CHC, Islamabad Spouse Sponsorship Timeline 2009 -2010

[sawera]

sis its a village , she doesnt have computer

i filled out the forms before so i filled them out agian m

my file went in process april 12 so i dont know what they will request

just in case she has everything ready to send

Ok then it's good... Just take a risk... Hope it works for u.

 

[Tinko]

how much time they will take after submitting re-pcc and imm forms.
i got my GCMS they update my file on march 27 and on april 16 that they received the doc but not anything showing started.

They should've given you a reference number?

 

[Allah Madat]

sis its a village , she doesnt have computer

i filled out the forms before so i filled them out agian m

my file went in process april 12 so i dont know what they will request

just in case she has everything ready to send

Hopefully they wont ask her for anything but to be on the safe side send her the documents. its worth taking a risk in this case.

 

[maham noor]

EXACTLY....WELL I PUTTED A CHOCALATE INSIDE THE CARD I THOUGHT MAY B CHOCALATE MELTED N THTS ONE OF THE REASON MAY B.....BUT NOW I UNDERSTAND ITS NOTHING TO DO WITH THAT CHOCALATE THINGEE ALMOST LYK $50 GONE.

mu hubby sent me the very first gift that was a watch through express post(i dont knw what was going through his mind) that i never received ....
although he got full compensation from the post services
then he send me sunglasses through dhl that i got on 5th day...
n the latest is my credit card that he send through post canada(i dont knw whats wrong wd him) n that was detained by the custom officials here in lahore n then i have to go to gpo to get it released
there is no problm wd post canada it is that all the post canada parcels get handed over to pakistan post n th its upto them that they want to deliver it or not....

 

[sawera]

mu hubby sent me the very first gift that was a watch through express post(i dont knw what was going through his mind) that i never received ....
although he got full compensation from the post services
then he send me sunglasses through dhl that i got on 5th day...
n the latest is my credit card that he send through post canada(i dont knw whats wrong wd him) n that was detained by the custom officials here in lahore n then i have to go to gpo to get it released
there is no problm wd post canada it is that all the post canada parcels get handed over to pakistan post n th its upto them that they want to deliver it or not....

yah paki land mai jaa kai he kharabi shoroo ho jate hai.....but woh he na canada post kai through bejo tu he asa hota hai,express post bhi canada post kai through he deliver hote hai .......well for me i hate dhl......fedex is the best.....chalo tumare hubby ko compensation tu milgaya.....so how u guys track the latest credit one coz their is no tracking number on that.

 

[s_design]

THINK before u speak
T is it true
H is it helpful
I is it ins......

u live in Canada n basicalli u have everything u can n ask for,... but those poor people try
to make a living n get somewhere wit reall hardship.... n soo much problems....
u must be here Shiny Night that could get her out of a terrible place like that....

Thank you all my friends for all the support and love, and if I call you friends I think you also deserve to know why I decided to end my marriage. Sorry I did not explain before but it was tough for me to share these things on the forum and it is still hard but I know many people here care about me so I have decided to share my story...

Our marriage (Nikkah only) was arranged so it was only three days after the Nikkah that I spoke to my wife for the first time. Few minutes in to our phone conversation she told me that she do not want to have a emotional relationship between us. I was sad to hear it because I really wanted to share everything with her and emotional connection was a very important part, at least for me. She explained that because we will be living so far away from each other, it will be easier to wait for each other if we are not emotionally close to each other. I did not argue with her because I thought she is only saying that and with time she will realize that she cannot plan how a relationship will develop, and I hoped that with time she will forget about this logic and we will fall in love with each other.

But as time passed we did not come emotionally close, and any time we developed feelings for each other she repeated the same thing that if she let her feelings take control she will have hard time waiting for me, and she doesn't want to have that problem. At that time the sponsorship time was only 12 months, and I thought it will be fine as the wait will be over soon and she will get over this problem as well.

Few more months passed and the sponsorship time went from 12 months to 20 months. It was really stressful for me because I felt our relationship getting weaker and weaker with time. And even though we did not have emotional connection, we were even losing the excitement and interest in each other that we had in the beginning. I asked her to remove the walls she had put up around herself, so that we can come closer and support each other, because now the wait was getting really long and I felt this is the time we can really use to make our relationship stronger.

