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Help please

lifeisnotfair

Member
Oct 6, 2024
11
1
Hi all,

I need your honest opinion, and I beg any of you to help me.

A and B have been in a long-distance relationship for five years. A is a Canadian citizen and works full-time, but A has muscular weakness, which means A cannot walk and uses a wheelchair. Despite this, A is highly educated, good-looking, generous, and intelligent. B is also educated, hardworking, and religious person. However B comes from a different background, B's family has concerns about their marriage because of A's disability. B has fought with their family for approval, and after many attempts, they finally agreed, but not completely.

A and B had a wonderful relationship when B was back home. They always found a way to resolve their issues during their conversations. They made plans for their future together, discussing everything from marriage and starting a family and ensuring equal access to each other’s finances and etc. However, since moving to Canada, things have shifted, and they haven’t been able to accomplish any of their goals.

Since B's family did not agree to the marriage, A's parents felt similarly, believing that B was only interested in A for Canadian status. B has always disagreed with this idea, insisting that their feelings are genuine and focused solely on A. Given A's physical disability, A's parents agreed to to allow A sponsor B on one condition: that B would pay a certain amount of money. They feared that if B took advantage of A, and come to Canada but did not marry A, then the money would protect A's interests. B agreed to this condition but has not taken any action or made a plan to make the payment, continually postponing it. After some time, B changed their mind, saying they would pay once they arrived in Canada, but A's parents disagreed.

Just so you know, involving family is a cultural norm and considered essential. B's family chose not to get involved, as it’s not a topic they prefer to discuss; only B was in contact with A and their parents.

After three years in their relationship, A realized that reaching an agreement or resolution was not happening. A loves B deeply, and B feels the same way. However, A understood that this situation couldn’t go on forever. A wondered how much longer they could wait, especially with no hope of B making the payment to A’s parents.

A decided to hire a lawyer and sponsor B through a conjugal application. A’s parents do not know that A has paid for everything. B has a business back home and used to make good money, but during COVID-19, the business declined, and B did not earn anything. As a result, A started supporting B financially. A did this because A wanted to build a life with B, who made many promises to work hard and provide A with a good life. However, the application was denied multiple times because immigration officials felt their relationship wasn't genuine. A persevered, refusing to give up, and even filed for a court hearing to seek the judge's approval for the application.

Application approved and B is now in Canada.

Due to their religion, A and B cannot live together until they are married. While the application was in process and before B traveled to Canada, B made financial promises to cover the costs of their small wedding with seven guests. As B's departure approached, there was still no update from B about where he would stay or how he would manage expenses, as he has no money. B has often said he would pay but has not provided a timeline. Legally, A is financially responsible for B, but B knows that A also has financial obligations. B does not expect A to support B financially because B is supposed to find a job and work.

When B arrived in Canada, A gave some money to B to send to A’s parents as reassurance that B was marrying A for love and not just for Canadian status. A’s parents accepted the money but held onto it, waiting for B to verbally approve its use for the small wedding. Due to cultural norms, they felt it would not be appropriate to use it or plan the wedding without B’s permission. B, however, did not speak up about this; being unshy and outgoing, B struggled to address the topic of marriage. In some cultures, it is customary for the groom’s family to initiate such discussions, and while some men might take the lead, many do not.

Eventually, the money was returned to B, who rented a room and began looking for a job. They maintained good contact over the phone, but when A suggested planning outings to restaurants or exploring the city, B consistently refused. Eventually, B found a cash job and started working long hours for a small wage.

After two months in Canada, B kept working but didn’t plan the wedding. A and their family often reached out to discuss wedding plans. They had a family meeting and agreed to get married in the summer. However, in private talks, B never started the conversations; it was always A. As summer got closer, A and their family asked B to begin planning, but B hesitated, saying B would block A because A always starts an arguments.

A’s parents wanted to understand why B was postponing everything and if he had changed his mind due to A’s disability. However, B consistently said no; he still wanted to marry A. Nevertheless, his unexplained delays frustrated A and made her wish that B would be clearer about his intentions. Instead, B avoided giving a reason and changed the subject.

Finally B got tired and inform A that they will get married in the fall.

B kept working but continued to say there was no chance to save money and hide his income from A. A believes B now has enough money to get married and start a new life together, but B insists there is no money.

In one of the conversations B suggested that A should start changing and learn not to ask B about money and even after get married.

