IELTS - Writing - For Band 7 or Above.
- Thread starter H0peAndFa1th
- Start date
messed up in speaking ran out of time in writing so didn't proofread in actual test. wrote task 2 in just 28 mins. was writing task 1 for whole 32 mins lack of practice is to blame. speaking was on a later day so didn't do well, anyways at that time I wasn't aiming for 8777.
my score was LRWS- 8,9,7,6.5
now too afraid that i'm gonna mess up writing this time
This time I'm aiming for 7.5, please give me some suggestion on what particular structures to follow in different types of essay as you already hv scored 7.5 in writing and if possible kindly share some tips for speaking also.
Task Achievement: Both views are discussed, and the opinion is stated. Concluding statement agrees with the opinion mentioned in intro paragraph.
Coherence and Cohesion: Para 2 is well written and supported with examples that side opinion 1.
You should had avoided this line "However, this exclusive experience is often not possible while watching movies on portable electronic gadgets as people usually get disturbed by any call or messages during movie streaming" in Para 2 as you are supposed to be discussing why people side with opinion 2, this statement contradicts with the purpose of the paragraph, thus impacting your coherence and cohesion.
A better conclusion could have been written like: "To conclude, it is undeniable that watching movies on portable devices is convenient, however, in my opinion, the overall experience of watching a movie on the big screen outweighs the many benefits of portable devices.". Did you see, how I closed it? Basically, I tried paraphrasing my intro paragraph.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy:
The modern technological inventions have revolutionised -> <Omit The> Modern technological inventions has
Para 2 Line 1 : Others, however, myself included -> However, other people, including myself
When you say others, it is understood you are talking about people to have a different opinion, using "however" after "others" is over usage/misusage of linking words. Myself included is wrong grammar, correction -> including me. It is never correct to use 'myself' in a sentence that does not also contain another first-person pronoun such as 'I' 'me', or 'my'.
tablets is rather convenient -> tablets is <omit rather> convenient
I still believe to completely feel the film and enjoy it one must go to the cinema to watch it. -> I still believe, to completely feel the film and enjoy it, one must go to the cinema <omit to> and watch it. [notice the punctuation].
A lot of simple sentences have been used, practice writing compound and complex sentences to score more on GRA.
Lexical Resources : Lexical resources are fine. Some words are mis-used like "rather" in concluding paragraph.
Hi @cansha and other experts. I have my IELTS exam on the 20th of July. Can you please assess my essay and let me know of an approximate band score for it. I will be very grateful for your support. Thanks in advance.
Labour-saving devices such as dishwashers and communication tools such as computers are supposed to make our lives easier. However, some people argue that these devices only make them more difficult.
Does modern technology reduce or increase stress?
It is often debated that whether automated machines like dishwashers and interaction devices such as computer systems makes human lives easier or hard. While some agree, others do not. Modern technology if used properly, can simplify human life and try and reduce daily life stress.
The most valued thing in today’s world is known to be ‘Time’. With the help of latest technological advancement, work which once used to take weeks or months, now can be executed in minutes or hours such as sending an email from one continent to another. Furthermore, travelling has also become considerably easier, thanks to the constantly improving technology of aviation. We can now travel from one country to another with ease, which was not the case a century ago. Moreover, modern household devices such as dishwashers have lent a helping hand to families in doing their routine chores such as cleansing of utensils. For example, if we are tired by the end of the day, we do not have to stay awake long after dinner in order to wash our plates, cutlery and glassware and can instead use the services of a dishwasher.
Secondly, with the use of advanced technological gadgets, there is always less chance of error and increased productivity. While working in a fast paced environment, human errors are always possible due to which productivity can be affected in a negative manner, but when using computer controlled machines, the error percentage becomes almost negligible and thereby efficiency increases significantly. For instance, a cloth factory using robotics can produce huge bulk of clothing, in a very short period of time as compared to manual labour.
To sum up, if we learn the art of using technology for our benefits, it can certainly help reducing stress in our lives. We will not only be able to save our precious time, but can also reduce chances or errors, and can do multiple tasks simultaneously which can be economically beneficial.
Labour-saving devices such as dishwashers and communication tools such as computers are supposed to make our lives easier. However, some people argue that these devices only make them more difficult.
Does modern technology reduce or increase stress?
It is often debated that whether automated machines like dishwashers and interaction devices such as computer systems makes human lives easier or hard. While some agree, others do not. Modern technology if used properly, can simplify human life and try and reduce daily life stress.