This time she changed her logic and said its not just the wait, that she will find hard if she comes emotionally close to me, she explained that because in her past all the people that she had loved have gone away from her so now she can not let anyone come close to her anymore. She gave the examples of her sister who got married and went to Canada, and her brother who left for England to study, and when she was very young she had friends in her neighborhood but when her family moved she lost her friends. When I tried really hard to get her out of this shell, she said that she can only get over it once we are physically close.

Dealing with this situation, I was not just losing my mind I was also losing my health. I lost lot of weight, and felt really drained of energy all the time. Saw a doctor and I was diagnosed with ulcer in my stomach. But even then I did not lose hope and kept positive and kept trying to be close to her. I shared this issue with one of my friends and he suggested that if my wife thinks that physical closeness will end her psychological issues then I should ask her to apply for a visit visa.

I was really excited about this idea, and I called her the minute I came home. He reaction to this idea really surprised me, she was not excited at all and told me that she does not want to come to Canada until she gets her sponsorship completed. At that time I had lost all patience with her, and I stopped putting any effort in the relationship. I thought if I step back maybe she will do the effort to come close to me. Talking on the phone from two or three times a day we went to talking two or three time a week, then few weeks later it became once a week and then it became once a month.

At this time it had already been more then one year since our Nikkah and I had never shared this issue with anyone in the family. At that time I thought maybe if I tell my mother and her mother, they can tell her to make the change in her personality. Her mother she said that her daughter was right because it was only Nikkah and we were not really married so I should not expect too much from her. She said that it is because she is shy and she will get over it after we start living together.

I tried to explain to her mother all the problems but she did not see it my way. So I told them that either my wife will make the change in herself or she will not come to Canada because right now it is only Nikkah but once we are fully married, her personality will destroy both of our lives. But even after this she kept saying that she need to keep limitations between us and things between us did not improve.

After one and a half year into our relationship we had another big fight when she told be the same thing. This time her mother and her told me that she will not repeat these things and will do the effort to make this relationship stronger. Again time passed and even though she never said that she can not be emotionally close to me but she never did any efforts to create any kind of emotional closeness between us.

Last week I asked her, "dont you think its strange that in two years we never said love you to each other" She got really annoyed and asked me "why do you want a relationship in which we say love you to each other all the time?" I said I am not complaining that we don't say it all the time, I am saying we NEVER said it. She said she is not expressive like this... She said she is happy with the relationship the way it is and if I am not happy the problem is really only in my head. And that I should be happy with what I have instead of worrying about what I don't have.

In a way she was right, only if I could stop worrying about what I did not have, I could have lived my life happily. But how can I be happy without love in my life? In my heart I knew she will never love me, and we will live our lives like roommates, talking to each other only when we need to, nothing more nothing less. After I made the decision, I felt as if a huge weight had been lifted off my chest, at that time I knew I made the right decision.

I always thought I will be leaving this forum under happier circumstances, and I am sad to be leaving like this, but if anyone still needs to contact me, you can send me PM and I will make sure to answer it. Love all the friends here who always took time to help and support me.

Bye guys

 

[sawera]

Thank you all my friends for all the support and love, and if I call you friends I think you also deserve to know why I decided to end my marriage. Sorry I did not explain before but it was tough for me to share these things on the forum and it is still hard but I know many people here care about me so I have decided to share my story...

Our marriage (Nikkah only) was arranged so it was only three days after the Nikkah that I spoke to my wife for the first time. Few minutes in to our phone conversation she told me that she do not want to have a emotional relationship between us. I was sad to hear it because I really wanted to share everything with her and emotional connection was a very important part, at least for me. She explained that because we will be living so far away from each other, it will be easier to wait for each other if we are not emotionally close to each other. I did not argue with her because I thought she is only saying that and with time she will realize that she cannot plan how a relationship will develop, and I hoped that with time she will forget about this logic and we will fall in love with each other.

