IELTS - Writing - For Band 7 or Above.

[marosa]

Actually while writing, I found out that there are 3 distinctive ideas, so I incorporated all. After seeing reviews, I came to know that BP2 and BP3 can be mixed.
Yes its true.

One of the advantages of CD test is that you can cut and move sentences after you’re done. Well, as long as you have enough time.

But again, you should learn to sort of “foresee” what you’re going to write at the planning stage. So right at the planning stage you should’ve understood that you don’t have enough arguments for BP 3 and either think of an argument or leave that idea at all.

There is no need to write down each and every thought or idea that you have in your mind with regards to the question. The examiner doesn’t care about how erudite you are. It’s ok to discuss only 2 main ideas, so simply pick those you can support with logical arguments and examples.

 

[reesastark]

Hi!

Please see the video here: https://ieltsliz.com/is-a-conclusion-important-in-ielts-writing-task-2/

Also, read Cansha’s post on do’s and dont’s here: https://www.canadavisa.com/canada-immigration-discussion-board/threads/ielts-writing-for-band-7-or-above.540392/page-90#post-7568485

Dear Marosa,
Thanks for your insightful tips, I reall am working on them.

here is my new writing, can you take a look at it?
Thnks
I want to know what is its score band?

In the past, when students did a university degree, they tended to study in their pwn country.

Nowadays, they have more opportunity to study abroad.

What are the advantages and disadvantages of this development?

Recent developments in the worldwide educational system and the globalization phenomenon, provide students with the opportunity of studying aboard. While obvious advantages of this evolution are having access to the scientific and technological materials of high quality and the chance to be familiar with other countries’ cultures, however, there will be some drawbacks.

One of the advantageous aspect of studying abroad is that everyone all over the world, has the possibility to study in high-profile universities. In other words, not all students have access to an appropriate education system in their own countries. In this way, talented students are able receive high quality educational services that they actually deserve, regardless of where they have been born. Another beneficial aspect is that students will acknowledge other countries cultural values, by studying aboard. In fact, students from various cultural and social backgrounds gather and interchange their values with each other. Consequently, they are more likely to cope with the possible cultural conflicts in the future and will have more flexible attitude in this regard.

On the other hand, young adults who have to leave their home country for studying, will definitely face some difficulties. Firstly, they might be dealing with emotional issues, since, they have to live on their own and far from their families. Moreover, they must cope with a brand new social and cultural barriers. Therefore, if the situation will not be handled in a well-prepared way, serious problems will be inevitable. Secondly, not knowing the guest country’s language precisely, can become a thoughtful obstacle. The possible misunderstandings can results in complexities, if they do not be able to convey their thoughts accurately. As a result, new comers will be encountering challenges in their education process and their personal lives.

To conclude, studying abroad provides fair educational opportunities for every student around the globe. Simultaneously, it offers a deep understating of cultural diversities which can be useful for the future generations. However, emotional issues of leaving their homeland and coping to convey their thoughts in a new languages, assume to be its considerable drawbacks.

 

[reesastark]

َAny of the knowledgable members here can help me with my essay please?

Dear Marosa,

Thanks for your insightful tips, I reall am working on them.

here is my new writing, can you take a look at it?
Thnks
I want to know what is its score band?

In the past, when students did a university degree, they tended to study in their pwn country.

Nowadays, they have more opportunity to study abroad.

What are the advantages and disadvantages of this development?

Recent developments in the worldwide educational system and the globalization phenomenon, provide students with the opportunity of studying aboard. While obvious advantages of this evolution are having access to the scientific and technological materials of high quality and the chance to be familiar with other countries’ cultures, however, there will be some drawbacks.

One of the advantageous aspect of studying abroad is that everyone all over the world, has the possibility to study in high-profile universities. In other words, not all students have access to an appropriate education system in their own countries. In this way, talented students are able receive high quality educational services that they actually deserve, regardless of where they have been born. Another beneficial aspect is that students will acknowledge other countries cultural values, by studying aboard. In fact, students from various cultural and social backgrounds gather and interchange their values with each other. Consequently, they are more likely to cope with the possible cultural conflicts in the future and will have more flexible attitude in this regard.

