Sponsoring husband from Morocco

[ayoublajoul]

we get refuse again even with human rights complaint and lawyer and even my wife is pregnant we still refused by canadian embassy in rabat so should we appeal and how process is going help please

 

[habeeb]

@ayoublajoul

So sorry to hear this awful news, I know how devastating it is. You have to understand there are no guarantees in this process, even being pregnant means nothing to the embassy. They only look at you like a number and have no empathy or care for you as a couple, which is really sad.

You will get a letter from the embassy either in person at the end of the interview or by email. Your sponsor will get a copy by email along with a form to fill out if you wish to appeal the decision. She only has 30 days to fill it out and mail it back. You don't have to hire a lawyer or consultant for this just fill it and send it as soon as possible to start the process. Then you can decide if you want to hire a lawyer/consultant once it's filed. It takes a couple of months after that to get a copy of your file ("blue book") from Rabat. The wait is terribly long to get a hearing for appeal, at least 1 year if the sponsor is in Vancouver but in Toronto it's 2 to 2 and a half years. I'm so sorry to give you this awful news but you have to move quickly to file the request to appeal. Depending on the nature of your refusal there is a possibility of an alternative to appeal court called ADR, but it's out of your hands whether you will be chosen by immigration for this or not. If your case is simple to resolve they will and it only takes about 6 months or so. If your case is not simple to resolve and they want you to be interviewed then it will have to go to court.

There is an appeal thread on here that is also very helpful in the process go to:

http://www.canadavisa.com/canada-immigration-discussion-board/all-spouse-appeal-cases-come-here-and-join-us-plz-t87619.5625.html

Just be prepared for a long long wait and I wish you good luck akhoya

 

[jamali]

we get refuse again even with human rights complaint and lawyer and even my wife is pregnant we still refused by canadian embassy in rabat so should we appeal and how process is going help please

I'm sorry to hear that you got refused again. Tell me, did you do another interview?

Habeeb is right about the waiting times. I have a friend who was doing an appeal through Montreal and they told her the wait is about 3 years for full hearing. The couples who get ADR are lucky to get this, but again you have to be very prepared to be successful.

Good luck to you and your wife!

 

[Habibti]

Hi Habibti..really i am so sorry to see you going through all this. I wish you all the best and i hope things work out for you. As you know we just won our appeal and my husband will be coming here as . I have already anticipated problems that will most likely appear. I k now it maybe wishful thinking but i hope things will not be so bad. i have some ideas ...first of all he is joining ESL classes, maybe local soccer club. I have a couple of job opportunities aligned for him. Well like you i think i did my best. now only time will show. Do you think your husband was serious when he said he had a mood disorder? Maybe he really does...maybe he needs some help. i think once he goes to morocco he may miss it here. i hear it happens a lot. Really i wish things work out for you...you have put so much into your relationship and have been so patient with him i really admire you. I dont believe i could be the same..i expect him to make his life here his priority. He will have to help out and its in his best interest to adjust fast. I am not just saying that as i am also an immigrant. When i came here i really did not want to as it was my parents decision..but i realized i am in this country i need to adjust to the way of life here and make the best of it. I expect others to do the same. maybe i am harsh but that is my way of seeing this. I am just sorry because you have invested so much and yet suffered because of your kindness.

Thank you soblue3 for your kindness. I hope there is a mosque or a Moroccan community where you live. Once every 2 months, my husband would go downtown Vancouver to spend the day & evening with the Moroccan community when he was feeling too homesick. Also, since there are several mosques around here, he would go often. Yes, my husband has a mood disorder due to his thyroid. Since April, he has been taking medication. He left yesterday for Morocco and I think he forgot to ask his doctor to have enough pills for the two months he will be in Morocco

But there is more to it... a few weeks before he left I learned things about his childhood that are quite traumatic and I understood why these have seriously affected our marriage. I told him that even if he decides to separate from me to be with someone else eventually, he will have to face his issues again with that new wife. PEOPLE ON THIS FORUM.... YOU DON'T KNOW MUCH ABOUT YOUR SPOUSE. You are all in the honeymoon phase and once reality, daily life takes place, everything capsizes. Wounds from the past re-open because you trigger (unconsciously) them or some situations in Canada trigger them and then difficulties appear. Thanks God my husband said he would go into therapy at his return. He said that one week before he left and again the day he went to the airport.

