Sponsoring husband from Morocco

[vjamal]

so today the CIC changed for us to decision made so hopefully the call will be soon ...crossing my fingers and my toes!!!!!!

 

[djinna]

I hope you will get positive answer!!!!!!!

 

[locolynn]

so today the CIC changed for us to decision made so hopefully the call will be soon ...crossing my fingers and my toes!!!!!!

Crossing all crossables for you. The answer will be positive!

Lynn

 

[Habibti]

so today the CIC changed for us to decision made so hopefully the call will be soon ...crossing my fingers and my toes!!!!!!

Really! Can't wait to have the news! Still enjoying my time with my husband in Morocco but there is still the shadow of Immigration Canada... and I cannot feel 100% relax.

 

[Habibti]

Someone tell me... it is a cultural question and I got really upset. My husband borrowed the car from his brother for a couple of days. Yesterday my brother-in-law needed his car back. So my husband left last night around 8:30 and he said he would be back at 10:30. He had to go back to another city which is 30 minutes from where we rent a villa.

Last night I got quite busy with online work and then I realized it was 11:30. Since there was so much work, I continued working but I was worried. Finally, at 12:30 I text him... asking him where he was. He text me saying that he is waiting for his brother in a cafe as he will give him a ride home. At 1:00 I decided to go to bed as I was very tired. I felt asleep right away and woke up at 3:00 am. My husband was not there! I freaked out! I text him.. no answer. I text him 10 minutes later... no answer. I tried to call him, it was a recorded message from Meditel. I was in total panic. Ten minutes later I text him again. Finally he text back saying not to worry and he is coming.

He got home at 4:00 am !!!! I was mad at him. He said there were visitors last night at his house and he took coffee with them until 11:30. Then, he had a hard time to find a taxi. His brother who is working in their shop told him he would give him a ride once the shop is closed. So when they closed the shop, my husband, his brother and their friend got in the car. They took a wrong turn and it reminded them of a place where they used to go during their childhood. They spent some time there.

My husband says it is in their culture not to tell their wife when they are out. His father used to do that with his mother, not telling where he was going and when he was coming back. My husband said that I should not have worried and sleep since I was safe and sound. It was not like I was in the middle of the jungle! He also said that when people are not working, day becomes night and night becomes day. They live with the flow... they have no routine. After some discussion, he admitted what he did was wrong, that is not having the consideration to think of me in all this. He said next time, he will communicate more with me.

Is that right that it is in their Moroccan culture to act like this? I find it sad as it damages the trust I have for him...

 

[gracekhalid]

I dont think it is uncommon for Moroccans to socialize late at night..I couldn't believe the first time I came how late people stay up at night. However i do think it is a respect issue if your husband didn't keep in contact with you if he was going to be that late especially if it was an unexpected thing. If my husband did that to me I would definitely give him quite an earful..lol..I wouldn't worry if it is just a one time thing..enjoy your time with your husband and I truly hope everything works out for you guys

 

[CharlieD10]

I'm just going to jump in and say it's not so much a cultural thing as it may be a guy thing. I have a husband and a younger brother who will read me the Riot Act if I am traveling alone and don't stay in touch with them constantly. They, on the other hand, feel no such compunction to advise me of their movements!

When I was landing last month, my flight was delayed on the ground for 2 hours, so I didn't clear Customs and Immigration until almost 4 hours later than expected. Then, I discovered my cell phone would not pick up a signal, although it was set to roam. I did manage to get online, only to have my brother freak out on me that I was late checking in, what on earth was going on, etc etc. I cannot tell you how many times he has driven the 3.5 hours to visit me in Kingston (our family lives on the opposite end of the island), solemnly promised to call me when he arrives back home, and done no such thing. I, of course, was never expected to freak out and get mad at him for not contacting me. Never mind that he was on the road at all hours and my countrymen drive like madmen for the most part (I'm not kidding, they do).

As for my husband, well. He jumped into life in Jamaica and was on his own quite often because I worked long hours. I would come home to hear of jaunts to neighbouring parishes (no discussions beforehand to say he was going), and once he even went on a trip that was supposed to be for a couple hours that turned into him coming home at 3 a.m. I got no texts, no calls to say "Hey, we're going to hang out here a bit longer", oh no, because THAT might have been too much trouble! :

After once discussing with my husband that it was not fair to be out all hours and not expect me to worry, seeing as how he worried when we were apart, I let the matter go. I pick my battles, and going on about that particular piece of male boneheadedness just isn't one I want to fight often.

 

[dair2dv8103100]

habibti...

