Age Difference

[frege]

And honestly that is a very big plus for you, she is from a rich country, where fake marriages aren't that common. A high percent of marriages and spousal visas are denided in hong kong cause of all the fake marriages in mainland China.

I'm more concerned for legitimate couples who are possibly going to be treated like potential liars because of their personal characteristics.

It would be possible to have a system that works where those kinds of things aren't looked at. The system won't work 100%, because you can't get inside someone's head, but neither does the current system.

 

[Happywife08]

Our 28 year difference it's not a problem, I have no cries for it, MY initial posts was to ask about some bills and get some experiences, which I thought that is what the forum was about... Just because there is a gap between us does not inmediatly means we do not love each other... i have met a lot of Canadians in my country women and men who run there since their canadian spouses (same age) took EVERYTHING they had, and let them onthe street!!! Like I said before it has nothing to do with age, nacionality or anything if you are a dishonest person ypu are going to do it... Maybe some people here should see who it's posting!!! and I think people here forget it's a two way... My husband would get a residency in my country as well which allows him to do things he can't do at this point!!! Why is it always the poor Canadian/ American or whatever!!! If we are here it's because it's his country, we spent 4 years in mine plus another 11 years he lived there before and like I said before I understand he wants to come back a leats for a while and I do it for him... Or is it because we fell in love with a foreigner you can't be together!!! Come on people we are all here for a reason to be with our love ones!!! I have nothing to prove to anybody but my husband and so does him.... And BTW i am professional I come from a Country where Canada has huge relations with since there is a huge population of Canadians in it And more and more get there everyday!!!

Good bye and take care!!! I came here for help. I only got it from a few to those thank you

 

[Carli]

Toally agree!!! It's kind of sad!!! That we live on a society where there is so many races, taste and more where we are "free" to pick and choose who we want to be with, but if you choose something that most people do not think is right. Then it's not ok... What happen with freedom of choice!! Love doesn't see age!!! You can help who you fall in love with, or who you have more things in common!!!


Its funny, with all the questions I have asked, I never even thought to brooch this one, my hubby is 19 yrs my junior, but we dont even think about it, there is alot of times I feel like he is the older of the 2 of us, lol. Our families has known of us since basically we met, none of mine have had the chance to meet him, but some have spoken with him on the phone, they are, of course, a little concerned with the ages, but, like was said, love knows no age, if two people are compatible and love each other, age is only just a number. Knowing we have talked about things like children and reading about this, makes me feel a bit better, it is not a big issue with either of us, he has none now, and if it is decided sometime in the future he might like to have kids, there is always adoption, but its just not a big issue with us. Sounds like we covered bases we didnt even know existed, lol.

 

[tuyen]

My canadian husband is 28 years old older than me we are just married

I've dated girls older than me, and younger than me...so I'm very well versed in age differences when it comes to relationships. But 28 years? At that point, aside from both needing food and water to live, what else do you have in common that would be substantial enough on which to base a marriage?

I'm russian by the way. and it's more difficult for us to prove that our relationship is genuine because a visa officer will say '' she definitly has and immigration purpose!!!'' ;D

Do you think it might have anything to do with the fact that there's an entire industry based on Russian "mail order" brides?

 

[Halfmoon]

aside from both needing food and water to live

Don't leave out air to breathe.

 

[aerogurl87]

I'm sorry, but yes you should be looked at closely if you are marrying someone old enough to be your parent or grandparent. If I were the VO I'd be wondering what does someone who was raised in a different era have in common with someone old enough to be their kid? Are they in the same stage in life? What do they plan to do regarding starting a family? All those things are things I'd be wondering with a couple with a huge age difference. Call it discrimination if you want, but a big age difference does raise legitimate red flags.

 

[Shiny88]

aside from both needing food and water to live, what else do you have in common that would be substantial enough on which to base a marriage?

lol she likes older man, if she can prove her relationship to be genuine then its all good,love happens,anywhere,anytime,with anyone nomatter the race,age,culture & xes too sumtimes.. 8)

 

[chipits]

I'm always amazed at how sometimes in a forum where the main basis is falling in love with someone and going through what is often a difficult process, some people are so willing to judge other people's relationships when they have no basis to. You wouldn't go out and tell a Christian woman from Canada marrying a Muslim man from Pakistan that there is no way they have anything in common, so why automatically assume that people differing in age, which is another cultural point, can't fall in love either?

 

[tuyen]

I'm always amazed at how sometimes in a forum where the main basis is falling in love with someone and going through what is often a difficult process, some people are so willing to judge other people's relationships when they have no basis to.

Nobody's judging anything. I merely posed a question because my curiosity was getting the better of me. Seriously though...28 years. Aren't YOU the least bit curious?

You wouldn't go out and tell a Christian woman from Canada marrying a Muslim man from Pakistan that there is no way they have anything in common

Oh ye of little faith. You obviously don't know me and the lengths of political incorrectness to which I'm willing to go.

 

[JimM]

I'm sorry, but yes you should be looked at closely if you are marrying someone old enough to be your parent or grandparent. If I were the VO I'd be wondering what does someone who was raised in a different era have in common with someone old enough to be their kid? Are they in the same stage in life? What do they plan to do regarding starting a family? All those things are things I'd be wondering with a couple with a huge age difference. Call it discrimination if you want, but a big age difference does raise legitimate red flags.