Now that fall is approaching, A wants to plan the wedding, but B said he wants to travel back home to see family first and will plan the wedding upon B’s return.

A feels increasingly frustrated and disheartened by B’s constant postponements. B promised to marry A, but each time they discuss their plans, B finds a reason to delay. It feels as though A’s hopes are being dismissed, leading A to believe that B is taking advantage of their trust. A is left wondering if B truly values their relationship or if those promises are just empty words. Each delay makes A question whether B is genuinely committed to their future together, leaving A feeling anxious and uncertain about what lies ahead.

A and B had an argument a week ago, and A stopped communicating with B. B, however, didn’t seem to care and continued with life as usual.

A is heartbroken and deeply in pain because B has been lying to A. B works and saves money but never spends any on A or even on themselves. Even though B made many promises, A now sees that B never planned to keep them. A feels hurt and used, left in lots of pain and full of tears, knowing B never truly cared as they said they did. A now know that B is taking advantage of A.

A cannot forget B or move on because A is deeply attached to B and loves B so much. Despite all the pain and disappointment, A’s heart remains with B. Letting go feels impossible, as A’s love for B is too strong, making it hard to imagine life without them, even though B has hurt A.

Sometimes, A thinks about contacting the right department to file a marriage fraud lawsuit against B but isn’t sure if it’s the right thing to do. Other times, A hesitates, hoping that just seeing B from a distance, now that B is in Canada, might help heal some of the pain. However, A is afraid that B might use this chance to meet someone else, get married, and live a happy life while leaving A to suffer alone. A feels torn between taking action and holding on to the hope that B will change.


Any legal advice would be greatly appreciated.
 
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Reactions: agentorange_

scylla

VIP Member
Jun 8, 2010
95,856
22,114
Toronto
Category........
Visa Office......
Buffalo
Job Offer........
Pre-Assessed..
App. Filed.......
28-05-2010
AOR Received.
19-08-2010
File Transfer...
28-06-2010
Passport Req..
01-10-2010
VISA ISSUED...
05-10-2010
LANDED..........
05-10-2010
Hi all,

I need your honest opinion, and I beg any of you to help me.

A and B have been in a long-distance relationship for five years. A is a Canadian citizen and works full-time, but A has muscular weakness, which means A cannot walk and uses a wheelchair. Despite this, A is highly educated, good-looking, generous, and intelligent. B is also educated, hardworking, and religious person. However B comes from a different background, B's family has concerns about their marriage because of A's disability. B has fought with their family for approval, and after many attempts, they finally agreed, but not completely.

A and B had a wonderful relationship when B was back home. They always found a way to resolve their issues during their conversations. They made plans for their future together, discussing everything from marriage and starting a family and ensuring equal access to each other’s finances and etc. However, since moving to Canada, things have shifted, and they haven’t been able to accomplish any of their goals.

Since B's family did not agree to the marriage, A's parents felt similarly, believing that B was only interested in A for Canadian status. B has always disagreed with this idea, insisting that their feelings are genuine and focused solely on A. Given A's physical disability, A's parents agreed to to allow A sponsor B on one condition: that B would pay a certain amount of money. They feared that if B took advantage of A, and come to Canada but did not marry A, then the money would protect A's interests. B agreed to this condition but has not taken any action or made a plan to make the payment, continually postponing it. After some time, B changed their mind, saying they would pay once they arrived in Canada, but A's parents disagreed.

Just so you know, involving family is a cultural norm and considered essential. B's family chose not to get involved, as it’s not a topic they prefer to discuss; only B was in contact with A and their parents.

After three years in their relationship, A realized that reaching an agreement or resolution was not happening. A loves B deeply, and B feels the same way. However, A understood that this situation couldn’t go on forever. A wondered how much longer they could wait, especially with no hope of B making the payment to A’s parents.

A decided to hire a lawyer and sponsor B through a conjugal application. A’s parents do not know that A has paid for everything. B has a business back home and used to make good money, but during COVID-19, the business declined, and B did not earn anything. As a result, A started supporting B financially. A did this because A wanted to build a life with B, who made many promises to work hard and provide A with a good life. However, the application was denied multiple times because immigration officials felt their relationship wasn't genuine. A persevered, refusing to give up, and even filed for a court hearing to seek the judge's approval for the application.

Application approved and B is now in Canada.

