Hey again,
Thanks for your support. the IO called my husband's father this morning and his optometrist, and we got our landlord to call her (the IO) and leave a message and our neighbour as well, my husband's mother will call tomorrow. I talked to the IO as well after I posted my last message, and I'm 99% sure that she'll refuse us.
She said that she's reconsidered her decision, and that there's lots of contradictions in our case even though she said yesterday that there were none. She believes that we live together, and that I'm in love with my husband, but because my husband didn't do well in his engineering courses in 2008/ 2009 and switched programs a few times (electrical engineering to industrial drafting to intensive english to finance for a month) he never had the intention of studying here, and he was just looking for someone to trick in to sponsoring him (which ended up being me according to her). We met in 2010, so from her point of view he was manipulating me even when we were still dating and he was still in status.
I explained that my husband probably was a terrible student back then (he was 18/19 and partied almost every night) and that he decided to study here because his parents wanted him to have a diploma and Canada was the only place that spoke French. He has a manipulative cousin living here who told his parents that he should do engineering before he moved here in 2008, and because of the way that culture works in Morocco, him and his family accepted this even though it wasn't what he wanted. We both explained this at the interview because I have a good understanding of the ways Moroccan culture differs from our own. She told me that I should be very cautious about my husband's intentions and implied that I'm a naive, in love person who can't see the truth about who my husband really is.
I also told her that there is no incentive for my husband to fake a relationship with me for status- people want status and residency to get a better job, have a nice, Canadian lifestyle- unless you're being persecuted and your life is in danger, reasons to have a residency are mostly material. My husband's life here with me has been FAR from nice, and if he moved back to Morocco he'd have everything he could ever want (and he could just go study in France, Spain, etc if having a diploma was really that important) Here he only has what I buy him...which is not that much.
Any sort of relationship proof I have, anything we both say about our plans, our lives together now (including our plans to have kids)...she wants "proof" of my husband's intentions when he moved here 4 years ago, which is impossible. She thinks he moved here to take advantage of someone like me.
My husband is the sweetest. most affectionate and genuine person I've ever met, and if he's lying to me I might as well jump off a bridge and end it because I'll never trust anyone never again. There's no way someone can fake 2 1/2 years after everything we've been through. We'll both go back to Morocco and apply outland after a while. They can refuse a young couple's application because we got married at a weird time and my husband screwed up his school and had a hard time making decisions about what to study, but can they refuse a couple who's been together 5 years with a massive wedding and a ton of evidence?? I don't think so.
I do know that neither of us can prove what was going on in my husband's mind 4 years ago, and neither of us can prove how genuine our relationship is if the IO already has another idea in her head. We've given all the proof we can and trying to prove that my husband is not lying is like trying to prove that God exists- there's nothing else we can do.
I'm still trying to wrap my head around accepting that I'll have leave everything I know here- our appartment, furniture (which I'm still paying for), my job, our neighbours and friends - and our birds.
Thanks so much for the kind words but I'm not sure there's any hope left for us. This is making me question Canada's status as a developed country.