During the time he will be in Morocco, I hope he will seriously reflect on what I told him before he left (how much he has caused me grief and how much he damaged the beautiful love we had for each other). My hope is very low that he will want to reconcile based on what I am asking from him (even though my demands are VERY reasonable). It is in April he found a cheap ticket for Morocco and the night before his departure he realized for the first time he was leaving Canada for Morocco and he had an anxiety attack. To my great surprise (because since June I felt most of the times he walked away from our marriage), he said: "I am not sure I want to leave! I got used to my life in Canada and I can't live my life without you. You are my first love and it is with you I had my most beautiful moments." Also he is afraid of what he will find or see once in Morocco... for example his people in Morocco have changed physically and other things he will find over there are no longer what it used to be. Or, perhaps he will get used to his old life again (in Morocco) and won't want to come back to Canada?

Anyway... I do miss him even though what he did to me was not right and fair. His absence is harder on me than I thought. (sigh)

 

[Habibti]

@ Habibti

O my dear I am in tears to hear about your sorrows. It really is so hard, some people don't adjust as easily as others. I'm surprised to hear your husband's struggle with the non-Islamic lifestyle here. In my travels I have seen plenty of women in Morocco that dress very revealing, just the same as women do here. And I don't find a great deal of Moroccans to be truly devout. O, they say their prayers and fast for Ramadan and give to the poor and even go to the mosque routinely but they live their lives completely contrary to the principles of the Qura'an, drinking, sleeping around, cheating one another, stealing, taking and expecting bribes. I am not at all surprised to hear about the dishonesty with money issues tho. They don't seem to know how to handle money, how to save for the future or spend wisely. They just go thru it like water and waste it. And they don't seem to be too concerned about going into debt or putting others in debt either. I think it's a cultural thing, because no one has money over there they don't know what to do with it. Gosh I sound awfully jaded don't I? No, I have no delusions about these things. Their culture and history gives them a completely different mindset than we have here and it seems ludicrous to us but it makes sense to them, and I know they feel the same way about us here in the west in a lot of ways too. I have the same issues with my husband and money. And the honeymoon period is wearing out now I am seeing him for what he is, and he is seeing me for what I am too. It's been rough lately, we have fought a lot and I have spent many many nights crying. I still love him with all my heart and am just trying the best I can to cope and get through this horrendous process. But I suspect that your husband's main problem is not with you at all. I think it is a natural homesickness that many experience but not all. It will be a good thing for him to go back home and remember life is not so wonderful as he thinks it was and he will come back to you because life is much better here. At least we can build a future more so than they can over there. Let go of him for now, I'm sure he will run back to you and be happy to yield to your requests for transparency. If not, as heart-breaking as it will be, you will be better off in the end. My prayers are with you habibti you have the most wonderful spirit and I know you can overcome whatever happens with grace and will come thru better and stronger in the end.

Dear habeeb... everything you expressed is so true! You have a fine and sharp understanding of things and life. Don't be too sad for me as I see you have your own painful struggles and I am real sorry about those

I just wrote a reply to soblue3 before this one. But I would like to add this:

Moroccan men who are marrying Canadian women or who want to marry one of them: PLEASE UNDERSTAND THIS... CANADA MIGHT BE A RICH, WELL STRUCTURED COUNTRY WITH LOTS OF VERY GOOD OPPORTUNITIES, BUT IT DOES NOT MEAN THAT ALL PEOPLE ARE WELL-OFF. EXPECT TO WORK A LOT FOR LOW WAGES. EXPECT TO WORK LONG HOURS AND DO LOTS OF COMMUTING. Before my husband came to Canada (and this is what people in Morocco believe too), he thought he would work a couple of weeks, making lots and lots of money, then take one or two weeks vacation and start working again for a couple of weeks and so on. He realized it was not the case. He worked many jobs minimum wage, some of them physically hard. He tried to explain that to his people in Morocco and they still DON'T believe him.

YOUR SPOUSE DOES MANY SACRIFICES AND HAS TO GIVE UP ON MANY THINGS SO YOU CAN BE HERE IN CANADA AND MY HOPE IS THAT YOU WILL HONOR HER SACRIFICES. YOUR SPOUSE MIGHT BE ON THE FRONT LINE AND USING HER ASSETS AS A PAWN... EVERYTHING SHE HAS WORKED FOR SO HARD FOR SO LONG.

I am about to lose my house. It is more than a house and a land. It is MY HOME. My home so sweet home where I raised my son. I have been here for 16 years. I had to take a 2nd mortgage to cover all the costs related to immigration, my traveling expenses to visit my husband and the appeal. The first year he was here I had to use my credit card a lot, so now it is full (interests are a big culprit).