Due to their religion, A and B cannot live together until they are married. While the application was in process and before B traveled to Canada, B made financial promises to cover the costs of their small wedding with seven guests. As B's departure approached, there was still no update from B about where he would stay or how he would manage expenses, as he has no money. B has often said he would pay but has not provided a timeline. Legally, A is financially responsible for B, but B knows that A also has financial obligations. B does not expect A to support B financially because B is supposed to find a job and work.

When B arrived in Canada, A gave some money to B to send to A’s parents as reassurance that B was marrying A for love and not just for Canadian status. A’s parents accepted the money but held onto it, waiting for B to verbally approve its use for the small wedding. Due to cultural norms, they felt it would not be appropriate to use it or plan the wedding without B’s permission. B, however, did not speak up about this; being unshy and outgoing, B struggled to address the topic of marriage. In some cultures, it is customary for the groom’s family to initiate such discussions, and while some men might take the lead, many do not.

Eventually, the money was returned to B, who rented a room and began looking for a job. They maintained good contact over the phone, but when A suggested planning outings to restaurants or exploring the city, B consistently refused. Eventually, B found a cash job and started working long hours for a small wage.

After two months in Canada, B kept working but didn’t plan the wedding. A and their family often reached out to discuss wedding plans. They had a family meeting and agreed to get married in the summer. However, in private talks, B never started the conversations; it was always A. As summer got closer, A and their family asked B to begin planning, but B hesitated, saying B would block A because A always starts an arguments.

A’s parents wanted to understand why B was postponing everything and if he had changed his mind due to A’s disability. However, B consistently said no; he still wanted to marry A. Nevertheless, his unexplained delays frustrated A and made her wish that B would be clearer about his intentions. Instead, B avoided giving a reason and changed the subject.

Finally B got tired and inform A that they will get married in the fall.

B kept working but continued to say there was no chance to save money and hide his income from A. A believes B now has enough money to get married and start a new life together, but B insists there is no money.

In one of the conversations B suggested that A should start changing and learn not to ask B about money and even after get married.

Now that fall is approaching, A wants to plan the wedding, but B said he wants to travel back home to see family first and will plan the wedding upon B’s return.

A feels increasingly frustrated and disheartened by B’s constant postponements. B promised to marry A, but each time they discuss their plans, B finds a reason to delay. It feels as though A’s hopes are being dismissed, leading A to believe that B is taking advantage of their trust. A is left wondering if B truly values their relationship or if those promises are just empty words. Each delay makes A question whether B is genuinely committed to their future together, leaving A feeling anxious and uncertain about what lies ahead.

A and B had an argument a week ago, and A stopped communicating with B. B, however, didn’t seem to care and continued with life as usual.

A is heartbroken and deeply in pain because B has been lying to A. B works and saves money but never spends any on A or even on themselves. Even though B made many promises, A now sees that B never planned to keep them. A feels hurt and used, left in lots of pain and full of tears, knowing B never truly cared as they said they did. A now know that B is taking advantage of A.

A cannot forget B or move on because A is deeply attached to B and loves B so much. Despite all the pain and disappointment, A’s heart remains with B. Letting go feels impossible, as A’s love for B is too strong, making it hard to imagine life without them, even though B has hurt A.

Sometimes, A thinks about contacting the right department to file a marriage fraud lawsuit against B but isn’t sure if it’s the right thing to do. Other times, A hesitates, hoping that just seeing B from a distance, now that B is in Canada, might help heal some of the pain. However, A is afraid that B might use this chance to meet someone else, get married, and live a happy life while leaving A to suffer alone. A feels torn between taking action and holding on to the hope that B will change.


Any legal advice would be greatly appreciated.
This is a lot to read and honestly some of it is pretty confusing. If the sponsor believes the applicant entered into a fraudulent relationship for the purposes of obtaining PR status, they can file a report with CBSA. It will be up to CBSA if they do something about this or not. That's the only real legal advice anyone here can give you.
 

Neato2024

Full Member
Sep 22, 2024
38
23
I'm really sorry to hear about what you’re going through. It sounds like an incredibly tough situation. Here’s my take on it: First, it’s important to prioritize your emotional well-being. You’ve invested a lot of love and effort into this relationship, and it’s understandable to feel heartbroken and confused right now. It might help to take a step back and reflect on what you truly want. Think about your own needs and happiness. Communication is key in any relationship, and it sounds like there’s been a lot of avoidance from B’s side. When someone shows you how they feel about you, believe them.

