Just feel like venting

[sashali78]

This argument reminds me of the argument which allied forces suffered the most during WW2. There are just so many movies and singing about GI's , the hardship, the battles they passed on the way to victory. Its an endless praise for the achievements of American army, but lets face it , its the east European nations who suffered the most, with Russians at the center. What is 1M casualties relative to 20M? When not a single family left untouched.
Actually, when i see some of the American movies and they show a tear making story about a platoon of soldiers that have not been relieved from the front line for a whole 2 weeks it makes me laugh, the only relief for Russian soldier was to be killed.
So , same here, people born in US and having the freedom to travel to any country, be with their spouse and have to wait for their PR processed while living in a "small room" in their parents house while all their basic needs attended to, cannot understand people who cannot even enter the country from their "3rd world countries", don't have parents to take care of them, or means for a small room or any room at all. There is just a huge gap of expectations and lifetime experiences between these two categories, so they can never understand each other.
BTW, i don't belong to either of these extreme groups - so this is just a purely scientific post Smiley

PS. I am not trying to disqualify the feelings of one group in front of another. I am just saying that the actual experiences are incomparable, if you still don't agree, i suggest you do some reading about Maslow's hierarchy of needs - that should explain the issue clearly.

 

[shortyp2000]

Exactly what im saying.
People who havent experienced the same hardship than others couldnt possibly know what the experience feels like. So, maybe thats why im having a hard time understanding why someone would complain about being in Canada with their spouse, albeit bored, would be such an awful thing?
And maybe thats why the person trying to attack what im saying cant understand that having an infant that needs 24/7 care and his father not being able to see him when he was born and during surgeries because the fathers visa office is under staffed would be worse than hanging with ur spouse in Canada?
Obviously people have it worse than me, and people have it better too, just like the OP.

The person who was so ignorant against my post didnt understand my post and thought I was from a third world country, and used that incorrect information to slam me? Maybe you need to overlook your own need to flash your Canadian status.

At the end of the day, my point is this: venting about being bored with your spouse in Canada while thousands of other families are torn apart for months/years wont get much sympathy. Sorry you are bored, but I'd love to be bored everyday with my husband by my side.

 

[jamsham12]

This argument reminds me of the argument which allied forces suffered the most during WW2. There are just so many movies and singing about GI's , the hardship, the battles they passed on the way to victory. Its an endless praise for the achievements of American army, but lets face it , its the east European nations who suffered the most, with Russians at the center. What is 1M casualties relative to 20M? When not a single family left untouched.
Actually, when i see some of the American movies and they show a tear making story about a platoon of soldiers that have not been relieved from the front line for a whole 2 weeks it makes me laugh, the only relief for Russian soldier was to be killed.
So , same here, people born in US and having the freedom to travel to any country, be with their spouse and have to wait for their PR processed while living in a "small room" in their parents house while all their basic needs attended to, cannot understand people who cannot even enter the country from their "3rd world countries", don't have parents to take care of them, or means for a small room or any room at all. There is just a huge gap of expectations and lifetime experiences between these two categories, so they can never understand each other.
BTW, i don't belong to either of these extreme groups - so this is just a purely scientific post Smiley

PS. I am not trying to disqualify the feelings of one group in front of another. I am just saying that the actual experiences are incomparable, if you still don't agree, i suggest you do some reading about Maslow's hierarchy of needs - that should explain the issue clearly.

You do realize most Americans take for granted the smaller things in life and realize the world revolves around them so when things dont go their way such as having to wait 6-8 months in a small ass room with their partner and they are not able to work or do anything "productive" then they must have it so bad.

