Your English is good. Your vocab is good. The reason you are stuck at 6.5 is that the structure and logical flow is missing in the essay. Do not rush in to writing essays and think about it. Writing is tricky because it is not only a test of English but they also test Task Response. So, basically the reader should feel your arguments make sense. Hence very important to stay at the topic at hand and be very concise.
IELTS - Writing - For Band 7 or Above.
- Thread starter H0peAndFa1th
- Start date
I know your point probably was in jest but just to address this specific point. If you read through the pages of this thread you will find 100s of examples where people could get 6.5 numerous times but not 7 on the test. Yes, from a score perspective it seems like a small gap but in reality there is a HUGE difference between a 6.5 essay and 7+ score.
So, when I say the essay is no where close to 7 I don't mean this will get a 5 score on the test. I just mean that it will be stuck at 6.5.
hardeep bal
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Just to say, after getting 6.5 again I just stopped myself for Writing anything, just today due to this quarantine I wrote one and I am just learning fancy words everyday hehe thats why I have used some, its really tricky to get 7 in this particular section.. at the moment I can say that I AM STUCK AT 6.5 just gaining some confidence to sit again in exam
Shopping is the favorite past time for most of the young people. Why do you think is that? Do you think they should be encouraged to do some useful activities?
The majority of youngsters prefer to spend their spare time doing shopping. I think this is mainly because of the increase in disposable income in their hands and they should also choose other productive activities in their leisure time as well.
One of the main reasons why most young men and women prefer to shop is the increase in the availability of disposable income. Mostly young people work full-time and earn handsome salaries that they can spend on various activities they like. Those who cannot work full-time due to their studies, work part-time and earn. Increase in pay rates, incentives and allowances also contribute to their personal income that they can utilize on their hobbies. Shopping also provides them psychological satisfaction by showing them good-looking celebrities, wallpapers and displays. When the young enter in malls or stores, they forget their stress and worries and enter into an imaginary environment which makes them happy. For example, most shops have bright-colored displays that enhance visitors' mood and indirectly force them to stay in an outlet for a longer duration.
That being said, the young must also choose those activities to enjoy in their free time, apart from shopping, that increase their mental and physical health. Reading open boundaries of brain by teaching new topics and increasing imaginary power. Incorporating this activity will make the young ones more informative and educated. Moreover, playing indoor and outdoor games also make them physically and mentally fit. They can also spend more time with their family and friends while playing games like cricket and carrom board. For instance, the number of conflicts between those friends who spend their free time together is quite less than those who do not.
In conclusion, the popularity of shopping as the most preferred past time among the young is mainly due to the rise in incomes and personal satisfaction. They should also choose those hobbies which make them physically and intellectually healthier.
The majority of youngsters prefer to spend their spare time doing shopping. I think this is mainly because of the increase in disposable income in their hands and they should also choose other productive activities in their leisure time as well.
One of the main reasons why most young men and women prefer to shop is the increase in the availability of disposable income. Mostly young people work full-time and earn handsome salaries that they can spend on various activities they like. Those who cannot work full-time due to their studies, work part-time and earn. Increase in pay rates, incentives and allowances also contribute to their personal income that they can utilize on their hobbies. Shopping also provides them psychological satisfaction by showing them good-looking celebrities, wallpapers and displays. When the young enter in malls or stores, they forget their stress and worries and enter into an imaginary environment which makes them happy. For example, most shops have bright-colored displays that enhance visitors' mood and indirectly force them to stay in an outlet for a longer duration.
That being said, the young must also choose those activities to enjoy in their free time, apart from shopping, that increase their mental and physical health. Reading open boundaries of brain by teaching new topics and increasing imaginary power. Incorporating this activity will make the young ones more informative and educated. Moreover, playing indoor and outdoor games also make them physically and mentally fit. They can also spend more time with their family and friends while playing games like cricket and carrom board. For instance, the number of conflicts between those friends who spend their free time together is quite less than those who do not.
In conclusion, the popularity of shopping as the most preferred past time among the young is mainly due to the rise in incomes and personal satisfaction. They should also choose those hobbies which make them physically and intellectually healthier.
hardeep bal
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Q: Some educationalists think that international exchange visits will benefit teenagers at the school. To what extent do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?
A: Arranging foreign visits for pupils can have numerous benefits for their educational curriculum. Though they can learn about different languages and methods, at the same time it may hamper their understanding of their own rituals and ceremonies. This essay will explain both the disadvantages and advantages of this trend before reaching a logical conclusion.
