Do you guys aLways fight during the sponsorship appLication?

[hanna747]

Question... those who are appLying for sponsorship, do you guys aLways fyt with your Long-distance husband/wife/partner during the appLication process?.. These past months, weeks, days... we fyt more often than before we passed our appLication.. maybe because of me asking my partner to do this and that, to get this and that.. and if my partner faiLs to do it, i get mad a LittLe... maybe because of the distance? cuz its harder to fix arguments if you guys are far from each other... aLso because of miscommunication? I Love my partner more than anyone in this worLd... maybe this is just testing our reLationship? my partner is very understanding too thats why im very Lucky. the good thing is we aLways try to communicate after fight and discuss it so we can make our reLationship stronger. i know despite these struggLes, we can make it. I wish everyone the best in Life!

 

[Mrs_Canuck]

Welcome to the world of marriage/partnership/immigration! Yes. This was normal for my hubby and I. I was so worried that we'do miss doing something in the application process so I kind of took over the organization of the application package in mid-process. I was stressed out and so was he so we were a bit short with each other.

The process itself can be long and frustrations with processing times can often cause stress that leads to lack of patience. I would get snippy with my husband if I asked him to call CIC and he would forget or if I felt like I was keeping updated on the file more than he was.

Don't worry, I believe that every couple should have to go through something like this as it truly beings you closer together in the end, often times for the case of outland applicants, much closer than being physically together.

This process can be brutal. However, if you are both willing to work through this with each other, this process will make you better as a couple.

 

[taffy7]

My husband is allergic to paper work so i did every thing. He only had to sign the forms. He had his medical done here in Canada and for police reports i download printed them off sent them to him with an addressed envelope, so that all he had to do was sign and put a stamp on them and post lol .. It saves any arguments.

 

[DanOCan]

We have been fortunate that the stress of this process has not caused us to fight. We were able to work together on the process together over Skype and email and get everything submitted without conflict.

Since then we just keep working on supporting each other when the stress over the wait gets to be too much or when we hit bumps on the road to immigration. I'm convinced this stress has made us a stronger couple in the long run as it has forced us to be fully open with each other and really talk about how we deal with this.

I cannot wait for the day when we get a positive answer and we don't have to wake up every morning wondering "Will today be the day?"

 

[fandv]

Question... those who are appLying for sponsorship, do you guys aLways fyt with your Long-distance husband/wife/partner during the appLication process?.. These past months, weeks, days... we fyt more often than before we passed our appLication.. maybe because of me asking my partner to do this and that, to get this and that.. and if my partner faiLs to do it, i get mad a LittLe... maybe because of the distance? cuz its harder to fix arguments if you guys are far from each other... aLso because of miscommunication? I Love my partner more than anyone in this worLd... maybe this is just testing our reLationship? my partner is very understanding too thats why im very Lucky. the good thing is we aLways try to communicate after fight and discuss it so we can make our reLationship stronger. i know despite these struggLes, we can make it. I wish everyone the best in Life!

Thankfully we never fought and in fact were a very good sponsorship team...lol....

But what you're experiencing still seems pretty normal...nothing to worry about...and yes, distance does make it harder and unfortunately it often makes couples fight... =/

 

[Coldstream63]

Question... those who are appLying for sponsorship, do you guys aLways fyt with your Long-distance husband/wife/partner during the appLication process?.. These past months, weeks, days... we fyt more often than before we passed our appLication.. maybe because of me asking my partner to do this and that, to get this and that.. and if my partner faiLs to do it, i get mad a LittLe... maybe because of the distance? cuz its harder to fix arguments if you guys are far from each other... aLso because of miscommunication? I Love my partner more than anyone in this worLd... maybe this is just testing our reLationship? my partner is very understanding too thats why im very Lucky. the good thing is we aLways try to communicate after fight and discuss it so we can make our reLationship stronger. i know despite these struggLes, we can make it. I wish everyone the best in Life!

A relationship will always see couples fight. It's normal. However, I think nost of us here know full well that long distance relationships add several layers of difficulty on top of that. The distance affects our ability to read body language, vocal tone, facial expression, and even the ability to reach out and give a reassuring hug. It sucks, plain and simple. THEN...add to that the stress that comes from the CIC process, where we are trying to jump through a myriad of hoops to get to the simple point where we can BE with our loved ones.

That all said, I don't think I can ever emphasise enough the need to have clear and healthy communication. Never go after your spouse saying "you did this" or "you said that", or whatever. The best bet is using "I Feel" language. "I feel hurt when you say that", or "I feel sad when such and such happens". That way, you can never be faulted for what you feel. I've found that this approach has better results than the way I used to.

 

[basketballfan]

HaHa - yes! I would get super frustrated - it took 6 months to pull it all together. It's just his personality, not detail oriented and laid back about things whereas I wanted to work on the paperwork on our honeymoon but he was not having that so... Things also move more slowly in his home country, perhaps the same applies in your partner's country - for example, my husband had to go to the panel physician several times before they would process an electronic medical form (we had to get CIC involved).

As my impatience grew my mother-in-law was there to let me know that I shouldn't take it personal or take it as a sign that he didn't want to come to Canada - so that's my advice to you. Don't overinterpret any conflicts related to this stressful process - support each other.

 

[sariss]

We thankfully never fought through the process.

