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Sponsor wants to get a divorce

alok4best

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TANMEX said:
100% used you get his PR , sorry to be so bold about it , Contact CIC and inform them that the relationship has breakdown and now you realize that this person only used you to gain status in Canada .

get rid of him .
I sincerely hope that you simply misread the post before commenting this.
The sponsor cheated on him. He DID NOT. So not sure how you can be 100% sure that he used her to get PR.
 

Regina

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As you committed the adultery, he could file against you right away.
He cannot. 1. he will lose his conditional PR, and this what he does not want. 2. HE abuses the kid and the wife.

Her cheating on him does not give him any rights to abuse his wife and a kid. If he is not happy - he should divorce her but not to abuse her. But.. see #1. :)

For her to initialize a divorce process is nothing to do with her cheating. The marriage did not work out. That was the reason she cheated. Now she wants to divorce him. That is it!
 

canadianwoman

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In any case, you do not have to live with him for two years! If the marriage is over, then technically even if you continue living together, this will not fulfill Condition 51 (though don't expect the government to believe the marriage broke down but you continued living together).

If it is your house, I would have him leave. It will be much easier to prove you have been living separate and apart for one year if you two are not living in the same house. (You need to show this to get the divorce.)
 

Ponga

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Regina said:
He cannot. 1. he will lose his conditional PR, and this what he doee not want. 2. HE abuses the kid and the wife.

Her cheating on him does not give him any rights to abuse his wife. If he is not happy - he should divorce her but not to abuse her. But.. see #1. :)

For her to initialize a divorce process is nothing to do with her cheating. The marriage did not work out. That was the reason she cheated. Now she wants to divorce him. That is it!
Huh?! How has he abused anyone? If lecturing someone and not paying rent is abuse...then you are correct, but it's NOT, so you're NOT.
 

Regina

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If lecturing someone and not paying rent is abuse...then you are correct, but it's NOT, so you're NOT.
It is an abuse. Emotional and financial.

Do you think there is only ONE kind of abuse- physical? :eek: you are so very much wrong!
http://nnedv.org/resources/ejresources/about-financial-abuse.html
http://www.healthyplace.com/abuse/emotional-psychological-abuse/emotional-abuse-definitions-signs-symptoms-examples/
http://www.professorshouse.com/relationships/marriage-advice/articles/spousal-abuse-in-marriage/
 

Kayaker

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Well, in addition to emotional and financial abuse, the OP has said he "takes it out" on her child.

Anyway, I think we can all agree, whatever his reasons were for marrying her and coming to Canada, the relationship sounds like it is over. If it's over, it needs to be reported to CIC, and OP needs to protect herself and her child. It doesn't matter if it's over because the OP cheated on him or not. That in no way obliges her to continue living with him.
 

Regina

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Kayaker said:
Well, in addition to emotional and financial abuse, the OP has said he "takes it out" on her child.

Anyway, I think we can all agree, whatever his reasons were for marrying her and coming to Canada, the relationship sounds like it is over. If it's over, it needs to be reported to CIC, and OP needs to protect herself and her child. It doesn't matter if it's over because the OP cheated on him or not. That in no way obliges her to continue living with him.
Totally agree!
 

Ponga

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Kayaker said:
Well, in addition to emotional and financial abuse, the OP has said he "takes it out" on her child.

Anyway, I think we can all agree, whatever his reasons were for marrying her and coming to Canada, the relationship sounds like it is over. If it's over, it needs to be reported to CIC, and OP needs to protect herself and her child. It doesn't matter if it's over because the OP cheated on him or not. That in no way obliges her to continue living with him.
Here's what the OP posted:
"...One reason I want to move out so badly is because sometimes he takes it out on the kid and as a mother it just breaks my heart. And he always insists we need to cohabit for 2 years. ..."

Until the OP defines what he's doing, I'll refrain from calling that abuse. And...doesn't he have the right to want to meet the conditions of his PR? It sounds like he knows that once they separate (and eventually divorce), his PR may be in jeopardy. The sponsor threw the rock into the water...why should he get out, just because the `ripple' has rocked his side of boat?
 

