Devastated at how long it's taking ( over 4 months since passport request)

[MofC2014]

...if we had known it was going to be this complicated to be together, we might have thought twice about getting involved with each other in the first place.

Grahin, it is true that everyone has a right to complain, however some take it too far. Look above at the quote from the OP. Does that sound like someone in a genuine relationship?

 

[Graihn]

Grahin, it is true that everyone has a right to complain, however some take it too far. Look above at the quote from the OP. Does that sound like someone in a genuine relationship?

I know what you mean. The relationship could be genuine, but if the attitude is "If I had known it would take this long I wouldn't have bothered applying" then it is possibly not a very strong one.

But I think she just meant that when they started dating, if she had known how hard it would be to be together, they might have ended it before it go too serious to save them from heart ache.

 

[MofC2014]

If everyone knew the problems they may encounter in a marriage prior to that marriage no one would be getting married therefore the divorce rate would be nil LOL Being married comes with all ups and downs, and definitely tough moments we all encounter. Each and every message the OP posted is negative in some way, we all try to help and give information which may help in figuring out why there may be a delay, and how to overcome it, and unfortunately in answer the OP complains more and calls her situation devastating.

Since the OP is settling in QC she will only find out soon enough what QC is all about, and if the OP does not speak fluent French will be in for quite a ride.

 

[Graihn]

If everyone knew the problems they may encounter in a marriage prior to that marriage no one would be getting married therefore the divorce rate would be nil LOL Being married comes with all ups and downs, and definitely tough moments we all encounter. Each and every message the OP posted is negative in some way, we all try to help and give information which may help in figuring out why there may be a delay, and how to overcome it, and unfortunately in answer the OP complains more and calls her situation devastating.

Since the OP is settling in QC she will only find out soon enough what QC is all about, and if the OP does not speak fluent French will be in for quite a ride.

Only place in the world where I haven't been asked by the waiter if I needed another beer

 

[MofC2014]

Don't misunderstand me, I love vising QC, but that's pretty much where I draw the line.

 

[QuebecOkie]

Meh, Québec's not so bad. If you at least make some effort to speak a little French, the people are pretty kind. You've *got* to bring a good attitude and a smile, though.

 

[Graihn]

Meh, Québec's not so bad. If you at least make some effort to speak a little French, the people are pretty kind. You've *got* to bring a good attitude and a smile, though.

I can not speak a single word of French, other than bonjour

I might have ruined my chances of getting another beer when saying "gracias" for receiving the first one

 

[keesio]

Meh, Québec's not so bad. If you at least make some effort to speak a little French, the people are pretty kind. You've *got* to bring a good attitude and a smile, though.

My visits to Quebec have been fine. Both Montreal and Quebec City. Seems like the people who have issues are anglo-Canadians who can't speak French (the whole anglo issue). If they find out you are not Canadian, and trying to speak French, they give you a pass. Also, if you are non-anglo, or really non-european (white) looking, they give you a pass to a degree since they don't expect you to be able to speak good English or French and as long as you can speak one of the two languages, they are satisfied and if your try to speak any French at all (no matter how bad it is), they will smile.

 

[MofC2014]

I agree that it's not a bad place to visit or live, but as QuebecOkie said, you have to have the right type of attitude, which the OP lacks.

 

[MofC2014]

I can not speak a single word of French, other than bonjour

I might have ruined my chances of getting another beer when saying "gracias" for receiving the first one

Grahin, LOL thank you for this, you just made my day

 

[Soleil2020]

It's all relative of what a long wait is. Allow people to complain about their wait. It is still a wait they don't want to endure.

Thank you for defending my right to be upset about the wait.

And for the rest of you:
I never said I had it worse than anyone else. How bad it is for each individual or each couple is based on very specific life situations. Just because I CAN visit my husband doesn't make it any easier. ( or that we actually are able for various reasons $$$) We married because we love each other and because we want to make a home together, not travel back and forth, back and forth where I'll always have a deadline to leave.
( especially at our ages- we are both in our 50's...not old, but time for us, in our lives, to settle in if we want to.)