The most valued thing in today’s world is known to be ‘Time’. With the help of latest technological advancement, work which once used to take weeks or months, now can be executed in minutes or hours such as sending an email from one continent to another. Furthermore, travelling has also become considerably easier, thanks to the constantly improving technology of aviation. We can now travel from one country to another with ease, which was not the case a century ago. Moreover, modern household devices such as dishwashers have lent a helping hand to families in doing their routine chores such as cleansing of utensils. For example, if we are tired by the end of the day, we do not have to stay awake long after dinner in order to wash our plates, cutlery and glassware and can instead use the services of a dishwasher.
Secondly, with the use of advanced technological gadgets, there is always less chance of error and increased productivity. While working in a fast paced environment, human errors are always possible due to which productivity can be affected in a negative manner, but when using computer controlled machines, the error percentage becomes almost negligible and thereby efficiency increases significantly. For instance, a cloth factory using robotics can produce huge bulk of clothing, in a very short period of time as compared to manual labour.
To sum up, if we learn the art of using technology for our benefits, it can certainly help reducing stress in our lives. We will not only be able to save our precious time, but can also reduce chances or errors, and can do multiple tasks simultaneously which can be economically beneficial.
Dear @cansha , @H0peAndFa1th and other experts, please evaluate. I tried to incorporate issues pointed out earlier, please help.
Task 1
You need to take leave from your work of over one month for personal reasons.
Write a letter to your boss. In your letter:
- Explain the reason for the leave and the length of leave you need
- Explain how you will keep up-to-date while you’re away
- Suggest how your work could be covered while you are away
Total Words: 193
Time: 20 Minutes
Dear Mark,
My grandmother is suffering from heart issues and is seriously ill. She lives in Dubai with my uncle, and I want to visit her next month. I would request you to please approve my one-month leave, so that I can travel and meet her during this hard time.
I realize that the audit of the organization is scheduled in next month, for that matter, I will stay updated during my leave. I will check my email regularly and will stay updated through shared office database. Moreover, I will also ensure to give inputs on the reports.
I have explained every minute detail about the work to my assistant. She has the potential of dealing with complex situations and is well-versed in office matters. Hence, she will serve as a useful alternate to perform my routine tasks. I have also instructed her to keep me updated by sending an email at the end of each day, so that I must know that she is handling everything with due diligence.
I hope you will approve my leave and will give me chance to meet my ailing grandmother.
Thank you
Yours Sincerely,
Madeeha Syed
Task 2
These days many children spend a lot of their time playing computer games but little time doing sports.
Why is this?
Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?
Total Words: 294
Time: 36 Minutes
Now a days, children are more inclined towards playing video games instead of playing outdoors. This is due to the unpredictable security conditions as well as the lack of sporting facilities such as grounds, available to them. In my opinion, it is an unhealthy practice and is leading towards physically unfit individuals. In this essay, I will explain this phenomenon.
The rising criminal activities are infuriating parents who want their children to play outdoors more than indoors playing computer games. Few days back I read a news where few children were attacked by a group of kidnappers, who actually hurt some of those kids. Such news and the deteriorating condition of security makes it almost impossible for parents to let their children play outside. Consequently, the negative trend of spending more time on computer games is encouraged.
Currently, there are very less play areas available to the kids where they can spend their time. Either these are in bad condition or sometimes are occupied by the mafias. The playground where I used to play during my childhood is now in worst condition, it has no facilities and during rain it becomes impossible to even walk in there. This is also one of the reasons hindering children from playing outside. Due to this, children are compelled to play computer games involving minimal physical movement. This is making them physically unfit, which is quite alarming.
To conclude, children are not given safe places where they can play outside. Communities and living areas are lacking in proper outdoor play areas where children can spend their day. This is because there are no facilities and maintenance of old grounds. In my opinion, this is a negative development, as lack of physical exertion leads toward physically unfit future generation.
Task 1
You need to take leave from your work of over one month for personal reasons.
Write a letter to your boss. In your letter:
- Explain the reason for the leave and the length of leave you need
- Explain how you will keep up-to-date while you’re away
- Suggest how your work could be covered while you are away
Total Words: 193
Time: 20 Minutes
Dear Mark,
My grandmother is suffering from heart issues and is seriously ill. She lives in Dubai with my uncle, and I want to visit her next month. I would request you to please approve my one-month leave, so that I can travel and meet her during this hard time.