Regina

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Until the OP defines what he's doing
Nobody, actually, asks us what we consider and not as an abuse of her child. And even less OP HAS to confess to you
If she feels uncomfortable he MUST stop. If he cannot stop and does not like to live with this woman and is not happy with this child- he could leave them, separate, divorce and go home. :)

doesn't he have the right to want to meet the conditions of his PR.
No, he does not have such A RIGHT. Otherwise why it is a CONDITIONAL PR? :) besides, if he want something from his wife HE MUST behave differently. :D But he only trying to mislead her with his BS that she must live with him in any kind of his abuse because he will lose his PR if she leaves him?
 

Ponga

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Regina said:
Nobody, actually, asks us what we consider and not as an abuse of her child. And even less OP HAS to confess to you
If she feels uncomfortable he MUST stop. If he cannot stop and does not like to live with this woman and is not happy with this child- he could leave them, separate, divorce and go home. :) .
Practice what you preach.

How can you assume that he is being abusive, based on what the OP has disclosed?

FYI, I never said that he may not have been abusive, only that what's been shared by the OP doesn't define it as abuse.



If he truly is abusive, something which only the OP knows the answer to, then by all means she should do whatever it takes to protect herself and her child. No question!

If he is NOT being abusive, and she just doesn't like how he's dealing with the infidelity...perhaps that is her marital punishment.
 

Regina

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It does not matter: abuse or not abuse.

She may divorce him "just cause". But she actually has the cause: nobody is happy in this marriage. It's time to finish it and move on with everybody's life.

perhaps that is her marital punishment.
He does not have rights to punish her directly or thru abusing her child. He is not the God nor even her parent. (What's wrong with YOU, lady? Where did you get such an acceptance of spouse's "rights" over another spouse's rights?)
 

Kayaker

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He certainly knows that his PR will be in jeopardy if they separate. He may have come to Canada with good intentions and he may be acting out because he is bitter and hurt that his wife cheated on him.

Personally I find it hard to argue that a relationship isn't over until both parties agree... because while it is morally wrong for someone to cheat on their spouse then kick them out, it is also morally wrong for the injured party to force someone to maintain conjugal relations unwillingly. Yes, I know people want closure, and they want to be compensated, emotionally or financially or whatever, for their pain, etc. Emotionally I get that, but legally it doesn't work that way. You need consent to maintain a relationship. And the law does not say that someone who cheated on their spouse cannot ask for divorce.

I imagine the OP's husband feels that he deserves to live without paying rent, and to keep his PR status, as "compensation" for her infidelity. And I think there are probably actual cases where couples split up, (because of cheating or for other reasons, doesn't matter) and they decide not to inform CIC so that the other person can keep PR. That's an amicable breakup, and while not strictly legal, if the two parties agree, CIC won't find out, because they don't go around checking on people (with the exception of a few rare cases) - nor should they, they have better things to do with their time...
 

Ponga

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Kayaker said:
He certainly knows that his PR will be in jeopardy if they separate. He may have come to Canada with good intentions and he may be acting out because he is bitter and hurt that his wife cheated on him.

Personally I find it hard to argue that a relationship isn't over until both parties agree... because while it is morally wrong for someone to cheat on their spouse then kick them out, it is also morally wrong for the injured party to force someone to maintain conjugal relations unwillingly. Yes, I know people want closure, and they want to be compensated, emotionally or financially or whatever, for their pain, etc. Emotionally I get that, but legally it doesn't work that way. You need consent to maintain a relationship. And the law does not say that someone who cheated on their spouse cannot ask for divorce.

I imagine the OP's husband feels that he deserves to live without paying rent, and to keep his PR status, as "compensation" for her infidelity. And I think there are probably actual cases where couples split up, (because of cheating or for other reasons, doesn't matter) and they decide not to inform CIC so that the other person can keep PR. That's an amicable breakup, and while not strictly legal, if the two parties agree, CIC won't find out, because they don't go around checking on people (with the exception of a few rare cases) - nor should they, they have better things to do with their time...
Well said.

+1
 

WaitingSince2012

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alok4best said:
I sincerely hope that you simply misread the post before commenting this.
The sponsor cheated on him. He DID NOT. So not sure how you can be 100% sure that he used her to get PR.
My thoughts exactly. If you have ever been cheated on then you will know what he is going through emotionally. It is harder for men to accept cheating than women. He may have had good intentions when he got married to the OP. Either way I feel bad for him.