CHC, Islamabad Spouse Sponsorship Timeline 2009 -2010

[iftikhar505]

If u believe in living life to fullest and etc then I guess One should not get married (Come into NIKAH) unless u really know a person and both partners are compatible and bla bla. But come on. How can one be islamic and choose a partner based on compatibility and likes and dislikes. Arrange marriages are common in pakistan (somewhat) and usually cases like Sheraz occur throughtout the country. I dont know but one must see both sides of the picture before making any decisions and coming to any conclusions.Islam has given women and men the right to agree or disagree to any proposal and being in Pakistan a guy should ask the girl or vice versa before making any committment. Its easy to tie a knot but very hard to open it. Communication is the key. I just pray that may ALLAH guide both spouses in providing the best islamic environment for their children and live a happy life. Becoz at the end of the day they only have eachother to comfort and support. Wish u all a blessed and happy marital life. INSHAH ALLAH

Oh God you sounds like you would rather be happy without being married unless you know your partner well. That is not true all the time because people change too and some of them change after the marriage as well. now islam does not prevent for them to ask question to each other to check your priorities with each other and you don't have to drink and dance to do unislamic things to be happy or live your life to the fullest. It is also not to look for so much combatibility in each other but rather respect each other differences to live your life happily because Allah had created women different than men so I do respect those differences but at the same time still enjoys the company of each other.

 

[s_design]

I understand your feeling brother. As I remember you can do ISTIKHARA couple of times. Try to take another chance and see what comes up 2nd time.
When she came in your Nikkah ,it become your responsibility to take care of all matter with cool mind ,honesty and Justice. Atleast give little bit more time to yourself and your wife.Allah app ki madad farmay "Ameen"

Remember ,You are also very close to get PPR and I think kafi maslay solve hoo jain gay os waqt.

Take Care of yourself

My mother did istikahra long time ago but she got a negative result but she dismissed it and stayed positive. I did the istikhara last week and after that my wife for the first time told me very clearly that she does not want a loving relationship and she blamed all the issues on my attitude. At that time this was enough for me to see as a sign from Allah and my decision for very easy at that time.

I understand the meaning the Nikkah and I always took care of her financially and any other way she wanted, yet she kept saying to me that it is only Nikkah and she is not really my wife yet. Nikkah is can not be done by one side only.

 

[iftikhar505]

I am not worried at all, in fact my heart is completely at peace right now.

Even if you feel little down at the moment, don't worry TIME IS A GREAT HEALER.

 

[s_design]

s_design brother final decision will be yours but most of us would suggest that you do istikhara first and give your relation a second chance. Marriage is an art, one has to go through many things. it is how one sees and deals with situation. Finishing it off is the easiest solution but you both should get together and talk it out in person before you come to a solution.
May Allah guide you with the best.

Trust me brother, after my old parents traveled to Pakistan, did all the work to do the rishta, and after two years of my emotional, financial and everything other investment, ending it was the easiest solution.

 

[s_design]

bhai ....yeh qamalik aur kachra bhai app ko ek dafa aur try karne ko is liyai khai rahe hain.......takai sub solve hojaey(app ki batare kai liyai)....well app batar jante ho baki app ki marzi so b happy always

I know sis, I know everyone here cares for me and wish what is best for me. And I really appreciate it.

 

[s_design]

Bhai i am not tellin him to leave her... i was the first to post n tell him to think bout it
but its his life decision./.... n i agree wit u girls some are different back there...

but again s_design knos better wat he is doing in his life...
we are no one to tell him anyhitng
we can advice him n talk wit him which i did but he is makin his decision himself...

I wish i could have then stay together n be happy n i always pray that this stuff never happens in anyones life...

still s_design bhai THINK IT realllli HARDD for a week or soo n then make a decision

Thank you sis for your kind words, but as I said my wife told me she does not want emotional relationship the first time we spoke that was two years ago and she never changed her mind. It was not the matter of one week I had two years to think about this decision.

