M
mikeymyke
Guest
screech339 said:
I respect your opinion screech and allow me to explain.
Vietnam is a country that has large differences in income. You can have a street worker earning $200/month, a college grad earning $500/month, and a high school student working at a foreign hospital earning $800/month. Basically, there are people who make the average salary, along with lots of people who earn 2x, 5x, 10x, 20x a typical salary. This is unheard of in Canada, as not many people can earn 5x-10x a typical salary, maybe 2x or 50% more, but in a typical case not. My wife earns a great salary, but she's not considered "rich" by any means, nor is she like a "1% of the population" kind of person. There's lots of people who make her level of income, but there are also lots of people who make even more, and lots of people who earn less. Vietnam is ranked among the bottom 50 countries in the world for Human Development Index, and Quality of Life, so you see, anyone trying to live here for the first time compared to Canada, would be in for a total shock as to the conditions here compared to back home.
Her parents make a good living yes, but again, they're not considered "rich" or extraordinary by any means, they never buy anything luxurious, and her dad has never even left Vietnam before, even to travel.
My wife and I discussed many times where we will live. She never said she really wanted to come to Canada so bad, she just simply asked me where I wanted to be and she will follow. Of course I chose Canada for obvious reasons (born there, have a good career, a house), but I've been to Vietnam enough times, seen her family enough times, lived the Vietnamese lifestyle enough times that I feel that I can call this my 2nd home, and because of that My wife is fully aware that I don't speak the language very well, and my job prospects are limited to teaching English, but she says that she can take care of me, and her family wouldn't mind to let us live with them, but truth of the matter is, we both would rather move out and buy our own home because we want to start a family, and we have the ability to buy a home in VN when I sell my house in Canada. We had detailed plans of what both of us would do in Vietnam. What jobs we would do, where we would live, etc. In other words, we have a PLAN B in case she is refused PR, and based on what I've seen on this forum, a PLAN B is something not many people here have, because they think its a 100% sure thing they can bring their spouse over or both the spouse and applicant want to come Canada so much, they ignore everything else.
But guess what? Nothing in life is a guarantee, and marrying a Canadian surely isn't a guarantee to come here, even if you have minimal red flags. And because I know my wife is not guaranteed a PR to come here, its common sense to plan for the worst, and we've done that. People need to weigh their desire to live in Canada vs their desire to be with their spouse.
My wife's income and her ability to support me, as well as her family's situation, has very little to do with whether I'm so confident about not minding to live with her in Vietnam. I'm only thankful that I at least have a family that supports me emotionally, a culture that I'm familiar with (I'm half Chinese/Viet), and a wife who always wants to be by my side, those are the main reasons for me to be willing to live over there.
You might ask, well if your wife is poor and comes from a poor background, would you still marry her? If she's committed to me, and I'm committed to her, and we both support each other, of course. You can think of things like, for example, if she's poor because she lives in the countryside, maybe we can discuss about moving to the city. Or if you have limited employment prospects in the country, maybe consider learning the language, asking your spouse to teach you, and help you find some simple jobs. Both people would work together and have a collective income. Or you guys can discuss selling your Canadian assets and using them to buy a business, rental property or something. Or if she has a family and is living with them, you can live with them to save on costs and use the savings to support yourselves. Or better yet, if you really want to return to Canada, you can live with your spouse for a couple years and then resubmit your application, now you should have very little chance of being refused again.
Yes what I'm describing is really shi**y lifestyle, but guess what? Your spouse, along with the millions who live there, have lived that lifestyle their entire life.
There are so many options you can think of, and you have to admit, your spouse would be pretty devastated if you tell him/her that you're not willing to live with them if they be refused PR, and that Canada is the "only way." I think if you really really love Canada, and really don't want to leave, you need to re-evaluate your relationship and see if your love for your country is stronger than your love for your spouse. Because spouse sponsorship is not a guarantee, and we as sponsors, need to plan in the event that our spouses are refused.
Canada is a great country, but its not exactly perfect, and there are things in Vietnam I prefer way more than here. But my wife just simply asked me, where I want to go, and she would've been just as happy had I said Vietnam.