Sponsoring husband from Morocco

[rjessome]

Hey bubbleboy! How have you been? How's your wife? I hope things are going well for you both. The first year is pretty tough isn't it? So much to adjust to in a new culture. Don't let those random comments bother you. When people get taken in by a "shark" they will blame anything that will hurt them, including the country that person came from. A few people have definitely found some Moroccan sharks but if you go through other threads on the forum you will find sharks from almost all countries represented! Don't take it personally.

smalls - you haven't been in Canada very long. And you are right to tell people not to expect the same treatment as they would have in Morocco because this isn't Morocco. It's Canada. Different culture, different attitudes and different beliefs. That doesn't make it bad, just different. In fact there are plenty of good things in Canadian culture that you get to enjoy. Like not having to pay bakshish. And, as a woman, not having to worry about being regularly followed around by random men is a huge plus. I'll never forget the time I was working in Marrakech and was walking back to my apartment from Gueliz by myself. It was early evening and this guy followed me all the way from Gueliz to Djemma el Fna! He was on a motor bike and I was walking and he just trailed along after me trying to get me to talk to him. I ignored him for awhile, then said baad mnni and tini ttsaa but it didn't help. He didn't go away until I ran into a friend of my husband who had some VERY interesting things to say to him. Things like that would happen all the time if I was walking alone.

So no, it's not the same but there are good and bad things to each. You probably just need more time to adjust.

 

[ddobro2]

Aww, thank you, but I wouldn't say I'm that experienced compared to what others have gone though. It's actually not even a big deal compared to what he must be going through because 1) I immigrated with my family to the U.S. from Russia when I was around 6 or 7. On the one hand, I think kids do get pretty affected by change, and kids have to deal with mean kids like adults don't. I still remember being made fun of for my sucky English. But then again, they say kids are "resilient" and when you're that young, it's not that big of a change because you haven't lived half your life in a different culture and now everything is different. You also don't have to worry about finding a job or keeping afloat financially. And 2) now my immigration is from the U.S. to Canada, which is not exactly a culture clash, although I am here in Quebec, which is certainly a "special" part of Canada, culturally-speaking, lol. So even though someone coming to the West after living for their whole life in Morocco has certainly got it rougher, I think the general feeling is the same - the change, the culture clash, really makes you question who you are and where you belong. The good thing is that I think you CAN balance being Moroccan and Canadian, it just takes some work and practice. But I know it's hard to be "neither here nor there." :-\

Ddobro, that's why you're experienced
Ddobro, did your first immigration fail or was it to another country? Sorry for being nosy

 

[ddobro2]

Wow, what an unfortunate incident. There's street harassment in the U.S. but I think it's different because the broader culture doesn't condone it. I'm wondering how Morocco is vis-a-vis street harassment. It can't be as bad as Egypt, right? (sorry to any Egyptians but I'm just saying it like it is, from the countless stories I've heard).

And, as a woman, not having to worry about being regularly followed around by random men is a huge plus. I'll never forget the time I was working in Marrakech and was walking back to my apartment from Gueliz by myself. It was early evening and this guy followed me all the way from Gueliz to Djemma el Fna! He was on a motor bike and I was walking and he just trailed along after me trying to get me to talk to him. I ignored him for awhile, then said baad mnni and tini ttsaa but it didn't help. He didn't go away until I ran into a friend of my husband who had some VERY interesting things to say to him. Things like that would happen all the time if I was walking alone.

So no, it's not the same but there are good and bad things to each. You probably just need more time to adjust.

 

[rjessome]

Wow, what an unfortunate incident. There's street harassment in the U.S. but I think it's different because the broader culture doesn't condone it. I'm wondering how Morocco is vis-a-vis street harassment. It can't be as bad as Egypt, right? (sorry to any Egyptians but I'm just saying it like it is, from the countess stories I've heard).

That was one of many but I remember it clearly because the walk from my office to the square was about 30 minutes and he followed me the whole way. It kinda freaked me out a little because I liked walking home alone to destress after a busy day. Not sure if you've been to Marrakech but I always found Gueliz pretty safe to walk around by myself. There were a few times it happened there but generally, once they knew I could speak some Arabic they would go away. That situation was unique for Gueliz. The medina is a whole other story. As a woman, you just should not walk by yourself. End of story. Always in pairs there. Or know exactly where you are going and walk fast and do not respond to any of the catcalls. But you can't stroll by yourself there. Although I love Marrakech and consider it "my city", I always felt more at ease in Essouaira where they were definitely less aggressive. I had a bad experience in Agadir too althought I love that place as well. But you have to adjust when you go there just like people have to adjust when they come here. It's not easy either way.

I've heard some stuff about Egypt too but haven't been there. Similar stories with the following but some of the results sound worse than Morocco. Again, just stories so I don't know.

