay:
"
Nowadays more and more tourists are visiting places with difficult weather conditions, such as the Sahara desert and the Antarctic region and so on. What are the advantages and disadvantages for tourists who visit such places.
Today, there is an increasing number of people who are interested in tours
that visit to places with wild climate, such as a very hot and dry desert or a
freezed first of all, it's frozen not freezed, secondly, freezing would probably be more suitable here site. Visiting these places can be in general advantageous for the tourists, however, there are some drawbacks in this regard
(you can be more specific what advantages and disadvantages you're going to talk about).
Visiting a place suffering a difficult weather condition can be disadvantageous (you added no value to your essay with this sentence, cuz of course there are disadvantages, or else you wouldn't have this question). Firstly, some visitors
might (may? can?) overestimate their capabilities and skills, which would expose them to several indefinite risks. A major risk is a silent disease that one can live with for a long time and
not knowing (can not knowing?) about it, that make
s such a journey harmful or even fatal for them. Next drawback to these journeys could be the uncertainties the visitors
might face. Known touristic sites are well
-prepared to receive tourists, and
that is because they have experienced as much practices to discover relevant benchmarks.
On the other hand, travelling to places with wild climate is beneficial. In this way, human beings
shall (should?) have the chance to challenge themselves. For instance, people from the equator who may
never be seeing (have seen) a snowy weather, can actually live in a hotel made
by ("from" - not a single ice or snow has made a hotel by far ) ice and snow in
an Arctic zone. Furthermore, many visitors can become familiar with the
hardness difficulties other people are struggling with
, every day. When the visitors return to their hometowns, they will enjoy their normal lives more, and will look at minor difficulties with a smile.
In conclusion, visiting places with harsh weather conditions is generally beneficial to the tourists by challenging them, as well as increasing their awareness of a normal life. Disadvantages of such tours are mostly the possible risks that are caused due to the uncertainties.
"
Thanks in advance.
It would be more great if you could give me specific comments and/or references to improve my writing skills.