@cansha
Please evaluate my essay. I'd be glad if u can help me out.
In some cities and towns all over the world, the high volume of traffic is a problem. What are the causes of this and what actions can be taken to solve this problem?
Weak introduction and few grammar mistakes.Globally, certain urban areas are experiencing terrible traffic and a major reason cited for this menace is huge number of vehicles on roads. Where is this reason cited? Paraphrase the essay topic. If you are giving your reasoning make it clear it is your reasoning. Do not make it messy
There are various profound Google the meaning of profound and think again if this word makes sense here. solutions which needs immediate implementation to circumvent this issue. Solutions .... need ... subject verb agreement .. Subject is plural you need verb for plural
Fair idea very flawed execution.Apparently, Why is it apparent?
the rapidly increasing population in urban areas is a major reason for high traffic. Firstly, only urban areas are prioritised for industrial and infrastructure projects so many people migrate towards these for better job opportunities and standard of living. In India, for instance, many graduates migrate to Bengaluru, Chennai, Mumbai and Hyderabad for high paying jobs and facilities these cities offer. So focusing development of urban areas lead to increase in population. Ok fair argument but the argument is hanging. It is not closed. Link it to the traffic problem. Do not expect the examiner to connect the dots
This is goodAnother significant reason is poor public transportation facilities offered in these urban areas. Because of heavily crowded local trains and buses and their poor frequency, people cannot rely on public transportation which in turn forces every individual to find an easy alternate option to commute. As a result, people purchase more vehicles for commuting which chokes these urban areas.
I get the ideas but the execution is all over the place. The paragraph flow needs to be much better.Nevertheless, there are solutions which the Government need to implement to tackle the traffic issues. Firstly, You use too many "Firstly"
as part of its due diligence, What due diligence?
Government should improve the infrastructure considering the rapidly increasing population by widening roads, introducing comfortable and frequent buses and trains. Singapore, for instance, is managing its traffic amazingly despite its dense population by operating frequent buses and trains.
Lastly, Nothing in between Firstly and Lastly??
Government should take measure to curb the migration of people by ensuring development happens bilaterally Google the meaning of this word. I can't see how it fits here
instead of urban areas.
You are using a lot of words but I think a little out of context and good use. There are ideas and they are not very far off the topic but you are struggling in the C&C portion of the test. It needs to be better to make sure you score what you desire.To conclude, drastically increasing number of vehicles and partial development I know what you are trying to convey but it is not getting conveyed here.
is the primary cause for heavy traffic which can be curbed if Government can vehemently improve their public transportation and focus developing rural area by providing facilities and job opportunities.
Again, same suggestion read more. The secret to writing a good essay is first figuring out what is a good essay. And the only way of doing is to read more essays and also read more reviewed essays on these pages. There is lots of stuff in these pages but you need to spend more time to read everything.
All the best!