However, be prepared for any outcome. If B continues to postpone or evade important conversations about your future, it might be a sign that they aren’t fully committed. You deserve someone who is excited about building a life with you and willing to take those steps. As for the legal side of things, it might be wise to consult with a lawyer who specializes in immigration or family law. They can help you understand your options, especially regarding the sponsorship and any potential implications of your situation. It’s also worth considering whether you want to pursue the idea of marriage fraud. That’s a big step and could have serious repercussions, so weigh that carefully.

Ultimately, trust your instincts. If it feels like you’re being taken for granted, it might be time to reassess whether this relationship is serving you. Moving on from someone who you discovered is no good for you is never easy, but as each day goes by it gets easier... you will realize how strong you are and you will thank yourself for not settling. When we let go of what is not good for us, we make room for someone else who is... Surround yourself with friends or family who can offer support as you navigate this. You deserve to feel valued and loved in your relationship.
 

canuck78

VIP Member
Jun 18, 2017
55,589
13,521
Hi all,

I need your honest opinion, and I beg any of you to help me.

A and B have been in a long-distance relationship for five years. A is a Canadian citizen and works full-time, but A has muscular weakness, which means A cannot walk and uses a wheelchair. Despite this, A is highly educated, good-looking, generous, and intelligent. B is also educated, hardworking, and religious person. However B comes from a different background, B's family has concerns about their marriage because of A's disability. B has fought with their family for approval, and after many attempts, they finally agreed, but not completely.

A and B had a wonderful relationship when B was back home. They always found a way to resolve their issues during their conversations. They made plans for their future together, discussing everything from marriage and starting a family and ensuring equal access to each other’s finances and etc. However, since moving to Canada, things have shifted, and they haven’t been able to accomplish any of their goals.

Since B's family did not agree to the marriage, A's parents felt similarly, believing that B was only interested in A for Canadian status. B has always disagreed with this idea, insisting that their feelings are genuine and focused solely on A. Given A's physical disability, A's parents agreed to to allow A sponsor B on one condition: that B would pay a certain amount of money. They feared that if B took advantage of A, and come to Canada but did not marry A, then the money would protect A's interests. B agreed to this condition but has not taken any action or made a plan to make the payment, continually postponing it. After some time, B changed their mind, saying they would pay once they arrived in Canada, but A's parents disagreed.

Just so you know, involving family is a cultural norm and considered essential. B's family chose not to get involved, as it’s not a topic they prefer to discuss; only B was in contact with A and their parents.

After three years in their relationship, A realized that reaching an agreement or resolution was not happening. A loves B deeply, and B feels the same way. However, A understood that this situation couldn’t go on forever. A wondered how much longer they could wait, especially with no hope of B making the payment to A’s parents.

A decided to hire a lawyer and sponsor B through a conjugal application. A’s parents do not know that A has paid for everything. B has a business back home and used to make good money, but during COVID-19, the business declined, and B did not earn anything. As a result, A started supporting B financially. A did this because A wanted to build a life with B, who made many promises to work hard and provide A with a good life. However, the application was denied multiple times because immigration officials felt their relationship wasn't genuine. A persevered, refusing to give up, and even filed for a court hearing to seek the judge's approval for the application.

Application approved and B is now in Canada.

Due to their religion, A and B cannot live together until they are married. While the application was in process and before B traveled to Canada, B made financial promises to cover the costs of their small wedding with seven guests. As B's departure approached, there was still no update from B about where he would stay or how he would manage expenses, as he has no money. B has often said he would pay but has not provided a timeline. Legally, A is financially responsible for B, but B knows that A also has financial obligations. B does not expect A to support B financially because B is supposed to find a job and work.

When B arrived in Canada, A gave some money to B to send to A’s parents as reassurance that B was marrying A for love and not just for Canadian status. A’s parents accepted the money but held onto it, waiting for B to verbally approve its use for the small wedding. Due to cultural norms, they felt it would not be appropriate to use it or plan the wedding without B’s permission. B, however, did not speak up about this; being unshy and outgoing, B struggled to address the topic of marriage. In some cultures, it is customary for the groom’s family to initiate such discussions, and while some men might take the lead, many do not.

Eventually, the money was returned to B, who rented a room and began looking for a job. They maintained good contact over the phone, but when A suggested planning outings to restaurants or exploring the city, B consistently refused. Eventually, B found a cash job and started working long hours for a small wage.