DON'T LIE TO YOUR SPOUSE, DON'T CHEAT HER. IT IS NOT BECAUSE SHE IS NOT MUSLIM YOU HAVE THE RIGHT TO DO SO. DON'T DO ANYTHING BEHIND HER BACK WITHOUT CONSULTATION. My husband uses the excuse of culture to justify his acts. It is not because it is in your culture that it is right to do so!!! For example, sending money to your family or paying things for them is WRONG UNLESS YOU HAVE PERMANENT STEADY EMPLOYMENT THAT PAYS MORE THAN MINIMUM WAGE. YOU DON'T HAVE THE RIGHT NOT TO REVEAL HOW MUCH YOU EARN OR NOT TO REVEAL ANY OTHER MONEY IF IT MEANS IT IS DONE AT YOUR SPOUSE'S EXPENSES!!!

BE LOYAL, JUST AND HONEST AND YOU WILL HAVE A GOOD MARRIAGE. Recognize everything your spouse has done so you can have a chance to have a very good life in Canada with her.

 

[soblue3]

Thank you soblue3 for your kindness. I hope there is a mosque or a Moroccan community where you live. Once every 2 months, my husband would go downtown Vancouver to spend the day & evening with the Moroccan community when he was feeling too homesick. Also, since there are several mosques around here, he would go often. Yes, my husband has a mood disorder due to his thyroid. Since April, he has been taking medication. He left yesterday for Morocco and I think he forgot to ask his doctor to have enough pills for the two months he will be in Morocco

But there is more to it... a few weeks before he left I learned things about his childhood that are quite traumatic and I understood why these have seriously affected our marriage. I told him that even if he decides to separate from me to be with someone else eventually, he will have to face his issues again with that new wife. PEOPLE ON THIS FORUM.... YOU DON'T KNOW MUCH ABOUT YOUR SPOUSE. You are all in the honeymoon phase and once reality, daily life takes place, everything capsizes. Wounds from the past re-open because you trigger (unconsciously) them or some situations in Canada trigger them and then difficulties appear. Thanks God my husband said he would go into therapy at his return. He said that one week before he left and again the day he went to the airport.

During the time he will be in Morocco, I hope he will seriously reflect on what I told him before he left (how much he has caused me grief and how much he damaged the beautiful love we had for each other). My hope is very low that he will want to reconcile based on what I am asking from him (even though my demands are VERY reasonable). It is in April he found a cheap ticket for Morocco and the night before his departure he realized for the first time he was leaving Canada for Morocco and he had an anxiety attack. To my great surprise (because since June I felt most of the times he walked away from our marriage), he said: "I am not sure I want to leave! I got used to my life in Canada and I can't live my life without you. You are my first love and it is with you I had my most beautiful moments." Also he is afraid of what he will find or see once in Morocco... for example his people in Morocco have changed physically and other things he will find over there are no longer what it used to be. Or, perhaps he will get used to his old life again (in Morocco) and won't want to come back to Canada?

Anyway... I do miss him even though what he did to me was not right and fair. His absence is harder on me than I thought. (sigh)

Hey Habibti. I am sure he will miss Canada and you. I leave pretty close to you...so no there are no mosques..but my husband is not very religious. he does practice ramadan and does not drink or eat pork..but i have not seen him praying ever and he never mentioned going to the mosque when i was there. i am sure he will mostly miss the time with his friends and coffee. but our plan is as soon as he gets here to start esl classes there are some very close to my home. Soccer club...and of course job search. I dont think it wold be good for him to right away starting to hang out with people from his country. specially the ones who dont like it here and who think its ok to just to spend a whole day in a mosque. I did not see nobody in his country doing it. They work fridays and any other days if required. Yes i agree with you that even though people talk together for hours it is not the same as living and being together every day. But i dont expect him to show me that he mislead me or lied to me about his goals and expectations. I will not accommodate that either. Really i hope your husband realizes how good you have been to him. Like i said before..you seem so patient and accommodating with him. He wishes he had a muslim wife...well muslim women will not marry a man unless he can give them a house and support them. You let him even buy a ticket back even though you guys have been having hard time. I think if my husband plans to travel it will be with me. we already agreed on that. Like i said i am probably not as patient as you. he is a lucky guy so i hope he realizes it very soon. He wanted to come here so he needs to try his hardest to adjust. I bet you when he is in morocco he will miss many things about this place. it is clean and safe here and many opportunities for people who want to try. I am sorry you having a hard time.

 

[ayoublajoul]

@ ayoublajoul

So sorry to hear this awful news, I know how devastating it is. You have to understand there are no guarantees in this process, even being pregnant means nothing to the embassy. They only look at you like a number and have no empathy or care for you as a couple, which is really sad.

