cleaning out my email and came across this... since no one has posted a funny in awhile, i'll pitch in
This is the cruff version of Romeo an' Juliet... JA style... old skool
(Romie looking exasperated threw one more pebble at the window. His frustration mounts and his patience is wearing thin)
Romie: Cha. Mi tell dis girl say me a come over after mi done play ball and she must leave di winda open and now she nuh deh yah. Mi is a
man can't tek badderation enuh. A what time now (peers at fake Rolex).
Rahtid, half past nine. (Whispers loudly) Jules! Jules! Wait deh, see 'er light come on deh. Jules!
Julie: ( come to window half asleep) Romie? Romie? Wherefore art yuh deh? Oh baby. Deny yuh Puppa and refuse yuh name. And if yuh no want do dat, swear say yuh love me 'cause I no longer wahn be a Johnson.
Romie: (aside) Bwoy, this gal yah can chat when yuh see man! My time fi talk now, give me a chance.
Julie: Is only yuh name me no like, Romie. What kind a last name you have, McIntyre? It sound like a burger in a car tire. Is not your hand, or yuh foot, or yuh arm or yuh face that bodder me (well, yuh face bodder mi sometime), but is yuh name. Yuh know say, the Johnson dem nuh like the McIntyre dem and if mi fadder ketch yuh over yah-- him limb up yuh warra-it. But what's in a name, my sweet Rom-Rom. Mi no care'bout yuh name. If yuh call a rose by any other name it will smell just as sweet. Nuh true.
Romie: Yuh a hear mi Jules, mi can't take this foolishness no more. Big man haffi a hide and come check yuh a night time like a some punk.
But mi a tell yuh the truth, anything mi can do fi wi stay together, mi will do. If mi haffi change mi name mi wi do that. (shouts) From now on mi no name McIntyre no more!
Julie: Shhhhh! Mi parents dem a sleep. No matter what yuh say yuh can't change the fact that yuh come from McIntyre breed. And yuh better tek time talk, yuh no 'fraid a mi bredda dem?
Romie: Jules, yuh more dangerous to me than all a fi dem cutlass and pick-ax. When a man check fi a woman yuh no know say it easy fi she hurt him.
Julie: Still, yuh better hope nobody no wake up. By the way, is how yuh get past the dog?
Romie: Who dah punk deh? Mi just gi him a piece a saltfish wha' mi buy dung a Buddy shop. All tomorrow him still a chaw dat.
Julie: Well, is why yuh decide fi come over 'ere tonight, knowing how mi people dem nuh like yuh.
Romie: (kneels on the ground) Well mi not even know how fi say this but "mi love mi car, mi love mi bike, mi love mi money and ting but
most of all me love mi Browning" (wipes away a tear) Is the fus ina mi life man have feelings fi cry. Yuh know yuh a mi Fresh Vegetable and mi no stop cry fi yuh.
Julie: (starts to cry too) Oh that's so sweet, but first of all, yuh no have no car and the only transportation yuh have is the piece a bruck up fix-wheel bicycle yuh grandfather gi yuh. But mi still love yuh anyway. But "baby are you up for this, to give me all that loving so that I can turn and twist.."
Romie: Is how yuh a diss me so?
Julie: (giggles) A joke mi a mek (she turns away startled) Romie! Somebody a come, yuh better gwan before dem ketch yuh over here. Call me a work tomorrow y'hear. Bye love. (she ducks inside).
Romie: (whistling softly as he walks by the dog gnawing on a tough piece of saltfish) " dem a go tired fi see mi face "