After two months in Canada, B kept working but didn’t plan the wedding. A and their family often reached out to discuss wedding plans. They had a family meeting and agreed to get married in the summer. However, in private talks, B never started the conversations; it was always A. As summer got closer, A and their family asked B to begin planning, but B hesitated, saying B would block A because A always starts an arguments.

A’s parents wanted to understand why B was postponing everything and if he had changed his mind due to A’s disability. However, B consistently said no; he still wanted to marry A. Nevertheless, his unexplained delays frustrated A and made her wish that B would be clearer about his intentions. Instead, B avoided giving a reason and changed the subject.

Finally B got tired and inform A that they will get married in the fall.

B kept working but continued to say there was no chance to save money and hide his income from A. A believes B now has enough money to get married and start a new life together, but B insists there is no money.

In one of the conversations B suggested that A should start changing and learn not to ask B about money and even after get married.

Now that fall is approaching, A wants to plan the wedding, but B said he wants to travel back home to see family first and will plan the wedding upon B’s return.

A feels increasingly frustrated and disheartened by B’s constant postponements. B promised to marry A, but each time they discuss their plans, B finds a reason to delay. It feels as though A’s hopes are being dismissed, leading A to believe that B is taking advantage of their trust. A is left wondering if B truly values their relationship or if those promises are just empty words. Each delay makes A question whether B is genuinely committed to their future together, leaving A feeling anxious and uncertain about what lies ahead.

A and B had an argument a week ago, and A stopped communicating with B. B, however, didn’t seem to care and continued with life as usual.

A is heartbroken and deeply in pain because B has been lying to A. B works and saves money but never spends any on A or even on themselves. Even though B made many promises, A now sees that B never planned to keep them. A feels hurt and used, left in lots of pain and full of tears, knowing B never truly cared as they said they did. A now know that B is taking advantage of A.

A cannot forget B or move on because A is deeply attached to B and loves B so much. Despite all the pain and disappointment, A’s heart remains with B. Letting go feels impossible, as A’s love for B is too strong, making it hard to imagine life without them, even though B has hurt A.

Sometimes, A thinks about contacting the right department to file a marriage fraud lawsuit against B but isn’t sure if it’s the right thing to do. Other times, A hesitates, hoping that just seeing B from a distance, now that B is in Canada, might help heal some of the pain. However, A is afraid that B might use this chance to meet someone else, get married, and live a happy life while leaving A to suffer alone. A feels torn between taking action and holding on to the hope that B will change.


Any legal advice would be greatly appreciated.
You should consult a lawyer. The fact that you never lived together could prove that this was not a genuine conjugal relationship and should not be eligible for sponsorship. To protect yourself you may want to report the situation to IRCC.
 
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Reactions: Charlamanderxxxx

lifeisnotfair

Member
Oct 6, 2024
11
1
This is a lot to read and honestly some of it is pretty confusing. If the sponsor believes the applicant entered into a fraudulent relationship for the purposes of obtaining PR status, they can file a report with CBSA. It will be up to CBSA if they do something about this or not. That's the only real legal advice anyone here can give you.
Thank you for your advice.
 

lifeisnotfair

Member
Oct 6, 2024
11
1
You should consult a lawyer. The fact that you never lived together could prove that this was not a genuine conjugal relationship and should not be eligible for sponsorship. To protect yourself you may want to report the situation to IRCC.
Thank you so much.
 

lifeisnotfair

Member
Oct 6, 2024
11
1
I'm really sorry to hear about what you’re going through. It sounds like an incredibly tough situation. Here’s my take on it: First, it’s important to prioritize your emotional well-being. You’ve invested a lot of love and effort into this relationship, and it’s understandable to feel heartbroken and confused right now. It might help to take a step back and reflect on what you truly want. Think about your own needs and happiness. Communication is key in any relationship, and it sounds like there’s been a lot of avoidance from B’s side. When someone shows you how they feel about you, believe them.

However, be prepared for any outcome. If B continues to postpone or evade important conversations about your future, it might be a sign that they aren’t fully committed. You deserve someone who is excited about building a life with you and willing to take those steps. As for the legal side of things, it might be wise to consult with a lawyer who specializes in immigration or family law. They can help you understand your options, especially regarding the sponsorship and any potential implications of your situation. It’s also worth considering whether you want to pursue the idea of marriage fraud. That’s a big step and could have serious repercussions, so weigh that carefully.