Bulls**t

My wife is young enough to be my daughter, (17 year difference), and we have plenty in common. Thankfully she's sponsoring me so we don't have to deal with nearly as much hassle over it as we would if the ages were reversed.

It may surprise you but it's quite possible to have similar tastes in entertainment and hobbies despite an age gap. Of course there's differences but we have a wide overlap in our tastes in music and movies enough tolerance of each other's tastes to deal with our difference. We go to plenty of concerts together, I'm not going to complain if she goes with friends to see some rapper for example.

And when it comes to one's core beliefs, (ethics, religion, politics, etc), you believe what you believe regardless of age. One can be religious or not, have conservative or liberal political views, etc regardless of their age. Whether or not you share those beliefs is not related to your age. And I particularly find "What do they plan to do regarding starting a family?" annoying. Has it never occurred to you that there are plenty of couples, (of all ages), who don't want to start a family?

 

[tuyen]

And I particularly find "What do they plan to do regarding starting a family?" annoying. Has it never occurred to you that there are plenty of couples, (of all ages), who don't want to start a family?

Did she manage to sell you on that? If so, please come back and let us know how that whole "I don't want kids" thing worked out for you when her biological clock nears the end of its ticking phase, and she begins to panic while thinking, "it's now or never". ;D

Every woman I've ever known who once told me "I don't ever want kids" in the past...well...guess what - they ALL have kids now.

 

[Halfmoon]

I don't think the argument here is whether couples with a significant age difference can be genuinely in love because obviously it exists. The question is if it is an act of discrimination by immigration to flag these couples and wanting to question/understand the compatibilities and genuineness by way of convoking interviews or wanting to see substantial evidence to support the relationship. I don't feel in any way that its inappropriate nor discriminating to do so as there have been a high number of fraudulent marriages of couples in this category who's sole purpose is to gain status. The bad make it difficult for the good and this applies to many areas in life, not just immigration.

 

[Ttcdfolk]

Bulls**t

My wife is young enough to be my daughter, (17 year difference), and we have plenty in common. Thankfully she's sponsoring me so we don't have to deal with nearly as much hassle over it as we would if the ages were reversed.

It may surprise you but it's quite possible to have similar tastes in entertainment and hobbies despite an age gap. Of course there's differences but we have a wide overlap in our tastes in music and movies enough tolerance of each other's tastes to deal with our difference. We go to plenty of concerts together, I'm not going to complain if she goes with friends to see some rapper for example.

And when it comes to one's core beliefs, (ethics, religion, politics, etc), you believe what you believe regardless of age. One can be religious or not, have conservative or liberal political views, etc regardless of their age. Whether or not you share those beliefs is not related to your age. And I particularly find "What do they plan to do regarding starting a family?" annoying. Has it never occurred to you that there are plenty of couples, (of all ages), who don't want to start a family?

In my opinion you should marry your best friend, or another way to put it is your wife should be your best friend. But with such a large age difference and I am not talking 17 years like he's 50 and she's 43 or 67 at that point you are at the same stage in your life. I am talking about 18 and 35 she/he has just gotten out of high school, and the spouse has been working since the other wasn't even in school yet. You two would have nothing in common. But I guess if you want a trophy wife/husband, all the power too ya. But what I love even more, are the foreigners here in China that can't speak Chinese and the girlfriend can't speak English, but we love each other so much. How do you even know? You can't even speak to each other without a translator.

 

[amikety]

Did she manage to sell you on that? If so, please come back and let us know how that whole "I don't want kids" thing worked out for you when her biological clock nears the end of its ticking phase, and she begins to panic while thinking, "it's now or never". ;D

Every woman I've ever known who once told me "I don't ever want kids" in the past...well...guess what - they ALL have kids now.

My biological clock went off 5 years ago - I remember the exact moment down to what I was doing.

I still want nothing to do with children.

Might have something to do with being used as a live in babysitter by my parents............. I have a cat and I'm happy.

 

[amikety]

Bulls**t

My wife is young enough to be my daughter, (17 year difference), and we have plenty in common. Thankfully she's sponsoring me so we don't have to deal with nearly as much hassle over it as we would if the ages were reversed.

It may surprise you but it's quite possible to have similar tastes in entertainment and hobbies despite an age gap. Of course there's differences but we have a wide overlap in our tastes in music and movies enough tolerance of each other's tastes to deal with our difference. We go to plenty of concerts together, I'm not going to complain if she goes with friends to see some rapper for example.

And when it comes to one's core beliefs, (ethics, religion, politics, etc), you believe what you believe regardless of age. One can be religious or not, have conservative or liberal political views, etc regardless of their age. Whether or not you share those beliefs is not related to your age. And I particularly find "What do they plan to do regarding starting a family?" annoying. Has it never occurred to you that there are plenty of couples, (of all ages), who don't want to start a family?

My husband and his ex-wife were 16 years apart in age, her being the senior. They played WOW together.

I think you make a valid point - differences in areas such as religion or political views are the biggest areas. Not to say interfaith/political marriages can't work either, but those aren't areas most people are willing to budge in whereas age/hobbies/interests are more flexible.