But as time passed we did not come emotionally close, and any time we developed feelings for each other she repeated the same thing that if she let her feelings take control she will have hard time waiting for me, and she doesn't want to have that problem. At that time the sponsorship time was only 12 months, and I thought it will be fine as the wait will be over soon and she will get over this problem as well.

Few more months passed and the sponsorship time went from 12 months to 20 months. It was really stressful for me because I felt our relationship getting weaker and weaker with time. And even though we did not have emotional connection, we were even losing the excitement and interest in each other that we had in the beginning. I asked her to remove the walls she had put up around herself, so that we can come closer and support each other, because now the wait was getting really long and I felt this is the time we can really use to make our relationship stronger.

This time she changed her logic and said its not just the wait, that she will find hard if she comes emotionally close to me, she explained that because in her past all the people that she had loved have gone away from her so now she can not let anyone come close to her anymore. She gave the examples of her sister who got married and went to Canada, and her brother who left for England to study, and when she was very young she had friends in her neighborhood but when her family moved she lost her friends. When I tried really hard to get her out of this shell, she said that she can only get over it once we are physically close.

Dealing with this situation, I was not just losing my mind I was also losing my health. I lost lot of weight, and felt really drained of energy all the time. Saw a doctor and I was diagnosed with ulcer in my stomach. But even then I did not lose hope and kept positive and kept trying to be close to her. I shared this issue with one of my friends and he suggested that if my wife thinks that physical closeness will end her psychological issues then I should ask her to apply for a visit visa.

I was really excited about this idea, and I called her the minute I came home. He reaction to this idea really surprised me, she was not excited at all and told me that she does not want to come to Canada until he gets her sponsorship completed. At that time I had lost all patience with her, and I stopped putting any effort in the relationship. I thought if I step back maybe she will do the effort to come close to me. Talking on the phone from two or three times a day we went to talking two or three time a week, then few weeks later it became once a week and then it became once a month.

At this time it had already been more then one year since our Nikkah and I had never shared this issue with anyone in the family. At that time I thought maybe if I tell my mother and her mother, they can tell her to make the change in her personality. Her mother she said that her daughter was right because it was only Nikkah and we were not really married so I should not expect too much from her. She said that it is because she is shy and she will get over it after we start living together.

I tried to explain to her mother all the problems but she did not see it my way. So I told them that either my wife will make the change in herself or she will not come to Canada because right now it is only Nikkah but once we are fully married, her personality will destroy both of our lives. But even after this she kept saying that she need to keep limitations between us and things between us did not improve.

After one and a half year into our relationship we had another big fight when she told be the same thing. This time her mother and her told be that she will not repeat these things and will do the effort to make this relationship stronger. Again time passed and even though she never said that she can not be emotionally close to me but she never did any efforts to create any kind of emotional closeness between us.

Last week I asked her, "dont you think its strange that in two years we never said love you to each other" She got really annoyed and asked me "why do you want a relationship in which we say love you to each other all the time?" I said I am not complaining that we don't say it all the time, I am saying we NEVER said it. She said she is not expressive like this... She said she is happy with the relationship the way it is and if I am not happy the problem is really only in my head. And that I should be happy with what I have instead of worrying about what I don't have.

In a way she was right, only if I could stop worrying about what I did not have, I could have lived my life happily. But how can I be happy without love in my life? In my heart I knew she will never love me, and we will live our lives like roommates, talking to each other only when we need to, nothing more nothing less. After I made the decision, I felt as if a huge weight had been lifted off my chest, at that time I knew I made the right decision.

I always thought I will be leaving this forum under happier circumstances, and I am sad to be leaving like this, but if anyone one stills need to contact me, you can send me PM and I will make sure to answer it. Love all the friends here how always took time to help and support me.

Bye guys

brother dont worry......u made a good decision......inshallah all b good with u.....i wish u'll find better one then her who will understand u.

 

[Khilafah5]

real said brother

May ALLAH bless u with happiness and take away ur hardship

Thank you all my friends for all the support and love, and if I call you friends I think you also deserve to know why I decided to end my marriage. Sorry I did not explain before but it was tough for me to share these things on the forum and it is still hard but I know many people here care about me so I have decided to share my story...

