On a casual note... LESSONS OF LIFE -Enjoy it's every Moment !!!

[Canadian4U]

THE GAME IS OVER​

A young boy enters a barber shop and the barber whispers to his Customer :


"This is the dumbest kid in the world. Watch while I prove it to you."

The barber puts a five rupee coin in one hand and two one rupee coins(1+1=2) in the other, then calls the boy over and asks :

" Which do you want, son ? "

The boy takes the two one rupee coins and leaves.

" What did I tell you?" said the barber. "That kid never learns ! "

Later, when the customer leaves, he sees the same young boy coming out of the ice cream store.

"Hey, son! May I ask you a question ?

Why did you take two one rupee coins instead of five rupee coin?"


The boy licked his cone and replied :








" Because THE DAY I TAKE THE FIVE RUPEE COIN ,







THE GAME IS OVER.........









Moral: When you think the other person is dumb, you are making a fool of yourself.

 

[sandyboy1210]

good one

 

[MSMirza]

Bravo !

 

[Canadian4U]

I WANT TO BE A “TV” – A TOUCHING ESSAY OF A CHILD !!​

A teacher from Primary School asked her students to write a essay about what they would like God to do for them…

At the end of the day, while marking the essays, she read one that made her very emotional.

Her husband, who had just walked in, saw her crying and asked her :- ‘What happened?’

She answered- ‘Read this. It’s one of my students essays.’
‘Oh God, tonight I ask you something very special: Make me into a television. I want to take its place. Live like the TV in my house.

Have my own special place, And have my family around ME. To be taken seriously when I talk….

I want to be the centre of attention and be heard without interruptions or questions.

I want to receive the same special care that the TV receives when it is not working. Have the company of my dad when he arrives home from work, even when he is tired.

And I want my mom to want me when she is sad and upset, instead of ignoring me…

And… I want my brothers to fight to be with me… I want to feel that family just leaves everything aside, every now and then, just to spend some time with me.

And last but not the least, make it that I can make them all happy and entertain them…

Lord I don’t ask you for much… I just want to live like every TV.’

At that moment the husband said:- ‘My God, poor kid. What horrible parents!’

The wife looked up at him and said:-‘That essay is our son’s!!!

 

[sanjeevindia]

I WANT TO BE A “TV” – A TOUCHING ESSAY OF A CHILD !!​

A teacher from Primary School asked her students to write a essay about what they would like God to do for them...

At the end of the day, while marking the essays, she read one that made her very emotional.

Her husband, who had just walked in, saw her crying and asked her :- ‘What happened?'

She answered- ‘Read this. It's one of my students essays.'
‘Oh God, tonight I ask you something very special: Make me into a television. I want to take its place. Live like the TV in my house.

Have my own special place, And have my family around ME. To be taken seriously when I talk....

I want to be the centre of attention and be heard without interruptions or questions.

I want to receive the same special care that the TV receives when it is not working. Have the company of my dad when he arrives home from work, even when he is tired.

And I want my mom to want me when she is sad and upset, instead of ignoring me...

And... I want my brothers to fight to be with me... I want to feel that family just leaves everything aside, every now and then, just to spend some time with me.

And last but not the least, make it that I can make them all happy and entertain them...

Lord I don't ask you for much... I just want to live like every TV.'

At that moment the husband said:- ‘My God, poor kid. What horrible parents!'

The wife looked up at him and said:-‘That essay is our son's!!!

Very touchy and true in the modern world. Hats off to you and +1 from me.just for that.

 

[smiler 11]

I bet this actually makes afew parents think if there kids want to be a tv. :

 

[Canadian4U]

Very touchy and true in the modern world. Hats off to you and +1 from me.just for that.

Thanks Sanjeev

 

[Rajan01]

Life is an opportunity, benefit from it.
Life is beauty, admire it.
Life is bliss, taste it.
Life is a dream, realize it.
Life is a challenge, meet it.
Life is a duty, complete it.
Life is a game, play it.
Life is a promise, fulfill it.
Life is sorrow, overcome it.
Life is a song, sing it.
Life is a struggle, accept it.
Life is a tragedy, confront it.
Life is an adventure, dare it.
Life is luck, make it.
Life is too precious, do not destroy it.
Life is life, fight for it.