Ultimately, trust your instincts. If it feels like you’re being taken for granted, it might be time to reassess whether this relationship is serving you. Moving on from someone who you discovered is no good for you is never easy, but as each day goes by it gets easier... you will realize how strong you are and you will thank yourself for not settling. When we let go of what is not good for us, we make room for someone else who is... Surround yourself with friends or family who can offer support as you navigate this. You deserve to feel valued and loved in your relationship.
Thank you for sharing your thoughts and advice me into the right direction. I will definitely took this advice.
 

armoured

VIP Member
Feb 1, 2015
17,276
8,887
This is a lot to read and honestly some of it is pretty confusing. If the sponsor believes the applicant entered into a fraudulent relationship for the purposes of obtaining PR status, they can file a report with CBSA. It will be up to CBSA if they do something about this or not. That's the only real legal advice anyone here can give you.
I agree with this but would underline: I think the chances IRCC/CBSA will do anything about this are quite slim, unless there is some absolutely clear 'smoking gun' of evidence that this whole situation was intentional.

Otherwise, the timeline and history (as stated) - with long involvement in Canada after his arrival - do not support a simple narrative of "he deceived me to get immigration status." The decision to reside separately and not get married immediately upon arrival was predicated on religious/cultural reasons (i.e. partly mutual), and the five year online relationship (if I understood dates) and long appeal process mitigate claims this was a simple fraud. The couple remained in contact until quite recently. This is simply going to look like a relationship that didn't work out.

Sorry, @lifeisnotfair, but the government is unlikely to resolve this problem for you. You can consult a lawyer about protecting yourself, as suggested above, but apart from cutting ties (assuming that is what you wish to do) and not providing any more monetary support, I don't see much that can be done. Your best bet/hope is that B will not make use of government assistance you've provided a guarantee for. Apart from that since you have not married or become common law, you do not seem likely to have any liabilities or other assets at risk (eg requests for support) by civil law.

Again, this is assuming that no clear evidence of intent to defraud you or the immigration system exists. That's likely the only basis on which CBSA or the police would even consider looking into this - because otherwise, it's purely a private matter.
 
Last edited:

scylla

VIP Member
Jun 8, 2010
95,856
22,114
Toronto
Category........
Visa Office......
Buffalo
Job Offer........
Pre-Assessed..
App. Filed.......
28-05-2010
AOR Received.
19-08-2010
File Transfer...
28-06-2010
Passport Req..
01-10-2010
VISA ISSUED...
05-10-2010
LANDED..........
05-10-2010
I agree with this but would underline: I think the chances IRCC/CBSA will do anything about this are quite slim, unless there is some absolutely clear 'smoking gun' of evidence that this whole situation was intentional.

Otherwise, the timeline and history (as stated) - with long involvement in Canada after his arrival - do not support a simple narrative of "he deceived me to get immigration status." The decision to reside separately and not get married immediately upon arrival was predicated on religious/cultural reasons, and the five year online relationship (if I understood dates) and long appeal process mitigate claims this was a simple fraud. The couple remained in contact until quite recently. This is simply going to look like a relationship that didn't work out.

Sorry, @lifeisnotfair, but the government is unlikely to resolve this problem for you. You can consult a lawyer about protecting yourself, as suggested above, but apart from cutting ties (assuming that is what you wish to do) and not providing any more monetary support, I don't see much that can be done. Your best bet/hope is that B will not make use of government assistance you've provided a guarantee for. Apart from that since you have not married or become common law, you do not seem likely to have any liabilities or other assets at risk (eg requests for support) by civil law.

Again, this is assuming that no clear evidence of intent to defraud you or the immigration system exists. That's likely the only basis on which CBSA or the police would even consider looking into this - because otherwise, it's purely a private matter.
I agree there's a decent chance CBSA will do nothing if this matter is reported.

I also think it's very clear that B has no intention of marrying A and that A needs to accept this and move on with life.
 

tee2406

Star Member
Jun 6, 2024
133
36
Hi all,

I need your honest opinion, and I beg any of you to help me.

A and B have been in a long-distance relationship for five years. A is a Canadian citizen and works full-time, but A has muscular weakness, which means A cannot walk and uses a wheelchair. Despite this, A is highly educated, good-looking, generous, and intelligent. B is also educated, hardworking, and religious person. However B comes from a different background, B's family has concerns about their marriage because of A's disability. B has fought with their family for approval, and after many attempts, they finally agreed, but not completely.

