ON THE LIGHTER SIDE: Paranoia during the "wait"

[gsize]

"""And hell, even *I* am getting tired of hearing me whine. """""


tell me about it !!!!!! 8)

 

[canard]

Hi QuebecOkie! Sorry but I couldn't NOT say anything when I read your "outburst". We share similar feelings and I'm right back at you. I'm applying outland and my husband (the sponsor) lives in Montreal, but I lived there before for about one year and now when the PR arrives and I come back permanently I'll leave everything behind... my family, my friends, my dogs, a career, my culture, my food... so I'm a bit scared. I do know how an alien environment can drain our energies and hopes, and then comes the good and the bad days. But I can tell you this, the moment you become a PR and you're allowed to be "normal" things will change for sure. The human capacity of adaptation is amazing. I know it may sound cheesy, but there's a quote from the book "Eat, Pray and Love" that says: "In the end, I've come to believe in something I call 'The Physics of the Quest'. A force in nature governed by laws as real as the laws of gravity. The rule of Quest Physics goes something like this: if you're brave enough to leave behind everything familiar and comforting, which can be anything from your house to bitter old resentments, and set out on a truth-seeking journey, either externally or internally, and if you are truly willing to regard everything that happens to you on that journey as a clue and if you accept everyone you meet along the way as a teacher and if you are prepared, most of all, to face and forgive some very difficult realities about yourself, then the truth will not be withheld from you."

So this is to all my fellows... hang in there!!! This is all part of the journey, and for sure the results are worth it.

 

[anticipation]

Now, I have him. And as much as I love him, he's ALL I have. I feel I'm becoming a shadow, that I'm not a real person any more.

I moved to an English speaking place, and landed in the middle of a welcoming church community.
Love my husband to pieces, but also feel very empty and sad on occasion.
Now, don't shoot me for saying this, but I volunteered for pretty much anything that came my way and met lots of good people.
People give volunteers an awful lot of slack for not knowing the language or knowing what they are doing.
Besides usually the nicest people are volunteers, there are of course a few control freaks...
Are you in a smaller community without too many new arrivals? That makes it tougher of course.
Sometimes I wonder how hard it must have been for the WWII war brides who came here from Italy, France, Germany, etc.
I bet there are some novels about their experience in the library. That might help.

When I start on any new big adventure, I just remind myself that there is going to be that one BIG, DARK moment when I wonder what the heck I was thinking
when I started this crazy thing. Well, so far I've had at lease 11.... and I'm still here.

 

[zenn]

lol.....original application was denied (not genuine) waititng time in Toronto was 28 months, Appeal was allowed !!!!Hip Hip Horray !!!!! File sent back to Mexico even though it is supposed to be prcoessed in Ottawa. ( It is supposed to be fast tracked for successful appeal.)

Clock was re set Feb of this year.......MP tells me....count on UP to another 12 months (as per Ottawa time line) that will make it 5 years !

Thankfully, most cases are processed a whole lot faster. Many people are very naive about this process (I was too) !!!!



to keep loved ones apart for such a long time is crue !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1l.

I remain hopeful (but to tell you the truth, Im a wreck half the time) My sense of humour and good friends have helped me get through this nightmare.

Also, this site has been helpful. Thanks to all who have shared their compassion. It is helpful on those dark days !!!!!! ??? ???

I agree!! Cruel is an UNDERSTATEMENT!! Holy F*** 5 years is a hell of a long time!! Hats off to you!!!!

 

[zenn]

I had just turned 18 when I left home and went overseas- to Australia- to study... The ONLY thing I had going for me was that I spoke fluent English (albeit with an Indian accent). It was perhaps one of the most daunting periods of my life... I was the only international student in my degree (not many international students come to do forensic science) and I was different from my classmates and campus mates in EVERY WAY POSSIBLE.... But I can say this with confidence today.. things DO get better!! No matter how different you feel from them today, no matter what the barrier you WILL over come it... It's in ones nature to do so.... And yes, once your PR comes through your life will indeed become more normal...

Don't worry there is ALWAYS a light at the end of the tunnel.... Whether you can see it at the time or not is irrelevant... it is invariably there...

 

[gsize]

I had just turned 18 when I left home and went overseas- to Australia- to study... The ONLY thing I had going for me was that I spoke fluent English (albeit with an Indian accent). It was perhaps one of the most daunting periods of my life... I was the only international student in my degree (not many international students come to do forensic science) and I was different from my classmates and campus mates in EVERY WAY POSSIBLE.... But I can say this with confidence today.. things DO get better!! No matter how different you feel from them today, no matter what the barrier you WILL over come it... It's in ones nature to do so.... And yes, once your PR comes through your life will indeed become more normal...

Don't worry there is ALWAYS a light at the end of the tunnel.... Whether you can see it at the time or not is irrelevant... it is invariably there...

Yes, I try to remain hopeful. ??? thanks, and best of luck to you

 

[QuebecOkie]

I just want to thank you all for the kind words and empathy. I feel bad for feeling bad, if that makes sense. I know so many in the world are worse off. I have an amazing partner, plenty to eat, a nice home, a (so far) dependable vehicle, etc. I feel like such a brat for being so down for the past few months. But I can't help how I feel, or that I miss the life I knew. Or that I'm terrified sometimes that I'll never make a good life for myself here. I sort of feel like I have to choose between my best friend/lover...and my sanity. So far, I choose him.

It's been a long winter. (They didn't really have these winter thingies in Oklahoma...not like THIS!) I think when March and April get around to melting this snow and getting things growing again, I'll feel better.

