Hopeandfaith has already done a good review but I have to point out one thing.
The word “magnanimity” Is wrong in the context. The word you’re looking for is magnitude.
Magnanimity means high minded or generous.
IELTS - Writing - For Band 7 or Above.
- Thread starter H0peAndFa1th
- Start date
The word “magnanimity” Is wrong in the context. The word you’re looking for is magnitude.
Magnanimity means high minded or generous.
Hopeandfaith has done an excellent review and has made very good points.
Just a point on this line. The word virtuous is wrong in this context. The word you’re looking for is vicious.
Thanks for the kind words. I hope you all score the bands you need and desire. That will be really satisfying and pleasing for me.
And who said the guidance is free?? The drinks are on you my friend if we ever meet in Canada
I see you have added the word “decent” to your vocabulary. Well done mate!
When people move to another country, some of them decide to follow the customs of the new country. Others prefer to keep their own customs. Compare these two choices. Which one do you prefer?
Support your answer with specific details.
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
One of the most underestimated challenge in migrating to other country is adapting to the rituals of other culture. Many people do not realize the importance of cultural differences until they encounter any hard choices, which impacts the lifestyle of them and their family members. customs of any place are of utter importance and people cannot completely avoid them easily. Some people may comfortably adopt the customs of new country while other feel it very difficult to adjust with them, but in my opinion, a balanced approach the best way to survive in any nation.
There is a famous saying that ‘When you are in Rome, do as Romans do”. Many people believe in this philosophy and feel no hesitation in adopting the culture of host country. For instance. Liquor is forbidden in the religion of Islam, but it is widely consumed in the social gatherings of western countries. Some of the people coming from South Asian or Arab countries may have problem with that, but most of them do not hesitate to drink them once they have moved to western countries. They believe that inability to drink it makes them socially outcast and they cannot mingle with locals without loosening up over the drink. Hence, it is necessary for them if they want to progress socially and professionally.
On the other hand, a lot of Asians and Arabs never involve in activities conflicting with the religious values, practiced strictly in their hometowns. Rather, they setup a protection mechanism for themselves and their kids to avoid adopting such habits. For example, they arrange meetups of local like-minded people regularly to save their families from isolation and promote socialization with the right people. This enables them to develop a cosmos of their own, where they can live like their hometown.
However, I believe, a balanced approach is the best option to prosper in such circumstances. We should follow the local customs as long as they are not conflicting with one’s religious values. It is not necessary to meet locals in bars, one can socialize with them in sports clubs, fitness clubs or educational institutions. Therefore an opportunity is always there for whoever tries to identify it.
In brief, I would like to modify the famous Roman quotation as “ When you are Rome, do as Romans do, as long as it is not conflicting with your religious values”. We should compromise on all other customs to accommodate cultural differences except religion, which will be unacceptable by our God and loved ones.
Support your answer with specific details.
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
One of the most underestimated challenge in migrating to other country is adapting to the rituals of other culture. Many people do not realize the importance of cultural differences until they encounter any hard choices, which impacts the lifestyle of them and their family members. customs of any place are of utter importance and people cannot completely avoid them easily. Some people may comfortably adopt the customs of new country while other feel it very difficult to adjust with them, but in my opinion, a balanced approach the best way to survive in any nation.
There is a famous saying that ‘When you are in Rome, do as Romans do”. Many people believe in this philosophy and feel no hesitation in adopting the culture of host country. For instance. Liquor is forbidden in the religion of Islam, but it is widely consumed in the social gatherings of western countries. Some of the people coming from South Asian or Arab countries may have problem with that, but most of them do not hesitate to drink them once they have moved to western countries. They believe that inability to drink it makes them socially outcast and they cannot mingle with locals without loosening up over the drink. Hence, it is necessary for them if they want to progress socially and professionally.
On the other hand, a lot of Asians and Arabs never involve in activities conflicting with the religious values, practiced strictly in their hometowns. Rather, they setup a protection mechanism for themselves and their kids to avoid adopting such habits. For example, they arrange meetups of local like-minded people regularly to save their families from isolation and promote socialization with the right people. This enables them to develop a cosmos of their own, where they can live like their hometown.
However, I believe, a balanced approach is the best option to prosper in such circumstances. We should follow the local customs as long as they are not conflicting with one’s religious values. It is not necessary to meet locals in bars, one can socialize with them in sports clubs, fitness clubs or educational institutions. Therefore an opportunity is always there for whoever tries to identify it.