It is completely normal in their culture. And for it to happen once ... I would not worry. You did the right thing by communicating that you were uncomfortable, worried and upset. His initial response is completely normal for a Moroccan man as well but the fact that he finally agreed that it was not the best decision is good....as long as he does not continue to do it. But you can expect it occasionally from them.

My husband explained to me a long time ago that if a Moroccan says... I will be back in 5 min - expect about 20-30 min and if they say meet me in 1 hour at the cafe - expect at least 2 hours. He proved this one time when I was there and very sick. He left me at his sisters house to go home and get some fresh clothes and such. Said he would be back "soon"... hahahaha that was first thing in the morning. By 6pm even his sister was calling him (he left his cell in my room *sigh) He had called about 4pm from a pay phone to say he was on his way......He finally arrived about 8pm.... its less than hour away!! Even his sister gave him an earful hahaha. She understood that I am not from there and that my culture is very different and how we are very literal about arriving when we say we will and calling if that changes and that "soon" actually means soon .. NOT 4 hours later!!! She told him...your wife is sick.. what if she needed to see a Dr today? How is she supposed to do that when I am working and you are not here to help her? etc etc lol

Well, to make a short story long.. haha he realised his mistake and I never experienced that with him again. So as much as I understand your feelings... I also recommend letting it go. If it doesn't happen again ... don't worry about it. Enjoy your time

 

[Habibti]

Thank you Grace, Charlie and Dair. Yes, I let it go finally. It was just that I was in a high state of anxiety. I did not yell or got upset with him. I just told him how I felt. All this time he was listening and very calm. He was very very affectionate, soft and loving. He gave me the phone numbers of all his brothers and I felt a bit better. He said he won't do it again and I believe him. Oh! God! I could never live or adapt to that country. It is too much in disarray. My husband does not like it either. He craves for structure, organization, order, stability and routine. He can't wait to be in Canada for this reason, other than being with me as a real husband.

 

[vjamal]

GREAT news guys my husband got his call for his visa for then end of august im really happy its my birthday gift to me yayyyyyyyy finally this nightmare is done and finshed ...........finally we can breath..................

 

[locolynn]

GREAT news guys my husband got his call for his visa for then end of august im really happy its my birthday gift to me yayyyyyyyy finally this nightmare is done and finshed ...........finally we can breath..................

That is fantastic news! Congratulations!!! I hope you and your husband will be very happy together.

 

[Habibti]

GREAT news guys my husband got his call for his visa for then end of august im really happy its my birthday gift to me yayyyyyyyy finally this nightmare is done and finshed ...........finally we can breath..................

Congratulations! Félicitations!


FANTASTIC NEWS Vjamal! See? Your nightmare is over!!! There is no reason to envy me anymore lol

It has been 3 weeks since the appeal. I don't enjoy my time here anymore. I do enjoy it to some degree, but I feel the weight of the anxiety each morning I get up and I am wondering what I am doing here. My husband and I don't know what to talk about anymore. Our future in Canada is now a taboo subject. If we start talking about it, we feel our hearts bleeding.

On top of that, my husband is not all there... He started to get trained in a bank in the credit department. He was told his probationary period would be 3 months. After 3 months, my husband asked for a position. They said that the probationary period was not 3 months, but 6 months. So end of March my husband asked for a position. They told him he has to do an extra 3 months. He accepted. His last day of "work" was end of June. For 10 days, he did not hear from them. Finally he called the bank yesterday and he was told he has to do another 3 months of training if he wants to get a position. My husband said no. He has enough to work long hours for just a meager salary. He wants a real position with a real salary so he can start saving for his trip to Canada.

Day after day he is not working and I see him depressing a little, losing his enthusiasm for life and doing things with me.

It is enough... I disgress. Very sorry. I just woke up on the wrong foot this morning.

Vjamal.... congratulations! I am so happy it will happen at the same time of your birthday. Your dark moment of life is finally over and as you said you can breathe! You have always been in my thoughts and always wished you well. Now a page of your life is turned and you can now embark in a new adventure with your husband. I wish you both of you blessings and a happy new beginning. Big hug.

 

[gracekhalid]

Vjamal, congratulations and all the best to both of you. Here's to many many happy years together !!!!

 

[FatimZahra]

GREAT news guys my husband got his call for his visa for then end of august im really happy its my birthday gift to me yayyyyyyyy finally this nightmare is done and finshed ...........finally we can breath..................

Congratulations to you and your husband!!! Wishing you both a beautiful life together!!!

 

[dair2dv8103100]

Congratulations vjamal... very happy for your good news!!