Do you guys aLways fight during the sponsorship appLication?

[CutiePie92]

It ends with you- DO NOT REACT. Take a deep breath and whatever your partner says or does, no matter how hurtful it is, choose to say two words of love. Yes, it will be difficult to swallow your ego but dont let this 'fear mongering' take your relationship over.

while i agree that no one should let their ego in the way, what you suggest is a bit too extreme. i won't let my partner say very hurtful things to me, that is not ok. in the end we should respect each other! each one of us is important so "swallowing" the ego is not always the best solution. better talk it through and work through the differences. not reacting will give birth to other problems later. we should always say what we think (in a non-hurtful way of course). honesty is very important, especially when being in a long distance relationship.

 

[Leopold_31]

We didn't really fight.
We had some misunderstandings, because I wanted the application to be perfect so I was really anal about some details. And my wife was like "it won't matter lets just do it the quick and easy way". But I had it my way anyway so we were a bit grumpy at each other.
But maybe thankfully to my attention to detail she got her visa very quick and will be soon with me.

 

[Kysorb]

We didn't really fight.
We had some misunderstandings, because I wanted the application to be perfect so I was really anal about some details. And my wife was like "it won't matter lets just do it the quick and easy way". But I had it my way anyway so we were a bit grumpy at each other.
But maybe thankfully to my attention to detail she got her visa very quick and will be soon with me.

This was my experience as well, I live with my spouse in China and was running down the list of things we needed to get and would constantly get "Why do they want us to get/do that?" "The medical is $350 that's too expensive" (It was all coming out of "my" money, anyway, at least she was considering it was too expensive on my behalf.)

She wouldn't like my answer of "It does not matter what you or I think, that's what the paper says, that's what the paper gets".


Notarized/ Translated documents was a real pain because I wanted specifically and exactly what the paper asked to be written. My work and upbringing is very legalese, and we were in what I felt was the most back alley lawyers office I had ever been to. I was more than a little worried about getting the translation of the documents done correctly.. My wife got angry with my attitude and said " This lady is a professional don't you think she knows what we need. I don't need to tell her every detail." I laughed and replied something about the location and doubting very much that the people in this office were very experienced with the immigration requirements and documents of foreign countries... (Luckily no one in earshot spoke English, and in the end they did a much better job than I expected.)

That and the hour after that, was probably our worst "argument" of the process.

 

[soblue3]

ah, we had our argument once my husband started doing his part of the application and tests. He is kind of independent and wanted to do it all by himself. Well he hired an english teacher to help him with the translation of the forms. lol i am not sure if she really had no idea or just did it on purpose. But when she was filling out his application she wrote that we had a conjugal relationship and that it was arranged. At that point i told him to let her go because she will mess something else up. So he said that then he will do it himself. He did not want me to do it for him. But then when she downloaded all the forms on a flash drive for him to give to me i think she had some virus on her computer. The program she used to did the files totally messed up my computer, I nearly lost all my data as it kept freezing while i was trying to save the data before reformatting it. At that point i kind of lost it on him and his independence. lol. We were kind of sour for that day and the next but then things went back to normal and he let me help him with his application.

 

[Daantaat]

We have had a terrible past year waiting for my husband's PR. Now that he's landed and he just got a job (yay!) and we are slowly getting less stressed, things are getting much better. It's important to remember that eventually everything will work out and that you and your spouse are a team. If you can make it through this stressful time, your relationship will be all the better for it. Be strong and stay positive!