On the other hand, young adults who have to leave their home country for studying, will definitely face some difficulties. Firstly, they might be dealing with emotional issues, since, they have to live on their own and far from their families. Moreover, they must cope with a brand new social and cultural barriers. Therefore, if the situation will not be handled in a well-prepared way, serious problems will be inevitable. Secondly, not knowing the guest country’s language precisely, can become a thoughtful obstacle. The possible misunderstandings can results in complexities, if they do not be able to convey their thoughts accurately. As a result, new comers will be encountering challenges in their education process and their personal lives.

To conclude, studying abroad provides fair educational opportunities for every student around the globe. Simultaneously, it offers a deep understating of cultural diversities which can be useful for the future generations. However, emotional issues of leaving their homeland and coping to convey their thoughts in a new languages, assume to be its considerable drawbacks.

 

[Taiwo ogunmodede]

I got my test result, and I'm very much disappointed with it.
L-8, R-6.5, W-5.5, S-6.5 and overall - 6.5

This was the second time I took the IELTS test, and my earlier score was
L-7, R-6, W-5.5, S-7, overall-6.5

I'm so broken now, I don't know what should I do. I really don't know where I am going wrong in writing. I don't want to take the test for the 3rd time. Please help with, is there any alternative? I really can't make through it. Please help.

I am a new member here,i am planning to relocate to Canada which i have to do the IELTS Exam,please i need TIPS from people who have done it before or advice.

 

[tommyvercetti]

In the past, when students did a university degree, they tended to study in their pwn country.

Nowadays, they have more opportunity to study abroad.

What are the advantages and disadvantages of this development?


A graduation degree can make or break one’s career, therefore, to pursue it in one’s own home country or a foreign land is an important decision to be made. Studying abroad can equip one with world class methods and techniques. Contrastingly, one can loose one’s uniqueness and belief system.

When one moves to foreign country for studying he gets to learn methods and subjects which are being followed all over the world. For example, Artificial intelligence is a common subject in many colleges in Canada, U.S, whereas, in India only few top colleges offer this. When a person graduates in a global subject, his employment as well as earning power increases significantly. As a result, he can afford a better living standard, therefore, studying abroad can be an advantageous decision.

Although, there ought to be some ramifications when a person moves abroad. The person mixes up in new culture and while, this transition takes place, he leaves his culture, beliefs and takes on a new identity. Due to this, many languages are on the verge of extinction. A study published in a language journal states that the second generation of new immigrants in a country, adopts the new language in 60% cases and changes religion in 30% cases. This can be a great disadvantage for a global world where, variety can disappear and only one religion, language remains.

At last, it can be said that studying abroad can be a great option if someone wants increased pay, better knowledge of worldly affairs but, he should be ready to embrace the change. At last, it is hoped that before considering abroad studying students weigh in the pros and cons and make decision accordingly.

just saw the question here and tried to attempt
can someone please point the errors or estimate a band score.
thanks

 

[marosa]

I am a new member here,i am planning to relocate to Canada which i have to do the IELTS Exam,please i need TIPS from people who have done it before or advice.

Hi and welcome.

First of all, this is most probably going to be a long trip, during which you will have to remain positive and patient. It took me 5 attempts and 1.5 years to overcome band 6 in writing, even though I had previously worked as a translator and interpreter for years, plus had years of work experience at an international company, where all the documentation and 90% of communication was in English, too. So it was really annoying for me not to be able to get a 7 for writing, which I assumed was a pretty average score. At the same time I would nail the other sections time after time, but was no use of it, as CLB takes into account the results from each section separately and not the overall score. Finally, when I got to understand what exactly the examiners wanted from me it turned out to be pretty easy to jump from 6.5 to 8. Very often people get stuck with 6.5 and in most cases it means they know the language, but they don’t know the exam format.

Secondly, if you’ve quoted your own results here (with reading 6 and writing 5.5) it may be the case that you need to overall improve your English prior to starting practicing for IELTS specifically. I don’t know your level, so that’s just my guess. Btw this quarantine period might be the perfect time to improve your English, since Canada has paused regular draws anyways.

Reading and listening are all about practicing and there are plenty of online resources, so you just need to google those.

Speaking is also mainly about practicing. So you can search for common topics and questions and practice those. You can also find tips on what words to use or to avoid, how to answer to questions in each section, etc online, too.

