Hello guys, I hope everyone here is safe and healthy,
Marosa, I tried to practice your tips and here you can see another task 2 response, could you please give me your feedback.
Thanks a lot ;-)
In many places, new homes are needed, but the only space available for building them is in the countryside. Some people believe it is more important to protect the countryside and not build new home there.
While it is thought
by some that rural parts
of should be considered for
contracting building new houses due to limited space in the cities, other
s emphasize these landscapes should be protected. I personally believe that construction should be allowed in
the suburbs
or "on the outskirts", just for your vocab, however certain legislation should be taken
into account
, no comma to protect the harmony of the areas likewise.
is "to take into account" what you meant or "certain measures/actions should be taken"?
A crucial part of
cities urban? development is implementing an efficient distribution of the population.
While proper space for building houses are scarce inside the cities these days, migrating construction site to rural areas is inevitable. This sentence does not support the previous one. Your main idea here is population should be distributed evenly (Sentence 1). Then instead of supporting that idea and explaining why, you jump to another idea that there is simply no space in the cities for more buildings. Equal distribution, however, would mean that even though there is still space in the cities, it should not be developed further, but instead the countryside should. Could I explain my thoughts? More on that, due to limited resources such as
, put the comma before “such as” drinking water, medical units and educational facilities in cities, the countryside is
s a suitable option for growing population settlement. It is worth citing that
, no comma the process could be beneficial for original residents of the countryside
as well, since new inhabitants are new sources of income, thus the whole economy of the area will be improved implicitly.
Think of an example here.
I think you should indicate in the first sentence that you’re going to discuss the economic aspect of the question. Your BP 1 will look something like this:
Sentence 1: main idea - A crucial part of economic development locally is the implementation of an efficient distribution of the population among cities and rural areas. Sentence 2: why? - "Due to limited resources...." + an example maybe. Sentence 3: so? - as a result, resources will be distributed more efficiently and will mitigate the potential risk of resource depletion. Sentence 3: why else? - "the process could be beneficial for original residents of the countryside" + an example if you didn't bring any after Sentence 2.
P.S. If you can write long enough about one of these two points (resource management and local economy development) you can leave only that one. No need to talk about every idea you have in your mind in one essay. Or you may want to have 2 separate BPs and not talk about regulations at all.
Notwithstanding
why don't you like a simple "however"? , preserving original structure and resources of urban areas is
a foundation of a sustainable development. Thus, if the whole process of building houses impose detrimental effects on natural and architectural properties of the rural areas, it drawbacks will definitely outweigh its merits. Therefore, careful regulation should be implemented to guarantee minimum damages through the construction process.
This BP is not well developed either. Sentence 1: main idea - construction will damage the rural areas’ environment. Sentence 2: why? - pollution due to construction. Or pollution due to overpopulation. Or... Sentence 3: so? - shall a government opt for building more homes outside cities, they will need to implement appropriate regulations. Sentence 4: example.
As stated herein-above,
“in conclusion” or “to conclude”, I’ll share a link in the end even though lack of
enough space have
has forced
human being people - yes, it is ok to use that words a few times in one essay Please google the difference between "people", "person(s)", "humans"/"human beings", 'individuals" to relocate to urban areas for constructing new houses, official
s should
- "ought to" is too strong, "should' is ok intervene with
an appropriate rules in order to preserve the original
properties resources is not the same as properties, I guess properties is more about real estate, though I might be wrong, please google this of these area
s. Hence, the process will be beneficial
for both both for the original residents and
for the new
-comers of the countryside.