I realize that the audit of the organization is scheduled in next month, for that matter, I will stay updated during my leave. I will check my email regularly and will stay updated through shared office database. Moreover, I will also ensure to give inputs on the reports.
I have explained every minute detail about the work to my assistant. She has the potential of dealing with complex situations and is well-versed in office matters. Hence, she will serve as a useful alternate to perform my routine tasks. I have also instructed her to keep me updated by sending an email at the end of each day, so that I must know that she is handling everything with due diligence.
I hope you will approve my leave and will give me chance to meet my ailing grandmother.
Thank you
Yours Sincerely,
Madeeha Syed
Task 2
These days many children spend a lot of their time playing computer games but little time doing sports.
Why is this?
Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?
Total Words: 294
Time: 36 Minutes
Now a days, children are more inclined towards playing video games instead of playing outdoors. This is due to the unpredictable security conditions as well as the lack of sporting facilities such as grounds, available to them. In my opinion, it is an unhealthy practice and is leading towards physically unfit individuals. In this essay, I will explain this phenomenon.
The rising criminal activities are infuriating parents who want their children to play outdoors more than indoors playing computer games. Few days back I read a news where few children were attacked by a group of kidnappers, who actually hurt some of those kids. Such news and the deteriorating condition of security makes it almost impossible for parents to let their children play outside. Consequently, the negative trend of spending more time on computer games is encouraged.
Currently, there are very less play areas available to the kids where they can spend their time. Either these are in bad condition or sometimes are occupied by the mafias. The playground where I used to play during my childhood is now in worst condition, it has no facilities and during rain it becomes impossible to even walk in there. This is also one of the reasons hindering children from playing outside. Due to this, children are compelled to play computer games involving minimal physical movement. This is making them physically unfit, which is quite alarming.
To conclude, children are not given safe places where they can play outside. Communities and living areas are lacking in proper outdoor play areas where children can spend their day. This is because there are no facilities and maintenance of old grounds. In my opinion, this is a negative development, as lack of physical exertion leads toward physically unfit future generation.
Thanks a lot for this thorough explanation will keep these points in mind while writing another one.
Task Achievement
The question asked whether it reduces or increases stress [thus asking a clear opinion], and you presented a clear opinion about the topic, which was there in your conclusion and introduction paragraph.
Coherence and Cohesion
1. In Paragraph 1, you repeated the example of cleaning of utensils, -> "Moreover, modern household devices such as dishwashers have lent a helping hand to families in doing their routine chores such as cleansing of utensils. For example, if we are tired by the end of the day, we do not have to stay awake long after dinner in order to wash our plates, cutlery and glassware and can instead use the services of a dishwasher." Avoid repetion, this would mark down your coherence and cohesion.
2. Also in para 2, you committed repetition, the error percentage becomes almost negligible and thereby efficiency increases significantly. For instance, a cloth factory using robotics can produce huge bulk of clothing, in a very short period of time as compared to manual labour, by giving examples of your example.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
1. Most of the sentences that you have produced are simple sentences, try writing complex and compound sentences. Google it and practice.
2. There were few identifiable mistakes in your grammar, which needs to be worked upon.
: the constantly improving technology of aviation -> constantly improving technology in aviation.
: wash our plates -> wash plates
Lexical Resources
1. Avoid repetition of words that are mentioned in the topic and do not use words more than twice in your essay, try to come with synonyms for different words to score more on LR.
2. Some words have been misused or inappropriately used and you should avoid that. For example
: Computer Controlled machine -> A more apt word would be "automatic machines" or "robots"
: help reducing stress -> help reduce stress.
: interaction devices (used in the intro) is not equal to computer systems. You can interact physically with some computer systems but not all. Similar to all cars are vehicles but all vehicles are not cars.
Thank you for your response dear. What would be an estimated band for this essay of mine?
Some young people a
Is it true that to improve your band in writing you should re-write the same essay and improve every time with new vocab or ideas?
Hey,
Is it true that to improve your band in writing you should re-write the same essay and improve every time with new vocab or ideas?
Dear @cansha, @H0peAndFa1th, @dotslash227, and other available experts, could you please evaluate my essay and give me an approximate band score. Thanks to all of you in advance.
Every country should have a free health service, even if this means that the latest medical treatments may not be available through the service because they are too expensive.
To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Nowadays, providing free healthcare is a hot topic of discussion around the globe. I personally believe that medical services should be provided free of cost to individuals, although some top of the range services may not be covered due to lack of funds or equipment.