Our marriage (Nikkah only) was arranged so it was only three days after the Nikkah that I spoke to my wife for the first time. Few minutes in to our phone conversation she told me that she do not want to have a emotional relationship between us. I was sad to hear it because I really wanted to share everything with her and emotional connection was a very important part, at least for me. She explained that because we will be living so far away from each other, it will be easier to wait for each other if we are not emotionally close to each other. I did not argue with her because I thought she is only saying that and with time she will realize that she cannot plan how a relationship will develop, and I hoped that with time she will forget about this logic and we will fall in love with each other.

But as time passed we did not come emotionally close, and any time we developed feelings for each other she repeated the same thing that if she let her feelings take control she will have hard time waiting for me, and she doesn't want to have that problem. At that time the sponsorship time was only 12 months, and I thought it will be fine as the wait will be over soon and she will get over this problem as well.

Few more months passed and the sponsorship time went from 12 months to 20 months. It was really stressful for me because I felt our relationship getting weaker and weaker with time. And even though we did not have emotional connection, we were even losing the excitement and interest in each other that we had in the beginning. I asked her to remove the walls she had put up around herself, so that we can come closer and support each other, because now the wait was getting really long and I felt this is the time we can really use to make our relationship stronger.

This time she changed her logic and said its not just the wait, that she will find hard if she comes emotionally close to me, she explained that because in her past all the people that she had loved have gone away from her so now she can not let anyone come close to her anymore. She gave the examples of her sister who got married and went to Canada, and her brother who left for England to study, and when she was very young she had friends in her neighborhood but when her family moved she lost her friends. When I tried really hard to get her out of this shell, she said that she can only get over it once we are physically close.

Dealing with this situation, I was not just losing my mind I was also losing my health. I lost lot of weight, and felt really drained of energy all the time. Saw a doctor and I was diagnosed with ulcer in my stomach. But even then I did not lose hope and kept positive and kept trying to be close to her. I shared this issue with one of my friends and he suggested that if my wife thinks that physical closeness will end her psychological issues then I should ask her to apply for a visit visa.

I was really excited about this idea, and I called her the minute I came home. He reaction to this idea really surprised me, she was not excited at all and told me that she does not want to come to Canada until he gets her sponsorship completed. At that time I had lost all patience with her, and I stopped putting any effort in the relationship. I thought if I step back maybe she will do the effort to come close to me. Talking on the phone from two or three times a day we went to talking two or three time a week, then few weeks later it became once a week and then it became once a month.

At this time it had already been more then one year since our Nikkah and I had never shared this issue with anyone in the family. At that time I thought maybe if I tell my mother and her mother, they can tell her to make the change in her personality. Her mother she said that her daughter was right because it was only Nikkah and we were not really married so I should not expect too much from her. She said that it is because she is shy and she will get over it after we start living together.

I tried to explain to her mother all the problems but she did not see it my way. So I told them that either my wife will make the change in herself or she will not come to Canada because right now it is only Nikkah but once we are fully married, her personality will destroy both of our lives. But even after this she kept saying that she need to keep limitations between us and things between us did not improve.

After one and a half year into our relationship we had another big fight when she told be the same thing. This time her mother and her told be that she will not repeat these things and will do the effort to make this relationship stronger. Again time passed and even though she never said that she can not be emotionally close to me but she never did any efforts to create any kind of emotional closeness between us.

Last week I asked her, "dont you think its strange that in two years we never said love you to each other" She got really annoyed and asked me "why do you want a relationship in which we say love you to each other all the time?" I said I am not complaining that we don't say it all the time, I am saying we NEVER said it. She said she is not expressive like this... She said she is happy with the relationship the way it is and if I am not happy the problem is really only in my head. And that I should be happy with what I have instead of worrying about what I don't have.

In a way she was right, only if I could stop worrying about what I did not have, I could have lived my life happily. But how can I be happy without love in my life? In my heart I knew she will never love me, and we will live our lives like roommates, talking to each other only when we need to, nothing more nothing less. After I made the decision, I felt as if a huge weight had been lifted off my chest, at that time I knew I made the right decision.