 

[s_design]

I hear your brother. I think you made the right decision for yourself. From what you said, it seems like you two have totally different personalities and it would have been even more painful when she would have got here and still dictated the distance b/w you two. Again, if you did Istikhara and it feels like getting rid of a huge burden over your chest, then this is the right decision indeed. I have seen couples who are totally different and there is no balance in the relationship. Sooner or later they split, sometimes they split after having kids which is horrible for the kids. Always go with what your heart says and your brain approves. If a man or a woman is not happy with each other then its better to part ways sooner than later.

Also, when you think about getting married again, make sure you know the other person real well and are compatible with each other. I wish you all the very best in your future. May Allah give you all the happiness in this world.. Ameen

Thank you brother, yes I certainly feel that I have done the right thing. Almost six months ago when things got bad I discussed this matter with my mother and father and I told them that I am thinking about leaving her. At that time they were really against my decision and told me to at least let her come to Canada. I did not want, but I listened to them and did not take that step.

This time after I did the istekhara, and I did not tell them about the istekhara. And when I told them about the decision for some reason they agreed with me as well, which was another big sign for me that Allah has also put this in their hearts. And that was another reason I knew it was the right decision.

 

[Imtihaan]

Oh God you sounds like you would rather be happy without being married unless you know your partner well. That is not true all the time because people change too and some of them change after the marriage as well. now islam does not prevent for them to ask question to each other to check your priorities with each other and you don't have to drink and dance to do unislamic things to be happy or live your life to the fullest. It is also not to look for so much combatibility in each other but rather respect each other differences to live your life happily because Allah had created women different than men so I do respect those differences but at the same time still enjoys the company of each other.

Iftikhar dear , u took me wrong again. I was trying to say the same thing. I guess I am not good at expressing myself. I married my husband without even seeing his pic. I left everything on ALLAH and let my parents and bros decide. And I hit the jackpot. ALHUMDULILLAH. I saw him after Nikkah.

 

[s_design]

s_design bro, if you feel you made the right decision. Then you certainly did.

If "I love u" was not even said once. And no excitement for visit visa. Then there is some sort of a problem.

I understand how you might feel but sometimes these types of decisions are to be made for a better future.

At the end of the day, its your decision and no one can influence it.

I wish you all the best in the future. Inshallah there is a better person in the future for you.

My prayers are with you.

Thank you brother, and as I mentioned before that, this is just few things that I have mentioned. Please remember me in your prayers.

 

[s_design]

Brother from your perspective it was the right decision and thats what counts

May Allah take away ur hardship and bless u with happiness

Thank you brother. May Allah bring happiness in your life as well. Ameen!

 

[Imtihaan]

S design,
Thank you for understanding that we all want you to be happy. Thats the priority.

 

[sawera]

I know sis, I know everyone here cares for me and wish what is best for me. And I really appreciate it.

bhai u r happy so we all r happy ...now just chill

 

[s_design]

I feel there is more to a marital relationship then "I LOVE YOU". As far as visit visa excitement goes, thats nothing to be so crazy about since in Pakistan you cant even go out with ur NIKKAHed spouse forget about touching him/her.

I know there is much more to a relationship that "I love you" but my point was that we did not even had that. For the visit visa, we were suppose to do the Rukhsati but she was not thrilled about it before the completion of the sponsorship.

 

[sawera]

Iftikhar dear , u took me wrong again. I was trying to say the same thing. I guess I am not good at expressing myself. I married my husband without even seeing his pic. I left everything on ALLAH and let my parents and bros decide. And I hit the jackpot. ALHUMDULILLAH. I saw him after Nikkah.

waoh.......thats great.......wasai tu har larki ki nyeh he koish hote hai kai lakai ko dekhe..........app ki bare baat hai.

 

[Imtihaan]

I know there is much more to a relationship that "I love you" but my point was that we did not even had that. For the visit visa, we were suppose to do the Rukhsati but she was not thrilled about it before the completion of the sponsorship.

I apologize s_design for speaking out loud without the background info.