Residents living anywhere around the world should be provided with free of charge medical coverage as a part of their basic human rights. Usually, a major portion of these individuals are in the workforce, and play a major part in driving the country’s economy. Additionally, not only do they pay taxes on their earnings, but are also taxed when purchasing products such as gas, or grocery etc. In return, the government is liable to provide them with an appropriate medical cover. Moreover, there can always be people who may not be financially stable and could become severely ill, so they cannot be left on their own as it would be a violation of basic human rights. A beautiful example of a welfare state is Canada, which provides free medical facilities to all of its citizens regardless of their financial status.
Another main benefit of providing free of cost medical service is having an overall healthier population. While it is agreed that the cost of some terminal healthcare issues like cancer cannot be covered by every country due to financial constraints or lack of equipment, but when majority of healthcare is free, people from all levels of society can avail treatment for commonly occurring diseases. For example, if a poor individual is infected with Tuberculosis virus, a communicable disease and cannot afford its treatment, there is a high chance that it could be transmitted to healthy people of society. Therefore, the treatment of infected patients would be detrimental to the government.
In conclusion, I agree that healthcare benefits should be readily available for every human being as it is an integral part of their basic rights, and it is always beneficial for the government to have healthier citizens.
Every country should have a free health service, even if this means that the latest medical treatments may not be available through the service because they are too expensive.
To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Nowadays, providing free healthcare is a hot topic of discussion around the globe. I personally believe that medical services should be provided free of cost to individuals, although some top of the range services may not be covered due to lack of funds or equipment.
Residents living anywhere around the world should be provided with free of charge medical coverage as a part of their basic human rights. Usually, a major portion of these individuals are in the workforce, and play a major part in driving the country’s economy. Additionally, not only do they pay taxes on their earnings, but are also taxed when purchasing products such as gas, or grocery etc. In return, the government is liable to provide them with an appropriate medical cover. Moreover, there can always be people who may not be financially stable and could become severely ill, so they cannot be left on their own as it would be a violation of basic human rights. A beautiful example of a welfare state is Canada, which provides free medical facilities to all of its citizens regardless of their financial status.
Another main benefit of providing free of cost medical service is having an overall healthier population. While it is agreed that the cost of some terminal healthcare issues like cancer cannot be covered by every country due to financial constraints or lack of equipment, but when majority of healthcare is free, people from all levels of society can avail treatment for commonly occurring diseases. For example, if a poor individual is infected with Tuberculosis virus, a communicable disease and cannot afford its treatment, there is a high chance that it could be transmitted to healthy people of society. Therefore, the treatment of infected patients would be detrimental to the government.
In conclusion, I agree that healthcare benefits should be readily available for every human being as it is an integral part of their basic rights, and it is always beneficial for the government to have healthier citizens.
Just received my 2nd IELTS rest result - L8.5 / R9 / W7 / S7. What a surprise!! I really thought I failed on speaking test as I was super super nervous during the whole test and made a lot of stupid mistakes... Now all of a sudden I managed to get the CLB9 I needed!!!
I know 7 is only a ‘passing score’ and I am not an expert on IELTS writing at all, but I just want to give the people who are still struggling with writing a bit of hope and sharing from my side:
I know 7 is only a ‘passing score’ and I am not an expert on IELTS writing at all, but I just want to give the people who are still struggling with writing a bit of hope and sharing from my side:
- If possible, take Computer-delivered test rather than Paper-based test, particularly if you are struggling with Reading and/or Writing. This is because the reading test in CDT allows you to: 1) highlight any part of the reading content; 2) copy and paste (ctrl+C & ctrl+V), therefore spelling errors will be avoided. Likewise, CDT writing part allows free editing with cut-and-paste short-cuts (ctrl+X & ctrl+V), and for frequent computer users, typing is so much easier and faster compared with handwriting. For me I managed to write (type) 200+ words for task 1, ~300 words in task 2 and I still got around 3 mins to check spellings and gramma at a glance, but in my previous PBT I almost didn’t finish task 2 due to time limit and had to jump to conclusion paragraph before reaching the 250 words count.
- In regards to the study materials, I strongly recommend IELTSLiz videos and website, especially for task 2. I also referred to Simon’s website (especially for task 1) and free sample letters/essays. By reading these materials I was quite confident with the letter & essay structure before my first attempt, and I scored 6.5 in writing although I had almost 0 actual writing practice.