I always thought I will be leaving this forum under happier circumstances, and I am sad to be leaving like this, but if anyone one stills need to contact me, you can send me PM and I will make sure to answer it. Love all the friends here how always took time to help and support me.

Bye guys

 

[R.Mujgani]

I pray that you get remed and PPR just now so he can travel with the passport he has. Ameen

u r soo sweet bhai i was tryin to give u a +1 but its said to wait lol 168 hours before i can gave u another loll

thank u and
AMEEN Insha'allah everything is easy for Allah swt
n Insha'allah we will all hear good news

 

[R.Mujgani]

Thank you all my friends for all the support and love, and if I call you friends I think you also deserve to know why I decided to end my marriage. Sorry I did not explain before but it was tough for me to share these things on the forum and it is still hard but I know many people here care about me so I have decided to share my story...

Our marriage (Nikkah only) was arranged so it was only three days after the Nikkah that I spoke to my wife for the first time. Few minutes in to our phone conversation she told me that she do not want to have a emotional relationship between us. I was sad to hear it because I really wanted to share everything with her and emotional connection was a very important part, at least for me. She explained that because we will be living so far away from each other, it will be easier to wait for each other if we are not emotionally close to each other. I did not argue with her because I thought she is only saying that and with time she will realize that she cannot plan how a relationship will develop, and I hoped that with time she will forget about this logic and we will fall in love with each other.

But as time passed we did not come emotionally close, and any time we developed feelings for each other she repeated the same thing that if she let her feelings take control she will have hard time waiting for me, and she doesn't want to have that problem. At that time the sponsorship time was only 12 months, and I thought it will be fine as the wait will be over soon and she will get over this problem as well.

Few more months passed and the sponsorship time went from 12 months to 20 months. It was really stressful for me because I felt our relationship getting weaker and weaker with time. And even though we did not have emotional connection, we were even losing the excitement and interest in each other that we had in the beginning. I asked her to remove the walls she had put up around herself, so that we can come closer and support each other, because now the wait was getting really long and I felt this is the time we can really use to make our relationship stronger.

This time she changed her logic and said its not just the wait, that she will find hard if she comes emotionally close to me, she explained that because in her past all the people that she had loved have gone away from her so now she can not let anyone come close to her anymore. She gave the examples of her sister who got married and went to Canada, and her brother who left for England to study, and when she was very young she had friends in her neighborhood but when her family moved she lost her friends. When I tried really hard to get her out of this shell, she said that she can only get over it once we are physically close.

Dealing with this situation, I was not just losing my mind I was also losing my health. I lost lot of weight, and felt really drained of energy all the time. Saw a doctor and I was diagnosed with ulcer in my stomach. But even then I did not lose hope and kept positive and kept trying to be close to her. I shared this issue with one of my friends and he suggested that if my wife thinks that physical closeness will end her psychological issues then I should ask her to apply for a visit visa.

I was really excited about this idea, and I called her the minute I came home. He reaction to this idea really surprised me, she was not excited at all and told me that she does not want to come to Canada until she gets her sponsorship completed. At that time I had lost all patience with her, and I stopped putting any effort in the relationship. I thought if I step back maybe she will do the effort to come close to me. Talking on the phone from two or three times a day we went to talking two or three time a week, then few weeks later it became once a week and then it became once a month.

At this time it had already been more then one year since our Nikkah and I had never shared this issue with anyone in the family. At that time I thought maybe if I tell my mother and her mother, they can tell her to make the change in her personality. Her mother she said that her daughter was right because it was only Nikkah and we were not really married so I should not expect too much from her. She said that it is because she is shy and she will get over it after we start living together.

I tried to explain to her mother all the problems but she did not see it my way. So I told them that either my wife will make the change in herself or she will not come to Canada because right now it is only Nikkah but once we are fully married, her personality will destroy both of our lives. But even after this she kept saying that she need to keep limitations between us and things between us did not improve.

After one and a half year into our relationship we had another big fight when she told be the same thing. This time her mother and her told me that she will not repeat these things and will do the effort to make this relationship stronger. Again time passed and even though she never said that she can not be emotionally close to me but she never did any efforts to create any kind of emotional closeness between us.