As for writing, in this thread we can help you with meeting the exam requirements or fitting into the exam format, if you want. However you will have to do your homework yourself. By this I mean: learn the essay types and how to answer each; learn marking criteria, so that you know what is expected from you; improve grammar and vocabulary, to ensure sufficient lexical resource and grammatical range; read reviewed band 7+ essays to get used to the format... Reading comments on posted essays within this thread can also help.

Hope I could answer, good luck!

 

[marosa]

Dear Marosa,
Thanks for your insightful tips, I reall am working on them.

here is my new writing, can you take a look at it?
Thnks
I want to know what is its score band?

In the past, when students did a university degree, they tended to study in their pwn country.

Nowadays, they have more opportunity to study abroad.

What are the advantages and disadvantages of this development?

Recent developments in the worldwide educational system and the globalization phenomenon yes, I understand you want to show the examiner that you know the word phenomenon, but you don’t really need it here, so why not to save it for some other occasion? , provide students with the opportunity of studying aboard. While obvious advantages of this evolution are having access to the scientific and technological materials of high quality and the chance to be familiar with other countries’ cultures, however, there will be will be when? We already have this situation in the present, so the drawbacks are also in the present some drawbacks.

One of the advantageous aspects of studying abroad is that everyone all over the world, why do you need a comma here? has the possibility to study in high-profile universities. In other words, please dear try to avoid this phrase, I don’t know how many times I’ve made this comment not all students have access to an appropriate education system in their own countries. In this way, talented students are able receive high quality educational services that they actually deserve, regardless of where they have been born have been born - means have just been born or have recently been born, unless you’re discussing a newborn, use the past tense plz . Another beneficial aspect is that students will acknowledge other countries cultural values, by studying aboard. In fact, students from various cultural and social backgrounds gather and interchange or exchange their values with each other. Consequently, they are more likely to cope with the possible cultural conflicts in the future and will have more flexible attitude in this regard with this regards. Example?

On the other hand, young adults who have to leave their home country for studying, will definitely face some difficulties this is the first sentence of your body paragraph, here you should have your main idea, meaning that at least here you should be more specific, even if you decided not to mention those difficulties in the intro. Firstly, they might be dealing with emotional issues, since, they have to live on their own and far from their families. Moreover, they must cope with a brand new social and cultural barriers. Therefore, if the situation will is not be handled in a well-prepared way, serious problems will be inevitable. Secondly, not knowing the guest country’s language precisely, can become a thoughtful obstacle. The possible misunderstandings can results in complexities, if they do not be able to convey their thoughts accurately. As a result, new comers no space here will be encountering challenges in their education process and their personal lives.

After reading the BP entirely I somewhat understand why you couldn’t give out the main idea neither in the intro nor in the first sentence - you haven’t formulated the main idea to yourself prior to starting the essay, that’s why you had to jump from one idea to another along the BP. Being apart from the family is one idea: you can develop it by stating that this can cause emotional harm and depression and therefore affect studies and future career. Not knowing the language is another main idea that again had to be developed in 3-4 sentences. Cultural differences is another main idea... you had to pick just one and develop it.

Secondly, you present the same situation both as positive and negative. First you say cultural differences is good cuz it may help in the future, then you say cultural differences is bad.

What you could do you could talk about high quality education as a pro and being away from home as a con, for example.


To conclude, studying abroad provides fair educational opportunities for every student around the globe. Simultaneously, it offers a deep understating of cultural diversities which can be useful for the future generations. However, emotional issues of leaving their homeland and coping to convey their thoughts in a new languages, assume to be its considerable drawbacks “is a considerable drawback”. One or two sentences for the conclusion, 3 is too much. It’s just a conclusion, a space to sum up.

Btw, see in the conclusion you already mentioned the drawbacks exactly. This means you most probably didn’t plan the essay, so you knew what the drawbacks were only after you were done with BP2.)))))

Hello

Since I am not an IELTS examiner, I cannot evaluate your essays, like I cannot tell you a precise score you’d get were you at an exam. The most I can do is to assess if it’s above 6.5 or not and show some areas of improvement, based on my own experience. This particular one would not get you 7 at the exam.(

A takeaway from this post - if you remove a phrase from a sentence and the meaning of the sentence hasn’t changed - do remove it. Each and every word you put in your essay has to serve a purpose. AND if you ever hesitate whether to put a comma or not, then most probably you shouldn’t)))

P.s. You ain’t gonna get 7 if you don’t have examples. So please work on those. I know that’s one of the most difficult parts, but it’s a must.