 

[Decoy24601]

Don't generalize all Americans. Yes, I am planning on visiting my spouse for my application, but that does not mean I won't be grateful. For anyone being apart from their spouse is very hard and u know that. I would much rather be bored for up to a year than be apart. Just because I'm American and visit my spouse more easily does not mean that I am blind to the pain others are going through. I know plenty of other people, who, yes, are American, who aren't ignorant to the real role that Americans played in WW2 and are nice caring people who aren't narcissistic. Just because you're in pain and upset from what people here have said does not give you the right to generalize a nationality. While there are aspects of my own culture that I do not like and plenty of people who set a terrible example for us, there are still plenty of us who are good people. Everyone goes through pain in their life, albeit some more than other, but that does not give a person a right to act superior to others because they are suffering more, with all due respect.

No one gets a trophy for having the worst situation.

 

[kangamoose]

I don't think anyone on here is looking for sympathy, empathy yes but not sympathy. There is clearly 2 distinct groups of people in regards to this process: visa exempt and visa requiring. Visa exempt people may have it easier in regards to being able to stay with the spouse throughout the process, there is no denying that but that doesn't mean we don't understand what its like to be separated we can all empathize. Being in a country without your family and support network is hard and this is something you/your spouse (whoever is immigrating) will experience when they get here. Its a culture shock and I say this as an Aussie whose been here for a few years, I can't imagine what other people are going through who grew up in countries vastly different from Canada or people who don't speak the language. Its quite a process to transition into living in a different country, maybe I have a head start but its not something that can be avoided.

The point I was trying to make in my previous posts was that we are all suffering albeit it different ways and we shouldn't be made to feel guilty because there are people worse off than we are. I'm not having a go at anybody, I just think that if there are 2 groups of people going through this why can't both groups have a bit of a whine about the process. We're all going through the same thing here we should be supporting each other through the process.

 

[jaytanz]

We're all going through the same thing here we should be supporting each other through the process.

+1 for positivity , I Concur ;D

 

[canameraduo]

That's a good attitude kangamoose

Anyone should be allowed the right to vent, i'm sure it's harder certain days for everyone, no matter their situation. This thread does not look like it was started to begin a debate of who has it worse, none here should be judging the other because none of us know exactly what the other is going through. Maybe one persons case is a bit simpler than yours, but maybe they struggle with depression and that makes it much harder. The only fact we all know is that everyone is going through a tough time, and sometimes venting can help, so lets not make people's difficult situations worse by making them feel bad for expressing their feelings.

My husband is American and he is certainly not a guy who takes things for granted and that the world revolves around him. He feels for others, all others, no matter where they are from or how difficult the situation, because if you look for how we are different you are sure to find it, but if you look for how we are the same, you find something much better.

It is also not easy to cross the CanAmera border in case some think that. My husband and I went to see a baseball game in Michigan, and they did not want to let him back into Canada. Having a visitor record gets you in... once.

I am very grateful to be able to be with my Husband through this, it is a blessing, but we too have hard days where the stress of finances, limited access to health care and at high costs, not being able to cross the border and visit family/get meds exc., and having little to do for him (causes depression, loneliness, and he has anxiety), makes us feel frustrated too. Are we worse off than anyone, not the point, we just express what we are thankful for and what is hard just like anyone else to make things easier by sharing with those going through a somewhat similar time.

 

[shortyp2000]

I don't think anyone on here is looking for sympathy, empathy yes but not sympathy. There is clearly 2 distinct groups of people in regards to this process: visa exempt and visa requiring. Visa exempt people may have it easier in regards to being able to stay with the spouse throughout the process, there is no denying that but that doesn't mean we don't understand what its like to be separated we can all empathize. Being in a country without your family and support network is hard and this is something you/your spouse (whoever is immigrating) will experience when they get here. Its a culture shock and I say this as an Aussie whose been here for a few years, I can't imagine what other people are going through who grew up in countries vastly different from Canada or people who don't speak the language. Its quite a process to transition into living in a different country, maybe I have a head start but its not something that can be avoided.