There are a plethora of benefits by introducing adolescents to different learning institutes. First, since foreign universities have been approaching variation in the style of teaching, it may ameliorate learners to upgrade their ability and excel in a particular subject. In the United States, for instance, 85% of international students have developed a multitude of methods of learning which were absent when they had arrived there for higher studies. Second, Once a child has learned to speak the local language, it will become convenient to hunt for job opportunities after successfully completing studies. While youngsters who have high scores well in exams but still lack a local language ability are not the first choice of employers.
On the other side, an exchange of disciples to a foreign learning exposure has some drawbacks too. If a grown adult has started living in a different nation, it may definitely put an impact on his hobbies and interests. It is axiomatic that perhaps they may start following other rituals rather than their own, which could develop cultural menaces for some communities. In fact, a serious effect has been noted on their habits as teenagers have become involved in westernization and forget their roots in the northern territories; according to a BBC article. Hence, celebrations are considered as pride for some cultures and seniors do want to inherit them into young ones through genetics otherwise they will be lost forever.
In conclusion, this essay has discussed both the merits and demerits of allowing teenagers to expose to other curriculums. In my opinion, a positive side has outweighed its negative side because this phenomenon will undoubtedly assist teenagers to upgrade their current knowledge and open the doors of employment in the future.
A: Arranging foreign visits for pupils can have numerous benefits for their educational curriculum. Though they can learn about different languages and methods, at the same time it may hamper their understanding of their own rituals and ceremonies. This essay will explain both the disadvantages and advantages of this trend before reaching a logical conclusion.
There are a plethora of benefits by introducing adolescents to different learning institutes. First, since foreign universities have been approaching variation in the style of teaching, it may ameliorate learners to upgrade their ability and excel in a particular subject. In the United States, for instance, 85% of international students have developed a multitude of methods of learning which were absent when they had arrived there for higher studies. Second, Once a child has learned to speak the local language, it will become convenient to hunt for job opportunities after successfully completing studies. While youngsters who have high scores well in exams but still lack a local language ability are not the first choice of employers.
On the other side, an exchange of disciples to a foreign learning exposure has some drawbacks too. If a grown adult has started living in a different nation, it may definitely put an impact on his hobbies and interests. It is axiomatic that perhaps they may start following other rituals rather than their own, which could develop cultural menaces for some communities. In fact, a serious effect has been noted on their habits as teenagers have become involved in westernization and forget their roots in the northern territories; according to a BBC article. Hence, celebrations are considered as pride for some cultures and seniors do want to inherit them into young ones through genetics otherwise they will be lost forever.
In conclusion, this essay has discussed both the merits and demerits of allowing teenagers to expose to other curriculums. In my opinion, a positive side has outweighed its negative side because this phenomenon will undoubtedly assist teenagers to upgrade their current knowledge and open the doors of employment in the future.
Topic: Some people think if students are afraid of the teacher it is better. Others say that having friendly relation is better. What do you think?
Friendly interaction is essential part of any learning process. Few folks believes that it is better if pupil have fear of their educators, on the other hand several others deem that having favorable relationship between students and teachers. In my opinion, it is better for students to having amicable environment in their study place. I will elaborate my points in below paragraphs.
Everyone has its own method to teach or learn. Few people think that students learn fast under the strict environment and that's why they have to afraid of their teachers. In such situation, pupil always live under the pressure of punishment due to under performance. Due to lack of healthy interaction between students and teachers, students afraid to raise their concerns and generally don't ask the questions or queries regarding their study. As result of this, students don't developed their own thought process. For example, In many Asian counties, still they have very strict teaching methods at their institutions and because of this students are not developing their minds to think beyond certain limits.
On the other hand, other people deem that having freely and interactive teaching process is good for both educators and their pupil. At such places, school children feel free to ask their questions which are bothering them to understand their subject or lessons. As results of this pupil will developed good skill of knowledge. For example, In Canada and USA teaching places are very friendly and interactive between students and teachers. Because of this, students are very broad minded and they have much better practical knowledge too as compare to other countries.
In my opinion, It is always good for students to having favorable interaction at their schools or colleges where they can developed their own mindset and build a good knowledge.
To conclude, interactive teaching methods always helps to students to enjoy the study rather than feel like a punishment.
Friendly interaction is essential part of any learning process. Few folks believes that it is better if pupil have fear of their educators, on the other hand several others deem that having favorable relationship between students and teachers. In my opinion, it is better for students to having amicable environment in their study place. I will elaborate my points in below paragraphs.