 

[marosa]

In the past, when students did a university degree, they tended to study in their pwn country.

Nowadays, they have more opportunity to study abroad.

What are the advantages and disadvantages of this development?


A graduation degree can make or break one’s career, therefore, to pursue it in one’s own home country or a foreign land is an important decision to be made. Ok, after this sentence you just need to point out the advantage and the disadvantage that you’re going to talk about in the body paragraphs. Studying abroad can equip one with world class methods and techniques. Contrastingly, one can loose one’s uniqueness and belief system. Why not to combine these 2 sentences with a “while”? This way you will have one complex sentence instead of two simple ones. “While studying abroad has an advantage in terms of equipping students with high class methods and techniques, it may also lead to such a disadvantage as losing....”

When one moves to foreign country for studying he gets to learn methods and subjects which are being followed all over the world. For example, Artificial intelligence is a common subject in many colleges in Canada, U.S, whereas, in India only few top colleges offer this courses dedicated to this topic. That’s one good example When a person graduates in do they say to graduate “in” or “with”? a global subject, his employment as well as earning power increases significantly what do you mean by “his employment increases”?. As a result, he can afford a better living standard, therefore, studying abroad can be an advantageous decision. I don’t think this idea deserves a separate sentence

*Try to avoid using “one” and “he” too often, this shows the examiner that your vocabulary is limited, so try to paraphrase such sentences.

Although On the other hand, there ought to be are some ramifications when a person student moves abroad, including the threat of losing their national identity . The person student, we’re talking about students specifically, not just any person mixes up in new culture and while, this transition takes place, he leaves can or may leave, since it’s not a 100% truth and is not applicable to each and every student studying abroad his culture, beliefs and takes on a new identity. Due to this, many languages cultures? are on the verge of extinction. A study published in a language journal states that the second generation of new immigrants in a country, adopts the new language in 60% cases and changes religion in 30% cases. With your examples, either be more specific (mentioning what study, by whom, what country it refers to, what period etc), so that it doesn’t sound so obviously made up, or better provide a general assumption rather than exact numbers or percentages. For example, you can say something like “it is therefore no wonder that the overwhelming majority of Indian students studying in the UK prefer to speak English even with others of their nationality”. Or you can think of a better example. You see, even though there are no numbers in my example, it still illustrates an actual situation that would support the idea brought in the previous sentences. This can be a great I’m not a native speaker, but to me “great” should more relate to a positive situation or development, what if you use “major” instead? disadvantage for a global world where, variety can disappear and only one religion, and/or? language remains may potentially remain. I think this last assumption is too extreme and far from the reality, but it’s up to you.

At last In conclusion or to conclude, it can be said that studying abroad can be a great option if someone wants increased pay, better knowledge of worldly affairs but, he should be ready to embrace the change. At last, it is hoped that before considering abroad studying students weigh in the pros and cons and make decision accordingly. Actually, you should not give suggestions if you’re not asked to. So in the conclusion simply restate what you have in the intro and in the body paragraphs, that despite some demerits like the risk of losing identity, there are certain advantages including the opportunity to adopt high standard skills and knowledge.

just saw the question here and tried to attempt
can someone please point the errors or estimate a band score.
thanks

Hi!

Please see my comments above.

This particular essay would most probably get 6.5, but it’s mainly because you didn’t follow their format.

 

[marosa]

Dear Marosa,
Thanks for your insightful tips, I reall am working on them.

here is my new writing, can you take a look at it?
Thnks
I want to know what is its score band?

In the past, when students did a university degree, they tended to study in their pwn country.

Nowadays, they have more opportunity to study abroad.

What are the advantages and disadvantages of this development?

Recent developments in the worldwide educational system and the globalization phenomenon, provide students with the opportunity of studying aboard. While obvious advantages of this evolution are having access to the scientific and technological materials of high quality and the chance to be familiar with other countries’ cultures, however, there will be some drawbacks.