 

[mikeymyke]

We never fought because my wife isn't in a rush to come to Canada. She just hopes that her medical passes, because she's pretty young and healthy, but deathly scared of getting a serious illness.

 

[little_apple]

We were together during the whole process but it was stressful, nerve-racking and yes, there were little fights. It wasn't just because of PR. I had to apply for a second work permit and two tourist visa, then had to stop working because my work permit expired and sat unemployed at home, going even crazier.

The process made us stronger and now that it's over everything is so wonderful

Don't forget: Even when you fight. Don't stop communicating. Talk about everything and you will be just fine. I'm glad to have a partner on my side who is a positive thinking man who wants to communicate every little "problem".

 

[CutiePie92]

hanna, key is to communicate and sort conflicts out. when we put together our app, we were in my homecountry and we fought just a bit (over small stuff). we always made up right away, we're a very loving couple so fights don't stand a chance ;D we both stressed a lot when we sent the app, but all this hoop-jumping made us stronger. being far away from each other makes it even worse. but as long as we love each other, we're commited to eliminate the distance in the future. hopefully, in 1 year from now i'll be in Canada with him.

i know this process is hard and nerve-wrecking but it's worth it in the end. hanna keep your head high. i wish you all the best !

 

[Hasan9999]

hanna, key is to communicate and sort conflicts out. when we put together our app, we were in my homecountry and we fought just a bit (over small stuff). we always made up right away, we're a very loving couple so fights don't stand a chance ;D we both stressed a lot when we sent the app, but all this hoop-jumping made us stronger. being far away from each other makes it even worse. but as long as we love each other, we're commited to eliminate the distance in the future. hopefully, in 1 year from now i'll be in Canada with him.

i know this process is hard and nerve-wrecking but it's worth it in the end. hanna keep your head high. i wish you all the best !

It is 14 months separation from my wife and children.

 

[andrewset]

Yes, all couples fight during this process. Anyone who says 'no we do not fight, we are very loving couple' are either too shy to admit that turmoil that this long distance is currently causing in their relationship or they are not really in 'love' with each other. Long distance makes every one fight because we do not see a face to the phone call or the email. Even if we think we are seeing someone on cam, even then the experience is still long distant.

At the end of it, it is all because of one and only one thing- FEAR. Fear of being separated from the loved one, fear of being disrepected, fear of being divorced, fear of being alone, fear of not being loved for the rest of your life. What is the first thing a baby experiences when it comes into this world- is it love, do you see all babies coming out with a big smile, or is it peace or is it joy- No. The answer is- FEAR. They are scared and so they start crying. FEAR is the most primal feeling for a human being and all our actions/ reactions are based out of FEAR. Not Love, Not respect, Not Joy, Not peace- FEAR. Even when a couple fight, like the way my wife and I fight as she is away from me, I realise that whatever she is doing is not to spite me or to attack me but she is 'afraid' that I maaaayyy do something and so she premptively strikes now. Now If I see that and I also react, then her fears seem to come true for her and she does more- So where does it end? It ends with you- DO NOT REACT. Take a deep breath and whatever your partner says or does, no matter how hurtful it is, choose to say two words of love. Yes, it will be difficult to swallow your ego but dont let this 'fear mongering' take your relationship over.
And if you can set this kind of precedent in a long distance relationship, when your partner is with you in person, you can do wonders with this attitude and soon you will find, whether the relationship sours or sweetens, you atleast would be a more happier person and will have a lighter heart.

 

[lynnie24]

Question... those who are appLying for sponsorship, do you guys aLways fyt with your Long-distance husband/wife/partner during the appLication process?.. These past months, weeks, days... we fyt more often than before we passed our appLication.. maybe because of me asking my partner to do this and that, to get this and that.. and if my partner faiLs to do it, i get mad a LittLe... maybe because of the distance? cuz its harder to fix arguments if you guys are far from each other... aLso because of miscommunication? I Love my partner more than anyone in this worLd... maybe this is just testing our reLationship? my partner is very understanding too thats why im very Lucky. the good thing is we aLways try to communicate after fight and discuss it so we can make our reLationship stronger. i know despite these struggLes, we can make it. I wish everyone the best in Life!



It's just but natural to argue or having some misunderstanding, when we argue that does not mean we are fighting...we are just expressing our frustrations..but we also need to understand that long distance relationship is not easy....and we knew it from the start but we still continue to choose this situation of having a long distance relationship...what we need is a lot of love and understanding...when me and my hubby experience dispute i will just say sorry and assured him how much i love him...and of course he will also do the same thing...we sometimes also need to have an open communication bali walang plastican yung alam ng bawat isa ang mga weaknesses ng isat isa...abnormal ang isang relationship na walang arguments....di ibig sabihin nag argue kayo nag away na...and i do not call it a fight either...mas dapat e express ang love kasi un dapat ang kailangan habang malayo sa isat isa...sabi nga ng hubby ko lagi sa akin just chillax.... everything wil be ok.

 

[lynnie24]

My husband is allergic to paper work so i did every thing. He only had to sign the forms. He had his medical done here in Canada and for police reports i download printed them off sent them to him with an addressed envelope, so that all he had to do was sign and put a stamp on them and post lol .. It saves any arguments.


Hehe i did the same thing to my hubby too! funny i thought ako lng gumawa ng ganito! cheers...may kakampi pala ako hehe...