 

[lovepreet]

I WANT TO BE A “TV” – A TOUCHING ESSAY OF A CHILD !!​

A teacher from Primary School asked her students to write a essay about what they would like God to do for them...

At the end of the day, while marking the essays, she read one that made her very emotional.

Her husband, who had just walked in, saw her crying and asked her :- ‘What happened?'

She answered- ‘Read this. It's one of my students essays.'
‘Oh God, tonight I ask you something very special: Make me into a television. I want to take its place. Live like the TV in my house.

Have my own special place, And have my family around ME. To be taken seriously when I talk....

I want to be the centre of attention and be heard without interruptions or questions.

I want to receive the same special care that the TV receives when it is not working. Have the company of my dad when he arrives home from work, even when he is tired.

And I want my mom to want me when she is sad and upset, instead of ignoring me...

And... I want my brothers to fight to be with me... I want to feel that family just leaves everything aside, every now and then, just to spend some time with me.

And last but not the least, make it that I can make them all happy and entertain them...

Lord I don't ask you for much... I just want to live like every TV.'

At that moment the husband said:- ‘My God, poor kid. What horrible parents!'

The wife looked up at him and said:-‘That essay is our son's!!!

Very touching- Thanks buddy

 

[zsashimi]

LOVE YOUR JOB BUT NEVER FALL IN LOVE WITH YOUR COMPANY

An interesting speech delivered by a CEO of a premier IT company in India during an employee session with another IT company in India. He is incidentally one of the top 50 influencial people in Asia according the latest Asiaweek publication. He is also the new IT advisor to the Thai Prime Minister.

Extract of Mr. Narayana Murthy's Speech during Mentor Session:

LOVE YOUR JOB, BUT NEVER FALL IN LOVE WITH YOUR COMPANY BCOZ U NEVER KNOW WHEN COMPANY STOPS LOVING YOU
- Narayana Murthy

I know people who work 12 hours a day, six days a week, or more. Some people do so because of a work emergency where the long hours are only temporary. Other people I know have put in these hours for years. I don't know if they are working all these hours, but I do know they are in the ! office this long. Others put in long office hours because they are
addicted to the workplace.

Whatever the reason for putting in overtime, working long hours over the long term is harmful to the person and to the
organization.

There are things manager can do to change this for everyone's benefit. Being in the office long hours, over long period of times, makes way for potential errors. My colleagues who are in the office long hours frequently make mistakes caused by fatigue. Correcting these mistakes requires their time as well as the time and energy of others. I have seen people work Tuesday through Friday to correct mistakes made after 5PM on Monday.

Another problem is that people who are in the office long hours are not pleasant company. They often complain about other people (who aren't working as hard); they are irritable, or cranky or even angry. Other people avoid them. Such behavior poses problems, where wo! rk goes much better when people work together instead of avoiding one another.

As Managers, there are things we can do to help people leave the office.

First and foremost is to set the example and go home ourselves. I work with a manager who chides people for working long hours. His words quickly lose their meaning when he sends these chiding group emails with a time-stamp of 2am. Sunday.

Second is to encourage people to put some balance in their lives. For instance, here is a guideline I find helpful:
1) Wake up, eat a good breakfast and go to work.
2) Work hard and smart for eight or nine hours.
3) Go home.
4) Read the books/comics, watch a funny movie, dig in
the dirt, play with your kids, etc.
5) Eat well and sleep well.
This called recreating. Doing Steps 1, 3, 4 and 5 enable 2.

Working regular hours and recreating daily are simple concepts. They are hard for some of us because that requires
'personal change'. They are possible since we all have the power to choose to do them. In considering the issue of overtime, I am reminded of my oldest son. When he was a toddler, if people were visiting the apartment, he would not fall asleep no matter how long the visit, and no matter what time of day it was.

He would fight off sleep until the visitors left, It was as if he was afraid that he would miss something. Once our visitor's left, he would go to sleep.

By this time, however, he was over tired and would scream half the night with nightmares. He, my wife and I, all paid
the price for his fear of missing out.

Perhaps, some people put in such long hours because they don't want to miss anything when they leave the office. The
trouble with this is that events will never stop happening. That is life.Things happen 24 hours a day.

Allowing for little rest is not ultimately practical. So, take a nap. Things will happen while you're asleep, but you will
have the energy to catch up with you awake.