Last week I asked her, "dont you think its strange that in two years we never said love you to each other" She got really annoyed and asked me "why do you want a relationship in which we say love you to each other all the time?" I said I am not complaining that we don't say it all the time, I am saying we NEVER said it. She said she is not expressive like this... She said she is happy with the relationship the way it is and if I am not happy the problem is really only in my head. And that I should be happy with what I have instead of worrying about what I don't have.

In a way she was right, only if I could stop worrying about what I did not have, I could have lived my life happily. But how can I be happy without love in my life? In my heart I knew she will never love me, and we will live our lives like roommates, talking to each other only when we need to, nothing more nothing less. After I made the decision, I felt as if a huge weight had been lifted off my chest, at that time I knew I made the right decision.

I always thought I will be leaving this forum under happier circumstances, and I am sad to be leaving like this, but if anyone still needs to contact me, you can send me PM and I will make sure to answer it. Love all the friends here who always took time to help and support me.

Bye guys

That is realli sad to hear bhai, i guess she is not interested n if she doesnt want it then u have made the right decision n I wish u a happy life ahead of u....

Take a break from here n everything n go for a one week vacation alone to somewhere u like.... n
wen u come back everything will start from fresh

 

[qamalik729]

Thank you all my friends for all the support and love, and if I call you friends I think you also deserve to know why I decided to end my marriage. Sorry I did not explain before but it was tough for me to share these things on the forum and it is still hard but I know many people here care about me so I have decided to share my story...

Our marriage (Nikkah only) was arranged so it was only three days after the Nikkah that I spoke to my wife for the first time. Few minutes in to our phone conversation she told me that she do not want to have a emotional relationship between us. I was sad to hear it because I really wanted to share everything with her and emotional connection was a very important part, at least for me. She explained that because we will be living so far away from each other, it will be easier to wait for each other if we are not emotionally close to each other. I did not argue with her because I thought she is only saying that and with time she will realize that she cannot plan how a relationship will develop, and I hoped that with time she will forget about this logic and we will fall in love with each other.

But as time passed we did not come emotionally close, and any time we developed feelings for each other she repeated the same thing that if she let her feelings take control she will have hard time waiting for me, and she doesn't want to have that problem. At that time the sponsorship time was only 12 months, and I thought it will be fine as the wait will be over soon and she will get over this problem as well.

Few more months passed and the sponsorship time went from 12 months to 20 months. It was really stressful for me because I felt our relationship getting weaker and weaker with time. And even though we did not have emotional connection, we were even losing the excitement and interest in each other that we had in the beginning. I asked her to remove the walls she had put up around herself, so that we can come closer and support each other, because now the wait was getting really long and I felt this is the time we can really use to make our relationship stronger.

This time she changed her logic and said its not just the wait, that she will find hard if she comes emotionally close to me, she explained that because in her past all the people that she had loved have gone away from her so now she can not let anyone come close to her anymore. She gave the examples of her sister who got married and went to Canada, and her brother who left for England to study, and when she was very young she had friends in her neighborhood but when her family moved she lost her friends. When I tried really hard to get her out of this shell, she said that she can only get over it once we are physically close.

Dealing with this situation, I was not just losing my mind I was also losing my health. I lost lot of weight, and felt really drained of energy all the time. Saw a doctor and I was diagnosed with ulcer in my stomach. But even then I did not lose hope and kept positive and kept trying to be close to her. I shared this issue with one of my friends and he suggested that if my wife thinks that physical closeness will end her psychological issues then I should ask her to apply for a visit visa.

I was really excited about this idea, and I called her the minute I came home. He reaction to this idea really surprised me, she was not excited at all and told me that she does not want to come to Canada until she gets her sponsorship completed. At that time I had lost all patience with her, and I stopped putting any effort in the relationship. I thought if I step back maybe she will do the effort to come close to me. Talking on the phone from two or three times a day we went to talking two or three time a week, then few weeks later it became once a week and then it became once a month.

At this time it had already been more then one year since our Nikkah and I had never shared this issue with anyone in the family. At that time I thought maybe if I tell my mother and her mother, they can tell her to make the change in her personality. Her mother she said that her daughter was right because it was only Nikkah and we were not really married so I should not expect too much from her. She said that it is because she is shy and she will get over it after we start living together.

