My issue is that I'm in Saguenay, Quebec. I moved here in July with zero french. I'm taking advantage of all the learning opportunities available to me right now, and I'm studying alone, as well, using movies and children's books in french, as well as two online programs, but it's a very slow process for me. I didn't even apply for OWP - even if I were to get a work permit, I won't be able to work here for at least a year or two, if then. Maybe as a dishwasher or something, where I don't have much contact with the public. There really are so few english speaking job opportunties up here as to effectively be zero opportunities, and I don't understand much at all when people speak to me in French.
As for leaving, I'm a U.S. citizen. I can always leave and go back to the U.S. But with the money and time already into an inland application, I'm too scared to leave, as I couldn't bear it if I was denied entry back into Canada and had to start over again. Plus, we're living (of course) on just my husband's income. My family is about 3000 km away, so driving isn't practical, and flights *start* at $1000 round trip from here. And then I'd need money to live on while I'm down there.
*sigh* The big problem for me is there isn't much of a light at the end of the tunnel. I feel selfish saying it, with people like gsize who have been through hell and back, but even once I get PR, I'm still stuck HERE. Yes, I'm with my love. He's my best friend. But he, alone, is not enough to fill up my life. No one person is. I feel isolated, bored, and useless, and it's making me b*tchy. I know I'm no fun to live with, and I feel bad for my husband. I have so many good friends, friends who are like family (not to mention my parents, sister, and only nephew) back in the U.S. Here...I have my husband, and a few friends who are more like acquaintances. I don't fit in here. And even after getting PR, I probably won't find work for some time, if at all, and money will still be tight, and it will still be difficult to visit my family at all due to costs. I feel like there's nothing to look forward to, except MAYBE us getting posted somewhere else, where we can make a better life, in the next 4 to 8 years (with the husband's excellent french profile and the budget cuts, there's no guarantee we'll leave any time in the foreseeable future).
Once I get PR, I can get into the full-time french course, at least, so I'll have SOMETHING to do with myself. Staring at the walls of this house and only having my husband to interact with, when I'm used to a rich social life, has left me pretty depressed. As much of a $hit as it makes me sound like, it was probably better while he was gone for 4.5 of our first 5 months here (he was on course in Ontario, about a 7 hour drive away - I visited a few times). While he was away, I still had the light at the end of the tunnel of him coming home, of being together again. Now, I have him. And as much as I love him, he's ALL I have. I feel I'm becoming a shadow, that I'm not a real person any more.
And hell, even *I* am getting tired of hearing me whine.
