Geez...can't a guy get banned for 3 days without coming back to find 35 new pages of stuff to read in a thread that USED to have 7...? :
There's obviously a desperate need for a guy's perspective on things here, so prepare yourselves for a little unfiltered dose of what I like to call reality.
Ms. Malawi: There's no such thing as a "good" excuse for not communicating with your WIFE when you're living thousands of kilometers apart from each other, with one exception: laying unconscious in a hospital. Anything short of that, and you shouldn't put up with it. You're not his girlfriend. You're not his friend. You're not his colleague. You're his WIFE. Being separated by an ocean is already more than stressful enough, so why would he want to add to your stress by not talking with you? No, it's not your fault. Stop blaming yourself, because by doing so, you're only going to allow it to continue happening and further encourage it. Spell it out to him very clearly that HE might think it's "no big deal" if you don't talk every day, but for you, it IS a big deal, and you don't cope well with it, AND you're not going to tolerate it anymore. Then, after you've made yourself crystal clear to him, if he continues to do it, then I'm sorry to say that you're going to have a lot of problems before you're together, and after you're together.
Ms Malawi said:
Should have stated i do and have called. Some of the time i cant get through and sometime there is no answer. I have also messaged him with no reaponse. get the feeling he wants space but doesnt tell me, just takes it.
One of you is in Canada, and the other is in Africa. How much more SPACE does he want? And if he should ever have the nerve to tell you he wants/needs "space" ever again while you're apart, tell him the following: "Sweetie...go quickly and put on your astronaut suit, because I'm going to connect my foot with your ass with such fury that in about three seconds you'll be orbiting the planet, and then you'll have all the space you could handle."
There are 1440 minutes in a day. I don't care who you are or what your reasons are or where you're living - there's no valid excuse for why you can't talk to each other for 5 or 10 minutes every day just to make sure everything is okay and to maintain that much-needed sense of bonding, especially when you don't have it in person.
Jerry84: You, also, need to spell it out clearly to your husband that what he did was not only unacceptable, but completely asinine. It's never okay to take your personal problems and blab to YOUR friend or HIS friend or anyone else except the dog.
jerry84 said:
He doesn't come on skype cuz his excuse "I miss you more when I see you".
If he misses you more when he sees you, tell him you'll be more than happy to turn off your web cam.
Oh, and what about when you'll be living together and he'll get to see you every day for hours at a time? What then? He's not going to come home because he misses you more when he sees you? The next time he gives you that nonsense, the following reply will be most appropriate: "Darling...if you're going to speak, MAKE SENSE."
And then casually mention something about how if he misses you when you're in Skype, let's see how he'll do with missing you when you're not in Skype (or anywhere else) for the next two weeks.
jerry84 said:
No reply, he didn't even read my message so I am giving him the benefit of the doubt that he might be sleeping.
What should I do?
Do absolutely nothing. Wait for him to realize what a royal malformed intestinal gas he's being, and wait for him to call you.
The unfortunate truth is that sometimes a grown-ass man needs to be treated like a child: you need to take away what he loves the most before he can truly appreciate what it means to be without it.
