Just wanted to alleviate some of your concerns, if possible. My husband had a refugee hearing in October 2013, and we submitted our sponsorship application the same month, back when estimated wait times were only 7 months. We were notified in March that his refugee claim was rejected, and applied for judicial review. He was denied a second time in November 2014, and CBSA issued a removal order. We had to attend a meeting with CBSA on December 5th and answer questions about finances and our living situation, and my husband was given a 60 day administrative deferral of his removal order. CBSA contacted CIC and requested they expedite our file, as we only had 60 days to receive a decision or he would be removed. They immediately began working on our file, and by Dec 19 we received AIP. We were notified of DM on Jan 13 and have our landing interview in one week.
So in reality, status as a failed refugee may actually speed up the process for you. I really sympathize with your concerns because not only would my husband's deportation break our family, it would also put him in severe danger of persecution.
Best of luck and I hope our story lets you rest a little easier.