- Understand the band descriptor. Download the band descriptor from IELTS official website and read it through - from your current band to band 9. I also read some tips and descriptions on IELTSLiz website to understand band scores better. Upon reading and understanding band descriptors I immediately realized my weakness is lexical resource, and my strengths are task achievement and grammatical accuracy. I even ‘planned’ how I could reach band 7 in writing in detail - like, try to reach 8 on task achievement & gramma, 7 on coherence and cohesion, and allow myself a 6 on lexical resource, thus an overall 7; I also decided to write task 2 before task 1 as task 2 weights more score.
- Practice makes perfect. Before taking the second test, I searched for recent GT writing questions online and practiced 16 task 1 letters and 12 task 2 essays. From such practices I noticed time limit can be a big challenge for me so I particularly paid extra attention to time keeping. After each practice, do not just leave it there. Compare it with sample essays, mark the essay yourself, and try to improve the essay with sample essays and/or other help. For me, each task 2 exercise may take 2 hours or more: 35-50 mins writing, 2-3 mins check (no access to any other resources just like in a real test), then study the sample essay and highlight the good sentences/phrases/vocabularies & look through in dictionary with sample sentences (takes about 30 mins), then refine the essay I just wrote (another 30 mins). If I felt unconfident in the topic then I would google for some good arguments (e.g. on Quora) before refining the essay, and this may take an extra 1-2 hours. I improved mostly on my lexical resources as well as the ability to complete a well- structured essay with strong points within limited time.
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Some people think that modern technology is making people more sociable, while others think it is making them less sociable. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
Advancement in recent technologies has been said to be responsible for the rise in social interactions among people, while others believe otherwise positing that users of new technology have become less interactive with people. This essay examines both points of view and seeks to pick a stand.
The advent of modern technology brought attendant development in the ways humans could relate with each other. Perhaps the most important improvement was the ability to network with new friends across continents. Also, the world was reduced to a global village; this implies that information about different cultures can easily be shared. These developments have seen to the births of friendships that would have been impossible in the past, not left out is the added confidence every user gained from the anonymity of sites such as facebook, twitter etc. People who are introverts have now been able to overcome such inhibitions and made friendships online which have metamorphosed into marriages, business partners etc.
On the other hand, some schools of thought opined that new technology is responsible for the decline in social relationships among people. It is believed that people now prefer spending time on their devices playing video games or chatting online to the detriment of real time friendships with people they see physically. The consequence of this is the decline in social relationships even among families. A good indication of this is the high rate of divorce often times as a result of spouses spending time online with virtual strangers at the expense of their families.
To conclude, I am of the opinion that modern technology has ushered in better platforms for humans to socialize, people can now cross intercontinental divides and meet new people simply by joining a social media network or clicking a button. Also, already existing friendships have been solidified with the presence of advanced technology. That is not to say that technology does not have its drawbacks but the benefits is greater.
Advancement in recent technologies has been said to be responsible for the rise in social interactions among people, while others believe otherwise positing that users of new technology have become less interactive with people. This essay examines both points of view and seeks to pick a stand.
The advent of modern technology brought attendant development in the ways humans could relate with each other. Perhaps the most important improvement was the ability to network with new friends across continents. Also, the world was reduced to a global village; this implies that information about different cultures can easily be shared. These developments have seen to the births of friendships that would have been impossible in the past, not left out is the added confidence every user gained from the anonymity of sites such as facebook, twitter etc. People who are introverts have now been able to overcome such inhibitions and made friendships online which have metamorphosed into marriages, business partners etc.
On the other hand, some schools of thought opined that new technology is responsible for the decline in social relationships among people. It is believed that people now prefer spending time on their devices playing video games or chatting online to the detriment of real time friendships with people they see physically. The consequence of this is the decline in social relationships even among families. A good indication of this is the high rate of divorce often times as a result of spouses spending time online with virtual strangers at the expense of their families.
To conclude, I am of the opinion that modern technology has ushered in better platforms for humans to socialize, people can now cross intercontinental divides and meet new people simply by joining a social media network or clicking a button. Also, already existing friendships have been solidified with the presence of advanced technology. That is not to say that technology does not have its drawbacks but the benefits is greater.
Hi once again @cansha @H0peAndFa1th @dotslash227 and all others. Can you please evaluate my essay and give me an approximate band score. Your help will be greatly appreciated.
Thanks.