Turns out... they can indeed do it, I called them again and told them clearly that I have to get that letter, this guy explained to me that they can do it but the branch will reject me because I have to call "retail services" and not go to the branch i.e. call them directly (despite me calling before and being told it's not possible, but w/e).
Unfortunately, "retail bollocks" is closed now, so I have to call again on Monday, but he has left a note to them for me.
TL;DR Lloyds CAN PROVIDE the letter, you just have to call them and be very clear that you HAVE TO get that letter, they will then redirect you to "retail services" who will do the letter and post it.
Unfortunately, "retail bollocks" is closed now, so I have to call again on Monday, but he has left a note to them for me.
TL;DR Lloyds CAN PROVIDE the letter, you just have to call them and be very clear that you HAVE TO get that letter, they will then redirect you to "retail services" who will do the letter and post it.