A and B had a wonderful relationship when B was back home. They always found a way to resolve their issues during their conversations. They made plans for their future together, discussing everything from marriage and starting a family and ensuring equal access to each other’s finances and etc. However, since moving to Canada, things have shifted, and they haven’t been able to accomplish any of their goals.

Since B's family did not agree to the marriage, A's parents felt similarly, believing that B was only interested in A for Canadian status. B has always disagreed with this idea, insisting that their feelings are genuine and focused solely on A. Given A's physical disability, A's parents agreed to to allow A sponsor B on one condition: that B would pay a certain amount of money. They feared that if B took advantage of A, and come to Canada but did not marry A, then the money would protect A's interests. B agreed to this condition but has not taken any action or made a plan to make the payment, continually postponing it. After some time, B changed their mind, saying they would pay once they arrived in Canada, but A's parents disagreed.

Just so you know, involving family is a cultural norm and considered essential. B's family chose not to get involved, as it’s not a topic they prefer to discuss; only B was in contact with A and their parents.

After three years in their relationship, A realized that reaching an agreement or resolution was not happening. A loves B deeply, and B feels the same way. However, A understood that this situation couldn’t go on forever. A wondered how much longer they could wait, especially with no hope of B making the payment to A’s parents.

A decided to hire a lawyer and sponsor B through a conjugal application. A’s parents do not know that A has paid for everything. B has a business back home and used to make good money, but during COVID-19, the business declined, and B did not earn anything. As a result, A started supporting B financially. A did this because A wanted to build a life with B, who made many promises to work hard and provide A with a good life. However, the application was denied multiple times because immigration officials felt their relationship wasn't genuine. A persevered, refusing to give up, and even filed for a court hearing to seek the judge's approval for the application.

Application approved and B is now in Canada.

Due to their religion, A and B cannot live together until they are married. While the application was in process and before B traveled to Canada, B made financial promises to cover the costs of their small wedding with seven guests. As B's departure approached, there was still no update from B about where he would stay or how he would manage expenses, as he has no money. B has often said he would pay but has not provided a timeline. Legally, A is financially responsible for B, but B knows that A also has financial obligations. B does not expect A to support B financially because B is supposed to find a job and work.

When B arrived in Canada, A gave some money to B to send to A’s parents as reassurance that B was marrying A for love and not just for Canadian status. A’s parents accepted the money but held onto it, waiting for B to verbally approve its use for the small wedding. Due to cultural norms, they felt it would not be appropriate to use it or plan the wedding without B’s permission. B, however, did not speak up about this; being unshy and outgoing, B struggled to address the topic of marriage. In some cultures, it is customary for the groom’s family to initiate such discussions, and while some men might take the lead, many do not.

Eventually, the money was returned to B, who rented a room and began looking for a job. They maintained good contact over the phone, but when A suggested planning outings to restaurants or exploring the city, B consistently refused. Eventually, B found a cash job and started working long hours for a small wage.

After two months in Canada, B kept working but didn’t plan the wedding. A and their family often reached out to discuss wedding plans. They had a family meeting and agreed to get married in the summer. However, in private talks, B never started the conversations; it was always A. As summer got closer, A and their family asked B to begin planning, but B hesitated, saying B would block A because A always starts an arguments.

A’s parents wanted to understand why B was postponing everything and if he had changed his mind due to A’s disability. However, B consistently said no; he still wanted to marry A. Nevertheless, his unexplained delays frustrated A and made her wish that B would be clearer about his intentions. Instead, B avoided giving a reason and changed the subject.

Finally B got tired and inform A that they will get married in the fall.

B kept working but continued to say there was no chance to save money and hide his income from A. A believes B now has enough money to get married and start a new life together, but B insists there is no money.

In one of the conversations B suggested that A should start changing and learn not to ask B about money and even after get married.

Now that fall is approaching, A wants to plan the wedding, but B said he wants to travel back home to see family first and will plan the wedding upon B’s return.

A feels increasingly frustrated and disheartened by B’s constant postponements. B promised to marry A, but each time they discuss their plans, B finds a reason to delay. It feels as though A’s hopes are being dismissed, leading A to believe that B is taking advantage of their trust. A is left wondering if B truly values their relationship or if those promises are just empty words. Each delay makes A question whether B is genuinely committed to their future together, leaving A feeling anxious and uncertain about what lies ahead.