Everyone has its own method to teach or learn. Few people think that students learn fast under the strict environment and that's why they have to afraid of their teachers. In such situation, pupil always live under the pressure of punishment due to under performance. Due to lack of healthy interaction between students and teachers, students afraid to raise their concerns and generally don't ask the questions or queries regarding their study. As result of this, students don't developed their own thought process. For example, In many Asian counties, still they have very strict teaching methods at their institutions and because of this students are not developing their minds to think beyond certain limits.
On the other hand, other people deem that having freely and interactive teaching process is good for both educators and their pupil. At such places, school children feel free to ask their questions which are bothering them to understand their subject or lessons. As results of this pupil will developed good skill of knowledge. For example, In Canada and USA teaching places are very friendly and interactive between students and teachers. Because of this, students are very broad minded and they have much better practical knowledge too as compare to other countries.
In my opinion, It is always good for students to having favorable interaction at their schools or colleges where they can developed their own mindset and build a good knowledge.
To conclude, interactive teaching methods always helps to students to enjoy the study rather than feel like a punishment.
joconstantine
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Hi all,
I took IELTS test (GT certainly) on 22 Mar 2020, scoring 8 for my writing (result came on 27 Mar 2020).
I am very grateful for this, especially when it had been my first attempt ever.
If you feel like having my advice on your essays, you may send them to me privately. My skill is far from perfect so I will only provide as much as I can (hope you would understand). Anyway, it will be free of charge; I only want to help as many people as possible.
I took IELTS test (GT certainly) on 22 Mar 2020, scoring 8 for my writing (result came on 27 Mar 2020).
I am very grateful for this, especially when it had been my first attempt ever.
If you feel like having my advice on your essays, you may send them to me privately. My skill is far from perfect so I will only provide as much as I can (hope you would understand). Anyway, it will be free of charge; I only want to help as many people as possible.
joconstantine
Hero Member
- Mar 30, 2020
- 555
- Category........
- FSW
- NOC Code......
- 0213
- Pre-Assessed..
- Yes
- AOR Received.
- 01-08-2020
I wrote IELTs GT for the first time in December 2019. My score: listening 9, reading 8, writing 8, speaking 7.5
I should have scored 8 in the speaking part but i had a glitch..the topic i was given to speak on had 2 options, the option i spoke on was something i personally didnt have much interest in. So it messed up my flow in the test.
I had just 1 week to prepare for the test and most of the practice material i used was from this website:
ieltadvantage.com
Theres no passing or failing of IELTs, rather theres achieving of the score you need for your purpose. I needed to write the ielts and score CLB 5 for the new Canada home support worker immigration pilot. I have a blog here that explains the process:
https://caregiverimmigration.blogspot.com/?m=1
Maybe you might be interested. Its an easier way to immigrate to Canada: it has a low IELTs score, low educational qualification and no settlement funds.
All the best
I should have scored 8 in the speaking part but i had a glitch..the topic i was given to speak on had 2 options, the option i spoke on was something i personally didnt have much interest in. So it messed up my flow in the test.
I had just 1 week to prepare for the test and most of the practice material i used was from this website:
ieltadvantage.com
Theres no passing or failing of IELTs, rather theres achieving of the score you need for your purpose. I needed to write the ielts and score CLB 5 for the new Canada home support worker immigration pilot. I have a blog here that explains the process:
https://caregiverimmigration.blogspot.com/?m=1
Maybe you might be interested. Its an easier way to immigrate to Canada: it has a low IELTs score, low educational qualification and no settlement funds.
All the best
The majority of youngsters prefer to spend their spare time doing shopping. I think this is mainly because of the increase in disposable income in their hands and they should also choose other productive activities Like what? Add something here to make your intro more impactful and unique. in their leisure time as well.
One of the main reasons why most young men and women prefer to shop is the increase in the availability of disposable income. This line is stating what you already said in the introduction and hence low impact and verbose.
Mostly young people work full-time and earn handsome salaries that they can spend on various activities they like. Okay so why are they choosing specifically "shopping" out of these various activities. You are still away from point.
Those who cannot work full-time due to their studies, work part-time and earn. Increase in pay rates, incentives and allowances also contribute to their personal income that they can utilize on their hobbies. Same issue as previous line.
Shopping also provides them psychological satisfaction by showing them good-looking celebrities, wallpapers and displays. This is the first time you give a real reason why shopping vs other possible hobbies. So why not bring this to the very first line and make essay impactful and get rid of all the lines which are adding words but not substance to essay.
When the young enter in malls or stores, they forget their stress and worries and enter into an imaginary environment which makes them happy. Too philosophical. But okay I will buy it.
