Did it really worth it?

[Melisaa]

So I thought maybe to start this thread and share mutual experiences. I'm a bit upset about how Canada has threatened us all. Off course it's a beautiful country with some good (not so great) oppurnities, democracy, education, job, and all. I live in Canada for over 10 years now. We were a family of 4 when we immigrated under investment class. I am from a beautiful country with really good people who are suffering under the pressure of dictators. Moneywise, we had a great life back home, could access anything and everything, but my parents decided to bring all their money to Canada for the future of their children, in hopes of a better life. My parents are educated, honest people who eventually coped with depression for not knowing the language and being far away from their family. And me... Off course I could have things that couldn't have in my own country. I was a 15 year old when we moved to Toronto, but ever since I feel a double unconscious that's getting more and more, a dilemma that's sometimes eating me from inside... I don't know where I belong to. Huge contrast between my own culture and Canada...eventough Im more used to Canadian culture, but still there is something eastern deep inside of me that I often miss my beautiful land that is getting destroyed by bunch of clowns.

Now, when applying under sponsorship, my hubby got refused once, for a minor reason which I'm sure if he was European, for instance, there would have been an interview, at least, before the refusal... An alert, a warning, or some sort of communication from CIC, but nothing... And suddently a beautifully written refusal in my inbox. I could have appealed, I could have taken the officer's decision to the court, but decided to fix the problem and re apply, as I didn't want to wait any longer just to be with my hubby.

Please don't ask me about why we got refused and stuff. My point here was to share my experience with CIC and Canada. My intention is not to destroy Canada or anything like that... Believe me I really love this country, but very often I come across this question: did it really worth immigration? My parent's depression, financial problems...mentally struggling with my own situation.... And many other immigrants I have seen in Canada who have gone though even worse things.... I don't know who to blame.... My country, immigratins, racism?

But I truly wish all immigrants and newcomers a great life in Canada.

 

[messenger]

So I thought maybe to start this thread and share mutual experiences. I'm a bit upset about how Canada has threatened us all. Off course it's a beautiful country with some good (not so great) oppurnities, democracy, education, job, and all. I live in Canada for over 10 years now. We were a family of 4 when we immigrated under investment class. I am from a beautiful country with really good people who are suffering under the pressure of dictators. Moneywise, we had a great life back home, could access anything and everything, but my parents decided to bring all their money to Canada for the future of their children, in hopes of a better life. My parents are educated, honest people who eventually coped with depression for not knowing the language and being far away from their family. And me... Off course I could have things that couldn't have in my own country. I was a 15 year old when we moved to Toronto, but ever since I feel a double unconscious that's getting more and more, a dilemma that's sometimes eating me from inside... I don't know where I belong to. Huge contrast between my own culture and Canada...eventough Im more used to Canadian culture, but still there is something eastern deep inside of me that I often miss my beautiful land that is getting destroyed by bunch of clowns.

Now, when applying under sponsorship, my hubby got refused once, for a minor reason which I'm sure if he was European, for instance, there would have been an interview, at least, before the refusal... An alert, a warning, or some sort of communication from CIC, but nothing... And suddently a beautifully written refusal in my inbox. I could have appealed, I could have taken the officer's decision to the court, but decided to fix the problem and re apply, as I didn't want to wait any longer just to be with my hubby.

Please don't ask me about why we got refused and stuff. My point here was to share my experience with CIC and Canada. My intention is not to destroy Canada or anything like that... Believe me I really love this country, but very often I come across this question: did it really worth immigration? My parent's depression, financial problems...mentally struggling with my own situation.... And many other immigrants I have seen in Canada who have gone though even worse things.... I don't know who to blame.... My country, immigratins, racism?

But I truly wish all immigrants and newcomers a great life in Canada.

Hi Melisaa

For starters let me say that I understand your feelings. Really sorry for your husband's refusal but I am sure you will fight this decision and you will once again be re-united!