You will get a letter from the embassy either in person at the end of the interview or by email. Your sponsor will get a copy by email along with a form to fill out if you wish to appeal the decision. She only has 30 days to fill it out and mail it back. You don't have to hire a lawyer or consultant for this just fill it and send it as soon as possible to start the process. Then you can decide if you want to hire a lawyer/consultant once it's filed. It takes a couple of months after that to get a copy of your file ("blue book") from Rabat. The wait is terribly long to get a hearing for appeal, at least 1 year if the sponsor is in Vancouver but in Toronto it's 2 to 2 and a half years. I'm so sorry to give you this awful news but you have to move quickly to file the request to appeal. Depending on the nature of your refusal there is a possibility of an alternative to appeal court called ADR, but it's out of your hands whether you will be chosen by immigration for this or not. If your case is simple to resolve they will and it only takes about 6 months or so. If your case is not simple to resolve and they want you to be interviewed then it will have to go to court.

There is an appeal thread on here that is also very helpful in the process go to:

http://www.canadavisa.com/canada-immigration-discussion-board/all-spouse-appeal-cases-come-here-and-join-us-plz-t87619.5625.html

Just be prepared for a long long wait and I wish you good luck akhoya

thanks habib and jamali i know we have no choose but wait
i think we will appeal through vancouver because my wife from nunavut and now my daughther will born in 9 or 12 december and thats killing me i was far away from my wife but now i will be far away from my daughther too

 

[ayoublajoul]

I'm sorry to hear that you got refused again. Tell me, did you do another interview?

Habeeb is right about the waiting times. I have a friend who was doing an appeal through Montreal and they told her the wait is about 3 years for full hearing. The couples who get ADR are lucky to get this, but again you have to be very prepared to be successful.

Good luck to you and your wife!

yes i did interview and its was really horrible because 2 hours of question she keep asking me why i didnt celebrat my marriage althrough i did a small one
my question to you guys if our appeal sent to ADR what process will take and how long gonna take for visa issued if we win appeal in ADR

 

[jamali]

yes i did interview and its was really horrible because 2 hours of question she keep asking me why i didnt celebrat my marriage althrough i did a small one
my question to you guys if our appeal sent to ADR what process will take and how long gonna take for visa issued if we win appeal in ADR

I'm sorry to hear it was such a terrible interview.

If you are lucky you will get ADR. This process is not like the full hearing, it will be less informal. During the ADR it is important that you prepare your new proofs and it is important that your wife respond well to all the reasons of why you were refused. Your wife must be well prepared and hope that the people at the ADR don't want to talk to you. If they do want to talk to you, they won't call you instead they will put the ADR off and go to a full hearing. This will mean more waiting time. Once your wife files the appeal, you will hear within about 6 months if you get selected for ADR.

Either way, if you do ADR or full hearing and win, you won't get your visa until between 6 to 8 months after your win. During this time they will ask you for updated forms such as medical and police certificate.

Good luck!

 

[scylla]

I am about to lose my house. It is more than a house and a land. It is MY HOME. My home so sweet home where I raised my son. I have been here for 16 years. I had to take a 2nd mortgage to cover all the costs related to immigration, my traveling expenses to visit my husband and the appeal. The first year he was here I had to use my credit card a lot, so now it is full (interests are a big culprit).

DON'T LIE TO YOUR SPOUSE, DON'T CHEAT HER. IT IS NOT BECAUSE SHE IS NOT MUSLIM YOU HAVE THE RIGHT TO DO SO. DON'T DO ANYTHING BEHIND HER BACK WITHOUT CONSULTATION. My husband uses the excuse of culture to justify his acts. It is not because it is in your culture that it is right to do so!!! For example, sending money to your family or paying things for them is WRONG UNLESS YOU HAVE PERMANENT STEADY EMPLOYMENT THAT PAYS MORE THAN MINIMUM WAGE. YOU DON'T HAVE THE RIGHT NOT TO REVEAL HOW MUCH YOU EARN OR NOT TO REVEAL ANY OTHER MONEY IF IT MEANS IT IS DONE AT YOUR SPOUSE'S EXPENSES!!

Habibti - I was so sorry to read your update. I think it's good that your husband has returned to Morocco to think through things and I hope he uses this time to seriously reflect on his behaviour. I also hope that you are taking this time to review your relationship and decide whether it's right for you as well. The sacrifices you have made are too great. Your husband needs to make a complete attitude change and truly commit to your relationship. It also doesn't sound to me like your husband is mature enough to be handling money. Coming for someone in the banking industry, he fits the profile of someone who should not have access to a credit card. Also, you should be the one making any significant financial decisions for the household. If this isn't something he's willing to agree to when he returns and he continues to use culture as an excuse, I would seriously rethink this relationship. Good luck - I hope things work out for the best.