For example, most shops have bright-colored displays that enhance visitors' mood and indirectly force them to stay in an outlet for a longer duration. See again they wouldn't have seen those colors in first place if they wouldn't have gone out shopping in first place. Barring one good reason rest of the paragraph is beating around the bush. Lots of words very little substance.
That being said, the young must also choose those activities to enjoy in their free time, apart from shopping, that increase their mental and physical health.
Reading open boundaries of brain by teaching new topics and increasing imaginary power.
Incorporating this activity will make the young ones more informative and educated. Two issues. First the actual reason is after two sentences. Find a way to bring reasoning before. And second "informative and educated" is too generic.
Moreover, playing indoor and outdoor games also make them physically and mentally fit.
They can also spend more time with their family and friends while playing games like cricket and carrom board. Is it a good enough reason. People go shopping with family and friends as well.
For instance, the number of conflicts between those friends who spend their free time together is quite less than those who do not. Yes, online tutorials say give example but just making somthing up is not the best way to go about it. It should atleast sound somewhat authentic.
In conclusion, the popularity of shopping as the most preferred past time among the young is mainly due to the rise in incomes and personal satisfaction. They should also choose those hobbies which make them physically and intellectually healthier.
Positives - There are no real issues with English language as such.
Things to improve - Essay content and task response. Spend some more time thinking and sturcturing the essay. Cut down on filler lines which just have words but very little content with respect to the topic. Also, make sure the actual logic, argument, reason is in first 1/2 lines of the body paragraph.
All the best!
Adverts that have the potential to upset people have no place in a civilized society,Agree /disagree
Those advertisements that may disappoint people should never exist in an educated society. I think that since the prime motive of advertisements is to inform customers about goods and services, they should be free from discrimination and concealment, which can upset many a person.
Foremost, people get upset after seeing discrimination in advertisements that are used to sell a product or service in a market. Differentiation is shown on the basis of caste, creed, race, religion, gender, and color in some adverts to create the attention of viewers to increase the demand for goods and services. These elements have a tendency to upset those people who favor equity, mutual understanding, harmony, and peace between persons, communities, and nations. For example, a violent rage was erupted in 2015 between Africans and Americans when Lakme, a cosmetic company, showed black skin tone as a sin in its advert in America. Although the prime objective to telecast advertisements to viewers is to inform them about the product, it should be done in such a way that it must not harm the sentiments of a particular community or religion.
Some people may also not like commercials that contain false information. Companies often conceal facts related to their products in their promotion campaigns, which people know after buying them. For instance, hidden information related to false ingredients, lack of purity and wrong results is not uncommon in the food and beverage sector nowadays. When people buy a product or avail any service and they do not get experience what they wanted, it agitates them. As a moral duty, associations must refrain themselves to provide customers with the wrong information in their advertisements. Implementing fines and suspending companies' licenses to operate are some of the harsh steps that may be taken by governments if companies continue to do so despite several warnings.
In conclusion, people of a civilized community feel happy and entertained when adverts do not contain anti-social elements like discrimination and fraudulent information.
Those advertisements that may disappoint people should never exist in an educated society. I think that since the prime motive of advertisements is to inform customers about goods and services, they should be free from discrimination and concealment, which can upset many a person.
Foremost, people get upset after seeing discrimination in advertisements that are used to sell a product or service in a market. Differentiation is shown on the basis of caste, creed, race, religion, gender, and color in some adverts to create the attention of viewers to increase the demand for goods and services. These elements have a tendency to upset those people who favor equity, mutual understanding, harmony, and peace between persons, communities, and nations. For example, a violent rage was erupted in 2015 between Africans and Americans when Lakme, a cosmetic company, showed black skin tone as a sin in its advert in America. Although the prime objective to telecast advertisements to viewers is to inform them about the product, it should be done in such a way that it must not harm the sentiments of a particular community or religion.
Some people may also not like commercials that contain false information. Companies often conceal facts related to their products in their promotion campaigns, which people know after buying them. For instance, hidden information related to false ingredients, lack of purity and wrong results is not uncommon in the food and beverage sector nowadays. When people buy a product or avail any service and they do not get experience what they wanted, it agitates them. As a moral duty, associations must refrain themselves to provide customers with the wrong information in their advertisements. Implementing fines and suspending companies' licenses to operate are some of the harsh steps that may be taken by governments if companies continue to do so despite several warnings.
In conclusion, people of a civilized community feel happy and entertained when adverts do not contain anti-social elements like discrimination and fraudulent information.