A and B had an argument a week ago, and A stopped communicating with B. B, however, didn’t seem to care and continued with life as usual.

A is heartbroken and deeply in pain because B has been lying to A. B works and saves money but never spends any on A or even on themselves. Even though B made many promises, A now sees that B never planned to keep them. A feels hurt and used, left in lots of pain and full of tears, knowing B never truly cared as they said they did. A now know that B is taking advantage of A.

A cannot forget B or move on because A is deeply attached to B and loves B so much. Despite all the pain and disappointment, A’s heart remains with B. Letting go feels impossible, as A’s love for B is too strong, making it hard to imagine life without them, even though B has hurt A.

Sometimes, A thinks about contacting the right department to file a marriage fraud lawsuit against B but isn’t sure if it’s the right thing to do. Other times, A hesitates, hoping that just seeing B from a distance, now that B is in Canada, might help heal some of the pain. However, A is afraid that B might use this chance to meet someone else, get married, and live a happy life while leaving A to suffer alone. A feels torn between taking action and holding on to the hope that B will change.


Any legal advice would be greatly appreciated.
Its not marriage fraud because you were never married. When you applied what information did you tell the immigration officer, were you going to live together? were you going to get married right away?
Even if they might not do anything, you should just report him incase they do. He obviously had no intentions of being in a relationship with you but just wanted to move to Canada. That is fraud.
 

YVR123

VIP Member
Jul 27, 2017
7,412
2,885
It's a very long post and in terms of immigration, there are a lot of irrelevant information.
But if OP provided enough information to IRCC to proof for their conjugal relationship without spending much time living with each other, there is not much IRCC can do. The question is did OP and the conjugal partner actually had relationship as married couple before the application.

They can investigate or not after OP reported this as immigration fraud. I hope that OP didn't provide any false information to IRCC to get the application approved.
 

lifeisnotfair

Member
Oct 6, 2024
11
1
It's a very long post and in terms of immigration, there are a lot of irrelevant information.
But if OP provided enough information to IRCC to proof for their conjugal relationship without spending much time living with each other, there is not much IRCC can do. The question is did OP and the conjugal partner actually had relationship as married couple before the application.

They can investigate or not after OP reported this as immigration fraud. I hope that OP didn't provide any false information to IRCC to get the application approved.
Apologies for the long post.Thank you for your time replying here. How to proceed with making the report? Contact IRCC first to get a instructions or hire a lawyer.
 

lifeisnotfair

Member
Oct 6, 2024
11
1
Its not marriage fraud because you were never married. When you applied what information did you tell the immigration officer, were you going to live together? were you going to get married right away?
Even if they might not do anything, you should just report him incase they do. He obviously had no intentions of being in a relationship with you but just wanted to move to Canada. That is fraud.
Kindly share how to start the reporting process? Thank you
 

lifeisnotfair

Member
Oct 6, 2024
11
1
I agree with this but would underline: I think the chances IRCC/CBSA will do anything about this are quite slim, unless there is some absolutely clear 'smoking gun' of evidence that this whole situation was intentional.

Otherwise, the timeline and history (as stated) - with long involvement in Canada after his arrival - do not support a simple narrative of "he deceived me to get immigration status." The decision to reside separately and not get married immediately upon arrival was predicated on religious/cultural reasons (i.e. partly mutual), and the five year online relationship (if I understood dates) and long appeal process mitigate claims this was a simple fraud. The couple remained in contact until quite recently. This is simply going to look like a relationship that didn't work out.

Sorry, @lifeisnotfair, but the government is unlikely to resolve this problem for you. You can consult a lawyer about protecting yourself, as suggested above, but apart from cutting ties (assuming that is what you wish to do) and not providing any more monetary support, I don't see much that can be done. Your best bet/hope is that B will not make use of government assistance you've provided a guarantee for. Apart from that since you have not married or become common law, you do not seem likely to have any liabilities or other assets at risk (eg requests for support) by civil law.

Again, this is assuming that no clear evidence of intent to defraud you or the immigration system exists. That's likely the only basis on which CBSA or the police would even consider looking into this - because otherwise, it's purely a private matter.
Thank you for your reply. I agree that without clear proof of fraud, it’s unlikely that IRCC or CBSA will take action.

I will think about speaking to a lawyer to protect myself and make sure I’m not responsible for anything. Your advice to stop supporting and cut ties makes sense, and I have already stopped contacting.
 
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