One of the advantageous aspect of studying abroad is that everyone all over the world, has the possibility to study in high-profile universities. In other words, not all students have access to an appropriate education system in their own countries. In this way, talented students are able receive high quality educational services that they actually deserve, regardless of where they have been born. Another beneficial aspect is that students will acknowledge other countries cultural values, by studying aboard. In fact, students from various cultural and social backgrounds gather and interchange their values with each other. Consequently, they are more likely to cope with the possible cultural conflicts in the future and will have more flexible attitude in this regard.

On the other hand, young adults who have to leave their home country for studying, will definitely face some difficulties. Firstly, they might be dealing with emotional issues, since, they have to live on their own and far from their families. Moreover, they must cope with a brand new social and cultural barriers. Therefore, if the situation will not be handled in a well-prepared way, serious problems will be inevitable. Secondly, not knowing the guest country’s language precisely, can become a thoughtful obstacle. The possible misunderstandings can results in complexities, if they do not be able to convey their thoughts accurately. As a result, new comers will be encountering challenges in their education process and their personal lives.

To conclude, studying abroad provides fair educational opportunities for every student around the globe. Simultaneously, it offers a deep understating of cultural diversities which can be useful for the future generations. However, emotional issues of leaving their homeland and coping to convey their thoughts in a new languages, assume to be its considerable drawbacks.

I just noticed that the very first line of my post that you’ve quoted here is the link to Liz’ tips on how to write a conclusion. And one of the very few tips she has there is that your conclusion should be one or two sentences (+ I’m pretty sure you can find that same tip in Cansha’s post as well). And yet you have 3. You see, it takes quite a lot of time to review each essay in detail, maybe just as long as to write one or sometimes even longer. And it’s somehow demotivating to keep reviewing essays if my comments don’t bring much value, like I keep repeating the same thing over and over again.

Also, it would be useful to pay attention to others’ reviewed essays, too, because most of people (including me in the past) tend to make the same mistakes. For example, maybe me or Cansha didn’t tell you personally that prior to writing an essay you should spend few minutes planning it, but you can find that same advice throughout this thread, so why not to follow it.

 

[tommyvercetti]

Hi!

Please see my comments above.

This particular essay would most probably get 6.5, but it’s mainly because you didn’t follow their format.

thanks for the input i will try to find and follow format

 

[marosa]

thanks for the input i will try to find and follow format

https://www.canadavisa.com/canada-immigration-discussion-board/threads/ielts-writing-for-band-7-or-above.540392/page-90#post-7568485

 

[CA GURPREET SINGH MANN]

In the past, when students did a university degree, they tended to study in their pwn country.

Nowadays, they have more opportunity to study abroad.

What are the advantages and disadvantages of this development?

Students nowadays can study a tertiary level course in a foreign country unlike in the past when they only had to study the university level education in their home country. Although this opportunity helps students to get better education and makes them independent and dynamic, it also has several demerits.

One of the advantages of this avenue is that students get best education in their field as international colleges have best professors and resources. These facilities help them to understand their course work in depth, which is not possible when they study in their home country, as they lack qualified resources. Cambridge University in America has appointed ex-Governor of the Reserve Bank of India to teach economics degree to students from the world over. Students also become independent in the host country because they have to manage their academic and personal affairs on their own without any help from parents, siblings and relatives. Along with that, they become culturally tolerant since their peers are from different countries, race and religion. This helps them to understand each others cultures, customs, traditions and rituals better, which can reduce anti-social elements, such as discrimination on the basis of nationality and language, in the society.

However, the main problem of studying at an international university is that it is too expensive and beyond the reach of the poor and most of middle income families. This means only students who are from affluent families can study in these educational institutions and bear the accommodation and living costs. Also, when students are away from their native friends and families, they experience loneliness. This is because they lack psychological support of their loved ones and experience cultural shock simultaneously.That is why every international college has the psychologically support programmes for its students to motivate them timely. It is also seen that students face linguistic barriers while doing assignments, giving presentations and reading course materials, as most of their courses are in internationally recognized language instead of their own national or regional dialect.


In conclusion, the development of studying a tertiary level course abroad is helpful for students as they get knowledge from best faculties which help them to become more independent and open-minded. Nevertheless, it also creates a huge economic burden on students and their families and many other psychological and linguistic problems for students.

 

[marosa]

In the past, when students did a university degree, they tended to study in their pwn country.

Nowadays, they have more opportunity to study abroad.