I tried to explain to her mother all the problems but she did not see it my way. So I told them that either my wife will make the change in herself or she will not come to Canada because right now it is only Nikkah but once we are fully married, her personality will destroy both of our lives. But even after this she kept saying that she need to keep limitations between us and things between us did not improve.

After one and a half year into our relationship we had another big fight when she told be the same thing. This time her mother and her told me that she will not repeat these things and will do the effort to make this relationship stronger. Again time passed and even though she never said that she can not be emotionally close to me but she never did any efforts to create any kind of emotional closeness between us.

Last week I asked her, "dont you think its strange that in two years we never said love you to each other" She got really annoyed and asked me "why do you want a relationship in which we say love you to each other all the time?" I said I am not complaining that we don't say it all the time, I am saying we NEVER said it. She said she is not expressive like this... She said she is happy with the relationship the way it is and if I am not happy the problem is really only in my head. And that I should be happy with what I have instead of worrying about what I don't have.

In a way she was right, only if I could stop worrying about what I did not have, I could have lived my life happily. But how can I be happy without love in my life? In my heart I knew she will never love me, and we will live our lives like roommates, talking to each other only when we need to, nothing more nothing less. After I made the decision, I felt as if a huge weight had been lifted off my chest, at that time I knew I made the right decision.

I always thought I will be leaving this forum under happier circumstances, and I am sad to be leaving like this, but if anyone still needs to contact me, you can send me PM and I will make sure to answer it. Love all the friends here who always took time to help and support me.

Bye guys

Its a totally wrong decision ...... it tells me that ur jus 23 or 24 years old ........

girls in Pakistan are different than the who world ........... it totally depends upon family area ............ wot ur wife said and wot was decoded in ur mind ........are too totally different things ......... and I tell u one thing this sponsorship is IA the only worst time in all of ours life ............

One thing is common for men and women .............

>>> Men :> should never ever make decision in stress ...... try to get suggestion wen ur in stress
>>> Women :> Should never even make decision .......

I wish I could convince ya that ur decision is wrong ......... but after 2 to 3 years u will realize ....

Chill

 

[sad story]

okie my lovlyyyyyyyyyyyy sistoooooooooooo

aur JO LOG JAL RAHYE HAIN woh jalyeeeee
apna ki janaaa
hoeey, hoeey ,innaa pyar behun, bhai ka, mashaallah sada kuch raho esee tarha muhabbat pyar kai saath.

 

[misrable]

Thank you all my friends for all the support and love, and if I call you friends I think you also deserve to know why I decided to end my marriage. Sorry I did not explain before but it was tough for me to share these things on the forum and it is still hard but I know many people here care about me so I have decided to share my story...

Our marriage (Nikkah only) was arranged so it was only three days after the Nikkah that I spoke to my wife for the first time. Few minutes in to our phone conversation she told me that she do not want to have a emotional relationship between us. I was sad to hear it because I really wanted to share everything with her and emotional connection was a very important part, at least for me. She explained that because we will be living so far away from each other, it will be easier to wait for each other if we are not emotionally close to each other. I did not argue with her because I thought she is only saying that and with time she will realize that she cannot plan how a relationship will develop, and I hoped that with time she will forget about this logic and we will fall in love with each other.

But as time passed we did not come emotionally close, and any time we developed feelings for each other she repeated the same thing that if she let her feelings take control she will have hard time waiting for me, and she doesn't want to have that problem. At that time the sponsorship time was only 12 months, and I thought it will be fine as the wait will be over soon and she will get over this problem as well.

Few more months passed and the sponsorship time went from 12 months to 20 months. It was really stressful for me because I felt our relationship getting weaker and weaker with time. And even though we did not have emotional connection, we were even losing the excitement and interest in each other that we had in the beginning. I asked her to remove the walls she had put up around herself, so that we can come closer and support each other, because now the wait was getting really long and I felt this is the time we can really use to make our relationship stronger.

