Wow, that's just awful. So they say "sorry, we can't get to your application for 18 months?"
Did you order case notes to find out why your application was sent to the Calgary office? If not, I'd certainly do that, because something sounds rather peculiar anyway. You can always contact your MPs office as well. My only other suggestion would be to talk to an attorney about seeking Mandamus, but that's definitely going to cost money and it sounds like that may not be a viable option right now.
Once you get your notes, you may find there is something you can address, in which case you might be better off withdrawing the application and re-filing it, rather than waiting for Calgary to get around to you in March 2014. Since they haven't started processing the applicant (presumably), you'd at least get the $475 back for the application fee (the $75 sponsor fee won't come back because they've started processing that bit).
I must admit, if I were in your shoes, Europe would be looking pretty appealing right about now.
how to order case notes? and what are they? thx...i just follow from e cas thats it