What are the advantages and disadvantages of this development?

Students nowadays can study a tertiary level course not really sure about this phrase but ok in a foreign country unlike in the past when they only had to study the university level education you don’t say “to study education” - to study a subject, to receive education, to gain a degree in their home country. Although this opportunity helps students to get better education and makes them independent and dynamic, it also has several demerits.

On the one hand, One of the advantages of this avenue international education is that students are able to get or have access to the best (top quality) education in their field, as international colleges have the best (highly qualified) professors and resources.

1. using simple and common adjectives like “good”, “bad”, “big”, “small” etc is not getting you any closer to band 7. So instead of saying “best” twice within one sentence you can say - top quality or high quality education, or education at a top ranked university etc; qualified or well-known or acknowledged professors; a wide range of recourses. Besides being a simple B1 word, “best” is a general description. You see, best when applied to a university means one thing, when applied to a professor means a different thing, when applied to an organization... be specific.

2. instead of making your statements sound as 100% true, try to use constructions with “can”, “should”, “must”, “ought to”, “have a chance to” etc.

These facilities help them to understand their course work in depth, which is not possible when they study in their home country, as they lack qualified resources. Cambridge University in America has appointed if you say “has appointed” - indicate when, however if it hasn’t happened just recently- it’s better to use simple past ex-Governor of the Reserve Bank of India to teach economics degree to students from the world over all over the world. Here your main idea ends, and you’re missing a sentence explaining what’s good about studying at a top university. Students also become independent in the host country because they have to manage their academic and personal affairs on their own without any help from parents, siblings and relatives. This was your second main idea, you should develop it or not talk about it at all Along with that, they become culturally tolerant since their peers are from different countries, race and religion. And this is your third main idea, which you supported with only one sentence. This helps them to understand each others cultures, customs, traditions and rituals better, which can reduce anti-social elements, such as discrimination on the basis of nationality and language, in the society. This sentence doesn’t feel natural and it’s too wordy, you could develop your ideas in a manner similar to this: “As a result, students are more likely to become socially engaged in the future, since they are able to get to know (and understand, if you wish) various cultures, customs and traditions. It is therefore no wonder that national and language-based discrimination is at much lower rates within multicultural environments, such as international universities and organizations.”

However, the main problem of studying at an international university is that it is too expensive and beyond the reach of the poor and most of middle income families. This means only students who are from affluent families can study in these educational institutions and bear the accommodation and living costs. Here your main idea 1 ends. The question is what’s bad about poor people not being able to study abroad?You haven’t developed your idea to a logical conclusion. Also, when students are away from their native friends and families, they experience loneliness. This is because they lack psychological support of their loved ones and experience cultural shock simultaneously. That is why every international college has the psychologically support programmes for its students to motivate them timely. So it’s not a problem, because universities help students overcome this situation? Then why is it in your disadvantages list? It is also seen that students face linguistic barriers while doing assignments, giving presentations and reading course materials, as most of their courses are in internationally recognized language instead of their own national or regional dialect. Main idea 3, which is again not developed. ‍


In conclusion, the development of studying a tertiary level course abroad is helpful advantageous, beneficial for students as they get knowledge from best faculties which help them to become more independent and open-minded. Nevertheless, it also creates a huge economic burden on students and their families and many other which many other? psychological and linguistic problems for students.

Hi, you have 6 main ideas, only one of which is somewhat developed.

 

[CA GURPREET SINGH MANN]

Hi, you have 6 main ideas, only one of which is somewhat developed.

Hi!

That is why I have chosen to write advantage disadvantage one.
This is because I am unsure about putting number of ideas in them. I know generally, we have to put one idea and then try to extend in a single BP.
But in this type, I thought to incorporate 2/3advantages and 2/3 disadvantages.

Now the confusion here

1. How many main points in one main advantage or disadvantage para?

2. I guess two are fine in each as each sub point will be extended further in two lines.

3. In this type, can we put more emphasis of TA point by adding ideas and shortening explanations? Or just 2 ideas in each para with details are fine?

 

[NIRALI-08]

Hello members, I am a new member and I am going to give general Ielts in 2 months, I would really appreciate if someone can share the essay material for scoring 7 or above bands in writing, or any tips of advice. Thanks this is my email (pnitsi@yahoo.com)