This time she changed her logic and said its not just the wait, that she will find hard if she comes emotionally close to me, she explained that because in her past all the people that she had loved have gone away from her so now she can not let anyone come close to her anymore. She gave the examples of her sister who got married and went to Canada, and her brother who left for England to study, and when she was very young she had friends in her neighborhood but when her family moved she lost her friends. When I tried really hard to get her out of this shell, she said that she can only get over it once we are physically close.

Dealing with this situation, I was not just losing my mind I was also losing my health. I lost lot of weight, and felt really drained of energy all the time. Saw a doctor and I was diagnosed with ulcer in my stomach. But even then I did not lose hope and kept positive and kept trying to be close to her. I shared this issue with one of my friends and he suggested that if my wife thinks that physical closeness will end her psychological issues then I should ask her to apply for a visit visa.

I was really excited about this idea, and I called her the minute I came home. He reaction to this idea really surprised me, she was not excited at all and told me that she does not want to come to Canada until she gets her sponsorship completed. At that time I had lost all patience with her, and I stopped putting any effort in the relationship. I thought if I step back maybe she will do the effort to come close to me. Talking on the phone from two or three times a day we went to talking two or three time a week, then few weeks later it became once a week and then it became once a month.

At this time it had already been more then one year since our Nikkah and I had never shared this issue with anyone in the family. At that time I thought maybe if I tell my mother and her mother, they can tell her to make the change in her personality. Her mother she said that her daughter was right because it was only Nikkah and we were not really married so I should not expect too much from her. She said that it is because she is shy and she will get over it after we start living together.

I tried to explain to her mother all the problems but she did not see it my way. So I told them that either my wife will make the change in herself or she will not come to Canada because right now it is only Nikkah but once we are fully married, her personality will destroy both of our lives. But even after this she kept saying that she need to keep limitations between us and things between us did not improve.

After one and a half year into our relationship we had another big fight when she told be the same thing. This time her mother and her told me that she will not repeat these things and will do the effort to make this relationship stronger. Again time passed and even though she never said that she can not be emotionally close to me but she never did any efforts to create any kind of emotional closeness between us.

Last week I asked her, "dont you think its strange that in two years we never said love you to each other" She got really annoyed and asked me "why do you want a relationship in which we say love you to each other all the time?" I said I am not complaining that we don't say it all the time, I am saying we NEVER said it. She said she is not expressive like this... She said she is happy with the relationship the way it is and if I am not happy the problem is really only in my head. And that I should be happy with what I have instead of worrying about what I don't have.

In a way she was right, only if I could stop worrying about what I did not have, I could have lived my life happily. But how can I be happy without love in my life? In my heart I knew she will never love me, and we will live our lives like roommates, talking to each other only when we need to, nothing more nothing less. After I made the decision, I felt as if a huge weight had been lifted off my chest, at that time I knew I made the right decision.

I always thought I will be leaving this forum under happier circumstances, and I am sad to be leaving like this, but if anyone still needs to contact me, you can send me PM and I will make sure to answer it. Love all the friends here who always took time to help and support me.

Bye guys

hey bro make sure do istikhara (just a suggestion) may be she is shy... I just want u to have a bright future along with all of us

 

[qamalik729]

That is realli sad to hear bhai, i guess she is not interested n if she doesnt want it then u have made the right decision n I wish u a happy life ahead of u....

Take a break from here n everything n go for a one week vacation alone to somewhere u like.... n
wen u come back everything will start from fresh

come on .......... how can u say that ...... I mean ......... well .......

If they never come cloze to each other they would never know ........ girly ........

You all : i mean on this forum ........ dont give a decision ........ you guys jus go with flow ............
If i say i will jump from a 10 story building .......... u all will say best of luck ..................... lol ......... i mean some on forum would really want that ...


My argument is ........................ love means different for every person ........ it sounds different in ears ............ and if u did not drive a Lamborghini .......... u would only have opinion about it ............. decision/judgment is when u have driven it .........

 

[qamalik729]

hey bro make sure do istikhara (just a suggestion) may be she is shy... I just want u to have a bright future along with all of us

BEST SUGGESTION ......... THAT'S A BEST ADVICE THAT U HAVE GIVEN .........