The volunteering is a good idea! Something I've thought about, but haven't really looked into at all. Not at all sure what kind of opportunities there might be up here, but my husband could help me look into that. My french is REALLY limited (aural comprehension is the worst area for me...I read best, then write, then speak, then I understand spoken french little to none still, just words here and there), but if I could get set up doing something routine somewhere...who knows, maybe there's something like that. I kinda hate most kids, but maybe there's an animal shelter or something that could use the help. I used to volunteer at the animal shelter some back in the states.

I'm done whining for now. I have a dear husband, who isn't always the most helpful person, but who knows I'm having a rough go of it and wants to snuggle through some tv shows tonight, instead of playing his video games, and I have a nice dinner to cook for us, and I have my tutoring appointment in the morning. Appreciate the sympathetic ears, and now I'm going to try to quit my sniveling and make my man some dinner.

 

[Steph C]

Don't worry QuebecOkie. Your English skills will be in high demand when cruise ship season comes. When the big ships dock in La Baie du Ha Ha this summer there will be a real need for an English liason to all those American passengers.. truly! I've seen it ;D Maybe you can start sourcing possible employment with that in mind.

 

[maplegal86]

And hell, even *I* am getting tired of hearing me whine.

I know the feeling QuebecOkie. I truly understood the meaning of crawling out of my skin when I felt like clawing myself out of this situation. But I read an article recently about setbacks and difficult times. And the advice was this: don't resist what is happening to you, accept it, acknowledge it and relax into the situation. It's far better than trying to resist it or change it.

So this is to all my fellows... hang in there!!! This is all part of the journey, and for sure the results are worth it.

So true. I loved Eat Pray Love. We'll all get through this. And come out stronger. I feel like this is an experience that can really make an impact on our lives, it's up to us to make it a positive impact.

*hugs all around*

 

[spaceraceone]

I'm pretty sure one way or the other we all became paranoid about this sponsorship process. For people who have already got their PRs, you're probably just laughing about it now.

For a lighter conversation, do you mind sharing your funny experiences from gathering documents, to sending the package, to waiting, to another waiting, and more waiting.....

Here's ours:
When I sent my UCI number to my husband, he called me and in a serious tone, he was like, "Im scared we have a bad UCI number, it has three 6s on it". I looked at the number and saw there was indeed three number 6s on it, but it looks like this :6XX6XXX6. It wasn't even three consecutive sixes. I started literally laughing about it, I didn't expect him to be that paranoid. I thought I was worse.

Back then when I was still applying for my first work permit to Canada, I signed my job contract on June 6th, 2006 - and on paper it looked like - 6/6/6. And I got every other complication possible - my market opinion was rendered positive but the actual document took forever to get back to my employer, my passport was flying back and forth across USA several times with the visa stamped already - I ended up flying myself from oklahoma to washington and walking to the consulate to pick up my passport, I barely made it on time at Vancouver to board for my second flight because the work permit took longer to get issued... But in the end it worked out just fine. HOWEVER, the first thing my employer (who later became one of my friends) said to me when I was picked up at the airport "Finally! I wish you'd sign that thing a day later!"

 

[QuebecOkie]

Don't worry QuebecOkie. Your English skills will be in high demand when cruise ship season comes. When the big ships dock in La Baie du Ha Ha this summer there will be a real need for an English liason to all those American passengers.. truly! I've seen it ;D Maybe you can start sourcing possible employment with that in mind.

Thanks for the tip! I'll look into it.

 

[Happywife08]

OMG!! really nobody understands what it is unless they have gone trough it or they are in the process!!!it does make you paranoic!!!

I do have to say the worst part was putting the package together, I am such a perfectionist (sometimes is bad LOL) that everything had to be perfect. I just send mine on Friday and I just tracked it and is supposed to arrived today. so I have not even started but I do feel a little better (for now) since from now on it does't depend on me!!! No entirely anyway, just have to wait....

I have to say the "funniest" (I say funniest because what else are you gonna do, just laugh )
I mail my application early Friday, been working in it like crazy, our marriage certificate was not ready yet, even though I kept going to he website. and it said it was not registered yet. so I send a letter explaining the lack of marriage certificate and I sent our marriage solemnization record and that I will send them my marriage certificate when I got it. Well guess what I checked my mail friday afternoon and there it was my marriage certificate. they delivered on FRIDAY OF COURSE AFTER I SENT my application. LOL

 

[gsize]

although you cant change the winds, you CAN adjust your sails

The most important thing------NEVER GIVE UP !!!!!!!!!!

:-* :-*

 

[Kuudir2]

I love this thread!! LOL you guys make me laugh!!

I love knowing that there are others out there who are going through the same thing as me!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

[Iay]

OMG!! really nobody understands what it is unless they have gone trough it or they are in the process!!!it does make you paranoic!!!

I do have to say the worst part was putting the package together, I am such a perfectionist (sometimes is bad LOL) that everything had to be perfect. I just send mine on Friday and I just tracked it and is supposed to arrived today. so I have not even started but I do feel a little better (for now) since from now on it does't depend on me!!! No entirely anyway, just have to wait....

I have to say the "funniest" (I say funniest because what else are you gonna do, just laugh )
I mail my application early Friday, been working in it like crazy, our marriage certificate was not ready yet, even though I kept going to he website. and it said it was not registered yet. so I send a letter explaining the lack of marriage certificate and I sent our marriage solemnization record and that I will send them my marriage certificate when I got it. Well guess what I checked my mail friday afternoon and there it was my marriage certificate. they delivered on FRIDAY OF COURSE AFTER I SENT my application. LOL

Awww that's kind of my plan before too. We got married in October 2012 and everything's pretty much ready in November except for the Marriage Certificate. We almost got tempted to send the app without it but we tried to extend our patience. It turned out that the Marriage Certificate did not arrive til last week of January, and my husband still needs to mail everything to me, so here we are, February batch it is!!