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Divorcing your sponsored spouse -Advice please

Smurfette

Newbie
Mar 1, 2011
6
0
HELLO.

I need some solid advice of what to do and for a good lawyer. I am a Canadian Citiizen, born and raised who married to a man from Iran in 2007. HE became a PR in 2009. 3 years is done in 2012. I want a divorce, but as we were not living in Canada together yet, I moved because our PR process was taking to long. So i am non resident of Canada now and he is in ontario as of December 2010. I know under the divorce act we have to wait 1 years of residency in canada which is fine. That one year would be in Jan 2012. From what I have read so far, is it true I can get a divorce official before the 3 years support time for spouse is done? I know I have to continue supporting him in canada until that date.

We had an informal agreement since I have been the complete financial backer for his last 3 years of university, (which his family completely dumped on me within 2 months of being married, which was never the plan as we had discussed before marriage, and this was all outside of Canada). Anyways since I had been the sole breadwinner, when he graduated and was ready to come to Canada, he said he doesn't want any more money from me at all so we informally agreed that my contrbution to the marriage thus far was way more they it was supposed to be, as I had to pay my own student loans. SO I stopped giving him money as he entered Canada in December as he is living with his brothers. Well I received a letter just now that got lost in the mail that he went ahead and applied for social assistance this past Jan., and never bothered to tell me. I know that I am contractly obligated to support him until 2012, but is he still allowed to claim social assistance when he is living for free with family? I just feel like I have been played, from the the push from his family in Canada for us to get married much sooner then planned because they said immigration would take so long with him being from Iran, to all of a sudden they quit supporting him for university when we had all discussed that it wouldn't be my responsibility since he was in university already when I met him, and that when he came to Canada after graduation that yes ofcourse any further schooling would be mine.

Now that things went horribly sour with us, I can see that his money craved family were the ones who told him to apply for social assistance and he is going on their recommendations. He has agreed to cancel the social assistance, and I want to get a seperation agreement right away to protect myself until the 3 year end date and for whenever I can get a final divorce. I feel him going on social assistance, in which I know he did not need to go on it at all was out of advice from him family and spite to try and ruin chances of me ever meeting someone else and possibly re-marry again as I have left canada. So long winded way of asking: anyone know a good lawyer in Toronto? And now what is a specific amount I would need to still send him until this 3 year term is done. I have given about 40,000 over the last two years for his school, rent, life , etc...I assumed foolishly that I had done my part when his family dumped it on me, I assumed under good faith they would take care of their family member for this last year, as I know they can afford. I am just trying to figure out how to protect myself. This should be the easiest divorce as we have no ties, assests, properties, rrsps etc, as I got rid of everything when I left canada 3 years ago. All we have tied together is our marriage contract from Iran. I have gone from meeting I thought the love of my life who I was ready to do anything for,, packed up my life in Canada to be with him, to feeling like I have been tricked.

Any words of advice?


Thanks
 

jendrian

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Oct 2, 2010
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kinda seems like you haven't even lived with the guy, but well, I don't know a good lawyer from Toronto but I do know a couple things I read from the packages and other canadian immigration stuff in the family class for spouses:

1. If he has received social assistance already, it's a debt you acquired to the canadian government and they will charge you at some point.

2. You can indeed divorce him before the three years, but you are still forced to look after him 'til 2012.

Are you in Canada now? I couldn't make heads or tails of where you were now, but if you are, I would suggest asking for a lawyer info at the city hall (in fact a google search will throw a good bunch). There's not much to gain or lose and neither of you wants to keep in the relationship so any lawyer should do (in fact I would think you can represent yourself too). Beware though, that any debt he acquires, whether you're married to him or not, is YOUR responsibility until 2012, even social assistance.
 

mayasita

Full Member
Sep 19, 2010
42
2
jendrian said:
Beware though, that any debt he acquires, whether you're married to him or not, is YOUR responsibility until 2012, even social assistance.
not true... the debt must be to the "crown"... (i.e. social assistance, disability etc)...

if he acquires personal debt (credit cards etc) that's his own responsibility...

i'd say divorce him the cheapest way possible and save the lawyer money to recover any debt he might ring up against the sponsorship
 