The point I was trying to make in my previous posts was that we are all suffering albeit it different ways and we shouldn't be made to feel guilty because there are people worse off than we are. I'm not having a go at anybody, I just think that if there are 2 groups of people going through this why can't both groups have a bit of a whine about the process. We're all going through the same thing here we should be supporting each other through the process.

Well said

 

[sashali78]

American guys and gals, take it easy - you are venting at CIC and non-american applicants venting at you. Its all about just venting indeed ;D

 

[shortyp2000]

I, for one, want to say I never bashed Americans! That wasnt me!

 

[sashali78]

I, for one, want to say I never bashed Americans! That wasnt me!

And i just brought in an example of American movies about WW2 and the concept of pyramid of Maslow

 

[carr1]

That's a good attitude kangamoose

Anyone should be allowed the right to vent, i'm sure it's harder certain days for everyone, no matter their situation. This thread does not look like it was started to begin a debate of who has it worse, none here should be judging the other because none of us know exactly what the other is going through. Maybe one persons case is a bit simpler than yours, but maybe they struggle with depression and that makes it much harder. The only fact we all know is that everyone is going through a tough time, and sometimes venting can help, so lets not make people's difficult situations worse by making them feel bad for expressing their feelings.

My husband is American and he is certainly not a guy who takes things for granted and that the world revolves around him. He feels for others, all others, no matter where they are from or how difficult the situation, because if you look for how we are different you are sure to find it, but if you look for how we are the same, you find something much better.

It is also not easy to cross the CanAmera border in case some think that. My husband and I went to see a baseball game in Michigan, and they did not want to let him back into Canada. Having a visitor record gets you in... once.

I am very grateful to be able to be with my Husband through this, it is a blessing, but we too have hard days where the stress of finances, limited access to health care and at high costs, not being able to cross the border and visit family/get meds exc., and having little to do for him (causes depression, loneliness, and he has anxiety), makes us feel frustrated too. Are we worse off than anyone, not the point, we just express what we are thankful for and what is hard just like anyone else to make things easier by sharing with those going through a somewhat similar time.

Very well said! Let's all support each other.
I too am American and am visiting with my husband during my app process, he lives on the Michigan/Ontario border and it's not easy to just run over the border as the one time we did cross i wasn't almost let back into Ontario to visit. Most days I'm so happy I get to be with him during this process but it's lonely at times missing home and being somewhere that I know no one except my husband. I come to this forum for help with my application, to watch the progress of other apps and to know I'm not alone in the wait.

 

[jamsham12]

Non-american? Last I check I am american lol! It kinda funny how sensitive Americans are, if i read my statement correctly it states most Americans not all. Yes this is a long process and stressful but i do not understand complaining about being bored with your spouse in Canada because you cant work or have the benefits of a Canadian for the time being while the application in process, seems trivial to me compared to people who wait months if not years only to be rejected a visitor visa to visit their spouse. SMH.

 

[shortyp2000]

Non-american? Last I check I am american lol! It kinda funny how sensitive Americans are, if i read my statement correctly it states most Americans not all. Yes this is a long process and stressful but i do not understand complaining about being bored with your spouse in Canada because you cant work or have the benefits of a Canadian for the time being while the application in process, seems trivial to me compared to people who wait months if not years only to be rejected a visitor visa to visit their spouse. SMH.

Agreed. Plus one.

 

[Beaverdiva]

I just feel grateful and thankful to have a spouse at all.

A co-worker lost her husband in very tragic circumstances and is now raising two beautiful children by herself. She's only 34.

Whenever I feel low, sorry for myself, miss my husband, I remind myself of how lucky I am to have him in my life.
An image of her pops in my mind and I think yes, the process is long and frustrating and yes it's hard bringing up 4 kids by myself at the moment but there's light at the end of the tunnel for us and we'll be reunited some time soon.. For my friend, that's never going to happen.

We need to prop each other up and support one another and empathise irrespective of where you live and what your circumstances are.

Well said, Kanagmoose

Best wishes everyone :-*