Hence, "LOVE YOUR JOB BUT NEVER FALL IN LOVE WITH YOUR COMPANY".

 

[zsashimi]

[size=10pt]Kids Are Quick [/size]

____________________________________

TEACHER: Maria, go to the map and find North America .
MARIA: Here it is.
TEACHER: Correct. Now class, who discovered America ?
CLASS: Maria.
____________________________________

TEACHER: John, why are you doing your math multiplication on the floor?
JOHN: You told me to do it without using tables.
__________________________________________
TEACHER: Glenn, how do you spell 'crocodile?'
GLENN: K-R-O-K-O-D-I-A-L'
TEACHER: No, that's wrong
GLENN: Maybe it is wrong, but you asked me how I spell it.
____________________________________________
TEACHER: Donald, what is the chemical formula for water?
DONALD: H I J K L M N O.
TEACHER: What are you talking about?
DONALD: Yesterday you said it's H to O.
__________________________________
& nbsp;
TEACHER: Winnie, name one important thing we have today that we didn't have ten years ago.
WINNIE: Me!
__________________________________________

TEACHER: Glen, why do you always get so dirty?
GLEN: Well, I'm a lot closer to the ground than you are.
_______________________________________

TEACHER: Millie, give me a sentence starting with 'I.'
MILLIE: I is..
TEACHER: No, Millie..... Always say, 'I am.'
MILLIE: All right... 'I am the ninth letter of the alphabet.'
_________________________________
TEACHER: George Washington not only chopped down his father's cherry tree, but also admitted it. Now, Louie, do you know why his father didn't punish him?
LOUIS: Because George still had the axe in his hand.
______________________________________

TEACHER: Now, Simon, tell me frankly, do you say prayers before eating?
SIMON: No sir, I don't have to, my Mom is a good cook.
______________________________

TEACHER: Clyde , your composition on 'My Dog' is exactly the same as your brother's. Did you copy his?
CLYDE : No, sir. It's the same dog.
___________________________________
TEACHER: Harold, what do you call a person who keeps on talking when people are no longer interested?
HAROLD: A teacher
__________________________________

 

[Canadian4U]

What is the height of globalization?​

Question: What is the height of globalization?
Answer: Princess Diana's death

Question: How come?
Answer: An English princess with an Egyptian boyfriend crashes in a French tunnel, driving a German car with a Dutch engine, driven by a Belgian who was high on Scottish whiskey, followed closely by Italian Paparazzi, on Japanese motorcycles, treated by an American doctor, using Brazilian medicines! And this is sent to you by a Indian, using Bill Gates' technology which he stole from the Japanese. And you are probably reading this on one of the IBM clones that use Taiwanese-made chips, and Korean made monitors, assembled by Bangladeshi workers in a Singapore plant, transported by lorries driven by Indians, hijacked by Indonesians and finally sold to you by Chinamen! ......... .................


Globalization!!!

 

[Canadian4U]

New Rules For Employment​

SICKNESS AND RELATED LEAVE: We will no longer accept a doctor statement as proof of sickness. If you are able to go to the doctor, you are able to come to work.

SURGERY: Operations are now banned. As long as you are an employee here, you need all your organs. You should not consider removing anything. We hired you intact. To have something removed constitutes a breach of employment.

BEREAVEMENT LEAVE: This is no excuse for missing work. There is nothing you can do for dead friends, Relatives or coworkers. Every effort should be made to have non-employees attend to the arrangements. In rare cases, where employee involvement is necessary, the funeral should be scheduled in the late afternoon. We will be glad to allow you to work through your lunch hour and subsequently leave one hour early, provided your share of the work is done enough.

YOUR OWN DEATH: This will be accepted as an excuse. However, we require at least two weeks notice as it is your duty to train your own replacement.

RESTROOM USE: Entirely too much time is being spent in the restroom. In the future, we will follow the practice of going in alphabetical order. For instance, all employees whose names begin with ''''''''''''''''A'''''''''''''''' will go from 8:00 to 8:10, employees whose names begin with ''''''''''''''''B'''''''''''''''' will go from 8:10 to 8:20 and so on. If you''''''''''''''''re unable to go at your allotted time, it will be necessary to wait until the next day when your turn comes again. In extreme emergencies employees may swap their time with a coworker. Both employees'''''''''''''''' supervisors in writing must approve this exchange. In addition, there is now a strict 3-minute time limit in the stalls. At the end of three minutes, an alarm will sound, the toilet paper roll will retract, and the stall door will open.