 

[Quince777]

Aww, thank you, but I wouldn't say I'm that experienced compared to what others have gone though. It's actually not even a big deal compared to what he must be going through because 1) I immigrated with my family to the U.S. from Russia when I was around 6 or 7. On the one hand, I think kids do get pretty affected by change, and kids have to deal with mean kids like adults don't. I still remember being made fun of for my sucky English. But then again, they say kids are "resilient" and when you're that young, it's not that big of a change because you haven't lived half your life in a different culture and now everything is different. You also don't have to worry about finding a job or keeping afloat financially. And 2) now my immigration is from the U.S. to Canada, which is not exactly a culture clash, although I am here in Quebec, which is certainly a "special" part of Canada, culturally-speaking, lol. So even though someone coming to the West after living for their whole life in Morocco has certainly got it rougher, I think the general feeling is the same - the change, the culture clash, really makes you question who you are and where you belong. The good thing is that I think you CAN balance being Moroccan and Canadian, it just takes some work and practice. But I know it's hard to be "neither here nor there." :-\

Looking at your pic I thought you were maybe Polish Yes, Quebec is different even for me and I'm from Ontario, starting from roads and ending with food and culture. I agree with you that immigration is not easy because you basically start from zero everything again, adapting to different cultrue, lifestyle and people, establishing yourself in a new society. Btw, I'm also from post-Soviet country and speak Russian Yay!

 

[Quince777]

That was one of many but I remember it clearly because the walk from my office to the square was about 30 minutes and he followed me the whole way. It kinda freaked me out a little because I liked walking home alone to destress after a busy day. Not sure if you've been to Marrakech but I always found Gueliz pretty safe to walk around by myself. There were a few times it happened there but generally, once they knew I could speak some Arabic they would go away. That situation was unique for Gueliz. The medina is a whole other story. As a woman, you just should not walk by yourself. End of story. Always in pairs there. Or know exactly where you are going and walk fast and do not respond to any of the catcalls. But you can't stroll by yourself there. Although I love Marrakech and consider it "my city", I always felt more at ease in Essouaira where they were definitely less aggressive. I had a bad experience in Agadir too althought I love that place as well. But you have to adjust when you go there just like people have to adjust when they come here. It's not easy either way.

You must be a very brave lady! I won't be able to live in a country like that, I would feel like I'm in danger all the time.

 

[ddobro2]

Oh, that's the District of Columbia flag. I used to live there Wow, also from Eastern Europe, huh? What a coincidence! ;D

Looking at your pic I thought you were maybe Polish Yes, Quebec is different even for me and I'm from Ontario, starting from roads and ending with food and culture. I agree with you that immigration is not easy because you basically start from zero everything again, adapting to different cultrue, lifestyle and people, establishing yourself in a new society. Btw, I'm also from post-Soviet country and speak Russian Yay!

 

[ddobro2]

What a low life scumbag. 30 minutes of stalking just because he can't find a civilized way to find potential mates. That one makes Moroccans look bad. Never set foot in Morocco, but I will some day, so I thank you for the tips. My 7abiba really wants to go back for a visit. It's amazing how they leave you alone when you start speaking Arabic. I took some classes back in the day but the Arabic I learned was fus7ah and I haven't quite figured out the Moroccan dialect. What do you think it is about that that makes them stop pestering you? The fact that you'd be able to tell someone what happened because you speak the language so they don't want to get caught, or do they "stop from punishing the Western lady" because she made the effort to speak the language, might even have some contacts in the society? I knew a girl who went to Egypt (she's not Arab but looks it because she's got some black lineage) and she said the dudes there were basically convinced she was a prostitute because she was walking down the street wearing short sleeves instead of long. *smh*

That was one of many but I remember it clearly because the walk from my office to the square was about 30 minutes and he followed me the whole way. It kinda freaked me out a little because I liked walking home alone to destress after a busy day. Not sure if you've been to Marrakech but I always found Gueliz pretty safe to walk around by myself. There were a few times it happened there but generally, once they knew I could speak some Arabic they would go away. That situation was unique for Gueliz. The medina is a whole other story. As a woman, you just should not walk by yourself. End of story. Always in pairs there. Or know exactly where you are going and walk fast and do not respond to any of the catcalls. But you can't stroll by yourself there. Although I love Marrakech and consider it "my city", I always felt more at ease in Essouaira where they were definitely less aggressive. I had a bad experience in Agadir too althought I love that place as well. But you have to adjust when you go there just like people have to adjust when they come here. It's not easy either way.

I've heard some stuff about Egypt too but haven't been there. Similar stories with the following but some of the results sound worse than Morocco. Again, just stories so I don't know.