I am not going to write extensive theories here just a couple of things from my own perspective and of my 57 years experience.
Many people immigrate to countries like Canada like I did in 1980.
Some are from countries that have similar situations as yours and some just want to live the American dream (yes even in Canada) like I did!
What I realized during my also 10 years in Canada (Toronto btw) is that to stop feeling miserable and homesick about my being away from the sun and the beaches and my friends of my old country, was to start participating in the Canadian way of life.
Slowly but surely I started pulling away from the close knit confines of my immigrant community and started getting involved more and more into every day things Canadians did. Adjusted my mentality, made many Canadian friends, opened my mind, improved my accent, improved my humor, and in general, lived as much as I could into life that thousands of Canadians live.

Canada did not take us in by force! We all wanted to come to Canada either by own will or by someone else's decision (ie: our parents)

We should not expect our host country to adjust to us but we must adjust to it!

I am sure when you wrote your message above you were influenced by the negative decision from CIC. CIC is not Canada. It is only a service.
As for if it was worth immigrating to Canada, it is only up to you to decide. Place your likes and dislikes on a scale and find out.

To end my message
I too left Canada 23 years ago because I had decided at that time that I had enough of snow and slush! The sun and the beaches of my old country weighted more on my scale at that time! So I left!

I wish you a fast appeal or re-applying and I hope you will find peace in your heart and stop punishing your self with all these thoughts and enjoy your life to the fullest!

Regards
messenger

 

[ekaterina1984]

it really worth it , fight for your love . Unfortunately those people have thier right to control our destiny everything in their hands, They know better wheather your ralationship is genine or not , have you your future together or not. It's their job

 

[CanadianJeepGuy]

The pay off for all the BS to get here and get landed may not be realized for years; sometimes generations. The formula is not the same for everyone. No roads are easy but what you do have is the opportunity for opportunity. How you perceive it and manage it is all yours.

 

[gladiateur19]

sorry but i would like to ask why you got a refused...that's how you are sharing your experience and helping others to watch their file and be careful...also it's gonna give us an idea if you got refused for a good reason or not

 

[quebec23]

Im also very curious since you said that there were no interview and it got refused straightfoward

 

[gladiateur19]

Im also very curious since you said that there were no interview and it got refused straightfoward

yeah exactly,we really need more explanation here...

 

[Pippin]

Melissa opened herself to us on this Forum and qualified it with the request that we respect her privacy. I found it interesting to read her comments. I am a Canadian with an English mother and Canadian father. Mum took us to England regularly as I was growing up and I can say that I feel that England is my second home. I feel pangs to go back if it has been more than a few years since the last visit. It doesn't reach the depth of melancholy experienced by Melissa, but I can fully empathize.

 

[Melisaa]

Hello again,

Thank you everyone for your beautiful comments. It's always nice to see a mutual experience. I must say, I was a bit mad when I started this thread... I think I have the right to be mad though... Since CIC wastd 2 years of my life that could be the best 2 years of my life being next to my newly marrid husband. Anyways, I really don't like to complain. The past is past. I stayed strong. Please guys stay strong, fight for what you want for your life. CIC is nothing

 

[gongdi]

First, I'd like to say I really appreciate the candidness of this thread. I pretty much agree with all of your statements, although for different reasons. I am certain CIC has ruined a great number of years for many people, not to mention more or less forced an end of a great number of legitimate relationships due to years of inaction.

I feel particularly insulted that I, a native born Canadian, am subjected to a year (possibly more) of suspicion and scrutiny from officers who know nothing of my family and could care less whether or not my wife ever gets processed. Since you claimed 'racism' could be behind your husband's refusal, I will say possibly so but you can bet that if offered up an 'investment', you bet he he'd be accepted, regardless of his ethnicity!
For instance, corrupt Chinese govt official with absolutely no relation to Canada, can buy his way into Canada and thus a "get out of jail free card" by making an, ahem, "investment" of 800K.

If universities are afraid they will lose their tuition money from foreign students due to the strike, the government will expedite the process as they did earlier this month. Further, stingy companies who are looking for extra cheap labour are getting their "skilled tim horton's workers" visas in due time as well. All the while, CANADIANS trying to sponsor loved ones get stuck in this strike mess and are completely ignored and viewed as unimportant because we don't generate as much money as students, investment immigrant...etc.

Canadians are taking second place at CIC for foreigners who are often corrupt govt officials in their home countries who don't give a damn about my country and who just want a convenient place to hide when the time comes. How come these corrupt officials don't get background checks and are only outed when the country of origin demands their return? I sometimes wonder how taking citizenship bribes from corrupt people is not corrupt in itself?