PAYCHECK GUIDE: The following helpful guide has been prepared to help our employees better understand their paychecks:

Item Amount Gross pay $1,222.02 Income tax $244.40 Outgo tax $45.21 State tax $11.61 Interstate tax $61.10 County tax $6.11 City tax $12.22 Rural tax $4.44 Back tax $1.11 Front tax $1.16 Side tax $1.61 Up tax $1.08 Down tax $1.14 Tic-Tacs $1.98 Thumbtacks $3.93 Carpet tacks $0.98 Stadium tax $0.69 Flat tax $8.32 Surtax $2.23 Ma''''''''''''''''am tax $1.23 Corporate tax $2.60 Parking fee $5.00 F.I.C.A. $81.88 T.G.I.F. Fund $9.95 Life insurance $5.85 Health insurance $16.23 Dental insurance $4.50 Mental insurance $4.33 Disability $2.50 Ability $0.25 Liability $3.41 Coffee $6.85 Coffee Cups $66.51 Floor rental $16.85 Chair rental $0.32 Desk rental $4.32 Union dues $5.85 Union don''''''''''''''''ts $3.77 Cash advance $0.69 Cash retreats $121.35 Overtime $1.26 Undertime $54.83 Eastern time $9.00 Central time $8.00 Mountain time $7.00 Pacific time $6.00 Time Out $12.21 Oxygen $10.02 Water $16.54 Heat $51.42 Cool air $26.83 Hot air $20.00 Miscellaneous $113.29 Various $8.01 Sundry $12.09 ------- Net Take Home Pay $0.02

Thank you for your loyalty to our company. We are here to provide a positive employment experience. Therefore, all questions, comments, concerns, complaints, frustrations, irritations, aggravations, insinuations, allegations, accusations, contemplations, consternations, or input should be directed elsewhere.

Have a nice week.

The Management

 

[Rajan01]

Touching life story.....

A young man was getting ready to graduate college. For many months he had admired a beautiful sports car in a dealer's showroom, and knowing his father could well afford it, he told him that was all he wanted.

As Graduation Day approached, the young man awaited signs that his father had purchased the car. Finally, on the morning of his graduation his father called him into his private study. His father told him how proud he was to have such a fine
son, and told him how much he loved him. He handed his son a beautiful wrapped gift box.

Curious, but somewhat disappointed the young man opened the box and found a lovely, leather-bound Bible. Angrily,he raised his voice at his father and said, "With all your money you give me a Bible?" and stormed out of the house, leaving the holy book.

Many years passed and the young man was very successful in business. He had a beautiful home and wonderful family, but realized his father was very old, and thought perhaps he should go to him. He had not seen him since that graduation day. Before he could make arrangements, he received a telegram telling him his father had passed away, and willed all of his possessions to his son. He needed to come home immediately and take care things.

When he arrived at his father's house, sudden sadness and
regret filled his heart.

He began to search his father's important papers and saw the still new Bible, just as he had left it years ago. With tears, he opened the Bible and began to turn the pages. As he read those words, a car key dropped from an envelope
taped behind the Bible. It had a tag with the dealer's name, the same dealer who had the sports car he had desired. On the tag was the date of his graduation,
and the words...PAID IN FULL.

How many times do we miss God's blessings because they are not packaged as we expected?

 

[sunny1975]

Jack, a smart businessman, talks to his son.

Jack: “I want you to marry a girl of my choice”

Son: “I will choose my own bride!”

Jack: “But the girl is Bill Gates’s daughter.”

Son: “Well, in that case…”

Next Jack approaches Bill Gates.

Jack: “I have a husband for your daughter.”

Bill Gates: “But my daughter is too young to marry!”

Jack: “But this young man is a vice-president of the World Bank.”

Bill Gates: “Ah, in that case…”

Finally Jack goes to see the president of the World Bank.

Jack: “I have a young man to be recommended as a vice-president.”

President: “But I already have more vice- presidents than I need!”

Jack: “But this young man is Bill Gates’s son-in-law.”

President: “Ah, in that case…”

This is how business is done!!