In brief, I would like to modify the famous Roman quotation as “ When you are Rome, do as Romans do, as long as it is not conflicting with your religious values”. We should compromise on all other customs to accommodate cultural differences except religion, which will be unacceptable by our God and loved ones.
ohhh shooot.. I spoiled everything with one word.. haven't used it for quite a while
Ha ha happens. You did kind of spoil the whole thing though. It became good from bad
Just kidding. It happens. Nothing to worry about.Hey Cajetan ... your question is not very clear to me.
Do you mind asking it with a bit more details?
Good!
Good.
All good. I think you're set for Task 1.I hope you can find out such a place for me in due time. I hope you can help me find such a place. Ask for help else it feels like you're ordering him to find a place
Looking forward to have a great time with you.
Regards,
AMK
Overall good intro!
Good!
Good!
Nice!
Good essay. Your point of view is clear and flows nicely. Conclusion is also good. Overall, you're moving towards a 7+ band. On a good exam day you can hope to get 8 also.
Hi friends, I would be highly obliged, if someone can review my essay and provide the feedback comments.
Prompt:
Some people say that advertising encourages us to buy things that we really do not need. Others say that advertisements tell us about new products that may improve our lives.
Which viewpoint do you agree with?
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Essay:
Advertising influence our shopping to a large extent. There is a group of people who believe that advertisement leads to a wasteful buying while the other group of people says that advertisements help them to be aware of the new products in the market that can lead us to a better life. In this essay, we will argue that advertisement is helpful but we need to be very conscious while making a buying decision based on the advertisement.
The Advertising industry is getting very professional. While planning an advertisement campaign, they understand the psychology and buying habits of their target customers. Accordingly, the product is presented in such a manner that the target customers are tempted to buy it. In addition, these advertising agencies target the customer those can be influenced easily like children and ladies. Sometimes these advertisements are presented far from reality.
In spite of all this, advertisements are very useful to us in multiple ways. Advertisement helps us to be aware of the new products introduced in the market. Moreover, the same product is offered by multiple companies. These companies present the salient features of their product through advertising., assisting us in comparing the product and deciding the most suitable product that serves our purpose. In addition, advertising also let us know about the offers and discounts. Thereby, helping us in saving the money by availing these discounts.
In this essay, we discussed that advertisements are very useful, provided we are very prudent while making the buying decisions based on the advertisements. Advertisements can definitely assist in making our life easy by creating awareness of the new products.
Prompt:
Some people say that advertising encourages us to buy things that we really do not need. Others say that advertisements tell us about new products that may improve our lives.
Which viewpoint do you agree with?
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Essay:
Advertising influence our shopping to a large extent. There is a group of people who believe that advertisement leads to a wasteful buying while the other group of people says that advertisements help them to be aware of the new products in the market that can lead us to a better life. In this essay, we will argue that advertisement is helpful but we need to be very conscious while making a buying decision based on the advertisement.
The Advertising industry is getting very professional. While planning an advertisement campaign, they understand the psychology and buying habits of their target customers. Accordingly, the product is presented in such a manner that the target customers are tempted to buy it. In addition, these advertising agencies target the customer those can be influenced easily like children and ladies. Sometimes these advertisements are presented far from reality.
In spite of all this, advertisements are very useful to us in multiple ways. Advertisement helps us to be aware of the new products introduced in the market. Moreover, the same product is offered by multiple companies. These companies present the salient features of their product through advertising., assisting us in comparing the product and deciding the most suitable product that serves our purpose. In addition, advertising also let us know about the offers and discounts. Thereby, helping us in saving the money by availing these discounts.
In this essay, we discussed that advertisements are very useful, provided we are very prudent while making the buying decisions based on the advertisements. Advertisements can definitely assist in making our life easy by creating awareness of the new products.
Decent intro.
Overall I liked this paragraph. The ideas are clear. The flow is good. Very nice!
Super!
Same thing on conclusion. I'm not entirely sure of the language in first line.
Overall, I liked the essay. I think both the middle paragraphs very good. There are no visible English or Grammar issues also. You definitely can score a high band. If you like, consider the suggestions made.
All the best!
Of course!... It's a deal....Thanks for the kind words. I hope you all score the bands you need and desire. That will be really satisfying and pleasing for me.
And who said the guidance is free?? The drinks are on you my friend if we ever meet in Canada
Thanks a lot for your feedback comments... I will surely consider your suggestions.