Smurfette

Newbie
Mar 1, 2011
6
0
Thanks for your input. I am currently working living in Qatar. I have emailed some lawyers in Toronto waiting to here a response. He has been on social assistance just since Jan, and its only been about 600 so far, so I m going to pay that back right away. They were giving him 203 dollars a month, is that I all am expected you think to give him. He is living at home and working for his family, which of course they are not doing on paper...just irritates me. I just want it done as quick and as possible. Thanks for the responses.
 

mayasita

Full Member
Sep 19, 2010
42
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more my opinon than anything else here, but you are not *expected* to give him anything... it should be expected that he lives like a man and takes care of himself rather than leeching off anyone (esp his estranged wife without whom he wouldn't be where he is in any context)...

by law, you do not have to give him money... if he cannot find the means to support himself, he is entitled to go on welfare and then you are to reimburse the government.,.. make him go on welfare if he can live with himself... i wouldn't give him a cent personally!

sorry... rant over!
 

Smurfette

Newbie
Mar 1, 2011
6
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Thanks guys, Sorry I had asked this question in the space of another discussion as I didn't know how to write a new topic. So will that hurt me to just pay back social assistance then pay him..which i think I would rather do? Because they said my file would be transferred to canada revenue collection agency if I didn't pay them back, which I ofcourse will. If I have the option of paying them rather then him that would be better. But I am not sure what that will do to me tax wise, I am assuming nothing since I am not living and working in Cananda, I just have to pay them this. great advice guys...my poor friends here don't know what to tell me..lol
 

canuck0469

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Nov 30, 2009
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Smurf, do not pay him anything. You have no way of knowing if he will pay your debt to the government. He will likey take your $ and smile that he has some extra spending money and continue to rack up your debt to the gov't. When you get the notice to repay, pay the gov't directly and don't add insult to injury.

Good luck and sorry for your problems
 

Baloo

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The government will not "see" any payments you make to him. Stop any payments or any benefit from you to him.
Most people cant stay on welfare too long, it is not a lot to live on.

Let him claim welfare, stay away from him, don;t deal with him, just deal with the government.

Notify the government that he is living for free with family, if he has not disclosed this he is acting fraudulently, not good.

Kiss goodbye to any informal agreements that you had, they mean nothing.
 

canadianwoman

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Smurfette said:
He has been on social assistance just since Jan, and its only been about 600 so far, so I m going to pay that back right away.
Wait til the government sends you a bill.
They were giving him 203 dollars a month, is that I all am expected you think to give him.
Yes, this is all the government will expect you to pay back. But note you should not just give this money, or any more money, to him. He will just take it and continue to get welfare, which you will then also have to pay back to the governement. He is only getting $200 a month on welfare, so even if he stays on welfare for the rest of the sponsorship time, you will not owe the government too much - in any case, less than you have given him already.
He is living at home and working for his family, which of course they are not doing on paper...
You can report this to the welfare authorities. It sounds like they already know he is living at home, since his monthly welfare amount is low, but if you tell them he is working illegally, they will look into it and probably cut him off.
 

angelbrat

Hero Member
Oct 31, 2009
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Agrees with the report him to social assistance. They will stop his payments whilst they investigate your claim.

If they do find him working illegally, you will not need to pay anything. Do NOT pay him....and wait for the government to investigate and send you a bill.
 

Baloo

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Nov 30, 2009
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When the bill (to the government) is finally paid by you, then the welfare dept will eventually send a letter to CIC to let them know that "you are no longer in default" and there are no outstanding debts.
You will get a copy of the letter.

You can arrange to pay the government in one lump sum or in staged payments.
 

urvan99

Newbie
Aug 5, 2009
3
0
Dear ia m also canadian citizen and currently having the same issue's regarding divorce. I am also working in DOHA, QATAR now
plz let me know how i can reach you out or you contact me via email- keepandtouch01@hotmail.com

Thanks,
 

urvan99

Newbie
Aug 5, 2009
3
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Smurfette said:
Thanks everyone for the great advice. Made the last two days seem just a little less *censored word*ty. :)
[/quote

Dear ia m also canadian citizen and currently having the same issue's regarding divorce. I am also working in DOHA, QATAR now
plz let me know how i can reach you out or you contact me via email- keepandtouch01@hotmail.com

Thanks,