I am working more on these two elements. I never got feedback like this from someone else. Most teachers say it is ok, english is good, grammar is fine only. That is why I had never paid much attention to TA and CC element. Effective planning is the key here. Failing to plan properly is planning to fail.
Now I realise.
Hi!Adverts that have the potential to upset people have no place in a civilized society,Agree /disagree
Those advertisements that may disappoint people should never exist in an educated society. In my opinion this is too extreme, like with the very first sentence of your essay you leave no space for a debate. I suppose that if the question asks you whether you agree or disagree, it means there is at least some room for the opposite point of view, too. That’s why most of essay questions and answers start with “some people think” or “it is argued by some” etc. Hope I could explain my thoughtsI think that since the prime motive of advertisements is to inform customers about goods and services, they should be free from discrimination and concealment, which can upset many a person. You see, you’re more answering to a question “what is the initial goal of ads and what content they should have?”. To get 7 and above you need to show the examiner you have clearly understood the instruction you’ve been given. Your question is “Do you agree or disagree that there should be no advertisements that hurt people’s feelings?”, right? So your position can be “I agree that there should be no upsetting ads” or “I think any ad can be published” or “I mainly agree, with some exceptions”. Now, after you’ve taken time to fully understand what you’re asked, you need to understand which of the above mentioned points you can best support. In this case, you went for option 1. Now you also need to state WHY you agree. What I always did is I first talked about one aspect in BP 1 and then another aspect in BP 2. By doing this you 1) won’t run out of ideas and 2) will be able to stay on track. In your case reason 1 - social stratification; reason 2 - you may choose business aspect (in your bp 2 you will then explain that by losing potential consumers’ trust businesses can also have significant drop in sales). The proper intro will look something like: “Some people think that advertisements that may disappoint people should not exist in an educated society. (In my opinion), I agree to the above mentioned point of view, since offensive ads may have a detrimental/negative impact both on the society and business.
Foremost, people get upset (too general, like in your previous essay I reviewed, they get upset ok, so what? That’s not the real reason why those ads should be banned, the real reason is that discrimination in ads gives rise to social stratification, right?) after seeing discrimination in advertisements that are used to sell a product or service in a market (no need to explain to the examiner what an advertisement is. If you want to give more details bring examples instead e.g. say - ads whether on tv, social media or outdoor... If I were you this sentence would be changed into “Foremost, upsetting content in advertisements, whether on tv, radio or in social media, may give rise to social stratification”.) Differentiation is shown on the basis of caste, creed (isn’t this the same with religion?), race, religion, gender, and color in some adverts this should be somewhere else in the sentence, at the beginning for example to create drag the attention of viewers to increase the demand for goods and services. These elements have a tendency to upset those people who favor equity equality?, mutual understanding, harmony, and peace between persons, communities, and nations. For example not necessary, a violent rage was erupted in 2015 between Africans and Americans when Lakme, a cosmetic company, showed black skin tone as a sin in its advert in America. Although the prime objective to telecast advertisements to viewers is to inform them about the product, it should be done in such a way that it must not harm the sentiments of a particular community or religion.ast (you are not asked about only one type of ads, don’t drag yourself onto a wrong path))) advertisements to viewers (if you read the sentence without a particular word and the meaning has not changed - remove it) is to inform them about the product, it should be done in such a way that it must not harm the sentiments of a particular community or religion.
Another point to consider is the potential loss of trust by people after coming across with an offensive ad. Some people may also not like commercials that contain false information. Companies often conceal facts related to their products in their promotion campaigns, which people know after buying them. For instance, hidden information related to false ingredients, lack of purity and wrong results is not uncommon in the food and beverage sector nowadays. When people buy a product or avail any service and they do not get experience what they wanted, it agitates them. As a result business can have a significant decline in sales and will have to deal with losses. As a moral duty, associations must refrain themselves to provide customers with the wrong information in their advertisements. Implementing fines and suspending companies' licenses to operate are some of the harsh steps that may be taken by governments if companies continue to do so despite several warnings. This is not a problem/solution essay, you are not asked to suggest solutions on how to restrict offensive content.
In conclusion, people of a civilized community feel happy and entertained when adverts do not contain anti-social elements like discrimination and fraudulent information. In conclusion, I strongly believe that ads that give rise to a disappointment (negative feelings) in people should not be published, due to the detrimental effect those may have on the communities and on the companies themselves.
Sorry about writing too much. I really hope you’ll be patient to read what I wrote))))
Again, please take time to PLAN before you start writing. It can take up to 10 minutes at first, it’s totally fine.
@cansha dear I hope you at least sometimes read what I write and will correct me if I’m wrong)))))