 

[Quince777]

What a low life scumbag. 30 minutes of stalking just because he can't find a civilized way to find potential mates. That one makes Moroccans look bad. Never set foot in Morocco, but I will some day, so I thank you for the tips. My 7abiba really wants to go back for a visit. It's amazing how they leave you alone when you start speaking Arabic. I took some classes back in the day but the Arabic I learned was fus7ah and I haven't quite figured out the Moroccan dialect. What do you think it is about that that makes them stop pestering you? The fact that you'd be able to tell someone what happened because you speak the language so they don't want to get caught, or do they "stop from punishing the Western lady" because she made the effort to speak the language, might even have some contacts in the society? I knew a girl who went to Egypt (she's not Arab but looks it because she's got some black lineage) and she said the dudes there were basically convinced she was a prostitute because she was walking down the street wearing short sleeves instead of long. *smh*

It's interesting how all Arabic countries are different. When I was in Lebanon nothing of that happened because it's a free country and people are open-minded. Women dress whatever way they want and you feel like you're in Europe somewhere.

 

[rjessome]

What a low life scumbag. 30 minutes of stalking just because he can't find a civilized way to find potential mates. That one makes Moroccans look bad. Never set foot in Morocco, but I will some day, so I thank you for the tips. My 7abiba really wants to go back for a visit. It's amazing how they leave you alone when you start speaking Arabic. I took some classes back in the day but the Arabic I learned was fus7ah and I haven't quite figured out the Moroccan dialect. What do you think it is about that that makes them stop pestering you? The fact that you'd be able to tell someone what happened because you speak the language so they don't want to get caught, or do they "stop from punishing the Western lady" because she made the effort to speak the language, might even have some contacts in the society? I knew a girl who went to Egypt (she's not Arab but looks it because she's got some black lineage) and she said the dudes there were basically convinced she was a prostitute because she was walking down the street wearing short sleeves instead of long. *smh*

Mostly they would leave me alone after awhile because they could see I had been "trained" about how to deal with them. Keep walking, don't speak and no eye contact. They'll get bored after awhile. Plus I know some "choice" words in Arabic which helped from time to time but those are a last resort. And you learn NOT to walk around by yourself if you can help it. That's suffocating but better than dealing with the creeps. So if you think about adjusting to different cultures, I would lose my mind if I had to deal with that everyday of my life. BUT, if I was going to live there, I would have to accept it and find a way to adapt. It's the same when people come to Canada. We have "strange" ways too I'm sure but you know the saying..."when in Rome..."

 

[ddobro2]

Thanks, very interesting. I talked to my husband and even though he hasn't been to Marrakesh since the 90's (he goes back to Oued-zem), he gets news from reading local news online and talking to people there. Not sure when you were there but apparently there are now "tourist police" ("la brigade de tourisme") all over Marrakech and they police night and day. They don't want these creeps hurting the tourist industry so my husband said if that guy were to try that today, he'd just get arrested. Also, he said that Medina right now has "completely changed." Even he as a university student, a guy, and a Moroccan would never go to Medina (le "vieux quartier" of the city). Now, he says not only is it safe but it's full of tourists who have moved in. The locals now feel they're not even "home" anymore. He read in Casablanca, Moroccan women are complaining about street harassment and pushing for stricter laws, so maybe there's a worse problem there. Anyway, just some tidbits of info to share with y'all on the forum, in case it helps.

Mostly they would leave me alone after awhile because they could see I had been "trained" about how to deal with them. Keep walking, don't speak and no eye contact. They'll get bored after awhile. Plus I know some "choice" words in Arabic which helped from time to time but those are a last resort. And you learn NOT to walk around by yourself if you can help it. That's suffocating but better than dealing with the creeps. So if you think about adjusting to different cultures, I would lose my mind if I had to deal with that everyday of my life. BUT, if I was going to live there, I would have to accept it and find a way to adapt. It's the same when people come to Canada. We have "strange" ways too I'm sure but you know the saying..."when in Rome..."

 

[vjamal]

1st...bubblyboy...i guess you are referring to my comment but if you read carefully i said that for goodgirl that got a husband in false pretences and wasnt good to her,which is on a deportation list thats why i said theres many fishes but you caught a shark..moroccan or russian or canadian ...its an expression ....My husband is moroccan you think i would ever call him a shark....read carefully before commenting please.....anyone that goes through this immigration process that will abusive a sponsor verbally or mentally or financially, yes is a shark sorry to say any nationality......
2nd i am also from ukraine but speak russian......

 

[ddobro2]

Wow, look at that. There are a lot of us eastern Europeans with Moroccan fellas, huh?

1st...bubblyboy...i guess you are referring to my comment but if you read carefully i said that for goodgirl that got a husband in false pretences and wasnt good to her,which is on a deportation list thats why i said theres many fishes but you caught a shark..moroccan or russian or canadian ...its an expression ....My husband is moroccan you think i would ever call him a shark....read carefully before commenting please.....anyone that goes through this immigration process that will abusive a sponsor verbally or mentally or financially, yes is a shark sorry to say any nationality......
2nd i am also from ukraine but speak russian......

 

[Habibti]

My Moroccan husband told me that the most beautiful women (according to him) are Russian

 

[BettyPage]

I am was born in Europe and immigrated as a child to Canada as well. I call it mid-eastern Europe. I'm from the Adriatic coast, not quite as eastern as you ladies.

I love Morocco, I just don't love the man I married from there anymore.