frege said:
Hungary,
I'm sorry to hear this.
I think the visa officer would feel stupid saying that on the one hand, you now only want to return because of your husband, and on the other, that somehow the relationship isn't genuine. That would contradictory.
She probably didn't like your story for the PR card, because what's changed is that you now have a reason to return. When you didn't have a reason, you didn't try to. This must have been more significant to her than the fact that you didn't know the rules. But by the same token, if your husband is your reason to return, then the relationship must be genuine.
Since you've double-checked that you and your family meet the requirements for sponsorship, it's probably best not to appeal. You should probably let your PR lapse by not appealing, and either apply for sponsorship, or, if they tell you you can do this, revive your current application. (I presume you didn't ask to waive your appeal rights, which might have resulted in an immediate loss of PR status.) If you do run into trouble, then get a lawyer involved.
Before you decide not to appeal, try and get your GCMS notes so you can know what reasons were recorded for the PRTD decision. If there is any foundation to your worries about CIC not seeing your relationship as genuine, you ought to find it there.
It's too late now for you to regain your PR by living with your husband in England (I know that's not why you mentioned this), and I don't really see the point of that because there shouldn't be any serious doubts about the genuineness of your relationship.
The reason for the interview was probably that she felt she could be accused of not guaranteeing you procedural fairness if she didn't have one. You're right that her mind was probably made up, but she didn't want to be challenged on the grounds that she hadn't given you a chance.
I don't think anything terrible has happened here, where you should be reconsidering falling in love overseas. You'll probably just need to wait a few more months. Compared to other people, it's taken some extra time to go through the process of losing your PR.
Thank you Frege, it feels SO great to have people to talk to about this. Unfortunatley nobody understands it, and if I try to explain, I get wierd faces. :
I had a good sleep now, I don't feel so bad anymore.
You are probably right, she wanted to look like being fair. To tell the truth I do agree with her, as I wrote it to you before. I didn't know about my option and right to return, but its something like a person makes a crime and then she tells the judge that she didn't know it was something bad, she will end up in jail anyways.
The reason I had the feeling that she wasn't sure about my marriage is that she gave me a really really bad look when she asked into my "love" for my husband in the past... She said "You were only 10 or 11 years old!!!"
:-X so like I was lying or a "bad type of a woman" if you know what I mean. And then I started to explain that it was only a childish admiration towards him, but made a very strong impact on me and its still here in my heart.... Why is taht so impossible that someone finds her loved one at a very early age and she cant let this feeling go, and as a grown woman when it is legal it turns into REAL love. Especially the way he came here to me and courted and all that passion ahhhh... It was a dream come true. Like winning the lottery only more precious because its not material.
BUT anything I wanted to say just simply stuck into me getting that unbelief and woerd look... The interview situation is kind of awful, you walk through security check and then you sit in a tiny room , a "box" with a security window between you and the VO, talking into a microfone, you loose all your confidence and as soon as you are questioned you feel guilty.
And you may assume that I was not polite, or I look like a "low class" person or cannot talk sophistaceted etc, but nooooooooepe. I was not way too self confident, but not anxious, I was not way too serious but not flippant etc. Ah never mind.
The only reason of consedering the appeal is that I win time with it, which I can spend in Canada (she said appr. a year) so we can resubmit our sponsorship after that, and in that one we can show up a year living together.... We had no money to fly back and forth for years, I need 3 tickets for a trip and he only has 2 weeks holiday a year.... We didnt want to waist our time, so basically he came here, proposed right away and half a year later I made the trip with the two 2 years old and we got married... And submitted the app. And now we are both freaked out... There is a big age difference as well... I was married before... The kids are not common. I am thinking about giving this up and I will try to make him move to me. Or even to England he might feel more comfortable there.
But I will ask him to withdraw the sponsorship for now until we can show up some more time and visit. :'(
Thanks for the support and all your help!