When we first started out this process, we were told by our attorney " once we file all your papers with immigration, that's when the 6 month count down to the end begins." Now we have just learned that it will be at least July 2014 and likely later than that.

I certainly didn't marry my husband for money. We're freakin poor. Not kidding. We literally ration food, just so we can stay together here as much as possible. ( We would be so much better off if I were allowed to work even a part-time job here.) We married in August 2012 and had to scrape, scrape, scrape to finally have all the fees to actually file the application.( lawyers' fees included- what a mistake..we didn't realize we didn't HAVE to hire a lawyer)so our application wasn't complete until January 2013.

So who ever said I shouldn't be complaining when it's been "only" a year, it's been more than a year since we have been married - 2 years this summer. It's hard enough to take the wait time, but I think the hardest part is the disappointment each time we've thought we were close. When we realized that the attorney's misleading information that it takes 6 months, then we learned it was 8 months..then 15 and now likely going on 20 months.
Back in August when they requested copies of my passport, everyone..even the woman at the immigration office said " it's only weeks now". Finding out that it's actually NOT weeks but months and months, is just a bit much to swallow.

Lastly, I want to say, I'm not on here to compare horror stories about our immigration experiences to declare whose is worse and who has a right to vent. I think we should be on here to support each other and not trivialize another couple's hardships just because we think OURS is worse.

I know people have it worse than us. I offer you my moral support. That's all I have. Furthermore, I will never tell someone to stop complaining if they feel they need to vent and I will NEVER tell them their situation is not so bad. Because I do not know about the specifics of their lives and it's not my place anyway to make that determination anyway.

 

[Soleil2020]

Grahin, it is true that everyone has a right to complain, however some take it too far. Look above at the quote from the OP. Does that sound like someone in a genuine relationship?

Who are YOU to judge the sincerity of my relationship???
I meant what the more sensible person who responded said: In the very beginning, when we first met, we would have thought twice about getting involved with someone from another country. If we had stopped the progression of the relationship early on, we would have spared ourselves the hardship. If a friend or one of my children came to me and asked my opinion about whether or not they should get involved with someone from another country, I might advise against it. The immigration process is a painful one. That's just reality.

But it certainly doesn't mean we aren't sincere. How dare you claim to judge my relationship!
My husband and I love each other very much. All we want, now that we have each other, is to be together, like any other married couple would.

 

[Avadava]

I'll have to agree with Soleil2020 on this one. I think some people have gone too far with passing judgement. This forum is about giving immigration advice, not to pry in each other's personal lives. Although everyone is entitled to an opinion, sometimes it is best to keep that opinion to ourselves.
Sometimes I wonder too what my life would have been if I hadn't married someone from another country. But that doesn't mean I don't love my husband. And it's ok to vent, this process is very stressful.

 

[Soleil2020]

I agree that it's not a bad place to visit or live, but as QuebecOkie said, you have to have the right type of attitude, which the OP lacks.

D**n! There are some self-righteous, judgmental people in here! You don't even know me. How in the heck can you tell if I have the "right attitude" or not, just by some posts in this forum? You don't know what I am like in person or what I do from day to day.
And as far as living in Quebec goes, I get along very well here when I am here. I speak English AND French. Though French is my second language and not perfect,the people around here appreciate very much that I at least respect that French is spoken here. Most of the time, once they hear my accent, they are the ones who begin to kindly speak to me in English. I find the people around here are kind and accepting.

I don't know why people have to take the opportunity to take a jab at the Francophones. My family here is Franco.( my husband's and MY aunt,uncle, cousins) but most of them are bilingual. It's not a bad thing to learn to languages, by the way. You should try it. Just sayin'.

 

[Soleil2020]

I'll have to agree with Soleil2020 on this one. I think some people have gone too far with passing judgement. This forum is about giving immigration advice, not to pry in each other's personal lives. Although everyone is entitled to an opinion, sometimes it is best to keep that opinion to ourselves.
Sometimes I wonder too what my life would have been if I hadn't married someone from another country. But that doesn't mean I don't love my husband. And it's ok to vent, this process is very stressful.

Thank you.