 

[Habibti]

Habibti - I was so sorry to read your update. I think it's good that your husband has returned to Morocco to think through things and I hope he uses this time to seriously reflect on his behaviour. I also hope that you are taking this time to review your relationship and decide whether it's right for you as well. The sacrifices you have made are too great. Your husband needs to make a complete attitude change and truly commit to your relationship. It also doesn't sound to me like your husband is mature enough to be handling money. Coming for someone in the banking industry, he fits the profile of someone who should not have access to a credit card. Also, you should be the one making any significant financial decisions for the household. If this isn't something he's willing to agree to when he returns and he continues to use culture as an excuse, I would seriously rethink this relationship. Good luck - I hope things work out for the best.

Hello Scylla! I do remember you!
Yes, he will take the time to think through things and also speak to the right people about the issues we have and about my reasonable demands and expectations.
My husband is against everything that is credit, interest, mortgage... he says it is against Islam. I was referring to my credit card that is full because the first year I had to provide for my son and my husband with ONE salary.
It is thanks to me he was able to send money to his family from time to time and to afford to spend 2 months in Morocco. Since he did not want to reveal his income or any other source of money (for example in August I discovered he received $12,000 from the car insurance company and he told me the amount he received was $2,000), I believed him when half the times he would say he could not contribute fully to our expenses. Basically he saved money on my back.
Thanks for your good wishes and all the best to you!

 

[ayoublajoul]

I'm sorry to hear it was such a terrible interview.

If you are lucky you will get ADR. This process is not like the full hearing, it will be less informal. During the ADR it is important that you prepare your new proofs and it is important that your wife respond well to all the reasons of why you were refused. Your wife must be well prepared and hope that the people at the ADR don't want to talk to you. If they do want to talk to you, they won't call you instead they will put the ADR off and go to a full hearing. This will mean more waiting time. Once your wife files the appeal, you will hear within about 6 months if you get selected for ADR.

Either way, if you do ADR or full hearing and win, you won't get your visa until between 6 to 8 months after your win. During this time they will ask you for updated forms such as medical and police certificate.

Good luck! thanks for your explain jamali really you are nice person
im so sorry to ask so much but i have one more question
after if we win the appeal where our file will gonna send and who will contunie the process ?

 

[jamali]

You're welcome Ayoublajoul .. it's no problem about many questions.

After you win your appeal, your file will sent to either Rabat or Ottawa. I think it's most likely that your file will be sent back to Rabat to continue with the processing.

 

[Mbensalah]

@ Mbensalah

Welcome to the forum to you too!

All I can say is knuckle down and prepare to wait patiently. It is a very long process. It takes at least 7 months before you will hear anything, and you will likely get a request for him to go for an interview at the Canadian Embassy in Rabat then. It takes about 6 months for them to do all the background checks, and that was 2 years ago so processing times have only gotten longer since then. Try to keep yourself busy, it helps the time pass faster!

Thank you @habeeb just been feeling like I been waiting forever

 

[goatlove]

Hey/salam ladies and Eid mubarak.

My husband and I just came back from morocco last month. I can't believe how busy it is in the summer there!! way too busy! Alhamdu lillah, was still nice though. It's crazy to think my husband landed almost 2 years ago?! He's adjusted well and he actually really appreciates how things are much more organized here like the driving lol. He appreciates the beauty of all the nature we're blessed with here also. Habibti pointed out some good points. They shouldn't have unrealistic expectations of the so called "American Dream" before landing or else they will have a very difficult time. Life in canada ain't easy. We all work hard. As habibti said, long hours and hard work is what it takes to make a life even in a developed country like ours. I hope and pray things work out with your husband habibti. You've been such a devoted and dedicated wife which isn't easy to find!


Soblue: I just wanted to say something about what you had mentioned earlier:

well muslim women will not marry a man unless he can give them a house and support them.

Myself being raised a muslim(an independent muslim) by a very independent muslim Mom, felt the need to point out how wrong that is. I didn't look for a man who can support me and give me a house. I looked for a man with strong faith in God. This is what's most valuable to me being a Muslim woman and I know I speak for several other muslim women.
Yes, culturally, many women won't marry unless the man can support them but culture and religion are 2 completely separate things.

Hope all goes well with your hubby's arrival!!!!