If I didn't already realize the immense benefits of living in Canada for our baby daughter (clean air, clean food, good education, open mindedness), maybe I would be tempted to give up on my wife's PR and find a way to stay in her country for as long as possible. Throughout this painful process, I am beginning to wonder what is happening to the country I love?

 

[Melisaa]

Thank you very much gongdi for your opinion. I 100% agree with every word in your comment. It's offcourse MONEY. I feel pitty for those who think many Western countries and North America are 100% for human rights. Canada surely has a democratic system, but come on.... I have seen many people including myself being under pressure of CIC. I have heard from friends how shamefully officials at different embassies behaved and talked during a spousal sponsorship interview. And I have heard how politely they interview investors ( taking them to a nice room, coffee and snacks, and all fake prestige...). I basically decided to not give a s h i t anymore about the process, simply because I alone cannot change anything. The best I could do is to sign a petition or send letters that I found useless. I had so much proof in my application. Over 5 trips to together, Skype talk every day, me visiting him twice a year in his home country, being from same educational background, and having a same job, etc.... And yet I have to be worried they might again refuse us because at our ceremony it was only he and myself ( we married in another country ). So I'm just waiting to see what happens at the end. Just wanna have my love next to me, and that's all.

 

[Mevakesh]

It's worth it if you enjoy Freedom of choice to do pretty much anything and everything. Not many countries out there that let you do whatever you want, believe in whatever you want, and live your life however you want.

I came around the same age as you, and I can understand what you felt as I went through that as well. You feel somewhat stuck between cultures... In the end, when life settled down it has been worth it. I love this Country.

My parents probably have a different perspective though. As you said, like your family, they could have had whatever they wanted back home. As new mature immigrants people need to realize that you are basically sowing the seed for your kids' future when you come to Canada. I usually tell friends and family back home that don't leave your good paying jobs just to move to Canada. It's not easy life as a new immigrant unless you have decent job opportunities and finances lined up.

 

[LeisaP]

It depends where you come from and how you feel about the change,
I know for my family and my husband it was worth it to bring him to Canada, and he would do the long, difficult process over again if he had to, just to have our life in Canada.
But for others maybe it isn't worth it.
Everyone has different experiences and come from different walks of life, if you really want to be somewhere and make the best of it, than yes its definatly worth it.
If you don't, than why bother...

I agree with those 2 lines messenger said

"Canada did not take us in by force! We all wanted to come to Canada either by own will or by someone else's decision (ie: our parents)

We should not expect our host country to adjust to us but we must adjust to it! "

 

[keesio]

My parents probably have a different perspective though. As you said, like your family, they could have had whatever they wanted back home. As new mature immigrants people need to realize that you are basically sowing the seed for your kids' future when you come to Canada. I usually tell friends and family back home that don't leave your good paying jobs just to move to Canada. It's not easy life as a new immigrant unless you have decent job opportunities and finances lined up.

This is a very good point. My parents moved to the US long ago and my dad never fully adjusted to life in the US, even though financially they ended up doing fine after a rough start early. Language was a big issue. Cultural issues another. But like you said, he came to give his kids a chance for a better life, which fortunately turned out to be true. Now that they are retired, they moved back to Korea where my dad has always felt more comfortable. My mom's feeling is a bit more mixed since she had adjusted much better to the US but overall it was a good move for them. Fortunately for them, Korea is no longer the post-war torn country when they first left and is very stable now (other than the usual North Korean threats). Unfortunately the OP's home country is not.

I'm also an immigrant (to Canada) (moved here 13 years ago) but let's face it, moving from US->Canada is hardly culture shock and not that much different. The two countries are pretty similar, though all my Canadian friends vehemently disagree

 

[ready_fi_move_on]

I have to say I love this thread and am happy to know that I am not the only one going through this delema....I love my home country if not for the corrupt government n the lack of jobs I would pack up and move back....I find it hard to survive as a working class citizen here in canada it is hard for you to survive on your own. You try to improve your situation by bringing your mate so the two of you can work at building your life together but cic gives you a fight. Then when they finally make it here they have to start frim scratch because qualifications from back home not valid in canada....smh